Part II: Aim Snap Fall

"So, what do we have planned for today?"

"I was thinking we could try out the new Smash Brothers."

Waya raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know you owned any game consoles."

Isumi shrugged. "Since you're here so often, I figured I may as well get one. I know you like them."

Waya looked at him with wide eyes. "You didn't have to do that."

Isumi smiled. "I know. I wanted to."

Waya flushed slightly. "I don't know what to say."

"Say you're going to teach me how to play, because honestly, I don't have a clue."

Waya laughed. "Sure."

And so it went that most days Waya found himself with Isumi. He'd somehow forgotten how well they got along, and though he still hurt, the smile came easier with Isumi.

"Hey, you wanna go to the movies with me? There's this new zombie flick I've been wanting to see."

"Zombies, huh?" Isumi mused. "I hope it's better than the last one I saw."

"Pfft. It has zombies. What more could you need?"

Isumi rolled his eyes. "Plot would be nice."

Waya grinned. "Plot's overrated."

"Says you."

"So, you wanna?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Isumi was like that, always willing to do whatever silly thing Waya thought up. It was fun. Comfortable. Waya felt like Isumi wanted him around just for the company. It was a good feeling.

And if he found himself looking forward to days spent with Isumi, he didn't find it strange. It just was; the natural progression of things.

It was a day like any other, the two of them watching TV on the couch, when Waya first noticed.

He felt different. Everything was the same; the same Isumi, the same inane discussion on the merits of a transporter versus the potential risks, and yet...

He wanted to be closer to Isumi.

He missed his conversational cue as butterflies took up residence inside him, and Isumi gave him a sidelong glance. "You alright?"

"Yeah. Just hungry, I think." It was the only thing he could think of on the spot, though he was pretty sure he couldn't eat if his life depended on it.

Isumi looked at the clock, and Waya tried not to stare at the way his hair fell just so across his face. What the hell was wrong with him?

"It is getting pretty late. Should I order something? We haven't had Chinese in a while."

"What? Yeah, that's fine."

"You sure you're feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

Isumi went into the kitchen to get the number off the fridge and Waya tried not to think about how he suddenly wanted to know how Isumi's hair would feel if he threaded his fingers through it.

As the days went by, the feeling got stronger. On some days, he found it difficult to talk to Isumi without flushing slightly. On others, it was difficult to keep from sitting a little too close.

He wasn't stupid; he had a pretty good idea what was happening. He just wasn't sure what to do about it. Or if he should do anything at all.

It hadn't worked out so well for him last time. He didn't want to lose Isumi like he had Shindou.

Two months later and he still hadn't spoken to Shindou. He'd seen him at the Institute, stealing surreptitious glances at him, but Waya didn't feel ready to deal with him yet. He wasn't sure if he ever would be, really. The look of hurt on Shindou's face still made him too sad and angry for anything coherent to come out, anyway.

No, he didn't want to take that chance with Isumi. He was too important to him to risk it.

Waya tried, he really did, to keep an emotional distance from Isumi while still hanging out with him, but as the days went by, he felt more and more drawn to him. It didn't help that Isumi seemed to have endless amounts of time for him, or that he was always going out of his way to come up with stuff for them to do.

It was at the roller rink when his resolve went out the window.

Waya wasn't all that good at roller skating, so it was just a matter of time before he was barreling towards the wall, unable to stop. Isumi, surprisingly agile on his roller blades, came to his rescue, grabbing his hand to steer him away from his crash course and on a safer path.

Then he just never let go.

Waya looked down at their joined hands and felt a warmth spread through him. Waya tugged on Isumi's hand, making them spin, other skaters shooting him annoyed looks as they went around the new road block. They came to a stop only inches apart, Waya looking up into Isumi's smiling eyes, and with a start he realized there was a quiet longing there that he hadn't noticed before, but now that he did, he could see it in his memories of him for as far back as he could remember.

With a soft smile, Waya started moving again, pulling Isumi along with him.

"Don't let go, okay? I don't want to crash."

"I won't let you."

They skated together like that until the place closed.

The day Waya was dreading dawned earlier than he would have liked, but he found it was impossible to go back to sleep.

He got dressed and stood around in his apartment until the nature of the day made the memories of that place unbearable and he headed to the institute two hours early.

Isumi had a game, too, and was already there waiting for him.

"You're here early."

"I thought you might have some trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd keep you company."

Waya offered him a tentative smile. "Thanks."

"Doing okay?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's just a game, right?"

Isumi's look told him just what he thought about that.

"Yeah, okay, maybe not."

They moved into the game room, starting up a game of their own to pass the time. It was familiar and it took his mind off of the next opponent he would face. He was surprised to find it was almost time for the official matches when they entered yose.

He hadn't noticed during the game, but now he could clearly see Shindou hovering by the match board, trying for all the world to look like he was supremely interested in the match ups. Waya sighed and Isumi stood up, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Then it was coming down to the starting time, and with a squeeze, Isumi retracted his hand and moved to his own board. Shindou walked like a man on his way to the gallows, looking everywhere but at Waya. He dropped into seiza, his knuckles white from his deathgrip on his fan, and stared at the board.

Waya sighed much more forcefully this time. "You can look at me, you know. I'm not going to hit you or anything."

"You sure?" Shindou said, but he looked up anyway.

"Yeah. Though I can't say the same for Touya."

"Listen-"

Waya shook his head. "This isn't the time."

Shindou bit his lip, and Waya noticed the faint scar there. "...Will it ever be the time?"

"I don't know. Probably. It's just-"

He felt like Shindou was staring right into him. "That you hate me?"

"I don't hate you, alright? God, I'm not doing this now."

Shindou nodded, dropping his gaze to the board. The bell rang and they started their game.

The opening moves were standard and passed without any oddities. It was when they moved into chuuban that he could feel Shindou's hesitation in each hand, and Waya pushed hard against his weak stones, breaking Shindou's formations before he could make them.

He had thought this game would be difficult, but it wasn't. Before they ever got to yose, Shindou was forced to resign. Waya felt just a little smug.

Waya was about to get up to mark his win when Shindou said, "Thank you for the game. And for a whole hell of a lot more."

"Thank you for the game," Waya murmured.

By the time he'd stamped his win, Shindou was gone.

"How did it go?" Isumi asked when his game was finished.

"I won."

Isumi just looked at him.

"Not horribly, I guess."

"Are you ever going to forgive him?"

"Yeah. Maybe. I don't know."

"You have every right not to," Isumi said, but it sounded to Waya like he thought he should.

"I probably won't forgive Touya," he muttered darkly. "But Shindou..."

"Is your best friend."

"Was. Was my best friend."

The look on his face said he wasn't so sure about that, but then he slipped his hand in Waya's, right there in front of God and everybody, and Waya let himself be led out of the building, arguing the last thing on his mind.

"So, what is this we're doing?"

"...Playing a racing game?"

They were sitting on the couch, Waya leaning against Isumi, and he motioned to their bodies, causing his car to wreck.

"This, I mean."

Isumi set down his controller to give Waya his full attention. "What do you want it to mean?"

"Something. I want it to mean something. And not just to me."

The gaze Isumi levelled at him made his cheeks feel hot. "It does. And not just to you."

"I found out the hard way that it's important to be clear, and I want this. I really want this. But..."

"Waya." Isumi covered his hand with his. "I've wanted this for a long time. But I don't want to push you. I know that you're scared, and I'm willing to wait. Even if it never goes beyond what we have now, I'll be happy. One thing you never have to worry about is my sincerity. You had that long before this," he squeezed Waya's hand, "ever started."

The butterflies morphed into something bigger and he swallowed, his tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth. "Can I kiss you?"

Isumi inclined his head ever so slightly, and Waya brought shaking fingers up to slide across Isumi's face, the tips flirting with his hairline. He leaned in and Isumi met him halfway, gently pressing their lips together in a way that was unfamiliar to Waya. There was no haste or uncontrollable lust there, but it made his chest tight and his body tremble, and he went ahead and slipped his fingers into Isumi's hair just to feel the soft strands against his skin.

Waya ran his tongue across Isumi's lips, and Isumi let him inside, lightly caressing Waya's tongue with his own. He felt a familiar warmth spark to life in his gut, and suddenly his hands were everywhere, pulling at Isumi's shirt as he grinded against him.

"Waya..." Isumi said, and Waya trailed his teeth over Isumi's jaw line and down to his neck.

"Waya," Isumi said more forcefully this time, gently pushing him back so he could look at him.

"But I thought you wanted-"

"I do. I want this - I want you - but I think we're moving too fast. Just being here with you is enough."

Waya looked away. "I don't know any other way to show you how I feel."

"Just be here with me. If we jump right into bed, you might regret it, and I don't want you to regret anything about this."

"Isumi..."

Isumi pulled him close, and Waya just held on, feeling lost.

After that, there were kisses - lots of kisses - but it didn't go further than that, and Waya knew that Isumi was right, that he wasn't ready, and the fact that Isumi realized that meant more than he knew how to say.

And damn it, if he didn't stop running into Shindou every-freaking-where, he was seriously going to break something. Preferably Touya's face. No matter where he went, there he was, lurking in the corner, trying to look like he wasn't looking. But he damn well was looking, and most of the time, it made Waya want to scream in frustration, or maybe track down Touya and put his size ten Vans through his skull or something equally gruesome. He was seriously starting to think Shindou was stalking him, which he totally wouldn't put past him at all, the crazy bastard.

Sometimes though, he feels a pang of longing, because damn it, this thing with Isumi was still new and confusing, and he could really use a best friend to talk about it with. A couple of times, he even has to remind himself that he didn't have a best friend anymore when he sees Shindou's miserable face trying hard not to stare.

All in all, aside from the Isumi thing, Waya thought this was a pretty shitty situation to be in.

And then, and then, of all the fucking things that could have happened, the most unthinkable thing in the world came to pass.

Touya Akira actually had the balls to approach him.

"What. The fuck. Do you think. You're doing?" Waya said, gnashing his teeth so hard, he's kind of concerned he might break one of them.

Touya flushed a deep purple, but he didn't back down, and Waya could feel himself involuntarily squeezing his hands into fists. Maybe he could give Touya a scar to match Shindou's…

"Please forgive Shindou!" Touya suddenly blurted, and though it was more or less what he'd expected, the strain in his voice takes him a little by surprise.

"What I do or don't do is no business of yours," Waya snapped, and Touya dropped his eyes, staring at the tile in front of Waya's feet.

"I've never seen him this miserable. Except…" Touya said softly, breaking off at the end there, but there was no doubt about what he was referring to.

"What the fuck do you care, anyway? This shit is pretty much all your fucking fault."

"I know." There was shame in his voice, and when he looked up at Waya, his eyes glinted oddly, like he might just cry. "I'm the one who pushed him to do more than he wanted that day, so forgive Shindou!"

"It doesn't fucking matter who did what, you know. What matters is that he did it, and he fucking did it to me, and I thought he was my best god damned friend. He could have just fucking told me, and I'd have let him go. It's not like anyone in the whole god damned world really expected that he'd end up with me instead of you." Waya was using his hands to talk angrily, and he really had no idea why he was telling Touya any of this, except that he had kinda needed to get it off his chest for a long time, and Touya was there, forcing him to think about it, so Touya was going to listen whether he wanted to or not, because he owed him so much that if he tried for the rest of his miserable life, he'd never be able to break even.

"It just… hurts to see him in so much pain," Touya whispered, almost to himself, and Waya just about loses it, because if Touya wants to talk about pain, he'll fucking show him pain, and because he just wants to be upset with Shindou without thinking about what that means, and Touya was making that real damn hard just then.

Magically, he managed to keep himself from knocking Touya's teeth out or something, and managed to bite out, "Go the fuck home, Touya."

Touya looked like he might just be stubborn about it, but his eyes drifted to Waya's clenched fists and thought better of it, bowing to him so deep, Waya thought his nose might just be touching the ground. "I am deeply sorry for everything."

Waya actually cocked his fist back at that, but Touya was apparently smart enough to know to run after that, so Waya punched the wall instead. Then he kinda felt like a lunatic, since he was in a hallway at the Go Institute, and he really, really didn't need to give anyone anything else to talk about.

"Why would he come talk to me? Why?"

"For the sixth time, I have no idea," Isumi replied, trying hard to hide an amused smile.

"Don't laugh," Waya grumbled.

"I'm not laughing," Isumi said with a smile. "But you're being just a little melodramatic, don't you think?"

"No," Waya huffed, laying his head on Isumi's shoulder. "I shouldn't have to see him."

Isumi snorted. "You work together."

"Yeah, we should force him to quit or something."

"You're cute when you're indignant." Waya blushed, and Isumi tilted his head up gently to kiss him.

"He's not going to go away, is he?" Waya said dejectedly once they broke.

"No, he's not. Neither is Shindou. You'll have to figure things out with those two eventually." Isumi ran soothing fingers up Waya's back. After a moment of just sitting together like that, Isumi ventured, "Is it really still that bad?"

"No. Maybe. I don't know. I don't really think about it like I used to. I mean, it's not like I still want Shindou." Waya flushed. "I… I have you."

Isumi clutched Waya closer to him, sighing into his hair. "You do."

Waya let out an explosive breath. "It's more than that. You're more than that. I… I…"

Isumi made a soothing hushing sound. "I know. It's okay. There's no need to explain yourself."

Waya's heart lurched in his chest. "I think maybe I should lie down. I'm exhausted."

"You can use my bed." A pause. "Did you want me to come with you?"

Waya was ready to say no, that he really just needed to rest a little, but what actually came out of his mouth was, "Yeah. I'd really like that."

Isumi linked their hands together and led them to the bedroom, pulling back the blankets and sliding into the bed, scooting back to make room for Waya. They laid together in the middle of the bed and just held each other for a while. Waya thought he'd feel like they should be doing more, but he didn't. He felt comfortable. Safe.

The tension bled out of Waya with each of the small circles Isumi rubbed into his back, and slowly, his breathing evened out and he fell asleep.

Waya closed the door behind him and tossed his keys into the bowl next to the door with Isumi's, turning to take in the rearranged living room. Isumi was arranging a blanket of some sort when Waya realized it was part of something bigger. "Hey, when did you get a kotatsu?"

"I just got it today. It's starting to get cold, so I figured we could use one." Isumi was fighting with the blankets, and Waya moved in to help, bumping shoulders with him as they worked to flatten it out.

"Now all we have to do is test it out," Waya said with a grin.

Isumi smiled back. "Yeah, I guess so."

A flat goban was produced from a closet and perched precariously on the edge of the table portion of the kotatsu, and Waya and Isumi crawled under the blanket side by side, a goke on either side of them. It was awkward – they had to lean forward and stretch to place their stones – but it was warm and amicable, and Waya felt more at home here than he could ever remember feeling.

Home. It was a strange thought. He'd thought his little apartment was a home, but really, he'd still been living partly with his parents – doing his laundry there and grabbing meals whenever he had the chance. Being here with Isumi was different. Special, somehow. He used to look forward to going home to his own place, but now it just felt empty, like a hotel room he'd been living out of for much too long.

"We should move in together," Waya blurted out, and Isumi's eyes went wide. "I mean, you know, I'm always here anyway and… I just, maybe we could think about it?"

"That's a big step," Isumi murmured, his voice giving nothing away despite his initial shock.

"I know, you're right, it's too soon. Forget I said anything," Waya mumbled, staring at the board with blank eyes and red cheeks.

Isumi shook his head. "That's not what I meant."

Waya turned to blink owlishly at Isumi. "What?"

Isumi's hand cupped Waya's cheek, and when their eyes met, the depth of the concern Waya found there was like a physical blow. "I was going to ask you if you were sure, because there is nothing I want more. I just can't trust my own judgment on this. I want it too much."

Waya kissed him, long and hard and full of the overwhelming feeling swelling in his chest until he had no choice but to stop to gasp for air. His mind raced, trying to put that feeling to words, but it remained elusive, swirling and raging and storming inside of him. So instead, he simply said, "Me too."

Waya stayed over that night, clinging to Isumi right there on the floor, warmed by the kotatsu and their shared body heat.

In the morning, Waya went home to pack.