Title:The One Thing They Will Agree On

Words (on Word):4,597

Rated:MA

Main Pairing:Seme!Hades/Uke!Poseidon/Seme!Zeus

Summary:Hades and Zeus are polar opposites. So it is considered normal for them to be constantly bickering and fighting with each other. The gods are sick and tired of them bickering, so they lock them in the room. While in there, Zeus and Hades find common ground- both have unrequited love with a certain sea deity. Meanwhile Aphrodite is on a mission to help the brother's out, in reaching their goal. Will her plan stop the Yin and Yang brothers from constantly arguing or will she cause yet another war?

Warning:Male/Male, Threesome, first attempt at a lemon

For the first two scenes:Enbizaka No Shitateya by Megurine Luka

The third and fourth scenes: Tig Ol' Bitties by Your Favorite Martian

Final Scene: Blame by Transluzent

On Earth, storms were raging and countries that have never experience earthquakes were getting killed with 7.0's and 8.0's. On Olympus, the King of the Thunder and the Lord of the Dead were at each other's throats. Again. What they were arguing about, well, I have no idea. It started about five minutes ago on the topic of whose plan, for the upcoming war, would be the better choice. Somehow that shifted into which pastry was better, cookies (Hades swore that cookies were man's greatest creation) and pie (Zeus swore that nothing beats a good homemade, fresh-from-the-oven pie). That somehow turned into which Pokémon was better, Darkrai ("Didn't you see that episode? He was freaking AWESOME!" Zeus thundered) verses Diagla ("Come on! The Pokémon is a freaking LEGEND! He cannot and will not be beaten!" Hades all but screamed). Then they argued about which song was better, 'Call Me, Maybe' ("Dude. That is like the song of the CENTURY! Everyone knows it." Hades snapped) or 'What Makes You Beautiful' ("That song is amazing. It, like, speaks to your heart." Zeus murmured wiping a single tear from his eye). Now as I tune back into the conversation I find that they are arguing about…

"Ironman is beast OK!" Hades yelled, his face as red as said hero's suit.

"Are you kidding me? Thor's power is insane! He destroyed an entire army all by himself, like, three times!" Zeus shot back.

"The only reason why you like him is because he is exactly like you! Stupid, arrogant, and thinks that all problems can be solved with violence i.e. zapping people. And he did not do all that by his self! Someone had helped him all three times!" Hades steamed,

Zeus snorted "Seriously? What, did you not see Thor totally PWN Ironman's ass in the forest-fight scene?"

"It was a tie! And if it weren't for Ironman the whole world would have been destroyed! The dude risked his life and took the nuke out into space! Let's not forget the fact that he entered enemy territory in order to do it. Face it, Zeus, Ironman PWNs."

"He does not!"

"Yes he does! He had two movies about him, not including The Avengers. How many did Thor have? Oh yeah that's right, he had only ONE! And it wasn't even that good."

"You just didn't like it because Thor kicked the crap out of Loki."

"Hey! Don't diss the silver tongue."

"Silver-tongue's are annoying and stupid."

"So now you're dissing Meggie and Mo, from Inkheart?"

"Oh please. I didn't like Inkheart as a book and I definitely hated it as a movie!"

And just like that they started arguing about a book. The other Olympians, as well as Hestia and Persephone, were present. Ares, being Ares, was rooting them on hoping for a full out brawl. Aphrodite was fixing her makeup and trying to convince Hephaestus to let her give him a makeover. Said god of fire and constant tinkering was building a doohickey for one of his thing-a-majigs. Hermes and Apollo were videotaping the whole thing, planning to use it in the future as blackmail. Artemis and Athena decided to take over the planning and were now discussing different tactics. Dionysus was salivating over the wine he was finding in his daily issue of Olympians-R-Us. Hestia and Demeter were quietly discussing something or other in hushed tones. Persephone and Hera were trying, and failing on EPIC proportions, to calm their husbands down.

Trying to ignore his idiotic brothers, the Ruler of the Sea was playing a game with his self.

'Starfish, Blowfish, Angelfish, Flying Fi-' Poseidon's thoughts were cut off by the sudden silence in the room. Looking towards Hades and Zeus he saw that they had drawn their weapons and were poised to fight. 'Seriously?'

"Brothers," Poseidon spoke calmly, "Are the weapons really necessary? We could solve this by just sitting down an-"

"Shut up, Poseidon!" Zeus and Hades growled in unison.

"Maybe you should listen to our brother. I mean seriously! You guys are about to have a brawl over cheddar and mozzarella cheese!" Demeter pointed out. She shrank in her seat as Hades and Zeus focused their glare on her.

Poseidon sighed and calmly walked up to the brothers, who looked at him with suspicion. Then, in a blink of an eye, he applied a swift kick to their chests. They went down with an 'Oomph!' They looked up at him in disbelief.

"Now that you guys are done arguing," Athena spoke up before yet another fight could occur, "Can we please go back to planning for the war approaching us?"

Fortunately they were able to complete it without any more issues.

"We seriously need to figure out a way to get Hades and Zeus to stop fighting." Athena stated. She had on her deep-in-thought face on. "The question is how."

Aphrodite opened her mouth to suggest something but was cut off by Demeter, "I don't know. Every time we try to intervene it just backfires on us and they end up hating each other even more."

Everyone was silent as they pondered. Aphrodite, once again, tried to speak her plan only Persephone cut her off, "Why not try locking them in a room together? Maybe instead of trying to force them to like each other we should let them come to an agreement on their own."

Aphrodite, once again, tried to speak, this time she was successful, "I think that is a great plan Sephie."

"Don't call me that." Persephone muttered threateningly.

Aphrodite just continued, ignoring her. "This way we won't have to suffer and, if all else fails, then maybe they will scream and yell themselves into exhaustion."

"That might be our best bet." Hestia admitted. "All in favor raise your right hand. Those who are against the idea raise your left hand."

None of them raised their left hand.

"Aright," The love goddess squealed. "Let's do this. Hera and Persephone, if you could, please get your husbands into Room 699."

Artemis raised her eyebrow at her. The room was sound proofed, meaning that if her Uncle and Father got into a fight no one would know. She went to voice her concerns when she realized that, for once, Olympus would be peaceful and quiet. That however was not Aphrodite's plan, but know one needed to know her real plan.

After much "persuading", "reasoning", and not-so-subtle subtle threats the wives finally got their husbands into the room, a room that conveniently locked from the outside (with a key) and nullified powers. In other words, they weren't going anywhere. Hearing the lock click in the door, the brothers started up a staring contest. It went on for a while, at what seemed to be a stalemate, but Hades, being Hades, was used to giving his subjects death stares and turned his stare factor up from a two to a three. Zeus smartly backed down. I mean Hades is the god of the dead. You can't be the god of the dead without mastering the many levels of glaring and staring. His level one glare would be enough to make Satan piss his pants. Not that he's real…

With the contest over they had nothing else to do. Multiple gay babies were born (if what they say is true) in the awkward silence that followed. Finally Zeus couldn't' take it anymore and tried to do what his sister suggested, connect with Hades.

"So… how's life for you?" was his brilliantly, witty conversation starter.

Hades just looked at him with his "Are-you-effing-serious?" face, before going back to staring holes into the door.

Cue more awkward silence.

Hades decided he would explore the room they were in to get rid of that awkward feeling of... well, awkwardness. It was an average looking room, although lacking furniture. On one side of the room there was a dresser, with a lamp on top. Next to the dresser there was door, slightly ajar, possibly leading to a bathroom. Hades entered it in hope of finding a way of escaping but he was disappointed to find no escape routes. It was a rather large room, even by the gods' standards. The sink and toilet were normal enough for gods; it was the bathtub/shower that really caught you attention. Although, calling it a bathtub was like calling the Grand Canyon a "Small Crack". The tub was as big as a basketball court and about four feet at its shallow end and twenty feet at its deep end. A simple Navy blue rug was set up in the middle of the mosaic-tiled floor.

Hades walked back out feeling disappointed and continued to survey the room he was stuck in. on the opposite side was another door, possibly a closet. In the corner there was a plasma TV with chairs and sofas arranged in a semicircle around it. Then Hades finally looked at the last object in the room, the bed. Hades eyes practically bugged out of his head when he saw the size of it, the bed would probably be able to fit all of the gods, major and minor, comfortably.

"What in my name is this bed supposed to be used for?" He mused out loud. No one needs a bed that big."

Zeus snorted, "I'll say." Then he walked up to Hades handing him a slip of paper. "Hey look what I found."

Hades looked down and saw a picture. Gasping, he realized it was of them and Poseidon in their teen years. Hades had been leaning up against a tree, his dark and naturally curly hair framing his heart shaped face. He was wearing a silk black robe, the top was opened slightly revealing pale, smooth skin. He had an arm around Poseidon's shoulder, a small smile on his face. Poseidon looked like a girl. He and Hades may have been identical twins but it was obvious that Hades was a boy. Poseidon was constantly being confused for a girl and who could blame people? He refused to wear any "boy" clothes claiming that if girls could dress like boys he could dress up like a girl. The picture was proof enough; he had woven flowers in his braid, which he had thrown carelessly over his shoulder, which reached down to his hip. He had managed to borrow one of his aunts' dresses and the peach color brought out the glow of his tanned body. He had kohl highlighting his, at the time, bright blue eyes. He had a huge grin on his face, showing off his pearly whites. Around his waist was another pale arm, though not as pale as Hades, attached to a boy just going through puberty. He had hit growth spurt and was taller than Poseidon but shorter than Hades. He was wearing a simple white tunic. His black hair was a mess sticking up in random places as though he had been electrocuted and tried to pat it down but failed. His electric blue eyes were sparkling with mischief and glee of a youth. He, too, had been smiling, his white teeth looking even brighter with the wisp of hair growing on his chin and on his upper lip.

Looking at the picture Hades found it hard that the boys who used to be practically inseparable had grown into men who couldn't even be in the same room together without ripping at each other's throats. Hades felt something stirring in his chest. Emotions he has tried over the years to suppress. Guilt, sorrow, and envy.

"I forgot how good Poseidon looked when we were younger." Hades heard Zeus mutter.

"You make it seem like he is now ugly." Hades replied, carefully folding the picture before placing it in his pocket.

"No he is definitely not ugly. Great body, handsome face…" Zeus chuckled softly, trailing off.

"Nice ass." Hades finished.

They stopped chuckling as the realized what they just said. Faces red, Zeus sat on the bed and face palmed while Hades sat on the sofa pinching the bridge of his nose. Awkward silence filled the room as the brothers mulled over this new information.

"The girls were wrong, I guess." Hades said startling Zeus.

"How so?" He looked at his brother, an eyebrow raised.

"They say that we can't agree on anything, but we can"

Catching Hades drift, Zeus continued the thought, "We may not get along with most things but we can agree that we would like to… um… let's say connect to our dear volatile brother."

Hades smirked mirrored his own. Now if only they could get Poseidon with them. Little did they know that Aphrodite had already come up with a plan to help her sexually frustrated nephews.

"Hey Poseidon." Aphrodite called. Said man turned around to see his bubbly aunt coming towards him.

"Yes Ditey?" He turned around fully, a soft look in his eyes. Aphrodite was one of the few immortals who haven't tried to kill one of his children.

"A few moments ago the girls and I locked Hades and Zeus in Room 699."

"You did what?" Poseidon paled at the thought of those morons possibly killing each other. They may be immortal but he was sure that they would soon find a way. That would also explain the silence.

"Don't worry. The room cancels their powers."

"Since when did it do that?"

"Since we got Hecate in on the plan."

"Oh. Well they still have hands as means of weapons."

"Yes I realize that. I imagine that whatever is going on in there might but be good so…"

"Let me guess. You want me to go and check up on them."

"Yes that was my intention."

"No."

Aphrodite gawked at the Sea king. She wasn't expecting him to just turn her down.

"Why not?"

"This is Hades and Zeus we are talking about. I go in there and the world would be thrown into an early Apocalypse."

"Oh stop overreacting! Besides you are the only one of us who is just as, if not more, powerful as those two. Anyone else goes in there and we may never see them again."

"Still. No. Why should I? Now that I think about it, those two beating each other up would save me the trouble of getting my hands dirty with their ichor."

Aphrodite grabbed Poseidon by the shoulders looked him in the eye and said, slowly with a hint of menace, "You will go and check up on them right NOW."

Poseidon nodded and started walking, Aphrodite closely following him. She hadn't meant to charm-speak him into going but she'll be damned if her plans fail. She put too much thought into this for it to all go down the drain.

They reached the door and Aphrodite unlocked it gesturing Poseidon to get a move on. Poseidon nodded once more and disappeared into the room. Aphrodite locked a door and let a smug grin creep on her face. So far, so good. Now all she had to do was hope that Hades and Zeus take advantage of the situation she left them in.

Hades and Zeus looked at Poseidon and noticed his dazed look.

"Hey Poseidon. You alright?" Zeus asked, not knowing whether or not he should be happy that all of a sudden Poseidon was there or if he should be suspicious because all of a sudden Poseidon was there.

His voice snapped Poseidon out of the charmed induced daze. Shaking his head to clear his brain more he realized that he was in the room with Hades and Zeus. He wanted to be angry at Aphrodite. He did tell her that he didn't want to check up on his brothers lest he send one or both of them to Tartarus. Before he could explode, however, his eyes started sending images to his brain and he realized that the room was not trashed nor were his brothers in any way harmed. All his anger vanished a he quirked a questioning eyebrow. His brothers not fighting? The world must be ending.

"I'm okay I guess. The question is, however, are you okay?" Poseidon looked over to where Hades sat, "I should ask you the same question."

"What do you mean?" Zeus asked. Hades picked his head up, cocking it to the side in silent questioning.

"You guys haven't fought once and don't say you guys haven't." Hades and Zeus closed their mouths, a slight blush on their faces. Not only had they been about say the same thing but the fact the Poseidon caught them on it told them that he knew them well. Maybe a little too well... "The room you guys are in isn't trashed in the slightest. Not even a slight ruffle in the sheets. So again I ask, are you guys okay?"

The brothers just stared at Poseidon for a moment then Hades spoke for both of them, a glint in his eye. "We are okay Poseidon. Actually we found this picture and was reminiscing over the good ole days."

"What picture?" Hades just simply handed him the picture. "Where in my big brother's name did this come from? Wow! Was I really that girly looking?"

"Yes. Yes you were." Zeus answered attaching himself to Poseidon's side. Hades did the same on his other side.

Poseidon noticed how close his brothers were to him and tried to sidestep away from them, to no avail. They had it so that there was no way to escape.

"Ummm...yea. What are you guys doing?" Poseidon asked softly. His heart was racing and he could feel his face burning.

Hades just hummed in answer. He slid a hand down Poseidon's side and gripped his butt. Zeus followed suit, squeezing his other cheek.

"And now I feel violated." Zeus hushed Poseidon, kissing him fully on the lips. The Thunder Lord couldn't help but moan at the softness. They were even better than he could ever imagine. There was a slight saltiness to them that had Zeus prodding with his tongue, silently asking for entrance. Meanwhile Hades was kissing the sided of Poseidon's face and moving to his neck, going down his spine. He peppered his lower pack with heat-filled kisses that was sending Poseidon into a frenzy. With no warning Hades latched onto Poseidon's neck, just under the jaw, a bit down. Hard. Poseidon gasped and Zeus took the opportunity to delve is tongue into the moist cavern and explore every inch of it. Zeus' hands slid down the toned but lithe body before reaching for the buckle of Poseidon's belt. Zeus reluctantly left Poseidon's mouth ,to focus on getting rid of those godforsaken pants. Hades helped out and pulled the sea god's shirt over his head, throwing it in some random corner. With a whoop of glee, Zeus pushed Poseidon onto the overly large bed and practically ripped the pants off him. Hades and Zeus looked upon the gorgeous body, licking their lips in anticipation.

"Hey no fair." Poseidon panted out, "You guys still have your clothes on!"

Zeus immediately started taking off his clothes but Hades was stopped by tanned calloused hands.

"Let me do that for you." Poseidon whispered into Hades ear, his voice deeper with lust. Hades just nodded and watched in fascination as Poseidon slowly took his off clothes. He discarded the robe and couldn't help but smirk as he saw that his demented older brother had nothing on under his robe. Hades had the decency to blush in slight embarrassment. Choosing not to comment he grabbed his brother's shoulder and brought him into an open mouthed kiss. Hades groaned against the mouth and brought his hands to Poseidon's waist bringing him closer, their erections rubbing sinfully good together. They both moaned and started rubbing against each other, feeling each other all over.

Zeus watched this whole ordeal happened and had to stop himself from just throwing Poseidon onto the mattress and pounding him into a blissful ecstasy. Instead he discarded the last of his clothes and sat on the bed to watch his older brothers ravish each other. After a while he couldn't take it and grabbing Poseidon's waist, he brought both of them onto the bed.

He wasted no time in removing the last of Poseidon's clothes. Poseidon's back was facing him and his mouth went dry as he looked at the ass that was right in front of him. Zeus got up and searched in the drawers for something he could use to lube up his straining cock.

Poseidon pulled away from Hades when he felt Zeus and looked to where Zeus was trying to see what he was doing. Hades growled and took a dusky nipple into his mouth worrying it with his teeth. As he worked one nub with his mouth he brought his other hand to pinch and pull the other one. All thoughts flew out of the sea god's mind as Hades worked his nipples, reducing him to a moaning quivering mess. Zeus rejoined them gesturing to Hades to lift Poseidon up. Hades nodded his understanding and, getting on his knees, wrapped Poseidon's legs around his waist, never once letting his mouth go off him. Zeus snapped the lid open and squirted a fair amount of lube on his fingers before bringing them to his brother's quivering hole. Poseidon gasped as he felt a thick finger circle his entrance, then whimpered as he felt it enter him. The burn of his skin stretching cause a few tears to spill down his face. Hades felt one on his face and, knowing exactly what was wrong, he wrapped a pale slender hand around Poseidon's neglected cock ad began stroking it. As planned, the pleasure from getting a hand job was able to distract him from the pain of being prepped. Soon the finger turned into two fingers and finally three.

Zeus pulled his fingers out and lined his self up to the puckered hole. Slowly pushing himself in, he reveled in how tightand hot and good Poseidon felt around him. Poseidon gasped and arched into Hades at the feeling of being full. The pain was there but was quickly fading into pure pleasure.

In his haze, Poseidon realized that while he and Zeus was experiencing pleasure Hades wasn't getting any form of release. Getting on his hands and knees, and thanking the architect of this room for putting a huge bed in it, he grabbed the weeping red cock and tentatively put his lips around the tip. Hades let out a long, low moan and tried to restrain himself from grabbing Poseidon's hair and pounding his cock into his warm and wet mouth. Hearing that reaction Poseidon took it further into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the swollen member every once in a while he world graze his teeth across it. Hades grabbed a fistful of Poseidon's hair when he went all the way down, taking the whole cock in his mouth. Zeus had been watching Poseidon and taking it slow as to not hurt him too much. Seeing that Poseidon was adjusted and relaxed he sped up his thrusts and aimed for the one spot that would cause Poseidon to see stars.

Poseidon moaned around Hades member when Zeus hit prostrate. Hades almost came right then and there but he had an idea and that idea required him to be hard and not tired out. Reluctantly pulling out of Poseidon's absolutely amazing and talented mouth, he pushed Poseidon onto Zeus lap.

"Zeus. Pass me the lube." Hades growled out. Zeus nodded slightly, stopping hi thrusting and handing Hades the small bottle. Hades quickly lubed up his cock and gestured to Zeus to lift up Poseidon. Zeus lifted Poseidon up slightly and Hades lined himself next to Zeus. Seeing what his oldest brother was trying to do he helped him out by spreading Poseidon's cheeks apart. Once again Poseidon felt the burn of being stretched, only this time it was excruciating. Hades quickly buried himself deep within his brother and started caressing him and peppering him with kisses, trying to get him to relax and waiting for him to adjust. Zeus followed Hades lead by whispering sweet nothings and words of encouragement.

After a while the pain disappeared leaving Poseidon wanting more. Hesitantly he rolled his hips relishing in this feeling. His younger and elder brother took that as a hint to start moving. They started out slow but quickly sped up when Poseidon growled at them. They didn't need to be told twice. They immediately sped up and started pounding into his ass, hitting Poseidon's prostrate at different angles over and over. All three of them were a moaning mess and the thrusts started losing rhythm as they reached the point of no return.

Poseidon came first, spilling his essence all over his and Hades chests. Zeus followed shortly after, shuddering as he experienced the most powerful orgasm he ever had. The feeling of Poseidon's walls squeezing even tighter around him was just too much for Hades and he let go with a strangled gasp. He and Zeus continued thrusting lazily as they rode out their orgasms.

The Big Three collapsed onto the bed, Poseidon immediately fell into a deep sleep. The other two gently pulled out of their sleeping brother and then wrapped him in their arms.

They looked at each other and came to a silent agreement.

The next morning, Aphrodite volunteered to go check on the Big Three. She had set up cameras in the room and was not disappointed in the least. Smirking she opened the door to find Hades and Zeus having a conversation on the couch. They both shut up and looked up at her when she came in.

"OK. We know that we have you to thank for last night. So we thank you." Hades said, getting straight to the point.

"We were wondering if you would be so kind and let the other gods and goddesses know that this room is not to be used by anyone except us. Is that clear?" Zeus stated in his "I-am-King" voice.

Aphrodite didn't even try to deny her plan. It worked so why bother? She smiled and bowed, then she turned to leave.

"Oh and one more thing." Hades spoke, an evil glint in his eye, "The next time we use this room there had better be more, let us say, equipment for future plans."

All three of them smirked and, bowing once more, Aphrodite left.

Now I know that fanfiction is going around and deleting these kind of stories so if this is any good I'll make an AO3 account and just post it on there.

Luvs ya

PhRenatoh