"Shizuo, tell me why you won't love me?" … "Dammit you stupid protozoan why do you hate me, what did I do?"

It all started with that, two years of hatred down the drain for a moment of a cracked mask that revealed it all. Orihara Izaya, the flea he'd promised himself to kill…admitted, for all to see, that he loved him. And for the first time ever. The blonde found himself trusting the raven's words as he slumped to his knees, his tiny, bony little arms covering his face trying to hide his shame. As hundreds of looming eyes burned holes into his frail shaking form…

He wanted to hit him, wanted to scream his words of hatred like every other day. But how could he? Not even he was that much of a monster. So with a sigh, he dropped the bin he held and made his way towards the raven on nervous legs; he remembered it too clearly, how they shook every step he took. Then how they simply gave out once he reached the raven;

"Damn flea…" taking the heavily sobbing male into his arms, the blonde let out another sigh "Don't cry…you look like an idiot…"

After that, both males were suspended for two weeks due to inappropriate actions on school grounds. Neither minded though, it gave them time to get to 'know' each other without the constant chill of demeaning eyes on their backs.

The blonde took it slow, not wanting to ever see that face again; tears didn't belong in his carmine red eyes. They were too pretty for such a painful blemish. He remembered to tell him this everyday as he ran his thumbs gently underneath the perfect orbs, silently noting the increase of the dark marks below them…


"You never answered my question you know?"

Looking up from the book he was skim reading, Shizuo let out a confused 'huh?'; a piece of ham hanging limply between his lips, too which Izaya smiled gently at. It was, kind of…cute…for Shizuo anyway.

"That day…when I asked you, why you hated me…you never gave me your answer."

As he spoke, the raven slowly slid down the wall and onto the floor; a curious wondering filled his bright red eyes as he watched his boyfriend like a hawk; waiting for him to make a move, so he could sweep him up, and into his nest with his razor like talons.

"Well?"

Shaking his head, the blonde let the ham fall to the table; "Well…I…I um…" lowering his face to the desk, Shizuo grumbled as he brought his arms up in attempt to cover it, though he was certain his ears where now a bright shade of pink to match his face…

"You have no idea do you?"

"…no…"

"Can I tell Shizu-Chan a secret?"

Feeling the hot breath above him, Shizuo's head instantly snapped up; his eyes widening as he pulled back; finding himself mere centimetres from Izaya's face. But as usual, the reaction didn't deter the raven, as he continued to lean in till his lips where practically brushing the blonde's ear, causing him to swallow thickly;

"You know…I never hated Shizu-Chan…I was just jealous of him…"

Raising a curious brow, Shizuo placed both hands on the smaller male's shoulders; pushing him back a bit;

"Jealous?"

"Shizu-Chan always had people to go to when things got tough…until now…I've had no one…"

Eyes falling into a sympathetic frown; Shizuo pulled the smaller male onto his lap, his arms wrapped protectively around him;

"Stop talking like that flea…you're not alone anymore…"

'…and you never will be again…'


Walking down the bustling street of Ikebukuro, hand in hand, Izaya had a big goofy grin on his face as he failed to fight the urge of giving their arms a light swing every now and then as they walked; thus earning a roll of the eyes from Shizuo as he tried to suppress a smile;

"If you keep frowning like that Shizu-Chan, you'll get wrinkles…or…maybe the wind will change direction, and it'll get stuck like that!"

"Crazy delusional flea…no such thing…"

Hearing the words, Izaya couldn't help but chuckle lightly as he leant his body into the blondes, instantly snuggling his cheek into Shizuo's broad shoulder; "Ah so warm~"

"I told you to wear a thicker jacket…damn it, how are we meant to have a nice day out if you're already cold?"

Pulling back, a heavy pout was evident on the males face as he stuck out his lip; "I'm not cold…Shizu-Chan is just so warm!"

"Your lips are turning blue flea…"

Putting his fingers in his ears, Izaya ran off ahead. His usual laugh passing his lips as he went; Shizuo's shouts of protest going unheard as both played dodge the humans.

Life truly was so much funnier with Shizuo in it…he couldn't imagine losing him. Before this, life was so meaningless, he was always alone. No one would ever give the time of day for him, and his parents simply saw him as a make money fast toy…

They didn't care how many times he broke…the paycheque at the end would always silence them…they never cared about him…

Coming to a halt the ravens eyes remained downcast; a hoard of painful memories creeping up and suffocating him. He hated this, he hated them…he…he hated himself…now he knew…

"Damn it flea, I'm so getting you a freaking lead and harness one of these days…I ca- Izaya…are you crying?"

Turning his head further away from Shizuo, Izaya gave it a brief shake; "I know now…"

"Know what?"

Making his way slowly into west side Gate Park, Izaya sighed;

"Why you hated me…Shizuo…there's something I need to tell you…but…"

Waiting for a reply that clearly wasn't going to come, Shizuo took Izaya by the wrist, and gently, but at the same time, firmly pulled him into his chest;

"It's okay flea…if you can't say it now, there's no rush…I'm not going anywhere. I promised I'd come out to see the first snow of the year with you…and I have no intentions of breaking that promise…"

Looking up at the blonde with tear filled eyes; Izaya shifted himself so he had his arms around the blonde's waist, his head resting comfortably on his chest. Simply enjoying his gentle heartbeat;

"I love you Shizu-Chan…"

'I promise'

"I love you too flea…"


Chapter 1 done. Yes the title will be explained eventually =)

'To Lie In Wait' is nearly finished editing wise x33 Looking forward to being able to post the updated chapters =)