The Year We Were Apart.

(Blaine's POV)

(August)

Dear Journal,

I just got home from dropping Kurt off at the airport. Burt's letting me stay at the Hudmel house for a few days in Kurt's room so I can get used to him not being here, but not being totally alone. I haven't stopped crying since Kurt walked through the gates seperating us until Thanksgiving. Burt and I had a good 10 minutes sobbing period where all we did was hold each other and cry, I cried because of how much I'll miss the love of my life and he cried because he little baby boy is all gown up. I want so badly to be just one year older than I am, then we wouldn't have to be apart like this. No matter how much Kurt tried to put on a brave face at the airport I knew that as soon as he got on the plane he started sobbing. He always feels like he has to be strong for everyone else, but sometimes I just wish he would let it all out.

I hate myself for feeling like this, Kurt is going to to New York to conquer his destiney! He didn't get into NYADA but that's okay because FIT and Tisch accepted him, and he admitted to me that he was glad that he didn't get into NYADA, he true passion is fashion and nothing can stop him from becoming one of the world's greatest designers. He's wanted this is entire life so I can't feel selfish, this is a two sided relationship and I have to support him in everything he does, just like I know he would support me if situatuions were reversed. Sometimes I just wish his dream was to be a mechanic like Burt or something he didn't have to be in another state to learn.

But I honestly don't know what I'm going to do without Kurt for the next 3 months. I spent everyday with Kurt because he is my everything. After school we would go for coffee and then we would go back to his house and study, which usually led to making out. Not that either of us were complaining. But now that Kurt's in New York I don't know what I'm going to do. Probably just sit in my room or Kurt's by myself binging on ice cream and crying over how much I miss my love. God I miss him.

We do have a plan for communication though, we are going to try to skype every night around 9: 30 because Kurt has a part-time job and will be working until 7 then he has to do homework and such, and I'll have Glee until 5: 00 then probably loads of homework too. Damn you AP classes! We're going to text as often as we can and we'll always call each other to say goodnight. That was our biggest and most important rule. It'll be so odd not sleeping next to Kurt. Most nights I either slept and the Hudmel's or Kurt slept at my house, so we had gotten very used to sleeping together. And now it feels like all the good things in my life have been ripped away and stomped on, and I was forced to watch.

My biggest fear though is that Kurt will find some one hotter, taller, more handsome, funnier, more athletic, nicer, more charming and just better than me. Then he'll realize he can do so much better than his stupid high school boyfriend whose stuck in Lima. And he'll dump me over skype because he can't make it back to Lima to do it in person. And then he'll live my happily ever after with some buff body builder and I'll be forever alone. And I'm crying again.

I don't know what I'm going to do without my Kurt, but he came up with this idea that we write in these 'journals' once a month to help us vent our feelings, then when we're both living in New York we'll let each other read them. I'm just hoping this year will go by quckly because it is really going to suck. I miss my Kurt!

-Blaine Anderson

(Kurt's POV)

(August)

Dear Journal,

I just got on the plane and I haven't stopped crying since I left Blaine behind at the security gate. People are starting to stare at me but I honestly couldn't stop if I tried. I don't know why I ever thought going to college in New York would be a good idea. It's your dream dumby! Oh yeah, my dream is to be away from my loving gorgeous just so I can attend FIT in New York. Blaine has always been supportive of me and I am glad of that, but their is some part of me that wishes he would have begged me to stay, then there's the part that's glad he didn't because if he had I would have stayed.

But it's probably for the better now that I'm on my way. I'm going to meet Rachel at the airport and she'll bring me to the apartment we rent together because I have no idea how to get there! She got into NYADA and I chose FIT so we decided on an apartment that was right between the two colleges. (And it's also the same distance to Julliard, where Blaine is applying and surely going to be accepted, so when Blaine comes to New York we won't have to move.) Rachel has a bedroom and I have my own bedroom, that will one day be Blaine and I's bedroom then their is a tiny living space and small kitchen that Rachel let me decorate when we brought our families to see the dorms in July.

We're up in the air now and there's no turning back. I'm listening to the playlist of songs Blaine recorded for me before I left. His voice is like an instant calm down for me. Everytime I hear it I can't help but be relaxed. That will come in handy when I'm studying like crazy for an exam. I can't believe that I won't be able to come home until Thanksgiving though, that 3 months away. I'm looking at my promise ring now and realising that through all the heartache and bed times that are surely right ahead of us, we'll be okay because me have each other and that's all we need. I need Blaine. Alas a fesh wave of tears.

I'm hoping that with all my school work and my part-time job I won't have to much time to be sad and depressed about being so far away from Blaine and home. But I'm worried about Blaine, he has a habbit of closing himself off when there's something bugging him and usually I'm the only one he'll let behind the walls he builds for himself. But without me there I just hope he moves on and lives his life, this year doesn't have to be all bad.

There will be a pretty much new Glee club and his classes should keep him interested. I may have black mailed Principle Figgins into putting him into all the classes I know he would like! And I made sure that Mr. Schue and Tina would call me at the first sign of him slipping into a closed off state. He was so strong today at the airport, only letting me see a few tears but I know that as soon as I left he was crying too. We are so dependent on each other that I don't really know if we will be able to make this year work. I just hope that in 1 year from now, Blaine will be sitting on this plane with me and we'll be talking about our plans for our future together. The one we always knew we would have. Jeez, I miss Blaine.

- Kurt Hummel

So? What did you think please leave me a review hopefully I will have the next chapter posted tomorrow or maybe even later tonight but now I have to go study for finals! Just an idea that popped into my head and figured I might as well start writing it to see if anything good will come out of this idea. So you be the judge and tell me if it's any good please!

-Hummel-Anderson