Written for Maddie (Merthergirl) for her birthday. Happy birthday Madster, the Cooper to my Blaine! :D x
It was yet another boring Friday afternoon at Kurt's house. Blaine had come over to study for a test they both had on Monday. Kurt actually looked forward to studying when Blaine was there even though it was exactly the same and just as boring. It was the quality time he craved that made it all the more worthwhile.
Blaine's phone buzzed but Kurt ignored it as Blaine answered it. Immediately, Kurt's head shot up as he heard Blaine sigh.
"Something wrong?" Kurt asked curiously.
"My brother's car's been towed and he needs me to pick him up, can I leave my stuff here for a little while?" Blaine asked, shoving his phone back in his pocket.
"Sure. Hey, do you have any notes on volcanoes?" Kurt said, shutting his book.
"Sure, they're in my bag" Blaine rushed out of the door and downstairs. Kurt lifted Blaine's bag and began rummaging through all the books and papers. All of a sudden, Kurt heard a loud thud near him. He peered over his bed to the floor to see a red book. He picked it up and saw the words "Blaine's diary" written in gold. Kurt couldn't resist, he was expecting to find out some juicy secrets about the mysterious Blaine 'Warbler' Anderson but he soon knew he was getting more than he bargained for...
5th May 2009
I'm scared. I'm really confused, I haven't told anyone but I think I might be gay. There's this new kid at school and I couldn't stop looking at him, he's so beautiful and at the moment I don't know what to think...
Kurt felt a little uneasy and jealous as he read that, he hated the thought of Blaine being with anyone else.
27th May 2009
He talked to me! He actually came up to me and talked to me! I was by my locker and he came up to say hi! I haven't felt so happy in a long time! His name is Mark and he said he wants to be friends!
Kurt wondered if Blaine felt that way when he went up and talked to him.
14th October 2009
I have never hated anyone more in my life. Mark was using me so I would do his homework and school work for him. I feel so stupid for thinking I could have something good in my life.
16th October 2009
I can't take this school anymore! It's only been two days and everyone has turned on me. I counted 24 busies before I lost count. I can't count the number of lockers I've been shoved into today, I hate it!
3rd November 2009
I did it. I told my parents I'm gay. My mom just stayed silent and my dad stormed out of the house. I'm really scared, I told my brother Cooper by text and he supported me and encouraged me to tell my parents, I just wish I hadn't said anything now, I wish I wasn't here, I wish I could just wake up and this all be a dream!
Kurt felt like crying, even though it was just writing he could feel Blaine's pain and it killed him.
25th November 2009
I don't know how much longer I can go on. My dad hates me, school is a nightmare and pretty much everyone I know has turned against me! I want out. I want out of this house, I want out of this school, I want out of this life...
If Kurt wasn't broken before he was now, were things really that bad?
20th December 2009
Word's got out to the school that I'm gay. It's got even worse, the beating, the horrible words, the abuse I get. My mom saw my bruises today too. Kind of hard to miss since pretty much my entire body is black and blue. She said I could move schools; I transfer to a private all boys' school after winter break is over. At the moment I'm nervous but also kind of excited to get away from everyone here. I won't miss a single one of them.
16th February 2010
Things are going great at my new school. The people are nice, there's a strict no bullying policy and I haven't had anyone make fun or bully me yet. The tuition fees are pretty steep but I get a dorm room here which gives me a chance to get away from my dad. I think I'm going to like it here.
It made Kurt smile to know Blaine was happy, he wanted nothing more.
30th June 2010
Things have been going great since I transferred to Dalton. I haven't had to write in my diary as much because there's nothing to write about. I'm getting good grades, I've made lots of new friends and no one bullies me here.
9th November 2010
I met this new guy today. He's called Kurt and he was looking around Dalton. He wasn't a student there but he wanted to be. He sat down with me and a couple of the guys and talked. He began getting upset and I asked the guys to leave so we could talk. He told me he was having problems at school just like I was. I hate to think other people have to go through what I went through especially someone like him so I tried to help him.
10th November 2010
Thing have only got worse for Kurt. He confronted his bully (Dave I think he's called or Karofsky as he's better known) but he kissed him. Kurt text me to come meet him and he looked broken and terrified. He took me to Karofsky and it wasn't exactly pretty. He was tall and stocky, your typical jock basically. He pinned me against a fence when I tried to confront him about it but Kurt came to my aid. Afterwards he revealed to me that was his first kiss with...that. I felt so sorry for him, apparently you're first kiss is more memorable than your first time and now Kurt has to look back to that.
23rd November 2010
Kurt's been texting me all day about his dads wedding. His dad proposed to his girlfriend earlier today. His dad made him wedding planner although I think he's appointed himself wedding planner as soon as they first met. I love seeing Kurt happy; it's a rare and beautiful sight.
Kurt had to stop and blush when Blaine called him beautiful before he continued reading.
Things haven't gotten better with Karofsky. His friends have been trying to help out but it just got them beat up too. Kurt told his dad and he went loco! Luckily, Karofsky got suspended but the school board decided there was nothing they could do and no one reported anything so Karofsky is going back to school.
24th November 2010
Kurt's joined Dalton! I couldn't be happier for him; he can finally get away from his demons at Mckinley however I do feel bad for his parents. They had to use up all their money for their honeymoon to pay the tuition. I'm so happy for him, he's going to love it and he even got into the Warblers.
Kurt skipped a few pages; these were all just memories of his journey to Mckinley.
15th March 2011
Kurt recognized the date instantly.
I love him. It's that simple. I really am clueless. Okay, I could have been a little more subtle about it instead of attacking his face but it was everything I could have asked for, I just hope it was the same for him. I've never been happier. I love him so much 3
Kurt had to smile as sweet memories of their first kiss began to flow back to him.
26th April 2011
Kurt's gone. He's transferred back to Mckinley since he missed all his friends. I'm happy that he's happy but I'm really going to miss him, it's only been a few hours and I'm already missing not having him by my side.
10th May 2011
I never wanted Kurt's junior prom to be like this. All those sick people at his school voted him for prom queen. He got so embarrassed and upset he ran out. I ran after him, he was crying and yelling and I couldn't see him like that. A suggested we left but he went back in there and got crowned in front of them all. I'm so proud of him.
8th November 2011
It was perfect. That's all I can say, Kurt was phenomenal in West side story. I feel bad for trying to make Kurt do it in the back seat of his car (Romantic, right?) but we made up, he can't stay mad at me for long and I wouldn't have changed a thing, I love him so much.
6th December 2011
Neither of us could believe it when we first heard it. "Karofsky tried to hang himself" something we never thought we'd hear. Even after all Karofsky had put Kurt through Kurt was terrified in case he wasn't okay. Thank god she was okay.
13th December 2011
It wasn't much but I gave it him. Well he has a new favourite gum now and he also has me, body and soul. I think he liked it, I hope he liked it.
For Christmas, Blaine had made Kurt a ring out of juicy fruit wrappers. To answer his question no, Kurt didn't like it. He loved it. He kept it safe in his bedside table and wore it every night before he went to sleep.
24th April 2012
He cheated! He cheated on me with some guy he met in a music store. They've been sending flirty texts to each other for the past week. I've been crying for the past three hour's non-stop, how could Kurt do this to me...?
That hit Kurt like a bag of rocks...He never though Blaine got that hurt by Kurt's actions. By now, Kurt was feeling all kinds of emotions from joy to bitterness to rage. He turned the page to reveal the final entry.
30th April 2012
I'm going to Kurt's for a study session today. I'm excited, really excited. I need to cherish every moment we have left together, I don't know how I'm going to cope with out him in fact I don't think I've fully come to terms with the fact that I'm losing him...
Kurt heard the latch on the door as he proceeded to run downstairs to greet Blaine. He caught his eyes just as he was walking through the lounge. Blaine didn't even have a chance to speak before Kurt threw his arms around him and repeatedly kissed him, not leaving an inch of his face untouched.
"You're not losing me. You're never losing me. This isn't goodbye. It'll never be goodbye" Kurt blurted out in between kisses as he draped his arms around Blaine. Blaine looked up to him confused; Kurt's eyes were shiny and glazed.
"What are you talking about? D-did you read my diary?" Blaine questioned. Kurt nodded, still close to his boyfriend.
"Yes, I'm sorry. I know it was wrong and everything but please don't think like that, you're never losing me" Blaine smiled as he pulled Kurt in for another kiss...