A/N: Okay after so many requests to keep the story going I gave in and decided to add this bonus:D Thanks so much for the kind reviews I really appreciate it. The story was inspired by the song Fall Out by Marinas trench (some of the lyrics are incorporated in it) I hope you enjoy this bonus chapter!
Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail all rights reserved to Hiro Mashima
Pleaaaaaase Review!
"Everything reminds me of you…"
A year can go by in a wink of a second, you miss a lot, you may regret many things, made many mistakes, but as those things happens it also makes you the person you are today.
"I know you're fine but what do I do?"
The year went by slowly, but at the same time went by too fast for me to even comprehend. Has it been a year? Has it been a year since I heard that shocking confession? Did it take me a year to figure out what I wanted? Has it been a year for you to figure out your feelings as well?
The hell I don't know what I want now ever since that day I heard what you said, I was happy but at the same time hurt and disgusted. Is that even possible? Why did it end in just a Fall out?
This secret of me hearing this confession I kept it to myself, I thought it was no big deal and I should just be happy that you found peace. But guilt has engulfed me over those torturous long months. Is it bad to say I was really happy to hear you say that? Does it make me a bad person to reconsider my decision that I made 2 years ago? Am I that horrible, to feel rejected when I have everything a guy could ever ask for?
You don't make it any easier, "I'm on the edge while you're so god damned polite and composed.." How the hell do you do it anyway? I have no right to complain because you probably felt worse than I do. It's no wonder the guys started treating me differently when I started going out with Lissana, DAMN IT did everyone else know but me? WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T I KNOW LUCY….
"Lucy why didn't I notice?" well its okay, because you probably moved on in the year while I'm still confused about my own emotions. I don't deserve you, heck Ice princess is more worthy for you than me, and at least he can make you truly smile. If not him how about Hibiki? Loke? Heck even Laxus if you want! But at the thought of you in someone else's arms makes my stomach churn, as if someone kicked me really hard in the gut, and that person would most likely be Erza. Not that I don't mind, I deserve much more pain than that. I made you feel so alone and yet I was only a few feet away from you! If I can't notice as something as simple as that then its true that fate doesn't want us to be together.
You probably think I'm pathetic right now huh? You're a lot stronger than you let people conceive you to be, if you saw me right now you would probably say "Fight Natsu! Fight!" but damn I have no strength for that at all. My heart can't take it if you say those words.
" Don't tell me to fight, to fight for you"
I'm really a fool aren't I? If I think back closely I had that problem when I was trying to figure out whether or not to ask Lissana out. At that time I was so sure of my feelings for her, so confident and yet for some reason it kept tugging at the back of my mind; that you reject the idea. I only assumed that I wanted you to reject the proposal because you will be honest about it and tell me why I shouldn't, I had a slim of hope that you would say no; but as a surprising disappointment for me you didn't. You smiled and said that you were happy and congratulated me for figuring out my feelings. I only grinned at you but it felt forced and said that I wanted to be with Lissana forever and I'm glad you supported us.
Why the fuck did I do that now? DAMN I was lying to myself, I saw you less and less and instead of the relationship making me any happier like people said it would, I was consumed in darkness and you were the light. You shine so brightly when you smile do you know that? But you were gone; and then poof you disappeared out of my grasp.
As the months go by it had gotten easier, with the help of Lissana, she filled in that empty void that was inside my heart, I felt content, happy, and with just one touch from her I feel like I returned home. It's an amazing feeling and I still do feel that about her to this day. Yet that feeling is tainted with this new formed emotion about you; confusion, hurt, angst, guilt, and love. She shouldn't be in the need to be filling that void during the relationship; that should have happened before the dating started not during and especially not about you Lucy who is just a friend.
"Just a friend" those words taste bitter in my mouth when the thought of you comes into mind but what can I do? Its not like you love me still.
But you started to come back in my life during that period, as if you were never gone. These feelings for you that I seem to have now never surfaced back then until I was provoked and jealousy got into it.
Flashback
"Sorry Lissana but when I want to spend time with Lucy I just want to spend it with just us! Plus I don't want Flame Brain here to ruin my precious time with her!"
"W-WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY DROOPY EYES!"
"You heard me!"The young ice mage ran with the blonde celestial mage running behind with her face all flushed. Natsu instantly want to run after them for some reason, he wanted to snatch Lucy away and beat the crap out of Gray; he was really tense as he watched the two figures in front of him disappear. He didn't know what kind of face he was making but he probably looked peeved off, it surprised him when Lissana caught him off guard.
"Natsu are you okay?" she asks him worriedly. Natsu looks at her and scratches his head "I'm fine why wouldn't I be?" he turned his direction back to where Lucy disappeared.
"I d-don't know you just seem sad that Lucy and Gray left. A-and your fists were all clenched up and I just assumed that something was wrong," she said glumly.
Natsu looked at her and brought her into a tight embrace, remembering that there was girl who took the time to worry about him.
"No I'm fine. Lets go on that date alright?" she beamed at him "Yeah! Sure" she giggled and wrapped her arm around his. She seems content with his answer but then spoke at the wrong time "I never seen Gray so serious about someone. Don't he and Lucy make a cute couple?" she says in a sweet voice.
Natsu got tense but try to pull off his answer "I don't really care. If that's what's going on then so be it"
End of flashback
I saw that happy look you had when you were always with him, I hated him and just for that little reason. I mean you smile at everybody don't you? That's just who you are, but at the moment I had the cockiness to think that your smile only belonged to me. "Well now there's him and now there's me.."
Yet it confused me why he left suddenly after that day, I would assume that you would go with him but I had the feeling that you were caught off guard by his sudden disappearance. But honestly I was glad that he was gone, far away from you, I'm really a sick person because while I was happy you looked more depressed and sad that he was gone. That look on your face said it all, but was I there for you?
No not really.
I was scared to comfort you; I was scared to hear the answer on why you were the one that missed him the most. I didn't want to hear why you cried on that day. I just couldn't.
"I'm awake and trying…" Ever since I always noticed you, I always watched you, you don't even know. You weren't the same girl that I first met in Hargon, you weren't her and I desperately wanted to know what changed. You smiled less and we barely hung out. You didn't even get mad when I always barged in your apartment; you just gave me a noticeable forced smile and always make an excuse on why to leave.
That just makes me feel use less. Not only just you but also all girls in general are tougher than they look. Lissana was always there when I felt low, believe me I don't know how you guys do it. While dealing with the pain of not being with you Lissana picked up all my broken pieces. Is she hurting? I bet she was and knowing her she probably knew why I was so pitiful and acting this way. Is it possible to love two people at the same time? I think so but it's not possible to be in love with two people. I had to make a decision and wanted to get this feeling off my chest, even though I thought you didn't feel the same I wanted to so badly tell you my secret thoughts and tell you my final decision about them. That's why I followed you when you suddenly left the guild. I had the sudden urge to do so and I had to do it sooner or later.
You run pretty fast you know, running from place to place until you decided to stay at the park. I was out of breath but it didn't stop me from reaching you. It felt like you didn't want to be approached so I stayed back at a safe distance. I followed you to the lake and it looked like you were crying. I was about to come out but then you suddenly stood up. I panicked and went to the bushes, I didn't want you to see me and I wasn't ready for what I was about to say.
You were singing. It surprised me but you seemed to enjoy it, it was a beautiful song, saying that you're fully awake and that you were strong to move on.
Move on from what I asked to myself. It was getting quiet uncomfortable where I was but I tried not to make a sound and continued to listen to your beautiful voice sing. Then I realized you stopped, were you done? Did you notice that I was here? Then you caught me off guard with the words you said next:
"I might be a coward, but I just want you to be happy Natsu even if I can't have you. One day Ill find my true happiness and not just in my dreams but when I'm wide-awake. So..."
I suddenly had a chill and my heart was beating faster, so? Sooooo?
"I'm letting you go Natsu. Goodbye" and with that my heart dropped, my world gone into black, I was in a state of shock that I didn't even notice you left, I couldn't help but look at you in awe, you loved me all of along and I broke your heart.
"Lucy…"
.
.
.
.
.
Now here I am a year later, stuff at the guild has changed, Happy and Charle are going out, I hear Romeo and Wendy have a crush on each other but they both don't notice the other's feelings. Levy and the stupid Gajeel are planning to get married and everyone is getting ecstatic. Juvia is going out with Gray's weird friend what's his name Lyon? Yeah even she seems to be happy. Gray is back after his mission and it seemed you two are still close even though he made you cry. Erza doesn't hurt me as much but she gives me a knowingly look of pity.
Yeah I feel sorry for me too.
I'm still with Lissana and I just really wished that I didn't hear that sudden confession from you, my decision if you wanted to know was that I wanted to admit that I had feelings for you but I could only choose one; either you or Lissana. I heard that the person you love and that you're meant for should be the person that has made you into a better person. I first thought Lissana after hearing that but after hearing your feelings I still don't know.
But even if I figure it out and it happens to be you, I just want you happy whether or not it's with me or I was too late. That's how much I love you. To hope for your happiness because that's what you wanted for me. Even if were not together I will still love you regardless, I will learn how to deal with it and I have hope because that's what happened to you no?
I just wanted you to know, and I just wanted to let it all out before I close off my emotions for you. Have a wonderful life Lucy Heartfillia from your best friend/nakama Natsu.
"It's easy to say it's for the best…"
Okay THATS IT:P Well let me just explain why I did not make the pair end up together. Because well this situation is actually quiet common to most people and a lot of people go through it. Most likely it doesn't end like it does in a Fairy Tale (sorry I had to!XD) and eventually the two people who seem so right for each other end up moving on. But I just wanted to give you Natsu POV because I did hinted in the first chapter that he liked Lucy. I DO LOVE NATSU AND LUCY TOGETHER DON'T GET ME WRONG! but I wanted this to be a bit realistic :/ SORRY I'M HORRIBLE AREN'T I?DX BUT don't worry I will keep writing and write another Natsu and Lucy fic don't worry and they will indeed end up together:)
Special thanks to:
MarieGrace
Ksrjah
ilovenatsu1000
starlight
animewabbit
Katherine Evelueva2199
Thank YOU and review Please!