This is in fact my first fanfiction-published, fanfiction. Seeing as I am so in love with so many different series and games you would think I had started writing these type of things sooner…But I ramble, please enjoy this angsty first chapter with the reassurance that it DOES get better! I promise!

Korra found herself at his home. It was in the upper part of republic city, a big house with neat square windows lined in steel frames. It was grey with a darker umber shade for the roof. Impulsively, and without thinking too much of what she was doing, she tried knocking on the front door. After a few minutes of waiting, decided he wasn't home.

With a sigh she turned to go, it was stupid for her to be here anyways, he would probably didn't want to see anybody. The last time she saw him he was in such a sorry state she would be surprised if he even managed to drag himself out of bed.

After she walked back down the front steps, she slowed to a stop. Why was she here? She had better things to do, training, helping Mako and Bolin settle into Air Temple Island, helping Pema with the chores, watching the kids.

Korra's mouth turned down into a sour grimace as she thought of the Island. She found she could only tolerate being in the place she called home in small doses nowadays, it was getting to be too much: she had to get away from Asami and Mako's sickening closeness.

So she had taken up the habit of going for long, frequent, walks around Republic city. Usually it was down by the water with Naga, or through the streets, looking in the windows that held wonders she had never seen in the Southern Water Tribe. Those walks cleared her head, dulled the pain too-

Korra shook her head at that thought, she wasn't in pain, she wasn't jealous. Mako was wrong; she was over him.

This time she had gone out in the middle of the day. After walking in on Asami and Mako talking to Pema she left. She didn't get the chance to hear what they were talking about, and it didn't matter, she didn't want to know. All she knew was that Pema was laughing, smiling at something Asami said, with her hand on her stomach. Mako's arm had been around Asami's waist, and Korra had a horrible moment where she had pictured- no. Not jealous, not going to think about it.

Before she knew it though, her wandering had brought her here; to this house that might have once been host to lavish parties, looking glamorous and welcoming. Now it looked like the man that lived there; empty. It was dull and imposing, but there was something so undeniably sad about the dark windows, the curtains drawn tight, and blinds down.

She looked back at it, turning on her heel and pursing her lips at the black iron gates that led to the back yard. She'd heard something. Korra turned and walked over to the tall gate, putting her hand and ear on it.

The sound came again, a dull thump.

That was enough of an invitation for her. She hooked her hands onto the top of the gate and scrambled up the wall with relative ease. She landed solidly in the back yard, arms spread and knees bent in a defensive position. But the side yard closely followed the house, she could only see a sliver of the backyard, and it was tall jasmine bushes.

Straightening her knees, Korra brushed off her shirt and walked down the little stone path. The backyard was sparse save the tall winding bushes that framed the fence. It looked to be primarily set up as a training area. There was a good size pond with a trickling waterfall set up near the middle of the yard with a rock garden around it. The team might have trained back here.

The explanation for the thumping sound made itself known quickly. As she came further around the corner, she peeked around, seeing a small stone deck extending from the back porch. Set up on it were punching bags, weights, ropes, and different types of exercise machines.

The man himself was in the middle of the deck.

He was going through motions that looked not too different from his lost bending, but they were faster, more precise, meant to strike a surface not channel water. His arms moved in the fluid graceful motions she remembered, his body twisting around like liquid; fast and deadly. His hands struck the air like snakes, with balled fists and speared fingers alike. He lashed out at invisible opponents with steely eyes, she could almost see them reeling.

While they stumbled, he twisted out of the way from their clumsy counterattack, ducked under their defenses and drove an uppercut into their chin. While they were spinning he spun in the opposite direction, he landed a kick just under their ribs. He molded his body to the shape of his opponent and set his speed to theirs; moving just out of their line of sight, like he was their own shadow.

Watching him sent her into a trance, like she had been when they fought in the pro bending arena. There, it was just her, and him. They had gone to a foggy place, whipping attacks back and forth. She had tried to ignore his mocking smile; it ignited her anger, and stirred something in her that made her heart flutter, just a little. Now was similar, he hadn't spotted her yet, but watching the way he moved was like being hypnotized; people just don't move like that, but he did.

Korra saw him surrounded by the Chi blockers, in a dark alley. He stood calm and confident, his icy grey eyes looking at them with calculations flying behind them. With deliberate slowness, he slipped into a defense stance. The chi blockers rushed him from all sides. He was not deterred, he moved with that same slowness, sliding through the movements as they came at him again and again.

They could not pin him, he kept slipping through their fingers like water. When they thought they had him their attacks hit only air, he ducked out of the way, doing a flip to the side landing and stretching backwards to avoid the crackling electricity from their disrupter gloves.

But then that familiar glint Korra had seen in the ring sprung into his eyes, her heart sputtered.

With a grunt, he moved into his attack patterns. He struck out in attacks that were a mix of the chi blockers own techniques turned against them and the familiar moves from his water bending training.

He went through this cycle again and again, attack, defense, attack, defense…Until sweat poured from his brow, she saw his muscles trembling and straining, his stances slipping. It had only been five minutes.

Reality slowly came back as he faded back from the being she faced in the ring, that she had tricked and beaten, back to the shell of a man he had become. She saw him struggling against it, but it was as if stiffness had begun to settle over him, turning him farther and farther away from that perfection.

As precise and deadly as he was, Tahno was still unbalanced. He could only retain these bursts of efficiency for about ten minutes, then something slipped out of place inside him, and he returned to the stooped useless thing that Amon had made him. It made him furious.

Of course he knew she was there, he'd known the moment he heard the knock on the door, when he heard the clumsy landing in the yard. Though he didn't know who it was until that pair of inquisitive blue eyes had appeared around the corner of his house.

A small part of him urged his stances faster, more intense, that pride showing itself; he wanted to impress her. But he had more important things to focus on, that pride and vanity had been his downfall last time, and he wasn't going to let it happen again.

When his ten minutes were up, and Tahno's body began to fail him, when he felt the strange coldness and disorientation coming back, he snarled in defiance. He would not be defeated, not by anyone, not even himself. Thinking of that stupid fanciful creature he had become, thinking of how he had been so complacent, how this practice ground had hardly been touched for a month, those stupid costumes, and the screaming fans: he saw red.

With a grunt that escalated into a scream he whirled on one of the training dummies, snapping back his arm, and letting loose with all the power he had left.

The feel of the material and wood beneath giving way to his blow felt good, satisfying, but it did nothing to ease the building tension in him. He was locking up, and shutting down. Quivering like a baby, and feeling wetness in his eyes.

Panting, he let his fist remain in the indentation of the rough material, and watched his arm tremble. He could feel the sweat dripping down his forehead, soaking through the thin white shirt on his back. His bare feet were raw from grating across the stone of his training area all day, and his muscles ached from exertion. His body screamed at him to stop, but his mind roared back in defiance. He was the best and there was no way that was going to change because some freak took his bending.

But it still hurt. He felt so empty and tight, like his body had become a hollow statue, unwilling to listen to him even with his iron will driving it like a mad dog. Ten minutes, that was all he got, then everything locked up again. Then it was over, and he saw those flat emotionless eyes staring back at him from under that white mask that looked like death. He heard that terrifying voice play through his mind again and again, listened to himself beg like a writhing worm. Pathetic.

He had lost his way, letting his fame consume him, letting the glamour of stardom cloud his true goal; to crush everyone in his way.

"I will not be beaten…" He snarled and willed his fatigued body into one last motion. He brought his fist away from the dummy and slid his tired legs around into the stance.

But when he went to launch his leg forward for the desired kick, his muscles gave out; he could almost hear them screaming as they let go. He fell, and even though he put his arms out to lessen the damage, the weak things caved like toothpicks and he hit the ground hard.

What horrible sick irony it was that he saw those stars he had so coveted before, as his vision faltered and went black.

Korra sucked in a sharp breath when he went down. He had been rocking and tipping for a minute, she was sure he would fall, but his growled statement had stayed her. She didn't want to go over to him then, she felt like it would be an insult.

Now though, she saw him crash onto the ground. She had already been in motion when it was apparent he was really going all the way. But it still surprised her enough to gasp when he hit. She could hear the smack of his flesh hitting the unforgiving stone, and it sent a small shiver down her spine even as her feet pounded into the ground

Cursing herself for not being quick enough, she dropped to her knees beside him, looking down with wide eyes.

In that moment where she felt like a little kid again. Her mother had always complained that Korra only knew how to break things, never to fix them. And it was true, when something in the house was smashed by a stray rock, or scorched by an unwatched flame; Korra was clueless on what to do about it. It made her feel helpless and lost, she didn't understand. But she had a solution for that, one that always, always, came back to bite her, as it did now: when she didn't understand something she blocked it out, and ignored it. She'd done it with airbending, her fear of Amon, even Bolin's feelings for her. And her feelings for Mako, she thought with a sick feeling in her gut.

Something hardened inside her then, as that thought tumbled around behind those racing, panicked eyes.

Not this time.

She dipped her arms underneath Tahno's twitching legs and behind his sweat soaked back, heaving him up in the air with little difficulty. Her eyes were flat as ice, her mouth set in a hard line, she felt insecurity writhing around in her gut, but she ignored it, for now.

Korra kicked through the screen door to Tahno's apartment, letting it clatter to the floor then trampling over the paper painted with intricate fish designs, a part of her cringed thinking how expensive it was. None the less she carried him inside and muttering, "Guess I'll have to fix that later." She looked around for somewhere to lay him and spotted a large couch. Quickly going over to it, she lay the shuddering man down and backtracked to his small kitchen.

The cabinets were full of delicate wine glasses and little painted china bowls, none of it what she was looking for. Turning to the larger ones below she rummaged through until she found a large clay bowl. Korra grabbed it and brought it up onto the counter. She turned on the sink and filled the bowl with water, until it splashed over the edges. She sloshed it back to him and set it on the low table next to the couch.

Korra had never paid much attention to the healing lessons Katara gave her, but she tried her best to recall the basics. She willed the water out of the bowl and guided it into a smooth disk floating between her palms swirling it into the desired shape like a sculptor with clay.

Once it was formed she let it spin beneath her hands like a record, moving it over his body. She first determined he was extremely dehydrated, and suffering from severe fatigue. Korra's hands hovered over his chest uncertainly; she saw her arms trembling slightly. With a hard look from her eyes they stilled. She looked back to him, and brought the water down into contact with his heaving chest, and then to his arms and legs, letting it encase them and sooth the spasming muscles.

Korra pushed and pulled the water out of the bowl; adding and expanding the healing shell until it covered most of his body, soaking his clothes completely. She focused on the pressure points, and the main areas where blood circulated; cooling him down.

When he seemed to stabilize she retracted the water and sent it into the sink drain, then drew out a fresh supply. She sat next to him and sat him up, her mind was still racing, she had no idea if what she was doing was even helping him, but he looked a little calmer. So she took that as a good sign, and forged on.

With one hand she drew the water into a concentrated ball and moved it to his lips, letting a small stream trickle into his parched mouth. He apparently wasn't very far asleep because she saw his throat move as he swallowed. She continued until the ball was gone and laid him back down standing up.

After a moment of standing there watching him drift into a fitful sleep, she let out the breath she had been holding.

She really had no idea what she was doing. All she knew was she saw him collapse and she had to do something about it. But she wasn't a healer, what if something was seriously wrong with him? He had fallen pretty hard, and drove himself to the point of exhaustion. "Gah! I don't know what to do!" she put her hands on her head and squatted down next to the couch.

You come to checkup on a guy and he passes out on you, just her luck.

Korra sat like that for a while, staring at him as he slept.

She then realized that was extremely creepy and stood up, turning away from him and walking to one of the windows. Drawing the curtains aside she leaned against the sill and looked out at the bustling street beyond. It was twilight, the buildings sported lights in their windows and people were hurrying around to get home before dark.

The thought that Tenzin, Bolin, Mako, even Asami, might be worried about her not coming home yet, never once crossed her mind.

Korra turned and looked back at Tahno, he still slept, and she quickly looked away.

Silences like this, complete and empty had started to become her true enemy. In silences like these, she couldn't help but think. Think about all the things she didn't understand, and didn't want to think about. She hated them because she was the Avatar. She was supposed to be strong, and have all the answers. She was supposed to save Republic city from Amon, she was supposed to be the guiding light that would lead the terrified benders and non- benders alike back into a peace which rivaled the one from the end of the hundred year's war.

But so far, all she had done was mess things up.

The big city had captured her heart; pro bending, the sights, the sounds, the food, boys…and she had lost her way. She had become caught up in shameless publicity scandals like Tarrlok's stupid task force, and the Sato plot.

Korra kneeled down next to the window and put her forehead against the cool glass, "How am I supposed to save anyone, if I can't even save myself." Those words made Amon's face flash through her mind: that night under Aang's statue. He had her in his clutches, literally. He had made a promise to kill her, not then, but some day.

And the worst part: she believed him.

There was not one doubt in her mind that Amon could kill her as easily as swatting a fly. He was not like the Triple threat Trios, not like the guards she faced in training, he wasn't even like the chi blockers. He was untouchable and deadly. A force that could not only end her life, but the lives she carried within her. The lives of all the past and future Avatars. All of them would vanish, Aang included. What would Tenzin think? What would the people of Republic City think? What would the world think? All these people were watching her, Amon, was watching her. And it scared her. The thought made her tremble and sink down to the floor, staring blankly at it.

"Was this how Aang felt?" she wondered, as tears gathered in her eyes.

"Hey, Uh-vatar. Don't get tears on this floor, it's high class wood and water will make it bubble up and crack."

Korra's head snapped up so did her response, "I wasn't crying!" she said furiously as she wiped her eyes, cheeks coloring with embarrassment.

Tahno's eyes were on her, he was sitting up slightly, and Korra noticed his arm trembling just from supporting his weight. His eyes looked tired, but still had that quiet mocking that she remembered from first meeting him, and that heavy sadness from the police station.

Korra got up and crossed her arms defensively when he didn't respond with anything more than an eye roll. Even in the darkening room she saw his silvery eyes so clearly.

"Look, it's not my business as to why you were tearing up, so I am just gonna assume you were worried about me." He cracked a smile, "I'm flattered," But then he looked away, the purple bruise like circles beneath his eyes further veiled in shadow, "But you don't need to worry, I'm fine."

Korra considered spilling it all in that second to him. She wondered if he would listen, if he would laugh, or if he would just tell her to get out of his house. She locked eyes with him for a moment and felt the tension there. He probably wanted her out anyways.

"Whatever, I was just coming to see how you were doing," she put a hand on her hip and waved the other in the air like a fan, "Guess you're fine now, so I'll just be going. Don't wanna take up any more of your time." She turned to leave, going over to the front door, hoping he wouldn't notice the broken screen door before she was out of the house.

"Hey!" Her hand froze just before she touched the door handle, and she glanced back at him. He was sitting a little further up on the couch, his eyes half lidded, and she could see how tired he was. But none the less he sighed and rubbed the back of his head, "Look, thanks."

Relived it wasn't about the door, Korra smiled some, "No prob-"

Tahno interrupted her, "I mean it, thanks. I probably would be…pretty bad off right now if you hadn't been here," His bright eyes locked onto hers, her heart jumped, "So, meet me tomorrow in front of the pro bending arena, I'll take you to lunch."

Korra opened her mouth to protest, but something stopped her. As she turned and left she wasn't sure if it was the look in his eyes, or her own mind keeping her mouth shut.

But she was very keenly aware of the grin that stretched across her face as she stepped out onto the darkening street, and made her way home.