Blood thirsty: Okay… I'm sort of new at the fandom of LoK, so if there are any errors, please tell me; but not too harshly!
Legolas: Hey… then what am I doing here?
Blood thirsty: You're my muse! I always have you here! Now meet your new friend!
*Blood thirsty drags Kain in *
Legolas: Wha- who- ahhh!!!
Kain: * blinks * What exactly am I doing here with her?
Blood thirsty: -.-;;; that's a he… and you're my new muse!
Legolas: Does that mean I can go?!
Blood thirsty: … no.
A/N: Okay, there is one for every fandom, and I apologize if this has already been done here, but the idea manifested itself into my head, and won't leave. I own nothing aside from the plot (I might not even own that).
A family, of what looks like 8, walk down Maple Street of any random city. Every city has one. They approach a nice, perky white and light blue house with a 'sold' sign on it. What appears to be the father looks at the house with a satisfied smile on his face.
Kain: We've finally found the right house! Well kids, what do you think? * He turns to look at the six teens *
Raziel: Isn't it a little too… what's the word… preppy for a group of vampires?
*Suddenly, Ariel pops up, holding a 'welcome' mat. She looks at them and looses the housewarming look she had on her half-face.
Turel: Hey! Since when did was the ghost aloud to leave the Pillars?
Ariel: * eyes narrow * I prefer the term spirit. And what the hell are you doing here?
Kain: Our back yard seems to have the Pillars in them, so technically, we came to her…
Ariel: Then leave!
Kain: Ah ah ah… * waves his finger in a taunting manner * I've bought it. You'll just have to live- erh… unlive… or, whatever it is you do, with us.
Ariel: Well I wouldn't have to if somebody didn't damn me to the Pillars…
Turel: Both of you shut up! Ariel, no one likes a grudge holder, and Dad, don't be such an ass.
Kain: Yeah Ariel- Hey! I am most certainly not an a- * Kain is cut-off by Zephon. He snatches the keys from Kain, and races to the house *
Zephon: Last one in's a rotten mortal!
*There is a mad dash for the door, and they wrestle in, leaving a stupefied Ariel floating in the middle of the sidewalk.
Once in the house, they look around to see what their father has bestowed upon them. It looks like a 70's house gone wrong. Striped flower wall paper peeled off the walls in odd places, along with brown carpet and flowery drapes on every window*
Kain: * looks around * Well, it's definitely a fixer-upper.
Rahab: Uh, the Pillar of Balance is kind of in our kitchen…
Melchiah: Well, this 70's freak show is built on the base of the Pillars…
* They all look around, trying to decide whether to ask Kain for a new house or just move out. Raziel breaks the silence *
Raziel: Now we get to decide on the bedrooms!
Ariel & Kain: Master Bedroom! * They shoot dark glances at each other and enter into a staring contest *
Turel: Well, if you two can't decide, I guess I get it! * Grins and heads up the stairs *
Melchiah: Not if I get there first! * He proceeds to tackle Turel to the floor. While they are busy wrestling, Raz takes it upon himself to settle the bickering *
Raziel: Heh, guess that mean's it's mine! * Prances nimbly up the stairs until Kain makes his voice heard *
Kain: The master bedroom is mine! I am the father of the house! * His eyes narrow dangerously *
Ariel: I was here first! I get the master bedroom!
*The two glare at each other again, until Rahab intersects *
Rahab: Dad, why don't you two share? I mean, Ariel is then motherly figure here, and you are the dad. So it makes perfect sense.
*They all stare at Rahab in awe, until Raziel shakes his head *
Raziel: Whatever. Since I'm Dad's favorite kid, I get biggest room that's not the master.
Melchiah: That's not fair! You're not his favorite! * Looks at Kain * He's not your favorite, right?
Kain: * Clears his throat * Well, erh, why don't you six figure out who gets what room. You'll have to share, anyway.
Ariel: Does that mean we have to?
Kain: Nope. I get the Master, you'll share with… * starts looking at the six vampires, busy arguing about who gets what room * Eany, meany, miny, moe! Raziel, you'll share with Ariel.
Raziel & Ariel : What?!
Kain: You heard me, now start sharing!
Ariel: They're your kids! You share with them!
*Kain and Ariel proceed to fight, along with everyone else in the entire house until the doorbell is rung *
Dumah: * He is currently in a headlock from Rahab, but breaks free and races to the door * I got it!
Kain: * he grabs the scruff of Dumah's neck and pulls him back * I think not! I am the man of the house, so I get to answer the phone, door, and anything else that rings.
*Kain then opens the door to greet the guest. *
????: Hello! I guess you're the new neighbours. I'm-* he stops dead and looks absolutely horrified.
Kain: Moebius?!
Moebius: Kain?!
*Moebius drops the tin of cookies he had brought over, and stands frozen in the spot *
Kain: What the hell are you doing here?! Why didn't Ariel tell me you lived here!?
Moebius: Because I've never visited her! What the hell are you doing here!? I was here first! And why in sweet God's name are you living in a 70's dump on Maple street?! * he peers past the fuming Kain into the house * Family troubles? * he grins slyly *
Kain: Yes, and neighbour trouble by the looks of it… * Before Kain has a chance to lunge at the Time Streamer, Ariel floats through the door *
Ariel: Why hello Moebius. Fancy you bringing cookies for your new neighbours…
Moebius: What?! You weren't supposed to know I lived next door!
Ariel: * rolls her eyes * Oh come on, I may be blond, but I am most certainly not blind. You're the one who always tries to spy on me.
Kain: Great. A peeping tom for a neighbour. What else could go wrong?
*Right on cue, a loud popping sound is heard, then the rushing of water. Ariel, Moebius and Kain look in, and see the kitchen sink spurting water from a broken pipe, along with Zephon writhing in pain, clutching his arm *
Kain: * In a dangerously soft voice * Who… broke… the… sink…? * His yellow eyes dart from one of his son's to the next, and of course, they all point to one another; well, except Zephon, who is holding his scolding arm, trying to avoid the spurts of water. Moebius smirks and exits silently *
Ariel: I have to live with these… these morons?! Why couldn't Kain have damned me to something else… * she holds her head *
Blood thirsty: Will Zephon's arm be saved? Will Kain kill them all? Will Ariel go postal? Will Moebius be his usual scheming self? Find out next time, on-
Legolas: Enough with the cheesy so-called 'tension'!
Kain: No kidding! It's giving me a headache. And we all know Moebius will be the same old fart we know and love-to-hate.
Blood thirsty: Fine… see if I care… Anyhoo, readers? Please be kind and review… Try not to flame too badly, I burn easily. Plus I have a sweet tooth for revenge! Mwa haha!