Saix/Roxas

Hurt/Comfort


Written for Mog's KH Shipping Challenge.

Author's Note: I suddenly got the inspiration to write this while I was RPing as Saix with an actual Roxas. Normally, I dislike even the idea of the pairing but for once, I was like, "Hey, I can work with this. I can make this work." And so here it is. Enjoy.


Saix stood staring passively at the blank white walls of the room. His back was turned to the only other occupant in the room. He'd never taken into account how tall these ridiculous rooms in Castle Oblivion sometimes were. This room was no exception, as it was a tower room. Remembering it was a tower room reminded him of his purpose, his reason for being here. With a silent sigh, he turned back to face the other captive being held here against his will. The younger, shorter blond stared at him with a mixture of wary apprehension and apathetic dislike. Honestly, Saix wasn't the least bit surprised to see that look on his face. He wasn't popular with the other members, he knew that, and to Roxas he must seem to be more jailer than fellow victim. He had no intention of correcting him on this misconception. The events leading up to these unfortunate circumstances came floating back to him, as if they were fragments of pleasant dreams instead of memories that fed his chagrin.


Seven days earlier…

Saix sought out VIII, Axel, the most likely of the Organization members to know what had happened to the missing XIII, Roxas. He hadn't once forgotten their childhood friendship or the vow they'd made before they fell. He'd silently been working from the shadows, staying close to the Superior so he would never suspect the betrayal. No, he hadn't forgotten but he had changed. What's more, he'd noticed Axel had changed. He said he hadn't but he had, he'd pulled away from him, pushed away the memories they shared one by one. He tossed them aside without a care, exchanging them for new memories without a thought to how Saix might feel about this. Finding himself loosing his best friend to another, to this Roxas, Saix had taken the non-existent feelings he should have had on him. Resent, anger, betrayal, frustration, none of it actually existed but the further Axel pushed him away, the more the emptiness inside of him began to ache. He longed for a salve, some kind of potion that would bring relief to this aching nothingness he felt but none came. So he gave Roxas mission after mission, keeping him busy in hopes that Axel would eventually remember he existed. It hadn't worked. Instead, he'd gotten to see a side of Roxas he wasn't sure the other members were aware of, his resilience, his ability to hold out against all odds. Like a wounded dog finding a friendly hand, he was drawn to that ability. He wanted that ability, craved it, envied him for it.

Spotting Axel, Saix brushed aside his thoughts about the youngest member of the Organization. "VIII. Have you seen XIII?" He spoke coolly, not a flicker of emotion crossing his expression. He'd tossed away that ability when he found he no longer would have a chance to use emotion. He was trapped, chained irrevocably to the Superior's side now. He saw the flicker of emotion on Axel's face, in his eyes, and noted how much more expressive he was becoming the more time he spent with Roxas. It was as if he was seeing Lea, his dear friend, slowly coming back to life. Nevertheless, that life wasn't for him anymore. The emotion he'd seen was a spark of anger followed by protectiveness. Axel wanted to keep his new life to himself, away from Saix. Saix was no longer needed or wanted in his eyes.

"The kid? I dunno. You sent him on a mission, remember? Shouldn't you know where he is? I'm beginning to think your slipping, Saix. That isn't like you." Axel taunted, flashing his trademark 'got it memorized' grin.

Saix didn't respond other to give him a dismissive nod. It was true. He was slipping in his responsibilities. That wasn't like him at all. He needed to stop paying attention to Axel. He needed to stop watching Roxas. He had to get back on track. That thought in mind, he continued to walk away. He didn't see Axel watching him, didn't realize that he was the one putting up the walls he wanted so desperately to be torn down.


One day ago…

Roxas was still missing. Saix decided that one or two days could be ignored but nearly a week had passed since his disappearance. This was unacceptable. If he was goofing off, he would need to be punished. If he was on the run, he needed to be found. If he had betrayed the Organization, he needed to be eliminated. He wasn't dead. Saix knew that much, even without checking the Proof of Existence room. He knew without knowing how he knew that Roxas was alive. He had to be alive, he couldn't be dead. That thought made him pause and he considered it in his head, mulling over the words. Yes, that was what he believed. For some reason he couldn't explain, for reasons he didn't want to put a name to, he needed Roxas to be alive. He looked over the roster but most of the Organization members were out on missions and he couldn't trust the few left behind with a mission such as this. It looked like this burden would fall to him, then. He considered for a moment telling the Superior but decided against it. He was busy conversing with the moon. It was best not to disturb him with such inconsequential things as this while he was in one of his moods. Summoning a Corridor, he stepped through and left Castle Oblivion.

He stepped out into Twilight Town, wondering where he could find Roxas. He searched all over the world for him, looking in every shop and down every alley but found no trace of the boy. Frown deepening, he wondered where he could be. He moved on to Port Royal, Country of the Musketeers, Halloween Town, Olympus Coliseum, and even the Underworld. There was no trace of him anywhere. He couldn't find him and that was disconcerting. He traveled next to Traverse Town. He had an inkling he should have tried there soon but he ignored that. He didn't send Roxas on any missions that included Traverse Town. Yet it was here that he caught a glimpse of him nearly an hour later. He quickly advanced on the blond, taking into account his appearance was quite ragged and he looked injured. He was ordering two sea salt ice cream bars. Just as Saix had thought, he had come here to meet Axel. Axel, however, had been sent on a three-day mission ago two days ago and wouldn't be back until tomorrow. Clearly, Roxas wasn't aware of this fact. He strode over to him, an imposing figure, and the young Nobody nearly dropped his ice cream bars at the sight of him.

"We need to return to the Castle." He told him shortly, reaching for his wrist. Roxas, however, evaded his grasp.

"I, I can't. Not yet. I need to meet Ax…someone here." Roxas objected.

Saix crossed his arms. "Axel isn't coming. He's currently on a mission."

Roxas frowned but he wasn't giving up, even if Saix seemed to know about their secret ritual. "The ice cream's going to melt. I need to eat it."

"You intend to eat both of them by yourself?" Saix cocked an eyebrow, clearly disbelieving.

Roxas scowled at him. "Unless you intend to help me finish them, yes."

Saix considered for a moment. He reached out and before Roxas could object or evade him, snatched a sea salt ice cream bar out of his hands. As the surprised Nobody looked on, Saix put it in his mouth, eating it slowly. It had been a long time since he'd eaten one of these ice cream bars and even longer since someone had shared one with him, even unwillingly. After watching him for a minute, Roxas reluctantly began to eat his ice cream as well. It was a strange sight, or at least it would appear so to anyone who knew them. They were not 'friends' they didn't even get along, merely existed in the same world. Yet here they were, eating ice cream together, both apparently at ease with the other's presence. The gnawing emptiness inside him closed a fraction, the nothingness of his missing emotions forgotten for a time. In silence, they ate their ice cream. Saix finished first and looked at his popsicle stick. It was a winning stick. He had no use for it and was about to throw it away when another thought occurred to him. He held the stick out to Roxas for him to take. Wide-eyed, Roxas accepted the stick and quickly finished his own. He let out a chuckle when he realized he also had a winning stick.


That had been yesterday. When they finally returned, the Superior had been furious. First, he had taken out his anger on Roxas, lecturing him for all to hear about his recklessness and how not doing his mission properly had prompted such an unnecessary waste of time. He chided him, saying that as a full-fledged Nobody, he shouldn't need someone holding his hand. Saix had seen the cold look in the Superior's eye, however. It was not toward Roxas, who was bearing the brunt of his wrath, that the Superior was truly angry with. When he was done with his lecture, he asked that Saix join him for a debriefing. Knowing full well this meant he would be getting a lecture for his ears only, Saix had agreed. He'd been reprimanded for leaving the Castle. He was not to leave, not ever, not under any circumstances. He was to stay in the Castle, by the Superior's side, always. If he understood, he had to swear an oath he would not do such a thing ever again. Knowing he was giving up the last of his freedom but finding his hands tied and unable to find a way out, Saix swore.

That night, he and Roxas had been given their punishment, although no one knew he was also being punished. The Superior hand merely instructed that Saix take Roxas to one of the towers and stay with him there until they were called for again. He explained he would seal Roxas's ability so that he couldn't leave the power, giving a meaningful look at Saix. Once he closed the Corridor that would trap Roxas in the tower, he too would be trapped there. Feeling Roxas's glare as he considered what to do next, Saix looked him over. After a moment, he pulled a potion out of his coat and tossed it at him, since he still hadn't had a chance to heal himself. Roxas had finished the potion just as a Corridor opened. Out stepped Axel, glancing warily at Saix.

"Psst. Roxas. I just heard what happened." He hissed out, as if he wasn't in full view of Saix and whispering somehow made him invisible.

Roxas glanced at Saix but Saix just looked at them passively. He didn't have his powers. He couldn't do anything about this. Surely the Superior had taken this into account, meaning this was probably yet another part of his punishment. When he made no sign to stop either of them, just continued to lean against the wall, Axel took this as permission to bail Roxas out of his punishment early. He grabbed his arm and tugged him toward the Corridor before Roxas could even think of something to say. "Come on. Let's go before big, fierce and blue changes his mind." Without a backward glance, the two of them left. Saix waited for the Corridor to close before he finally moved. Stretching out his legs, he moved toward the small bed in the corner of the room and sat down next to it, leaning his back on it. Now, to wait.


Hours later…

Saix was staring at a window high up in the tower. He was a bit chilled but he wasn't yet ready to wrap himself in the blanket. Besides, his pride would never allow it should someone catch him like this. He wondered for the dozenth time who the Superior would send to rid him of his punishment and finally decided III, Xaldin, was the mostly likely choice. If the Superior didn't come himself.

"I'm telling you, he wouldn't still be here." A familiar voice pulled him from his contemplation and Saix turned his head, mildly surprised to hear Axel's voice full of irritation. But there it was, visible even in this night, an open Corridor tunnel.

"I'm telling you, it's weird." This voice he also recognized. Roxas. Now shock clearly showed on his features as he watched two figures make their way to the Corridor's exit. "He wasn't there at dinner. And he didn't try to stop us earlier. I think-"

Roxas stepped out of the Corridor first and gestured triumphantly towards Saix. "See, I told you. He's still here."

Axel looked majorly annoyed at the sight that greeted him. "Great. Look, the kid's not going to-"

Saix turned away when Axel launched into his speech. "If you want to leave, do so. I won't stop you."

Axel made a face, something between displeasure, disbelief, and concern. "Then why don't you make a Corridor already and leave? Like I said, he's done with his punishment. Even if you wait here, he's not finishing it out."

Saix didn't say anything, just sat there waiting. He wasn't even sure what he was waiting for anymore. He just knew it was important, that this would change something.

"You can't leave." It dawned on Roxas first. "That's why he, why the Superior kept looking at you. You're being punished too."

Axel scoffed. "What? Why would he be punished?"

"I left." They both looked at him but Saix had resumed looking at the window, curious if he would be able to see anything from this angle.

"Left? Left where?" Axel demanded, getting irritated by Saix's attitude.

"You came and got me." Roxas said softly.

Saix turned to regard them, his expression passive again. "I am not allowed to leave the Castle." He confirmed.

"Is this because you spent hours looking for me?" Roxas walked over to him and crouched beside Saix, Axel momentarily forgotten.

Saix gave him a steady look. "I am not to leave for any amount of time. That I was gone for so long on top of leaving at all greatly angered the Superior."

Roxas's brow furrowed. "Then… When we were leaving earlier, why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you ask us to help you, ask to come with us."

Saix looked away, tilting his head back and allowing his eyes to slide closed. "I am not to leave the Castle and I disobeyed that direct order. Was I to disobey another order and leave here as well? I cannot leave."

Anger, although a false emotion in place of real anger, coursed through Roxas. "You don't deserve to be in here. You can leave whenever you want to. Come on." He grabbed Saix's hand and tugged it, getting to his feet.

Saix's eyes opened and he looked at the small hands clutching desperately around his larger hand. Slowly, his fingers curled around the hand gripping his and he allowed himself to be tugged to his feet. Axel didn't spare a glance in his direction, just let out a frustrated growl and muttered something about 'idiots' under his breath. He stalked through the Corridors ahead of them. Still firmly holding his hand, Roxas led him through the Corridors and out of the tower. Saix followed, if not meekly at least almost humbly, after the smaller Nobody. When they reached the other side, Axel was no where to be seen. Roxas reluctantly let go of his hand and scratched his cheek. "Thanks. For coming to find me, I mean."

Saix nodded once, although a part of him also wished to thank Roxas for the same thing. Instead, he glanced down the hall where he could sense Axel impatiently waiting for Roxas. He looked back at Roxas and gave him something akin to a small smile. "The ice cream was good." That said, he turned and walked away. He had paperwork to do and reports to go over, missions to assign and folders to file. Behind him, Roxas called out a goodbye to him.

"Next time I go on a mission, I'll bring you back a sea salt ice cream bar."

Suddenly, Saix was looking forward to assigning missions.