(A/N) Sup guys? I'm me and I'm back with a new story for yall! I don't have spell check, so I completely and utterly appologize for any spelling errors and stuff... So yeah, anyways, this is my 3rd Fanfiction peeps and I hope you all like it! :D If you wanna know anything about me, just check my profile! So enough of my babbling! Read, review and most importantly, brush your teeth after all your meals! Hehe, I made a funny! xP Enjoy!

Disclaimer-No, I do NOT own Adventure Time... I flippin' wish I did though...

"Wee-oo wee-oo wee-oo!"

"GAHH!" Finn the human shot out of bed, tangled in his sheets. "Jake! What the zip was that for?"

"Hehe! Sorry dude, it's just so flippin' funny seeing you wake up like that." Jake the dog chuckled, trying to catch his breath.

"Not cool man."

RING! RING! RING-!

Jake interrupted the loud ringing and declared, "Let's have a little competition! Whoever gets to the phone first has to serve the other for the whole week!"

"...Alright man! You better get a crown," the boy struggled to get the zipper open to his crimson sleep sack, "Cuz I'm gonna make you treat me like a king!" He declared and sprang for the stairs.

Jake immediately gave Finn a good shove to the side and leaped down the stairs. Finn stumbled back up and groped for the dog's tail, yanking it down. In response to the sudden and unwanted grasp to the tail, Jake made a weird whiny noise and smashed into one of the steps.

Finn circled around his brother and hopped off of the last few steps, but not fast enough for Jake to grab his leg and yank him down. Jake leaped over his brother and with quick reflexes, Finn jumped back to his feet and lunged into Jake, slamming him into the wall. He quickly slipped to the phone and grasped it off the small nightstand by their sofa with a victorious grin.

He fist-pumped high into the air before clicking the 'talk' button, "Sup?" He paused for a few moments before his jubilant expression flattened to the extent of a piece of paper.

"Dude? What happened man?" Jake asked curiously as he sprawled out on the floor.

Finn held up his index finger and continued to talk, "Dude! You're such a butt you old man!"

"Dude?" Jake asked again.

Finn ignored his question and once again continued to talk with more ferocity, "You're a fart face Ice King! Why are you ALWAYS kidnapping PB?"

Jake held a paw to his ear and listened to their conversation, "Because I want to marry her silly! And no need to be a meanie weenie bo beenie!" He heard the said Ice King giggle.

"I thought you were over PB already! You said so when we were kicking the litch's butt! You filthy, stinkin' LIAR!" Finn shouted into the phone.

"Oh! Did I? Well too bad, I changed my mind."

CLICK!

The blue dweeb hung up.

"Wait a second... why did he call me telling me he stole a princess? Is he really that brain dead?" Finn scrunched up his face and furrowed his eyes. "Flippin' raspberries man..." He moaned, "Lets get to the Ice Kingdom..."

At the Ice Kingdom...

The now ginormous dog stomped to the Ice King's palace with a disgusted expression and the human riding on his back. Finn just glared daggers at his home, hoping by some flippin' awesome chance that it would collapse.

When they stumbled to the front door and Jake returned to his normal size, they smashed the doors open and ran up a few flights of stairs before they reached his dungeon.

"Ice King!" Finn shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth.

"Oh, lookie lookie!" the Ice King spun around with a grin on his face, "It's 'Finn the hero' and his pet dog!"

"He's not my pet dog you... you... fat old cow butt!" Finn stammered angrily.

"Why are you so mean to me?"

"Because you're an old hag and no one likes you..." Jake interrupted with a blank expression.

"Hmph..." the Ice King grimaced and shot his hands out at the two brothers, using his powers to engulf them in an ice block.

"Aww c'mon!" Finn moaned and shivered. Only his head and the tips of his shoulders were not encased in the freezing block. Weird enough, Jake was upside down in the block of ice. "Jake? Why are you upside down man?"

"Circle of life dude... Circle of life..." He mumbled. Finn could barely make out his companion's words because of his face being inside the ice.

Finn rolled his eyes and furrowed them, "That doesn't even make any sense- oh glob, whatever..." He groaned and looked to his right where the ice-cells stood. There he saw the very agitated princess. "Haven't you ever heard of Marceline? She's a flippin' QUEEN for glob's sake! Why not go after her?" he shrieked.

"A Queen you say?" the Ice King slowly turned around, rubbing his blue-grey hands together diabolically.

"Oh glob...what have I done?"

About 15 Minutes Later...

"Don't do it man!" Finn wriggled in the ice-chains that now bonded his hands together as he was shoved forward by ice minions. "I SAID DON'T DO IT!"

"Oh shut up Finn! You are NOT going to ruin my chances with a QUEEN!"

"Do you even know what kind of queen she is?"

"A beautiful rich one?"

Finn's face grew hot with anger and embarrassment, "What? I- no! I-I mean- ugh! What the flip man? She's a vampire queen!" He stammered.

"Ooh! Even better!" he rubbed his hands together delightfully and stepped up to the small peach and crimson house that stood in front of a large, dark cave. Finn wore a defeated expression mixed with a pinch of is-this-guy-crazy-or-what?

They smashed down the door, revealing the said vampire queen floating an inch above her stone, scarlet sofa tuning up her axe bass. She snapped a scowl at the intruders at her door while gently placing her bass on the couch.

"Okay. First of all, what's with the giant blue dweeb breaking my front door? Second, why are you here, and third; why not just knock?" She counted down her fingers as she spoke in her usual dark, monotone voice who was wearing her usual grey tank top with ripped denim jeans and her crimson boots.

"My dear, I have come to marry you!" The Ice King extended his arms in a royal fashion as he took a few steps inside her home.

"What the flip is this old phsyco talking about?" she pointed at him and then gripped her sides in a laughing fit. "Do you see this guy?" she laughed harder while wiping tears from her eyes. "That was a nice laugh full of laughter. Now if you don't mind I'd like to get back to jammin'." She began to shove him out of her house, but he interrupted her.

"Sweatheart-"

"Okay," She chimed in, "Do NOT call me sweetheart first of all, fart bag."

The Ice King paused at the insult.

"Second of all, why in the world would I marry you? Are you crazy?" her ankle-length, ebony hair flowed gloriously in the crisp breeze escaping her now demolished front door.

"I guess I'm going to have to do this the hard way." He stroked his beard and ordered, "Seize her."

His large ice servants grabbed both of her arms and escorted her out of her own home.

"What the glob? Let go of me you-"

"Now now future wife. Don't you worry your pretty little head off. You're in good hands now." Ice King soothed in a psychotic type of way that sent shivers down your spine.

"What? Let go of me! Get your filthy hands off of me you stupid piles of ice!" Marceline wriggled around in their grasp. Then she hissed loudly as the scorching rays of the sun hit her pale skin.

"Marceline!" Finn cried. "Are you a flippin' idiot Ice King? She's a vampire! You can't expose her to sunlight!"

"You fools!You're hurting my precious wife!" He rushed over to Marceline and shielded her, pushing her back into the safety of her home. "Morons!"

"Shut your giant blue yap! You ordered for those doofuses to take her outside!" Jake chiseled in. He may have been terrified of her, but he really wanted to sock that old man in the nose!

"Shut up dog!" the Ice King scoffed, not turning around to face Jake. His attention was solely on Marceline.

"Don't call him a 'dog' you big fart!" Finn bellowed.

"And I am not your stinkin' wife old hag!" Marceline butt in.

They kept bawling at the King until he cried out, "Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!" while holding his ears shut. "I'm taking the queen, and there is nothing you can do to stop me!" he snatched Marceline, using his powers to bond her hands together and soared outside, making sure to shield her from the sun while he hollered, "Bring them back to the Ice Kingdom my minions, while I take care of my wife!"

"Ice King! NO!" Finn shouted, but it was no use.

He was already

long

gone.

(A/N) Hehe! So that's it! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and I know it's kinda short... But stay tuned to find out what happens next! :D Subscribe to my updates so you're never behind on them! So anyways, review! Peace out babes ;*

Catcha Later!

~ CraZiiFanGurL