Tessa opened her eyes to a black, starry night. The moon hung low on the horizon and glancing down Tessa noticed that she was still wearing the dressing gown she had gone to sleep in that night. As the wind whipped loose strands of her hair around her face, Tessa shivered and silently wished she had worn something warmer. Tessa looked down and noticed that her feet were bare and she was standing on a small stone balcony that overlooked a vast garden. Something about the scenery seemed familiar to her but before she could contemplate anything further, the sound of a door opening behind her caught Tessa's attention.

Will.

Closing a pair of French doors behind him, Will walked to the furthest side of the small balcony and looked out upon the garden below. He did not seem to notice Tessa standing a mere five feet away from him, barefoot in her dressing clothes. Tessa noticed that Will was dressed in the stark black and white dress clothes he had worn to the Lightwood masquerade ball a few days earlier. The ball, Tessa thought. Memories of a spider shaped crystal chandelier and fizzy lemonade swam into focus behind Tessa's closed lids. She recalled dancing with Nate in Jessamine's ivory dress and the gold domino mask she'd wore. The balcony she and Will were on was attached to the Lightwood estate. The scene before her was familiar because it had already happened.

Tessa realized she was dreaming.

Yet, this dream did not feel like a dream—it felt too alive and real, as real as the coldness in her toes and as real as Will across from her. Tessa reached up and felt her own cold cheek. She could feel her fingers there, but somehow she did not feel completely whole. Tessa knew her feet were firmly planted on the ground but she felt light, as if she could blow away with the wind if she allowed herself to. A wave of familiarity washed over Tessa again and with a start, she realized this was what it felt like to be suspended between herself and the Change.

Tessa drew a shaky breath. This feeling was not uncomfortable, but she knew she was not stably Tessa, and she was not sure how long this oddly conscious dream would last. She looked to Will, who was still enthralled with whatever lay over the edge of the balcony's railing. For a moment, Tessa wondered if perhaps Will was also as "awake" in this dream as she was. The thought of having Will alone with her in this semi-conscious dream state made a faint blush color her cheeks and Tessa silently chided herself for thinking in such a way. Such thoughts were improper for someone in her situation and Tessa knew she needed to push Will from her mind. Yet, Will's arrival in her dream piqued her interest. Curiosity getting the better of her, Tessa took small step forward and whispered, "Will."

For a moment, there was only a heavy silence that hung between them and Tessa wondered if perhaps he had not heard her. But before she could speak again, Will turned to look at her. The wind blew softly through his dark hair in a way that made Tessa's heart ache. All of what had happened in the last few days had been so confusing, Tessa thought. Her heart was utterly torn between the love of two men, neither of which she could bear to hurt. Yet, she had already hurt one of them hadn't she—she had hurt Will. The expression on Will's face when she had explained to him that it was too late for them haunted Tessa every time his eyes met hers. Every time his arm accidentally brushed hers her body seemed to tingle with forbidden electricity that made Tessa blush with shame. She oughtn't feel anything for Will, it was wrong, and she was engaged to be married. To Jem. Jem is my greatest sin. How true those words rang with Tessa now. Jem, the kind and gentle boy who loved her, and who loved Will. Tessa could not fathom his disappointment had she denied his request because Will had spoken to her first. And she could not let herself think what she would be doing had it been Will who had proposed first.

Tessa could go around and around in her mind with decisions she made and did not make but the whole thing was beginning to give her a headache. Will's light laughter broke Tessa from her reverie. Tessa snapped her head up to look at him and she realized how his eyes slid shamelessly over her body. She immediately became aware of how the moonlight made her light dressing gown nearly sheer. The blush in her cheeks deepened.

"Stuck in your head again, Tess?" Will teased. He was smiling at her, his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the railing. Tessa said nothing.

"You do that occasionally you know. I see it. You get so caught up in your own thoughts that you forget the people around you. In a way I somewhat admire that about you. But do tell me Tess, what was it you were thinking about?"

Tessa thought of the way the moonlight added a touch of silver to the darkness of Will's hair. She thought of the way his fingers curled over the balcony's railing and imagined them curling instead over her wrist to pull her close. She thought of him begging her not to tell any one else at the Institute about his curse and the vulnerability and frenzy that had been in his eyes. Tessa thought of the real night on the Lightwood balcony, the way Will tasted of fizzy lemonade as he kissed her. She thought of his hands removing Jessamine's pins from her hair and holding her close, calling her his Tessa. She thought of her heart pounding in her chest as she wondered whether or not that had been truly Will speaking, or the after effects of faerie punch.

But Tessa did not say any of this to Will. Instead, she asked him a question. "Are you, I mean, are you asleep as well?"

Will smiled. "No love, I'm not dreaming if that's what you were getting at. This is your dream, I'm merely visiting."

Tessa sighed as she realized that she'd been hoping Will's conscious self had been here as well. "So, what happens here you—I mean the real Will, will have no recollection of tomorrow?"

Dream Will shook his head. "But that's not to say that what I do or say is not a reflection of what 'real Will,' as you call him, truly wants or would say. Just because this is all in your head does not mean it is not a reflection of the truth Tessa."

Tessa only stared. She knew that she was not stupid, for lack of a better word, but Tessa could not imagine her own mind conjuring up something like this. Tessa also hadn't thought that she was anything but human but the last few months had proven her wrong in that respect as well. Her power allowed her to become someone else, to touch their thoughts and emotions, so she supposed it wasn't so far fetched that she was able to bring Will's true thoughts and emotions forward in her dreams. She knew Will so well that perhaps she needn't have a personal artifact of his to touch just the edge of his mind. Tessa pressed her fingertips to her temples as her brain seemed to ache inside her skull.

Will chuckled. "There you go again," he said. "Lost in thought once more. Are you alright, Tess? You look like you're in pain. Don't think too hard." He was smiling, teasing her, but Tessa was too weary to pay much attention to it. Instead she longed to be in the circle of Will's arms, the heat of him keeping her warm on this starry night. Tessa wrapped her arms around herself and shivered as tears pricked the corners of her eyes. Why did it have to be so difficult?

"Tess," Will said softly. His mask of teasing dissolved into one of concern as he walked up to Tessa and took her cold hands in his own. He ducked down so that he was eye-level with her, letting go of one of her hands to run his thumb along her jaw. "Tess, speak to me. What is it?"

Tessa only looked at him, into his dark and fathomless eyes. A small tear slid down her cheek and Will leaned in to kiss it away. "Don't be sad Tessa, please don't cry, not for me."

After the days of cold distance between them, Will's tenderness surprised her. Tessa found her body curving into the shape of Will's body, aching for him to close the distance between them. Tessa thought of Jem, but only momentarily. This was her mind, not reality, and anything that happened was not real. In reality, Jem lay beside her in her bed sleeping, utterly unaware of what was happening in Tessa's dreams. "It's still too late," Tessa whispered.

Will smiled halfheartedly at her. "Tess, when will you let yourself feel what you long to feel?" And before she could say another word, he was kissing her.

Will wasted no time on being proper with Tessa—though nothing about him kissing her was proper—as he put an arm around her waist and pulled her against his body. Will kissed her gently on the lips, then with more urgency. Tessa soon found herself gasping for air but did not stop; Will was right, she needed to let herself feel what she truly felt, and there was no safer place to let herself go than in her own mind.

Will's lips left hers as he trailed kisses along her jaw, down her neck and across her collarbone. Tessa reached up and ran her fingers through Will's soft curls, reveling in how soft it felt on her fingertips. Between kisses Will whispered her name, calling her Tess as only he did. Goosebumps covered her arms and exposed décolletage as Tessa shivered from something that was not caused by the cold.

Tessa allowed Will to guide her back until she was pressed against the railings of the balcony. His hands pressed on the small of Tessa's back and he bunched the fabric of her dressing gown in his fists. Tessa gasped and pressed herself even closer to him; Will let out a low growl as he kissed Tessa's neck. Heat coursed through her body, her blood boiled under his touch and her heart slammed into her ribcage in a way that was nearly painful. There was no other feeling in the world like kissing Will, nothing compared to it. Tessa wanted nothing more than to press Will as close to her as possible and feel his skin on hers.

One sleeve of Tessa's dressing gown slipped down and Tessa's bare shoulder became exposed to the cold. Will's kisses ceased temporarily as he cupped her face and looked into her eyes. Tessa imagined her face betrayed her every emotion—she was no good at hiding her feelings the way Will was. She wondered what he must think of her, acting this way with him when she was engaged and Tessa blushed with shame.

"Tess," he whispered, seemingly short of breath. His hair was unkempt and his cheeks were flushed. His eyes burned into hers and Tessa felt as if he were looking right into her, seeing only Tessa and nothing else. Even when she Changed, Will was still able to see her. He always saw just her and something about that made Tessa's heart ache.

Concern flashed across Will's face. "Tess?"

Tessa felt her mouth form Will's name but no sound came with it. He furrowed his brow and shook Tessa slightly. She wanted to tell him he was hurting her, but again, Tessa opened her mouth nothing came out. She tried again to say his name, and got the same result. The edges of Tessa's vision blurred slightly and she felt her knees turn to jelly. She didn't realize she was slipping down the railing until Will caught her up in his arms and carried her towards the doors that lead back into the Lightwood estate.

Fear sent ice through Tessa's veins. She did not want to go back into the hot, cramped room full of demon women and faerie drinks. The memory of the Change slipping from her and the air being pressed from her lungs became overwhelming. Tessa tried to get Will's attention but her body would not move. Will kicked open the pair of French doors ahead and Tessa tried to scream but to no avail. She felt herself gasping for air but it seemed as if her lungs no longer worked either. Tessa felt a tug on her arm and heard someone calling her name somewhere far away. As Will stepped over the threshold there was a white flash, then everything went black.

"Tessa! Tessa wake up, wake up darling. Tessa!"

Tessa's eyes flew open to more darkness. She was tangled in her sheets and her dressing gown clung to her body with sweat. Her heart was slamming in her chest and she gasped, grateful for the intake of cool air.

Jem's voice came from beside her in the darkness. Tessa's eyes adjusted to the dull light and she was able to make out the anxious look on Jem's face. He reached up and gently touched Tessa's cheek. "Tessa. You were dreaming, it was only a dream. You were having a nightmare."

Tessa said nothing, she only looked at Jem. "It wasn't real?"

Jem pushed Tessa's damp hair from her forehead and kissed her cheek. Tessa slid closer to him and allowed him to hold her. "No, it was only a dream, dear," he said. You were thrashing about and moaning in your sleep. I've been trying to wake you up for ages."

Tessa felt tears prick the corners of her eyes. Everything had been so beautiful and real, only to come to a terrifying and dreadful end.

"Oh Tessa, don't cry love. It wasn't real. You're safe here, I'm right here. Do you want to tell me about it?" Tessa shook her head and felt Jem nod in response. Tessa felt ashamed and embarrassed. She had let her mind play tricks on her and she allowed herself to behave improperly with Will, all while Jem had been asleep and unaware beside her. She felt vile and dirty and only wanted to forget the night's events. She knew Jem would want nothing to do with her if he knew, but in that moment, Tessa needed him more than ever. Tessa felt selfish for what she was about to ask but asked nonetheless.

"Jem," Tessa whispered. "Jem, would—would you speak to me in Chinese, perhaps? I know it's an odd thing to ask but there's something about the way your voice says the words that, well it, in a way—"

Jem turned her face to his and kissed her. "Anything for you Tessa."

Though Tessa hadn't the slightest idea what Jem was saying, she thought it sounded loving and tender. Just like Jem. She found her eyes becoming heavy again and her heart slowing. Jem whispered sweetly in Tessa's ear and stroked her arm until she fell asleep once more.