So I'm back guys. I really do apologise for the long wait. I told a few of you that I'd review like... months ago but things have been getting interesting in my real life... These including (but not only being) my lover-ly laptop deciding to break and world travel – yippee.
I've been listening to Motley Crue and Judas Priest and for some reason it has really put me in the mood to write.
Hence, this chapter.
Not much to report...
Imma warn you that this chapter will likely make no sense because its reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally late and I'm hyped up on coffee and lollipops and all sorts of other amazing things.
Also, I apologise to the Guest reviewer who thinks I am losing my touch at writing.
Actually, I take that back... I don't really care... At the end of each chapter I ask for complaints and excuses so I have that sort of thing coming, anyway.
I WOULD like to thank Flamesrising for giving me the longest review I have so far had... At 1040 words I was impressed and very amused.
Your PS at the end which was:
P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good.
Has actually helped me because now I have more words for Hidan to use XD
And yes, I am all of those things and more! Much more!
The last thing I have to say is that I am still disappointed in the number of copies people have pointed me towards of this story... Remember children, stealing is bad and my toothbrush threat still stands...
All of you enjoy this anyway, whether my writing be good or bad or ridiculous.
April 1st
I really have nothing much to say at the moment, it being nearly dawn as I have successfully pulled off my first 'all-nighter'. Not much has happened, but I suppose I should fill in the last few days (which I somehow missed).
Well first off, Nam R Dnels turned out to be Slend R Man in disguise.
Pein has filed for a restraining order after he tried to steal Tobi (Not sure why he cares)
Its Hidans birthday tomorrow and he has organised for us to go to an amusement park which should be... Amusing...
And something else...
Oh yes, Kisame is dead.
Pity that.
Nu eye iz knot! Itarchee! Eye yoused a water klone jewtsu and ezcaped from heem!
- Kissamee
April 2nd
Today we went to Ninjaland for Hidans birthday.
The expected happened, we all got annoyed at waiting in line for the rides and there were... casualties...
Whatever the case, we took the place over and it is now known as Akatsuki Land.
Also on a side note, I think I may be being haunted by the ghost of Kisame.
Either that or I am going mad with grief over his loss.
But that is not likely.
April 3rd
I've gone to walk Tobi. Be back later. I've left Orochimaru to look after you while I'm away. Be good kiddies.
- Pein
Oh you've got to be fucking joking...
- Konan
Conen! Dat iz no wai 4 a ladi 2 speek! U shood be asha... azham... ashaymed..?
- Kissamee
Ashamed? Is that the word you are looking for?
- Sasori
Eye dont no... Eye'm not gud wit big werds. Eye usualee leeve dat 2 Itarchee.
- Kissamee
It's alright, Kisame. We always knew that Itachi was the brains in your partnership.
- Kakuzu
Probablee... I just lik 2 talk about sharkz and bite peeple.
- Kissamee
Hello, children!
- Orochimaru
Whose idea was it to let Orochimaru be near 'children'...?
Deidara
April 4th
After a lair wide argument, Pein has decided that he 'owes' Orochimaru one and is letting him and Kabuto stay with us for a week or two while a large section of The Village Hidden in the Strippers is under construction.
It is actually a pretty impressive village now.
Something like 3 ninja a week defect from their respectable countries to join Sutorippagakure now.
Erm, Itachi... Can I ask you something?
- Kabuto
No.
- Itachi
Well I was in the room I am staying in and Hidan walked in, started going through my things for about 5 minutes and then randomly left... Explanation?
- Kabuto
Was he laughing?
- Kakuzu
Laughing?
- Kabuto
When he's cackling he might be up to something, when he's quiet you know he is up to something.
- Konan
...My Yu-gi-oh cards!
- Kabuto
April 6th
So it would seem that the Akatsuki have banded together in a rare act of... one-ness... and are trying to prank and annoy Orochimaru and Kabuto out of the base.
Can I help?
- Sasuke
Go away, Sasuke.
As I was saying... Already, Hidan has dyed Kabutos hair pink and Orochimarus blonde in their sleep, Deidara actually cut Orochimarus hair but it somehow grew back within the hou-
I'm serious, Itachi!
- Sasuke
-Kakuzu stole their wallets, the ghost of Kisame flooded their rooms-
ITACHI!
- SASUKE
...Oh fine then. But you are not staying in my room.
Yes!
-Sasuke
April 8th
Day number 1 – Stalking Orochimaru.
I set up camp under Itachis bed and thanks to his blindness, he hasn't noticed yet.
Normally his sense of smell would kick in and he would be able to sniff me out but for some reason his bedroom smells like rotten fish... I'm getting off topic.
Ever since that pedosnake started harping off about me being his new body I've been having nightmares... So he has to go.
I already took the liberty of placing Kabuto and Orochimarus hands in warm water while they sleep and I'm hoping that their embarrassment of wetting the bed will send them pa-
What are you doing in my diary...?
- Overlord Itachi
...Just... writing stuff...
-Sasuke
...Get out...
-Itachi
OooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooOOOOOOOooooooo Sasukes in trouble!
-Kabuto
April 11th
Despite it being several days since Orochimaru and Kabuto arrived we have still been una-
ITACHI ITACHI ITACHI! I HEARD THAT THE AKATSUKI HAVE PAIRED UP WITH OROCHIMARU!
-Naruto, Baka and Phallus
That is completely untrue. He simply moved in with us without asking... And don't interrupt my writings... Just because I like you doesn't mean you are immune from the Uchiha Death Glare™...
-Itachi
Yeah yeah, but my Uzumaki Oblivious Grin™ counteracts it anyway... Grandma Tsunade got a tip off that Akatsuki and Orochimaru have banded together and she's gonna send a buttload of ninja to wipe you guys out!
-Naruto, Baka and Phallus
WHAT!? WHO TIPPED HER OFF TO THAT!?
- Pein, Overlord of the Akatsuki
Uhhh some blue guy with gill things on his face. He had a mummy sword... I think his name was... Umm...
-Naruto, Baka and Phallus
KISAME!?
- Pein, Overlord of the Akatsuki
Nope! Close though. I saw his signature, his name is Kissamee. I wonder if they are related?
-Naruto
Ghost Kisame why!?
- Itachi
April 14th
So today, we did not do anything special. Just marched on Konoha like the bad asses we are.
Standing at the head of the Hidden Leaf forces with the Hokage was, as Naruto forewarned us, Kisame.
I have no idea why he would revert to such stupid actions, or how he is alive to begin with but one thing I do know, is that he looks absolutely stupid wearing Rock Lee and Maito Gais green jumpsuit.
Ewe drov me 2 dis Eetarchee. Ewe r neva nis 2 me nd al eye wont iz 2 b ur frend. Dats al i wont i luv me lik teh bruva u shood hav killd.
-Kissamee
I couldn't understand a word of that so I am getting Hidan to translate.
-Itachi
With pleasure. Ahem...
Dear Itachi... I FUCKING HATE YOUR FUCKING GUTS YOU SICKO FUCKING PERVERTED WEIRDO FREAK! I HOPE YOU ROT IN THE FIREY FUCKING PITS OF THE FUCKING UNDERWORLD WHILE DEMONS AND JASHIN EAT YOUR FUCKING ENTRAILS AND MAKE YOU FUCKING DANCE TO 'STRAWBERRY KISSES' BY NICKI FUCKING WEBSTER! IN SHORT, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOUR CLOTHES AND I HATE THE ENTIRE AKATSUKI! AND MOST OF ALL... I HATE THE SENBON CHEWING SHINOBI!"
- Hidan.
Are you quite sure that is what he said Hidan?
-Itachi
Nooooooooooooooooooooo!
-Kissamee
Yup
-Hidan.
Right... Well... I cant say that I'm not disappointed... I really am just the kindest soul to Kisame. It saddens me to see that he has become a rude, swearing shard of a man despite all the love, warmth and happiness that emanates from when he is around.
-Itachi
If err... Thats what you want to call it..
- Kakuzu
So I have decided... To kill Kisame... Again.
- Itachi
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooo! I hat u Hidan!
-Kissamee
Yeah yeah, I fucking hat you too.
-Hidan
April 19th
So apparently Samehada has this weird ability where if an Uchiha tries to Sharingan its user... it spews out red shit that just melts the crap out of whatever it touches... Kinda like acid blood rain... stuff.
So needless to say, Itachi is even more blind now after it got in his eyes, Tsunade marched her forces back to the Hidden leaf after realising that she had just gotten herself involved in another one of the Akatsukis bitch fights and Orochimaru and Kabuto went back home to Suttorippagakure because their renovations were done... Happy ending I suppose!
-Konan
It is not happy! I can no longer see and am unable to throw things with accuracy at anyone within killing distance! You have no idea how much this saddens me! Also I am gay and like my lovers in pink tutus and parasols.
- Itachi
Wha... How are you reading and writing if you are blind?
- Kakuzu.
I am getting Deidara to write for me. Oh and don't forget multicoloured g-strings. Gotta have those...
-Itachi
Oh... Well things will definitely be interesting from here on out...
- Sasori
There you go guys, definitely not my greatest, longest or funniest chapter haha.
Possibly and probably my last for the Diary of Doom I think.
So I am officially marking this story as Finished after I upload this chapter.
Its been great having you all here. I've had so much fun reading your reviews and putting your own characters in on the Halloween, Christmas and Birthday specials to interact and (in most cases) interfere with the Akatsuki and all who venture along with them.
You've all truly (for the most part) given me something to look forward to every time I upload a chapter.
There would be no point in me writing down specific names because it's been all of you, all of you have helped me along and supported me whether it be telling me about all the copycats out there, chatting with me about random things or even just subscribing, favouriting and viewing the story.
So thank you to all of you.
I'll still be working on my other stories, so if you haven't checked them out and are still looking for Akatsuki madness, then my profile is probably the place to go XD
Thank you all for reading and goodnight!