A/N: Aaaaaand it's done. FINALLY! I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone who has read this fic over the years. Your enthusiasm and support has given me such joy and a boost when I felt like my writing sucked. I can never thank you enough, especially for waiting as long as you did. Cwtches to all. :)

"Honey, I'm home!" Annie says as soon as she's closed the apartment door. "I always wanted to say that," she adds quietly, to herself, while she grapples with the weight of her backpack.

It finally settles it on the floor with a low thud.

The apartment is much quieter than Annie was expecting and she tenses slightly, her whole body on alert, because that's usually not a good sign.

"Troy?" she calls out, the sound as hesitant as her footsteps. "Abed?"

"Annie...?" Troy says then, blinking at her like she's some kind of mirage and he needs to make sure, and the balloon he was in the midst of inflating flies across the room in a whistle-y dash of pink.

It ends up deflated somewhere in the scale model of the Temple of Doom, knocking over the figurine of Indiana Jones in the process.

As if he senses a disturbance in the force, Abed steps out from his bedroom blanket fort, still wearing his pajamas even though it's 5 o'clock in the afternoon, takes one look at the model and rushes over to remove the balloon and set the miniature back on its feet.

"You're not supposed to be back until tomorrow," he says once he's done, watching her closely, and if Annie had to define his expression she'd guess it was suspicious, although she's not that sure.

Sometimes, it's really hard to tell.

"I got an earlier flight," Annie admits, and moves further into the apartment, sweeping her eyes across the six balloons already inflated and dancing lightly across the floor with her movement. "But aw, you guys! Were you throwing me a party?"

"Yeah, and it was supposed to be a surprise but now it's ruined," Troy whines, pressing a fist against his mouth for a second. "RUINED!"

"I should have predicted this. Not cool not cool not cool not cool."

"Hey, Abed, calm down. Look at this face and what does it say?"

"I don't know," Abed says, more distressed than ever if the side-to-side jump of his gaze is anything to go by, and he's literally seconds away from wailing.

"It's surprise, okay? I was surprised. You did good."

Annie squeezes his arm and takes a look around, tugging on his sleeve every time she notices something new that excites her.

There's a cute star-patterned paper tablecloth that they must have purchased just for the occasion, and a 'Welcome Home' banner strung across the window with 'Annie' written in red pen at the end. There's even a sleeve of red cups and other party supplies stacked on the kitchen bar all ready and waiting and their organization and preparedness makes her heart flutter, although that's not the only reason.

"This is so great," Annie says, still smiling and unable to stop, both hands clasped against her chest now, if only because Abed didn't really like her tugging at his sleeve.

"I can't believe you guys would do this for me. No one's ever..." she trails off, shaking her head slightly, feeling more than a little emotional at the moment.

The contrast to the loneliness she felt only yesterday is startling and she has to swallow the lump in her throat.

"I've never had a party thrown for me before," she finishes quietly.

"We missed you," Troy says with a shrug, toeing the floor. "You're our Annie."

She melts at that, actually melts.

"And you're good at making buttered noodles," Abed adds, a fraction calmer now. "They say you don't realize what you had until it's gone. I understand that now," he goes on, so serious as he stares into the distance, like he's seen the very pits of buttered-noodle despair.

"Britta said she was sorry, Abed," Troy says, his voice all huffy and a shred away from snapping, and Annie knows this is probably an argument they've had a hundred times already.

"She'll do better next time," he continues. "Now that she knows how you like it."

"It's not the same."

"Well, it doesn't matter because I'm back now," Annie interrupts, before the back and forth escalates any further. "And I missed you too. Both of you."

She watches them both closely, and it's barely a few seconds before the emotion of everything and the absolute relief at being home bursts out of her in a dizzying rush. It propels her forwards with a joyous squeak, and she flings one arm around each of their necks and gathers them close for a long squishy hug until she feels the pat of Troy's hand against her upper back.

"Squeezing too tight there, Annie," he chokes out, his voice strained. "I kinda like oxygen, you know?"

"Oh!" She jumps backwards, winces sheepishly. "Sorry. I'm just. It's been a long day traveling and it's just really good to see you guys."

"And to be home, right?" Troy asks, smiling now that he can breathe again.

"Of course," she says, matching his smile. "That's the best part."

And it is.

Even though she had the time of her life in Europe, being back home makes her whole body sigh in relief, like it does when she slides on her comfiest pair of flats or her brightest cardigan. It just feels...right.

For as much as she's spent most of her life feeling like she never fits in, always on the outside looking in, she fits in here, with her friends.

"Why did you come home early?" Abed asks then, moving over to turn on the TV because it's Friday afternoon, which means it's probably time for some kind of movie marathon and for Annie to relocate to her room for a while, like always.

"I just have some important things I need to do before school starts," she says flippantly, hoping that explanation is enough for now.

She's usually so prepared for their questions but she just cannot stomach them right now, especially when she doesn't even have all the answers — at least not until she talks to Jeff.

Her pulse flutters at the mere thought of his name.

"Do you have to do those things right now?" Troy asks, joining Abed by the TV. "Because we were gonna order pizza and watch movies while we blow up all the balloons. We were multitasking, like you taught us!"

Even though every part of her is itching to rush over to Jeff's — to see his face, to know how he's doing, to hold his hand if he'll let her — Annie smiles at the child-like hope in their eyes, feels a warmth in her chest that they genuinely missed her, and maybe right now the best place to be is with her friends.

"No," she says softly. "It can wait."

They've just finished their first movie of the night when Britta walks in to the apartment, closely followed by Shirley who's carrying a saran-wrapped plate of sandwiches that no one is going to eat.

"What—you guys!" Annie sits upright in her seat, silently "aw's" as she clutches at her chest. "I thought the party was tomorrow."

"We decided to move it up a day while you were in the bathroom. It's not like anyone had anything better to do."

"Speak for yourself, Abed," Britta says, heading straight for the fridge to grab a bottle of beer.

She throws Annie a little wave hello once she gets the cap off and takes a swig.

"Seriously, you guys didn't have to come over," Annie says. "I'll probably head to bed early tonight and I don't want to ruin your plans."

"But I just said no one else had anything better to do."

"Except Pierce," Troy admits, and then frowns thinking about it. "Weird, right?"

Britta snorts, rolling her eyes. "Puhlease. He's probably lying because he wants us to think he has friends outside of the study group."

"Oh. That's kind of sad. If that's true that means he's at home right now all alone."

"And he only has himself to blame, doesn't he?"

"Britta!"

"What, Annie? He does. Now are you gonna hug us or what?"

They each give Annie a welcome home hug then, and the conversation shifts to her trip and requests to see her photographs once she gets the chance to go through them all. It warms Annie's heart, even though she knows no one is really that interested. She appreciates the pretence all the same.

Their food arrives a short while later and they all sit around the dining table eating pizza and drinking cheap cola and beer while they fill Annie in on what's been happening while she's been away.

After, Annie gives each of them their souvenirs, much to their delight, and both Troy and Abed wear the giant hats she bought them in London even as they settle down to watch another movie.

The whole evening passes happily enough but there's one notable absence and Annie feels it keenly the longer the night goes on.

She looks away from the empty chair where Jeff usually sits to find Shirley watching her closely, and the sad tint to her smile is enough to have Annie feigning a need to get up and go into the kitchen, just to escape the pitying scrutiny.

She potters around in the tiny space for a few minutes, collects all the beer caps and bottles for recycling, and gives the counters a wipe down with antibacterial spray because she knows it hasn't been done the whole time she was away.

"Annie, sweetie," Shirley says then, making Annie jump as she appears by the kitchen bar. "Jeff would be here, if he could."

"What? I'm not thinking about Jeff. I don't care where he is."

Shirley raises one brow. "Mmmhmm."

"I don't want to talk about this, Shirley," Annie says with a sigh, pinching at the bridge of her nose.

"Funny, Jeff said the same thing."

"You've spoken to him?"

"I did. We even went out for drinks last night. Well, he drank and I watched him. But I was with him for hours."

"Oh." She frowns at that and makes a show of folding and refolding the dishtowel a few times just because it wasn't done right the first time. "Is he okay?" she asks, trying to sound nonchalant about it but she's pretty sure she fails.

"As well as to be expected," Shirley admits.

"What does that mean?"

"Well, I'm not sure it's my place to say."

"Now is not the time to stop gossiping, Shirley."

Shirley looks at her all haughtily but any offense taken only lasts for a few seconds before the allure of gossip wins over.

"If you must know he said he found his dad."

"WHAT," Annie says with a gasp, her fingertips flying up to cover her mouth. "Oh my god."

"I know," Shirley agrees, sounding scandalized. "I didn't even know he was looking for him. Did you?"

"Yes. Well, only recently. But I—wow."

Annie slumps back against the kitchen counter, staring ahead but not really seeing. The noise of the TV and her friends in the background completely fall away into a distant sort of hum, her thoughts suddenly far too loud.

Because she can't help but think of that moment back in London when Jeff first told her he was searching for his dad, and not only the surprise she felt at that but also that he was genuinely confiding in her, that he wanted and needed her support, and her whole chest flares and aches with want.

All day her heart has longed to be somewhere else, her whole body lit with a restless need to do something — so much so that both Troy and Abed scolded her more than once for fidgeting during movie time — but it was easy to ignore surrounded by the noise and chatter of her friends.

The silence is not as giving.

She has to see him, even more so now.

It's all she can think about.

Annie blinks and shakes herself back into focus then, finally notices Shirley has left her alone to her thoughts, and rushes to grab her car keys from the hook.

"Guys, I'm really sorry but I have to go."

"I guess your important things couldn't wait then?" Abed asks, in that matter-of-fact yet all knowing way of his, and Annie barely stumbles at the sight of her friends all watching her with a mixture of interest and confusion as she hurries to the door.

She doesn't feel the need to reply.

Annie blinks at the doormat thick and padded beneath her feet, a 'Welcome' set black into the bristles. She shuffles side to side across the letters worn thinner than the rest and her fist curls an inch away from the door before she drops it and takes two steps back.

Hanging her head slightly, she closes her eyes and takes a steadying breath trying to remember the reason that drew her here only twenty minutes ago.

She has to see him.

Now.

Her first knock is too soft and the third is probably too loud, and Annie glances around the darkened hallway and back again, just to make sure.

It's a minute or so before she hears the faint sounds of movement and Jeff mumbling what sounds like obscenities as he makes his way to the door. Annie holds her breath, feels the beat of her pulse in her throat the louder and closer he gets, and she has the inexplicable urge to bolt but only for a second.

She's not a quitter, never has been.

There's a brief scratch and fumble of the chain against the wood before the door swings open, and even though she's expecting him Annie jolts back a step at the sight of Jeff standing there, bare chested, his jeans unbuttoned and slung low against the solid cut of his hips.

She traced him there with her fingers once, followed the muscled line all the way under the sheets...

Her face and ears burn hot in remembrance and the memory of the last time she saw him comes back to her in a blinding rush, when he threw her a sad smile before he walked away and never came back, and it hurts. It hurts so much to look at him now, all sleep-rumpled and sexy, his frame backlit in the darkness by the single beam of the lamp by the couch.

"Annie?" Jeff croaks out, rubbing one eye with the heel of his hand. "What are you—?"

"I know it's late." She glances at her watch, wincing at the time displayed there, and wrings the skin around the strap. "But I'm still on London time. Or maybe it's Paris time. I don't know."

Jeff slow blinks a few times, seeming to clear his eyes of sleep, and Annie knows he's not fully there yet when he says, "What?"

"I was going for a F.R.I.E.N.D.S reference where Chandler and Monica are — never mind."

She shrugs it away and Jeff huffs out around an awkward kind of smile, looking all kinds of hesitant now that he seems to be awake properly.

"Sorry," he says. "My ability to understand reference humor doesn't kick in until I've had coffee. I'm not Abed."

"No. You're not."

Rolling her lower lip between her teeth, Annie's not quite sure what to do with the dread rising in her stomach because this...this is not the reaction she anticipated.

Foolishly she spent the flight home thinking Jeff might take her in his arms the instant he saw her, kiss her senseless and tell her everything she wanted to hear — because yeah, okay, part of her will always think of the fantasy first — but now she wonders what the hell she was thinking because he's just standing there, looking at her like...like he's unsure and afraid.

Afraid of her.

"Sorry," she says quietly, shakes her head a little. "I don't know what I was—I'll go."

Jeff locks his fingers around her wrist as she moves to leave, and Annie watches them with surprise and uncertainty before slowly meeting his eyes.

"Don't go," he says, so soft it's almost a whisper.

The pleading strain in his voice could just be the sound of lingering sleep if Annie thinks logically enough but she doesn't want to be logical anymore.

Her heart won't allow it.

She nods slowly, even though she's not really sure why at this point, and when her gaze dips to where Jeff's fingers are still pressed firm, he drops her wrist abruptly, like he wasn't aware he was still holding it.

He scratches the back of his neck as he moves to let her inside.

Annie drifts the short distance to the couch but doesn't sit down, feeling a strange mixture of relief that he's talking to her and fear of what happens next. She tightens her hoodie about her waist as Jeff waits for her to speak, his hands stuffed into his jeans pockets and not even remotely abashed that he's still only half dressed.

"So..." he says a moment later, apparently already tired of the wait.

"So," Annie says, plastering on her best smile, and starts picking at the fine skin around her nails because now that she's here she doesn't even know where to begin.

"Um, how was your flight back?" she settles on instead.

"You came here to ask me about my flight?" Jeff asks, and he's not quite incredulous but it's close.

"No, but I just. I'm trying to ease into it with some polite conversation."

He frowns but he also looks vaguely amused by it all, which is something.

"Okay, I'll bite." He folds his arms loose across his chest, seeming too tired to do it properly. "Ask me again."

Annie blinks at him for a second, trying not to notice the hard strength and sinew of his muscles stretched and flexing and how they felt under her hands, and uses the pause to wet her lips, to get it together.

"How was your flight back?" she asks again, lifting her chin higher because she can do this, this little script.

"The worst," Jeff admits. "I had a screaming baby a couple rows behind me which meant I spent eight hours wanting to murder."

"What did you do the rest of the time?"

"Watched a movie but it was very Glee so I pretty much spent the whole flight wishing for death."

Annie huffs out a laugh and Jeff smiles too but in the silence that follows their smiles fade slowly, eyes meeting a couple of times before flitting away, and the awkwardness of it all clings to her like a prickly second skin.

This is hell. It's actual hell.

"Did you see your mom?" Annie wonders, anything to fill the silence, and the abruptness of the question is enough to make Jeff startle a little.

"Huh?"

"Before...before you left you said you wanted to see — You didn't go see her," she realizes out loud, watching his gaze dip to the floor and the way he seems to shift almost nervously.

"No," he says with a sigh. "But you knew I wouldn't."

Annie nods at that because she knows a fake excuse when she hears one. She's heard enough of them over the years — from Jeff most of all.

"I talked to her though," Jeff continues, much to her surprise. "She's fine."

"Good. I'm glad. I told you she'd be okay."

"Yeah. You were right. About everything."

"No," Annie murmurs, thumbing at her temple and feeling so tired all of a sudden, now that the earlier adrenaline is fading away. "Not everything."

Jeff stares at her for a long drawn out moment but seems to snap himself out of it pretty quickly once he realizes, nodding at nothing in particular and swiping at the back of his neck as Annie looks at her shoes.

The awkward weight of everything that's happened sits loudly in the silence and distance between them, even though they're standing so close, and Annie can't believe she ever thought they could go back to being just friends and nothing more.

She's felt the weight of him as he pushed inside her and the heat of his hand around her own, knows the scent of his skin first thing in the morning and the press of his kiss just before they fell asleep. They can't go back. Not now.

"I'm sorry."

They both speak at once and there's a nervous quality to the sound of their laughter when the surprise and awkwardness of the moment falls away.

"I just," Annie starts, once Jeff gestures for her to go on. "I wanted to say I was sorry and you're important to me and I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you, Jeff," she says, desperate almost.

She takes a breath then, tries not to cringe outwardly at the way it sounds so rehearsed. Even though she practiced readily on the flight home, she meant every single word.

It doesn't seem to have the right effect though, as Jeff's mouth tilts into a sad half smile.

"We'll always be friends, Annie," he says. "Don't worry about it. We had fun, right?"

She nods, somehow managing a smile even though her chest hurts so much because this is not all she had to say, not even half of it.

"It was the best summer I've had in a long time," she admits, her skin warming at the memory. "A real long time."

"Me too."

He smiles at her properly then, that adoring genuine smile that crawls into his eyes and creases the corners and makes her heart flutter wildly in her chest and god. She just wants to throw herself at him because he put himself out there, in that tiny bookshop back in Paris and maybe even before that, and there was something so raw and vulnerable about that moment that she'll never get back, and she ruined it.

Right now, with the silence like a too heavy, ill-fitting cloak, it feels like she ruined them.

Annie pinches the back of her hand hard, tugs the skin between forefinger and thumb, hoping the pain distracts from the acidic burn of emotion that's clogging the back of her throat and prickling tears at the corner of her eyes.

Jeff seems to realize he's giving her the look that says more than his words ever could, as suddenly it's as if the expression never existed and he's searching the room for distractions.

Anything but look at her.

"So, good talk," he says.

"That wasn't...that wasn't what I came here to say," Annie admits quietly. "Shirley told me you found your dad and I just wanted—needed to be here."

"Oh."

It falls silent again and Jeff stares at her intently, like he wants so desperately to say something but doesn't know how, even though that thought doesn't seem possible knowing what she does about Jeff Winger and his silver tongue.

Annie wants so much to reach out and comfort him in some way but she's unsure if she's allowed to now. "I'm so happy you got what you wanted," she settles on instead, her hand falling back to her side, tingling with absent touch.

She flexes her fingers, tries to shake the feeling away.

"I wanted to tell you, when I found out," Jeff says eventually. "You're the first person I wanted to tell."

"Why didn't you?" she asks, holding herself tense for the answer.

"Isn't that obvious, Annie? I felt like I couldn't talk to you, not after how we left things. It's weird, even now. Look at us. We can barely string a conversation together."

"It doesn't have to be weird," she says quickly. "You know you can always talk to me. We're—"

"Friends. Yeah. I got that," Jeff says, an edge of bitterness to his voice as he shakes his head like he's so done with it all. "You know what, Annie? It's late. I'm tired. So if there's nothing else could you see yourself out? I'm just gonna crash. I'll see you at school next week."

Her mouth parts to speak but Annie doesn't even get a chance to respond as Jeff walks back to his bedroom without a second glance her way. She stares at the empty doorway, completely blindsided and unable to wrap her mind around his obvious dismissal and—

"What?" she says to herself. "No. NO."

Not happening.

Rolling her shoulders back and holding her head high, Annie marches into his bedroom, her steps powered by a determination she hasn't felt in days because this has gone on long enough.

Years, even.

Jeff sits on the end of his bed, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands, and the wilt of his posture has Annie drawing to a halt.

She'd been so wrapped up in her own feelings and the confusion she felt, the doubt and the fear and everything else, that she hadn't really stopped to think what this might be doing to Jeff.

Jeff, who spent two years patting her on the head and running in the opposite direction every time he felt a shred of something between them because he didn't know how else to handle it.

He still doesn't.

The realization has Annie stealing a breath, her inhale sharper and louder than she intended, and Jeff finally looks up at the sound, shooting to his feet at the sight of her in his bedroom doorway.

"Annie—" he starts and stops, taking a deep ragged swallow as Annie steps closer until she's completely engulfed in his shadow.

"It wasn't a fling," she tells him.

Jeff stills.

Doesn't move an inch.

Doesn't even blink.

"You know, me and you?" she continues, meeting his eye and holding it as intensely as she's ever held anything. "It wasn't a fling."

"I know," he says with a tiny smile that seems more than a little relieved, and Annie watches it bleed into the lines she loves so much, so soft and affectionate.

She wants to trace them with kisses and her fingertips and wonders if he'll let her now.

Her heart thinks he will.

"And I meant everything I said about being friends because your friendship means so much to me but I also really want you to take me on that date." Her mouth curls downwards along with a flippant shrug of one shoulder as she tries to play it cool. "If you're still interested."

He grins, though he's trying not to now, and his whole body softens, the tension just falling away. "I am."

"So the offer still stands then?" she asks, still kind of tentative even though she knows she has no reason to be now.

Jeff reaches for her, finally, one hand catching the curve of her elbow to draw her closer. "Absolutely."

"Good. I'm glad we cleared that up," Annie says, beaming, and stretches up on tiptoe to skim her hands up his chest and around his neck.

She tugs him down to her mouth and meets his lips in a slow teasing kiss, smoothing her tongue over his.

At last.

The noise Jeff makes sounds like it's ripped from his chest, and Annie can feel the gritty rumble all the way through to her spine as his hands slide against her hips. They tug and tear at one another for a moment, tilting their heads for better angles of mouths and deeper kisses, her breath tasting like mint and his faintly of scotch.

Jeff wrenches away suddenly and Annie arches her neck in invitation, almost panting in desperation for his mouth on her skin in all the ways that she's missed. He accepts with a happy hum and dots a string of wet messy kisses down to her collarbone, nudging the collar of her hoodie aside with the tip of his nose where he lingers, his breath tickling warmth with every exhale.

"Annie..."

He sounds as breathless as she feels, panting unevenly against her neck, her name like a question and an answer, all at once. He moves to cradle her head between his palms, his gaze so soft as it falls over hers.

"I missed you. It's only been a few days and I missed you." Jeff presses his forehead to hers and whispers, "What have you done to me?"

"Nothing you haven't done to me," Annie says, and kisses him, her fingers edging underneath the slack waistband of his jeans.

Jeff moans at the greedy clutch of her hands on his ass and backs her against the chest of drawers, the action rocking the lamp on its ceramic base, though not enough to tip it over. He tugs the hoodie from Annie's shoulders and lets it fall to the floor; her name a desperate murmur against her lips as he jerks away.

Annie doesn't want to open her eyes, cannot bear to, but when she does Jeff's watching her with such warmth as he gently trails his fingertips along her hairline and down her temple, his gaze skipping between the roll of her lips wet with his kiss and the flutter of her eyelids heavy with desire.

"Take off your clothes, Annie."

She thinks of making a joke about him buying dinner first but the look of absolute longing on his face ignites her own and so she does what she's told. She peels off her tank top first and quickly unsnaps her bra, letting both fall from her fingertips once she sees the heated way Jeff's staring at her bare chest and watching her nipples tighten in the cooler night air.

She sheds her jeans and panties the same way and watches Jeff watch them, riveted by the slow slide of fabric down her legs until she's standing naked in the middle of his bedroom.

When their eyes meet, there's a nervous excitement and exhilaration between them that wasn't there moments ago, and for a second they're back in that hotel room in London and this is all new and different and they haven't yet memorized each other's bodies.

But there's no burning impulse to cover herself this time around, no thoughts of doing something wrong or fears about tomorrow, and Annie knows for certain this is right where she's meant to be.

They both are.

Jeff steps as close as possible until he is pressed against her everywhere, the denim of his jeans rough against her skin. Annie hooks her fingers into the waistband and tugs them down until they're loose enough to fall to the floor, watching him all the while and unable to look away.

Her hands skate back up his chest so hard and heaving, her fingertips catching on his nipples enough to make him shudder, and Annie knows there's a note of awe in the whisper of his name because she just can't help herself.

She wants him. She wants him so much.

As if the sound is his breaking point, Jeff drops his hands to her ass, palming hungrily at the swell before he lifts her. She's barely in the air long enough before he tosses her down onto his bed and Annie grins in delight and bounces a little breathlessly as she watches him slide down the bed and settle his shoulders between her thighs.

"Jeff, what—" she starts but then her head falls back against the pillow and she stutters out an "Oh god" when he licks at her instantly.

There are no soft kisses at the top of her thighs this time, no slow teasing swipes. It's just the firm eager stroke of his tongue deeper and harder every time she arches and writhes.

Clutching at her breast, Annie pinches one nipple and rolls it between forefinger and thumb until the sensation is so sharp she's almost shuddering against his mouth with the wet frantic pleasure of it all. Jeff moans, clearly loving how quickly he's worked her up, but abruptly tears himself away, leaving her practically throbbing as he grabs a condom from his bedside table and hastily rolls it on.

"This is gonna be quick and I'm not even sorry about it," he says, covering her body with his own and sucking at the heavy pulse at the base of her neck as he thrusts against her.

"Quick is good. Sometimes. Hurry," Annie replies, feeling mindless now from the hard and heavy weight of him and the way he's grinding against her just right and she's close, so very close. "Now Jeff."

Their mouths meet desperately again and she loves that he tastes of her.

Annie curls her legs up against his hips, grinding back as much as she can, and Jeff gets the message as he lines himself up and pushes his way inside. They both take a breath, whether to adjust to the fullness or that she's so tight and wet and on that fluttery edge, or because they both can't believe they're doing this again — Annie isn't sure but the reason doesn't matter. Not now.

She can't look away as she caresses his cheek and Jeff turns to press a kiss against the heel of her hand and nothing else is said as he starts to move, sliding out slowly before thrusting back in, repeating the motion over and over and harder each time until they're both panting and grunting and mindless with sensation.

They lose track of time and rhythm, their mouths brushing in breathy kisses every now and then and eventually, Jeff buries his face in the curve of her neck and Annie clutches at his back, feeling the muscles bunch as he works himself inside her and slides a hand to circle her clit until she tightens and tightens and they both come with quiet, shuddery groans.

After, they slide underneath the sheets and lay side-by-side facing each other, their bodies slightly sweaty and still breathless from all that has happened.

She's not sure how long they lie there just staring at each other, sometimes smiling, sometimes not, but for the first time in days Annie feels a contentedness in the silence. Jeff reaches out to run his fingertips lightly down her arm, the sensation enough to warm her smile and snuggle closer.

"I'm sorry I left you in Paris," Jeff says then, disturbing the quiet. "I shouldn't have done that."

"What?" Annie frowns, confused for a moment because her brain is still wrapped up in all of the great sex endorphins and the way he just touched her like she was the most precious thing, and that's the last thing she ever expected him to say, least of all now.

"I know it's probably the wrong time to mention that," he says, like he's a mind reader. "But it's been playing on my mind. So, you know, I'm sorry."

"No, no, it's..." Annie curls her hand around his wrist on the mattress between them, the pads of her fingers pressing against his pulse, still racing. "I don't blame you for leaving. I handled everything badly that day. I was... scared."

Jeff freezes beside her. "Scared of what? Of me?"

"Maybe? I don't know. You kept me at a distance for so long, Jeff, I—"

"I know it might not seem like it most of the time but I was trying to be a good guy because you're younger than me. And maybe I was scared too." He tucks a messy wave of hair behind her ear and his fingers whisper-soft against the skin there makes Annie shiver slightly.

"It was never because I didn't want you," he adds.

"I know that now. But you once said everything we shared together was all in my head and it hurt me. You made me doubt myself, Jeff. And after my breakdown, when I didn't even know what was real and what wasn't, I made a promise that I'd never be in the position to doubt myself again."

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, his eyes snapping shut for a second, like her words physically pains him.

"I know. It's just. It took a lot for me to deal with that and move on. I thought I had but then..."

She shrugs, not really sure how to put their history into words.

"When we were in London," she carries on. "I didn't think about what I was doing. For the first time ever I just, I let myself get carried away by you and the moment and everything."

Jeff shifts closer again, his hand settling at the curve of her waist. "Me too."

"And it was nice. I don't often get that chance, not outside of my own head anyway. It was kind of freeing, you know?"

Jeff nods, his grip tightening against her.

"But that day at the Louvre, I realized things between us had just spiralled out of my control and it scared me because I thought I'd already figured out what you meant to me. But I was just deluding myself. I was trying to be someone I'm not. Because I don't have flings, Jeff. I don't sleep with people and then forget it ever happened. I'm not spontaneous and I don't ever live in the moment. That's not me."

"You can be whoever you want to be, Annie."

"But I don't really want to be that person. I actually...I like who I am."

"I like who you are, too," Jeff says softly.

"I know you do," she says with a smile that feels so bright now, and she has to bite her lip in effort to restrain it slightly. "And that's good because I guess...I guess the whole point I'm trying to make is that I had every right to be scared before but not now, not after everything that's happened between us. I know you won't hurt me."

He winces at that, like the weight of the proclamation is a bit too much pressure to handle right now, and his forehead falls against the top of hers.

"I might, Annie. I might."

He sounds genuinely pained by that thought so Annie takes his face in one hand, forces him to look at her.

"Okay. But I might hurt you too. I mean, I already have. It works both ways, doesn't it? The point is I know that's a risk but I kind of think you're worth it."

Jeff smirks but there's a slight blush to his cheeks, too. "Well, duh."

"Except when you do that."

His laugh is low and cheeky as he draws her into his arms and they hug in the low light of his bedroom. Annie sinks into him with a happy kind of sigh, his bare skin warm against her cheek, no space between them.

She closes her eyes and squeezes him tighter, lets out a breath of absolute content and relief.

"Shirley thinks I'm in love with you."

Annie freezes, though her eyes pop open wide. She doesn't move except to blink and swallow against him while she tries to find her voice and collect the thoughts that seem to have scattered senselessly to every corner of her brain.

She's more than a little dazed so she's not sure how long it takes but when she finally finds the courage to shift backwards to look at him, Jeff is staring at her just as wide-eyed and surprised as she feels.

Shirley thinks I'm in love with you...

He doesn't say it again but Annie hears it just as vividly as she replays the words over and over, and she has a fleeting thought that the jet lag has finally consumed her and this, this moment that she's thought of endlessly at times, each scenario so different and all at once the same, is all a dream.

"What—"

She suddenly can't bear to look at him in case she sees something she doesn't want to see, things like mistake and regret and that wasn't what I meant and all the other denials that usually follow, and chooses instead to follow the path of her finger as it taps nervously against his bicep.

"What do you think?" she settles on eventually.

Jeff takes a breath so deep Annie feels it against her ribcage.

"Ithink," he murmurs, tugging her closer again. "She might be onto something."

It's impossible not to look at him now and Annie's not sure if she should pinch herself or call for help because she must be hallucinating or going into some kind of shock, and she knows from experience that kind of thing needs medical assistance.

"You do?" she asks, just to make sure because this just doesn't seem real.

"Uh huh." Jeff nods, though the movement's erratic, and she can feel the heavy beat of his heart against her. "And it's really fucking scary, Annie, and if we're gonna do this you should probably know that I'm trying really hard not run through that door right now and that sometimes I'm gonna mess up. Not just 'Shit-I-forgot-it's-Valentine's-Day' but really mess stuff up. But the thing is..."

He visibly gulps as he clasps her jaw in one hand, watching the path of his own thumb brush smooth across her chin, so soft like he's just discovering the feel of her skin for the first time.

"I love you," he says, his gaze jumping wide to hers as he huffs out a breathy laugh, grinning like it's a revelation or a relief or something.

Something real.

Dimly aware of her heart performing the Cirque du Soleil against her ribcage, Annie runs her palm down Jeff's forearm to uncurl his grip from her face, stealing his hand. They lay there silently again, both watching the twine of their fingertips over and over, this way and that — a newness in the action now, after everything that's been said.

"You know, I'm scared too, Jeff. I am. I mean, this is you and me and if we're doing this you should know that even if I don't say it I probably will be upset if you forget Valentine's Day."

She can't hold in her smile as he breathes out a laugh and his happiness is one of her favorite sounds.

"Oh, I know," he says. "You'll act all passive-aggressive about it for the whole day while dropping lots of Valentine-related hints. I'm thinking maybe even a pop quiz, because you're evil like that."

Annie feels a little affronted by that and opens her mouth to protest before she thinks better of it, wincing and shrugging because yeah, okay, that's true.

"Probably. But you'll deserve it, you know, for forgetting Valentine's Day."

"Yeah but I'll only forget the one time because there's no way you'd allow it to happen ever again. You'll probably draw love hearts around the date on my calendar."

"Mmm. Glittery pink ones. But I was thinking maybe just setting up an alert on your phone, seeing as you're so attached to that thing."

"That works too."

They share a smile at that and the silence swells as Annie looks at him, carefully testing each letter and syllable of something she's said about so many random, meaningless things — butterflies and books and pencils with little animal-shaped erasers — and yet never truly meant until now.

"I love you," she says quietly. "I love you so much."

Her heart stumbles with a burst of nervousness that feels so ridiculous now, after everything that's been said, and Jeff blinks at her, eyes roaming the bite of her lips; his nostrils flaring with every breath.

The moment is stretched out thin and taut between them before he lunges at her, rolling her underneath his body and capturing her lips with a fierce kind of intent, their mouths hot and desperate with more and finally and about damn time.

Annie allows her hands to skim across the hard muscle of his back, wherever they want to go because he's hers and she's his and he loves her, and her fingers are still greedy even after she's pulled away.

They both laugh a little breathlessly, like they're drunk on their feelings for each other, drunk on the moment, and Jeff dashes back to her lips to draw out a few extra kisses like he just can't help himself, like he just can't get enough.

"What happens now?" he wonders, brushing his thumb across the sensitive skin behind her ear and Annie lets out a breath, clutching at his lower back as she arches against him.

"I...I don't know," she says. "What do you want to happen?"

"No idea. I'm not exactly experienced in this sort of thing."

Annie's smile twitches as she trails a fingertip along the low cut of his hip. "Could've fooled me."

"You know what I mean," he says with a smirk that's dirty and delicious.

"I know," she says, and the excitement and energy of everything has her wriggling slightly, like her body just wants to do a happy little mattress dance. "But I'm not exactly experienced either so we'll just figure it out together. One step at a time."

She nods once, satisfied. Decision made.

"Look at us, Annie," Jeff says, playing with her hair now. "Figuring things out together, talking about our feelings. Anyone would think we were normal."

"Jeff. We go to Greendale. I think it's safe to say that's not possible."

"I should be worried about that but I'm not. Why is that?"

"Maybe you've just reached a new level of acceptance. Maybe you're right where you should be."

"Yeah," he says, all low and husky. "I'm definitely where I'm supposed to be."

Annie beams at him, completely unable to temper her joy, and she feels invincible, like she can do anything right now, like her possibilities are endless.

She remembers a similar feeling as she stood on the hotel balcony back in Paris not too long ago, with the wind in her hair and the world at her feet, only now it's even better.

"Don't you think there's been enough talk for one day?" she asks then, not really waiting for any sort of answer as she rolls them over and rips the sheet away to straddle him.

They laugh delightedly and Jeff murmurs a teasing "So bossy" as she settles in his lap and curls her arms around his shoulders, presses her breasts against his chest.

Slowly she treads her palms across his back and sides, trembles at the zip and zing of adrenaline alighting her spine and her skin and everywhere they are touching now, raising the hairs on her arms, and she did not know it could be like this, did not know this feeling was even possible.

Something bursts inside her, a content she's never felt so bone deep before, not for all the A's in the world, and she wants to know if he feels it too — the happiness crawling beneath his skin and buzzing in his fingertips and clawing at his throat so much that he doesn't know whether to laugh or cry or shout until he's breathless and shaking from it all.

She's delirious with joy. It's the only way to explain it.

Jeff scoops Annie's hair out of the way and mouths at the smooth bend of her shoulder. He skims the tip of his nose up to nuzzle at her nape and drops a kiss right there, at that spot that always makes her shiver, one hand sliding down her spine to caress and squeeze at the curve where her ass meets her thighs.

The float of his breath is warm as he whispers, "Are we really doing this?" with a croaky note of wonder in his voice.

Smoothing her palm up and over him, Annie tugs and tilts his head just the way she wants it, their eyes meeting above the softest of smiles and he feels it too, she knows he does.

"Yes," she breathes finally, and traces one fingertip across the slow rise of his lips. "I really think we are."