Firefly: A Half Of My Heart

Summary: Simon is hurt in a mission gone wrong and feelings are discovered.(Don't want to spoil anything)
Warning: Slash(Mal/Simon),angst,blood,set after the series.
Disclaimer:Not mine ,owned by the awesome Joss Whedon.

A/N: Probably won't be many chapters, as a warning chapters will be sporactic because i have 6 gcse exams this month.

He knew he had done it.
He knew he had protected Mal, I mean that's what doctors do they save life after life after life most of the time with little cost. He also knew that he would do anything for his Mei Mei.
And almost anything to repay the man who went out of his way to make them 'part of the crew'. Yes, they had a few fallouts and some punches were thrown but they both had grown on each other and Simon knew he had deserved (some of) the punches and he was in debt to the Captain, a debt that had to be paid. Yet he didn't know it would go this far. The young raven haired doctor had patched up the Captain nearly a few hundred times whether it was bullet wound or burn (a few swords wounds once) and it was never really that problematic. Shiny was the exact vocabulary Kaylee had used to describe how well he fixed people. He loved Kaylee, she was a beautiful girl, smart but he wasn't in 'love with her'.
She was great with his sister, like Inara, and he enjoyed talking to her but there was no spark because she could never be anything more than a lovely little sister to him. Unfortunately. Words are mostly empty in an apology and gratitude, so why use words when actions speak louder than them?

He'd only ever been shot once by that crazy maniac Early but that was his leg so it wasn't too painful and it was easy to instruct someone of how to get it out. And Zoe did a great job, not the best but good for someone with next to zero expertise in doctoring. Before now he would have said it was maybe the most painfullest thing in his life next to nearly losing his sister. Yet with this ...In the beginning it didn't hurt to much it just...stung. Probably the shock. He didn't fall down until 3 minutes after it happened. He stood there for three minutes not knowing completely that he had been shot!
As he lay on the operating table, strong hands pressing on the wound so he didn't lose too much blood, he wondered how he got here? And was it worth it? He knew he was hurt badly because his hearing was muffled all he could hear was slurred speech and only just could he hear River's screams which he generally knew were really loud. There was a ringing in his ears that made his head feel like it was going to explode. Soon he would pass out, his vision blurred the lack of sharpness, the inability to see fine detail scared him and the matter was made worse as his head was spinning, the silhouettes above him were spinning. The young man wondered that if he passes out would he ever wake up again? He is the only doctor on the ship; Mal had made that apparent once before and that no one else could do his job. He chuckled at that, blood spluttering out his mouth and falling onto his chin and chest as he did so. His father wanted him to become a respected doctor and he did even though saving his sister cost him a high position in a hospital he was still in a high position on the ship, Serenity. As I result he got many voices at once telling him to 'just breathe'. The notion of never breathing again scared the young man to the point he began to struggle whimpering as he did so. And then ...he was gone. Out of consciousness. Dark. Wondering what's the last thing you notice before you die? Is it a concept, a thought, a fact, a revelation? Is it some fantastic, ground-breaking epitome? Or is it simpler than that? Is it something you see, hear, taste, touch, smell?

Mal sat with his head in his hands as his knees reached his chest whilst he sat on the cold metal stairs.
"Why me?" He questioned tears threatening to escape his blue eyes. He'd had many disagreements with the challenging doctor but he was a trophy to have on the team, always there when needed(well except when he was kidnapped but that didn't end badly) Jayne came over to the Captain and placed a hand on his shoulder gently squeezing for some sort of comfort, an emotion he wasn't very good at. Jayne still felt guilt from what happened on Ariel, the doctor hailed him a hero when he was the reason he needed to be rescued but he felt...some sort of relief when the doctor stayed and 'forgave' him he was actually scared to lose him, he had grown quite attached to the smaller man . Kaylee was on the sofa crying her eyes out her small hands grasping at the pillows fabric as she gasped for air. The heartache she received when Simon didn't return her feelings was nothing compared to thought of losing him forever. Inara was trying to comfort her, she had never connected with the doctor except when Early invaded and she saw the determination in his eyes. River had wandered off, rambling some riddle no one understood, with the Shepherd closely following after her with his bible in hand reading a passage to do with death and closure. Wash was in the control room trying to get to the nearest rock with a usable doctor (fast) and Zoe was in the infirmary tending as well as she can to the young man. She was not fond of having to operate on the doctor a second time especially this time when he wasn't conscious.

The mission was a simple trade. Get in get out. Simple money. But when the mission went awry (as it always does) everyone retreated to Serenity, Wash already having her heated up and ready to go but the enemy followed hot on their trail and even though the doors to the bay were closing one lucky shooter was able to get a bullet through. Simon was intelligent not as intelligent as River but still a genius and when they look back the may say that is the reason he saw it coming or they may say that this wasn't a moment of intelligence but one of stupidity. The upside to Simon act of heroism is that the Captain wasn't hurt and to Simon he was 'irreplaceable' and 'more important' to the crew. The downside...he was wrong. The crew didn't want to lose either of them, both of them were irreplaceable, both had qualities, personalities and talents you could find in no other.

Everywhere was silent the only noise was the large metal bay doors closing which echoed throughout the big hollow ship. Simon stood loosely in front of the Captain his hand on his stomach, covering up the bullet hole and the blood that was seeping out. Every one breathed a sigh of relief believing that everyone was safe, that no one was hurt. No eyes saw the bullet penetrate the young doctor through his back. The bullet that was meant for Mal. They were all about to get back to their duties when River began to spout nonsense.
"You gave up everything you had. Don't be afraid. Mal. Bad in Latin" She said in her usual high pitch voice towards her brother whose eyebrows were furrowed in confusion and pain her eyes looked everywhere put at her brother before she skipped off in her huge combat boots. "Fluids" she shouted before she sat down on a crate. It confused Simon the way she reacted, did she not fear for his life? Would she not miss him? She would but at the very moment it began she wasn't lucid.
"Why'd she say my name? Why am I bad-What is she on about?" Mal asked quickly with one eyebrow raised. Nearly everyone shrugged. Jayne was ignoring everyone now and went to his weights. Inara was at the top of the metal stairs trying to figure out what was going on with the young girl. Whilst everyone else was in the cargo bay question the nonsense River has spewed from her lips.
"What's the matter River?" Kaylee laughed as she picked up her tools that River had messed up before the trade. River babbled in gibberish for a moment before Simon spoke calming words in her ear.

The next thing happened very quickly. Simon stared into Mal's eyes and smiled his million dollar smile that hardly anyone got to see lately. Mostly because of his insomnia which was caused my River but he wouldn't admit it. And then...the young doctor with his arms grasping his stomach tightly collapsed to his knee's causing a very loud bang as his knee cracked on the metallic grate. Eyes widened as blood soaked over Simon's pale white hand. Blood over flowed out his once light pink lips which were now stained ruby red. He choked droplets flew everywhere the majority in his hand as he covered his mouth. Mal was the first to rush over to him catching him before he fell and smacked his head off the floor, permanently marking his pretty porcelain doll like face. Mal cradled him in his arms before he swiftly picked him up bridal style and carried him to the infirmary. Chanting that he will 'be alright'.

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Thank you for reading. I hope it was alright.