Hello this s my first Nalu fic! wahhh:( I did not like how this turned out but I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't finish what I started.
Thank you guys for the major support on my other fic Fluffed up Memories it turned out better than expected!
But i felt I need to give some love to Natsu no?XD Even though this fic has a somewhat sad and has a pessimistic ending:( booo but i love this song so i had to base it on these two lovebirds! hahahah
Please tell me how you liked it though!:D Review Onegai?
Disclaimer : all rights reserved to Hiro Mashima
I do not own Fairy Tail Please Review!:D
It's been months but the girl looked down, she couldn't take the emotions overwhelming her, the panging feeling in her chest grew more with pain as she sees the boy she liked- no loved having his arms wrapped around another girl. She knew it would happen but still couldn't believe it, it pained her to see the sight in front of her, as if it was just a horrible dream that she hopefully will wake up from. But he just kept on smiling his signature toothy grin and looked at his white haired friend lovingly, his eyes tell it all; she is the most precious thing in his whole world.
But it isn't Lucy.
The girl sighed with a defeated look on her face, her good friend and nakama had won the battle for the dragon-slayer's heart. As long as he is happy she didn't mind but she couldn't stop the tears from forming just wishing that it could've been her.
'No Lucy this isn't a dream. I'm wide awake'
She left the guild in a hurry, she didn't want anyone to notice her sadness, she just wanted the boy she loved be happy and not worry about her.
'I wish I knew then what I know now, so I wouldn't dive in and wouldn't bow down to this emotion called love' she hurriedly ran to her apartment, wanting to close off the world around her, to forget about him and to forget that she loved him.
She laughed 'What am I thinking?' even if she says that she can't just throw him away like that. Her heart is still beating rapidly and hot tears ran down her face, her breathing is out of pace that it's getting difficult to inhale. 'Gravity hurts now, he made it so sweet, till I woke up to this horrible dream'
Old memories start to cascade through her mind; the day they met, the days where he would barge into her apartment without her permission, forming the Team, the missions they spent together, him saving her dozens of times. She felt safe and happy with him, yet he hardly even tried.
Why is it that she is so drawn to this pink haired boy? Was it because he was her first friend she made in her lifetime? Was it that he knew had to make her smile? Is it that by just one glance he can make her heart beat faster but at the same time can shatter it to pieces? He caused trouble, always made things difficult, is thick headed and gets into a lot of fights. But he had good qualities to him as well, and in the end it outweighed all the flaws that he had.
She still kept running, now not knowing where she is heading to, ignoring the weird glances she kept getting, the girl takes another turn and heads towards the park. More memories flooding making it harder for her to concentrate, to escape from this invisible grasp he has on her.
'Yeah, I was in the dark, I was falling hard, with an open heart…'. The run wasn't making it any better, it was as if she was running down through memory lane, all the precious moments she had with him kept replaying right before her eyes. She indeed loved him and was in the dark of his feelings towards her. 'Did I even had a chance?' she thought bemusedly 'what am I saying? It was obvious from the beginning, there was no competition in the first place, she won his heart before I had a chance'
She stopped and collapsed on the ground, not having the willpower to get up, all her energy was drained. Yet the tears kept on coming and this time she felt relieved and let them out willingly. The sky was dark and night has befallen on the town, the stars twinkled but slowly vanished as a cloud blocked their view.
The blonde haired girl looked up and sadly smiled 'How did I read the stars so wrong? Even if many said we looked like we will be together I shouldn't have had false hope to believe in that dream..'
She didn't complain though, she knew that if maybe she confessed some things would have been different. 'If I didn't have a weak heart and confessed to him I wonder if he would looked at me like he looks at her'. The girl finally got up and started to stroll through the park wiping her tears.
She looked at her surroundings and just watched them play out, everything tranquil, quiet, and stunning. The park was a magnificent place to be at night, the lake glistening, the lights making the park twinkle, the stars that were coming out from their hiding spot just added to the magic. It was breathe taking.
The girl muttered sadly 'yet now its clear to me, that everything you see, ain't always what it seems. I'm wide awake, yeah, I was dreaming for so long". All those times it seemed that Natsu seemed to like her than more than just her nakama, the times she thought he understood her feelings, and all those times he talked about a girl that he feels he might be ' in love' with. All those times she thought that it could've been her, that it was her, he crushed her hopes down when he finally asked Lissana out.
"Tch" the blonde haired girl rubbed her temples to soothe out her tension, jealousy wasn't pretty but it couldn't be helped. All these emotions she have been harboring for months were on a verge to explode. More memories started to cram in her head.
FLASHBACK
"Natsu!" she yelled cheerily as she spots the pink haired boy accompanied by the blue exceed.
"LUCY!" he yelled back grinning like there is no tomorrow. He waved back slowing down his pace for her to catch up.
"Heading towards the guild?" he asks while Happy plops down on his head. She only smiled "Yeah it seems too weird not going to the guild at all!" she giggled.
The boy laughed "Yeah the guild feels like home.." he casually put his arm on her shoulder not noticing that it caused a slight blush.
"Yup"
They kept walking towards the guild laughing, and just having their normal conversations until suddenly Natsu stopped and looked at Lucy.
"W-what?" she stuttered now noticing the gap between them has gotten smaller and he is leaning down too close to her face. She was blushing madly 'W-what is he thinking? Is he going to k-kiss me?' she wondered in disbelief. But the butterflies in her stomach were making her queasy, she was getting excited. The girl slowly closed her eyes waiting for his lips to impact hers.
But it didn't happen.
Her eyes fluttered open; confused and disappointed she looked up to see the fire mage running his fingers through her hair, she looked away embarrassed.
"W-what are you doing Natsu!" she finally spitted out, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the position they are in.
He only looked at her, and raised his eyebrow "There was a flower petal stuck in your hair and I was just getting it out" he grinned and ruffled up her hair "Don't worry about it. "
He walked off ahead talking to Happy about fish while Lucy stayed back looking down, having her hand placed on her chest feeling the rapidness of her heart.
"You say to not worry, but I worry that I'm falling in too deep"
END OF FLASHBACK
"Even back then I felt I had a chance, I was so naïve". Lucy left her spot and sat on the edge side of a lake. She glided her hand across the water to see her reflection rippled. She decided to take off her shoes and place her feet into the water. The water was cool and crisp giving the girl a sense of feeling.
"I should've given up when I had the chance. I should've token up their offers. If I did I probably wouldn't feel this way." She hugged her knees as a sense of loneliness hit her; slowly she falls into another memory.
FLASHBACK
"Lucy please don't do this to yourself" a cool voice said desperately
"I-I can't just forget about him!" she cried. News on Natsu's and Lissana's relationship has been spreading around the guild, only been together for couple weeks and now everyone knows.
"You deserve better" he says as he runs his hand through his hair frustrated. 'WHY HIM? He just hurts her..' he thought.
"Even if you say that…then I wish …to not have the best at all!" her voice was shaking, she replied with the little amount of sanity she had left. She won't break down.
"LUCY YOU DO DESERVE BETTER! I don't care what you say! I swear I'm going to kick his ass for making you cry like that!" the man yelled, a vain now visible on his forehead, he gritted his teeth now holding his tongue before he can backlash more on the fire mage.
He loved her; he truly did and will do anything to protect her. She's his master.
Not only that but his friend as well. And it hurts him to see her this way, all caused by the man she loves.
But it's not him, the lion spirit, Loki. It's not you.
"Lucy I- I'm sorry" he suddenly said. Emotions are running loose, just one look at her and he won't contain himself.
"It's not your fault Loki" she softly smiled but it didn't fool him, she's still hurt, her eyes say it all. It's a matter of time before she can fix up the pieces.
"Lucy…Run away with me!" he blurted out, his face was a deep shade of pink, the girl looked at him wide-eyed and confused.
"W-what do you m-mean? I-I can't leave the guild!" she replied, her voice started to crack and was trembling. She honestly doesn't know what to do.
"Forgot about him. I can make you happy…I can PROTECT YOU and will never do anything to make you cry just please….please…Lucy" the boy looked away as he finished his last statement, his gut was telling him it was the wrong move but he didn't care. He wants the girl he loves to be happy.
"I-I'm sorry Loki….But I have to refuse" tears were spilling down her flushed face. 'Loki you deserve better'
"Loki I still love him… and I always will…. so I can't leave! My heart is just not ready…" she paused so many times but it took so much of her courage just to say those words, she was still in pain.
Loki only smirked and turned his back on her, trying to hide the tears that were desperately trying to come out "I see. So in the end he wins without avail. Tch Love is cruel.."
"Loki!"
"Sorry Lucy, I know we made a contract but I won't be available to assist you for a while"
"But Loki!" no she didn't want to lose him too, though she loved him differently he was still precious to her.
"Loki please don't leave" she bit her lip trying to refrain from crying so loud.
"Sorry but I can't please understand…just when I look at you…my heart hurts and I'm also in pain" he breathe out. "Bye…" he whispered and with that he disappeared with a magic dust trailing behind.
"Loki!" she cried, she collapsed on her knees not able to withstand her nausea. "Don't leave me" she whispered. Her eyes closed and all she saw was darkness.
END OF FLASHBACK
FLASHBACK
Lucy and Team Natsu had just completed a mission; only it was a bit different since Lissana joined the team. Though Lucy got quiet used to the love birds it still made her chest ache. Gray and Erza were the only ones that knew of her one sided love so they try to make her feel better when they can.
The girl has grown so close to the two mages that she didn't think they would end up being best friends especially Gray. Without even trying he can place a smile on her face and knows when she is feeling down. Is as if he can read her like an open book.
"Yo Lucy want to grab a bite to eat after we head back to the guild?" the raven haired boy asks calmly
She grinned, "Yeah sure it will be nice" she replied.
"Natsu! Lets go on date! I mean see even Lucy and Gray are going out after this" Lissana whined as she pulled Natsu's arm towards them. "Lets have a double date!" she added excitedly.
Lucy cringed and Gray noticed this, knowing that it will be painful for her to be out with Natsu and Lissana he grabbed her arm and started to run to another direction.
He looked back to see a dumbfounded Natsu with a hurt look on his face, and a confused Lissana. What really surprised him was Lucy's face response; she was smiling at him, having the face that said "Thank You". He grinned at her and yelled at his teammates from behind.
"Sorry Lissana but when I want to spend time with Lucy I want to spend it with just us! Plus I don't want flame head here to ruin my precious time with her!"
"W-WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY DROOPY EYES!" Natsu yelled in reply but the ice mage only laughed at him "You heard me right!"
xxxoxxx
"Thank you again Gray, I don't think I would be able to handle that if it happened" the blonde haired girl said as she took a few licks of her ice cream that Gray just bought.
"Its no problem Lucy! Anything for you" he coolly states while takes a bite out of his shaved ice.
The girl slightly blushed but looked down glumly 'yet it feels like I'm falling from Cloud 9, crashing from the high~'…she stopped walking and Gray wondered what was wrong.
"Hey you okay?"
"I-I don't know" she said softly and looked away "I just can't get over him no matter how much I try"
"What do you mean?" he asks inching closer, she took a step back a bit embarrassed to say the next part "I try to ignore him, say that I'm better off without him, that there are more fish in the sea, even tried looking at other guys" she uttered.
Gray was a bit puzzled at her statement but decided to do the unexpected and wrapped his arms around her shocking the girl "It doesn't matter how you feel now, time has its own way of healing wounds. It's going to be okay Lucy" he whispered as he gently patted the girl's head.
Lucy was locked into his grasp, her emotions were all over the place; her mind saying "Love him Lucy! He can make you forget!" but her heart just keeps repeating the same word that brings her much sadness "Natsu", the constant fight of her mind over heart has gotten tiring but she couldn't find the will to move.
"I hope you're right" she finally said breaking the silence.
"Lucy I.." he trailed off after letting go of her, the warmth he felt inside suddenly vanished after losing contact with Lucy's touch.
"I love you!" he blurted out, his face all flushed and his eyes looked determined.
"w-what?" the girl looked at the boy astonished 'Gray loves me?'
"I love you Lucy, I always had" the boy finally said.
"H-hehe you're joking right? No way in your right mind would you like someone like me" she responded as the heat started to run through her face.
"I wouldn't joke about something like this" he said a little harshly. Gray looked at her and sighed "You don't have to give me an answer I just wanted to let you know.."
She looked at him worriedly 'is that okay? I'm not sure of my own feelings right now' she looked glum and stared at the ground refusing to face gray.
"Demo Gray" the boy signaled her to stop raising his hand, he finally spoke "Meet me at our special place at 11 tonight. If you come then I know you accepted my feelings" he walked away graciously leaving Lucy baffled with her cheeks tinted pink. 'What do I do?'
Lucy ended up not going, she was going to at first thinking it was the right decision but on her way there she came across Natsu and Lissana sharing a kiss. It broke her heart instantly and she ran away from the scene. It's the next day and Lucy is heading towards the guild to apologize to Gray for last night. But to her dismay he was not there and found out that he took on a mission that could last for more than months.
"I'm worried for that reckless child" muttered the sad Master.
"Master" Lucy said quietly.
"Do you know Lucy? Anything that would have caused him to leave?" he asks her.
She looked down and bit her lip suppressing the urge to cry, but wasn't doing a good job as the tears roll down her cheeks "I'm sorry no"
End of flashback
Lucy stands up after the memories of the past slowly faded away. She looks out to the horizon sadly and took a deep breath. She breathed in the cool air and let out a sigh. She slightly smiled to herself as the beating of heart return to normal. A determination in her eyes as she spoke.
"I'm letting go tonight!~ Yeah I'm falling from cloud 9" she singed.
The stars twinkled as her voice was heard through the wind.
"Not losing any sleep
I picked up every piece
And landed on my feet
I'm wide-awake
Need nothing to complete myself, no
I'm wide-awake
Yeah, I am born again
Outta the lion's den
I don't have to pretend
And it's too late
The story's over now, the end"
There was some rustling in the bushes but Lucy ignored it continuing to sing out her feelings through this song. Her memories inspired her, feeling the lost, feeling regret. But she has made the decision 'I'm letting you go Natsu'
"I wish I knew then
What I know now
Wouldn't dive in
Wouldn't bow down
Gravity hurts
You made it so sweet
'Til I woke up on
On the concrete"
The emotions swept through after finally letting it out all that was bottled up inside of her 'I wish I did this sooner'. Her voice started to pitch higher as she sung the second verse.
"Falling from cloud 9 (it was out of the blue)
I'm crashing from the high
I'm letting go tonight (yeah, I'm letting you go)
I'm falling from cloud 9
I'm wide awake
Thunder rumbling
Castles crumbling
I'm wide awake
I am trying to hold on
I'm wide awake
God knows that I tried
Seeing the bright side
I'm wide awake
But I'm not blind anymore...
I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake"
She slowly smiled to her self as she starts to finish of her feelings for good.
"Yeah, I'm falling from cloud 9 (it was out of the blue)
I'm crashing from the high
You know I'm letting go tonight (yeah, I'm letting you go)
I'm falling from cloud 9
I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake"
She breathed out and smiled proudly at her accomplishment "I might be a coward, but I just want you to be happy Natsu even if I can't have you. One day Ill find my true happiness and not just in my dreams but when I'm wide-awake. So..." A mysterious wind blew causing the girl to smile knowingly to her self, she brushed her hair back to look at the pleasant view that only caused her sadness just moments ago "I'm letting you go Natsu. Goodbye"
The blonde girl makes her exit out of the park as she stares at the night sky once more, heading back to her apartment. The girl didn't realize that someone was watching her, his eyes brewed with sadness, his face was expressionless as he watched this girl leave. Maybe out of his grasp.
The salmon haired boy just watches the girl leave in awe after coming out of his hiding spot in the bushes.
"Lucy…."
How did you like it? the song was Katy Perry Wide awake. review!