INTERLUDE

I lay beside him in the early dawn light. The big bedroom was quiet, the glass doors to the balcony locked, reducing the sound of the ocean to a distant hiss. I would rather they had been open, to smell the sea, but, considering who he was, it was too risky, even here, on the seventh floor.

He slept quietly in my arms… no, not really in my arms - a rangy six-footer, he was no lightweight, and I had never found a way to hold him for long periods without my arm going numb. But he was close, and I trailed one arm over his back. There was a trace of sweat on his skin where I touched him…

His head was resting on my shoulder, and I pressed my face into the soft red hair. He smelled of spicy shampoo… and his own scent… sort of sharp and clean, like the ocean.

I'd been with him for four months, and hadn't yet stopped wondering how I'd been fortunate enough to be given this glorious, complicated man. I don't know what I'd expected. A man in a hard, dangerous job - you didn't hold the rank of police lieutenant in a city like Miami without facing almost daily risks - I'd expected a tough pragmatic individual - and he was - but he could nevertheless be the gentlest, most sensitive man I had ever had a relationship with.

He stirred in my arms, not waking, just turning onto his back. I let go of him, and instead studied the pale-skinned freckled body. His coloring, a legacy of Celtic blood, was one of fair skin, auburn hair, and - closed now - very blue eyes. A redhead - I'd never even fancied them… until him.

He fidgeted in his sleep, muttering something, almost twitching. He reminded me of a dog I once had, who conducted chases in his sleep… I wondered what my boy was hunting… Whatever it was, it jerked him violently awake. I watched him run a hand over his face, then turn his head to look at me.

"What is it?" I whispered.

"Nightmare… I think…"

"What about?"

"Don't know… Can't remember. It just feels as if it was…"

God knows, he had enough to have nightmares about. I think, at that time, I knew only a small part of it, but it was already clear that life had never treated him kindly.

He turned back, easing close to me. Very close. Breasts, bellies touching… There was no sexual arousal - he was still too nearly asleep. Later, probably… He liked early morning sex… the gentle sleepy sort… before he showered and got ready for work. Within minutes, I realised our breathing had synchronised, and we both fell asleep again.

We were woken by the clock alarm. Still early, but lighter. A faint hum of the air-conditioning…

He reached to put his hand behind my head and pulled me into a long kiss.

"You okay, baby boy?" I murmured. The endearment always made him smile because it was so inappropriate. He was older than me, bigger than me… no baby, no boy… But he was my baby boy… Especially when we first woke up.

Sex was, as usual at that time of the morning, tender and slow. No condom… he was too special to me to allow even a thin layer of latex between us. Anyway, I'd told him it was my responsibility not to get pregnant… I'd never wanted children… Or maybe I'd never met anyone who seemed worth it. Very early on, the subject had cropped up - had he ever wanted children, I'd asked.

He said, "I've got a son."

"I didn't know."

"Neither did I, till he was sixteen…"

"Where is he? In Miami?"

There was a brief shake of his head. "In the military. Afghanistan." And that was all he said. It seemed he didn't want to discuss it, and I hadn't mentioned it again.

He was like that. There were many things he'd talk quite freely about. Others that he wouldn't discuss at all. He was never rude. I just felt the shutters coming down, and knew to change the subject. That's when I realised I hardly knew him at all. Yes…he was complicated…

We showered together - we often did. Then opened the doors to the balcony and ate breakfast in the early sunshine, looking at the sea. He seemed most relaxed at that time of day.

Then… as every day… he put on a dark suit, clipped a gold badge to his belt, took his gun from the safe… and became the head of the Miami crime lab. Me? I went off to my job as a veterinary nurse. And I prayed that fate - and Miami's criminals - would let him come back to me that evening. And always feeling, deep down in an almost hidden part of my mind, that one day, they wouldn't.