I have actually rewritten this chapter.
I guess because in later chapters I get the feel of how to write the entries more so now I know what to work with, hence - this chapter is touched up slightly.
Im not rewriting it completely haha
May 16th
Sasuke sighting #14
Foolish little brother spotted with Orochimaru at the 'Emo Farm'.
I must make a mental note to send them both letters dictating my distaste in their lack of fashion sense.
May 17th
Becuz Hidan put lemun juze in Itarchees i-drops, i, Kissamee iz riting this diery entree.
Itarchee wishez 2 say that no mattar howe dezperat he iz he wil knot allowe eny1 to rite in hiz diery otha then me becaz he noes that no 1 can tell tha difrenc in ow riting stiels
- Kissamee
May 18th
I have decided to exact my revenge upon Hidan and Kisame. Hidan, because he sabotaged my eye-drops and Kisame because he wrote my last entry in pen and as a result, I cannot erase it.
May 19th
Because todays trip to the Zoo inspired Pein to dock our pay after the numerous casualties, I have decided to go on strike.
I have also been punished further as it was finally discovered that it was I who told Tobi that Santa is fat because he eats children, the effects of which was many sleepless nights on Deidaras part.
Unfortunately, Kakuzu is making me pay for all the soiled blankets we had to throw out as well.
May 20th
I would like to note down today that my exhausting mission to track down the creators of "Barney; The Purple Dinosaur" has finally come to an end.
I also figured out how long it takes Amaterasu to reduce a human body to ashes...
Not as long as I thought...
May 21st
Kisame has yet again disappointed me with his unhygienic lifestyle.
I am not particularly fussed when it comes to mess on his side of the room but I cross the line when he secretly invites his 'fish friends' over.
He can't fool me no matter how much he tries to cover up the smell.
May 22nd
I have been punished yet again today. Apparently it is 'immoral' to slap Hidan and blame it on a seizure.
Personally I fail to see the problem - the man is far from fragile, hie only weakness being sunlight and garlic.
Fuck you Pinkeye, I'm not a fucking vampire.
- Hidan
You drink blood - you are a vampire.
- Itachi
May 23rd
Hidan waz here!
May 24th
Hidan has been punished. I can only see his attempt at vandalising my diary as a clever distraction to throw me off his undead secret!
May 25th
Sasuke sighting #15
I have come to the realization that Sasuke is probably stalking me.
To counter this privacy threat I have bribed Kabuto with Yu-gi-oh cards so he will dye all of Sasukes 'manly shirts' pink to match that stupid purple belt thing he wears.
May 26th
I have decided to decorate the house early for my upcoming birthday.
Luckily I pre-ordered 3 rolls of razor wire and several kunai traps a few weeks ago.
After last years celebration where Deidara ran traipsing throughout the house screaming 'Katsu', razor wire shall be very very amusing to hang across the hallways...
May 27th
ART IS A BANG!
May 28th
I have now wired my diary to 4 explosives, 6 poison senbon, 3 flying kunai and a giant rock.
I'm not usually one for profanities but I am getting irritated by the lack of privacy and respect...
Try to get through that bitchez!
May 29th
No matter how many traps you set to your diary, you cannot deter the will of God.
-Pein.
May 30th
GOD F #$ING DAMMIT!
The translation for May 17 was:
Because Hidan put lemon juice in Itachi's eye drops, I, Kisame is writing this diary entry.
Itachi wishes to say that no matter how desperate he is he will not allow anyone to write in his diary other than me because he knows that no one can tell the difference in our writing styles