Hi! I'm back with yet another sad fanfic! This happens shortly after the 2007 TMNT movie. I wanted to try my hand at writing one after I read a few good ones on the site. I hope you all like it! This will be a short one-shot, and entirely Michelangelo's POV.
Disclaimer: TMNT aren't mine. If I recall correctly, they belong to Nickelodeon. Enjoy!
Returned
Was this real? Was he really home?
"Leo!"
I never thought I'd be so happy to see my older brother, and as much as I was happy to see him, I...I felt the hardest sense of fear and pain rise up from my chest. It was heavy...it was so heavy, it felt like I would suffocate...
But I shouldn't be feeling that...anymore. He's home...he's safe and sound and...home.
"Leo, you're back!" I kept saying in my head. I threw my arms about my older brother, and at that moment, I realized...I couldn't let him go.
It didn't matter what happened, what I wanted to do...
I could not let go of my oldest brother. I mean I could, but...I didn't want to.
That very night, when that flash of blue and those familiar katana swords walked in, I thought I had been dreaming, or that I'd been eating too many pizzas. But once I hugged him,once I felt familiar, warm flesh against my cheek...I knew I didn't want to be anywhere else.
I didn't want him to go away again. He has no idea how much I missed him.
I can't handle losing him to anyone... to anything...
"Dude, I'm so glad to see you!" I exclaimed, taking in his scent. Still smelled like those meditation candles he often used at night...
I didn't know I was holding on so long, but I knew I didn't want to let go. I knew what would happen if I did...my nightmares would never go away...
"Mikey, you can let go now." Leo said, his voice music to my ears. I loved the sound...he saved me from many a night from nightmares, but the last two years...they were pure hell...
All of those two years without Leo were pure hell...
'We needed you here, Bro...I needed you here...'
"Mikey? Can you let go now, please?" his soft voice asked again. I needed to think of something, quick!
"N-No!"
Leo gave me a skeptical look- I could feel it on my ever growing blush that was coming on my cheeks. The idea that I was gonna blurt out my mouth...I mean, I did have nightmares about them, but it wasn't something I'd plan to...you know, say aloud.
"I...I...I had a nightmare last night." I sheepishly said.
I felt Leo's arms wrap tight around me. "About what, Mike?"
And that was when I blurted out the first thing I could think of- "Uh, birthday parties, man! They were horrible!"
Above me, Leo laughed, and I smiled to myself. Feeling Leo's chest moving as he laughed, just actually hearing him do that...it was what I missed most about my big brother.
"Birthday parties? Was it that bad?"
I nodded. And it fell quiet for a few more precious moments before Leo asked me something else.
"Mikey? Mikey, are you sure that was all? Your shoulders are trembling."
I knew that. But I didn't really want to talk about it, so I shook my head no and tried to get my body to respond to me.
But there is a reason why Leo's the big brother. He's quick on things like this...things that concern us...
"Mike? Is everything okay?"
"Y-Yeah..." I sniffed, burying my face in his chest. "I just...missed you, that's all."
Leo nodded. "I missed you all, too. You have no idea how much I wanted to see you all. How much I wished you were all here with me. It was...strange not having my brothers by my side. A very strange feeling."
Leo let his hand linger on my shell for a moment while I tried to word the next question that was in my head.
"Leo?"
"Hmmm?"
I finally pried my face away the safety of his warm chest and looked at him. "Would...would you ever leave us again? You know...like before?" I asked quietly.
Leo blinked before he asked me what I was talking about. I looked away.
"I just...I just don't want to lose you again. None of us do...so that's why I..."
Leo leaned a bit closer. "Mikey, what's really the matter? I know birthday parties weren't the only things that were scaring you."
I felt my throat closing, and I simply buried my face in Leo's chest, not wanting to answer that question.
"Nothing..."
Leo silently stroked my shell. I still couldn't muster up the courage to say what I wanted. And personally, until Leo asked his next question, I would have preferred not to.
"Mikey, you were afraid, weren't you?"
Sometimes, I hated when Leo was right. And this was definitely one of those times. But...I mean...
Leo's always comforted me before, but that was when I was actually a kid...when I didn't understand why I felt what I felt, why I was scared of everything in the dark.
Strangely enough, nothing changed.
I'm still and child, and I still need my older brothers to comfort me and pull me out of my nightmares. I'm the baby of them all, and snuggling under Leo, I realized that no matter what...I didn't want him to push me away.
I guess me trying to be strong wasn't really fooling Leo. It was barely fooling me, and I thought I was doing a good job of it for the past two years...
I must of let out a gasp or reacted, because Leo chucked and confirmed what I think I sorta knew already.
"Mikey, when something's bothering you, you usually keep it to yourself. I know you well enough that I usually have to pry it out of you. But..."
Leo pulled back a bit and tilted his head.
"But then again, I was never here to tell you that, was I, little brother? I'm so sorry you had to fight your nightmares alone. I want to make things right, but I can't unless you tell me what you really fear."
I looked at Leo. He really can't get that stupid line out of his head, can he?
He did this for us! Everything he ever did was always for our well-being, to make sure that we would always be alright, even if he wasn't here! He never cared about himself... and I hated that.
"Leo, I...I..."
Leo pulled me back into his embrace. "You what, Mikey? Talk to me."
And of course, when he said that, just like all those years he had to comfort me...I broke down and told him.
"I was afraid I was losing all of you...and I...I didn't know what I should do. It was scary because I felt alone. I didn't want to feel like that b-because I know we love each other, but...it was like...first you weren't here, and Father couldn't control Raphie...and I felt scared because I was lost...I didn't know what I should do, or who I should talk to..."
I blubbered as I continued to pour out my hurt onto my oldest brother. "Leo, we were a wreck! We were all a serious wreck! Raphie and Donny...they kept fighting, and I...I was just... we needed you around here, Leo...I needed you, and you...you weren't here..."
I couldn't talk anymore; I was crying too much. I think my mask was soaked with tears by now, but I didn't care.
I felt a bit better telling Leo what was going on in my heart, but I wasn't sure what would happen now. Maybe I am being a big crybaby...
"Mikey...I didn't mean to stay away from you guys so long. But I needed to train, to become stronger. I have to protect you guys. You should know that by now."
At that, my head snapped up. I didn't need him to start that speech again. Honestly, I was sick of it.
"Leo, when are you going to understand that you are fine just the way you are? We're not babies anymore, okay! I know you're the oldest, and I know you feel like you have some kind of obligation to protect us, but the fact is, we're old enough to handle ourselves! You're our brother, Leo! That's all you've always been to us! Leader, sure, but you're part of our family, not some military person! We love you for you, Leo! You're our brother! And we...we need our older brother around here, to boss us around, to comfort us all, to tell us that some things will be alright...to keep us all together as a family..."
I broke down crying yet as I finished the last part. "We love you, no matter how much training you do, no matter how many mistakes you make. You're not perfect... no one is, and I hate the fact you do that. And...and you need to see that, Leo...see who you really are to all of us...because sometimes, it-it doesn't seem like...you get it..."
Leo didn't say anything, and I thought that I'd lost him for good. I got up and I was about to run to my room and stay there until I fell asleep, but Leo grabbed my wrist and stood up.
"You're my brother, Leo...and I love you." I whispered to him.
Leo nodded, and actually helped me to me room. He laid me down on the bed before sitting next to me. After I let out the last of my tears, I curled up against him.
I couldn't remember ever feeling so exhausted before just by crying. I couldn't remember crying this much, even as a kid. But something about this whole ordeal just really took a lot out of me. And Leo felt a lot warmer than before...maybe I should just sleep...
"Mikey... I don't want you to feel that way. Not you. You...sometimes, you remind me of the reason why I fight for you all. I love all of you, you know that, right?"
I nodded.
"I just...I feel like, as the oldest, Splinter gave me a task that, although I never regret in a day in my life, I wonder if what I'm doing really is for the best. But...you make me see that I don't need to protect you from every little thing. We've fought Shredder, we've fought Karai who-knows how many times, and we all come back alive and in one piece. I guess I don't always see what I'm doing to you all, and these past two years... I've had time to think about all of us."
He looked at me. "What were you thinking about?"
He smiled. "The fact that you all learn and grow, even if I'm not here. You guys don't need me here, Mike. You're old enough to handle yourselves."
I felt my hand tighten around his. "It doesn't matter, Leo. We may act like we don't need you, but we still do. We will always need you, Leo. And we will always love you. So don't talk like you're about to die or something, okay?"
Leo chuckled again. "Deal."
I yawned, and Leo looked at me, amused. "Tired, little bro?"
I nodded, but there was one other thing I wanted to ask.
"Can you...stay here tonight? Please?"
Leo didn't answer; he got under the covers and allowed me to cuddle in his side. Right now, he has no idea how much this means to me...
"Thanks, Leo."
"Of course."
"B-Bro?"
"Hmmm?"
"Promise me something."
"Anything, little brother."
I yawned again, and closed my eyes. Sleep really does seem like a likely thing, especially since Leo's here...
"Promise that you won't leave us alone."
Leo let out a small gasp. "M-Mikey...what-"
"It was my biggest nightmare. Losing you... I could never handle losing you, Leo. I...I wouldn't know what to do..." I whispered.
"Mike, Death is a natural part of life. It's not something we get to choose. I can't choose whether or not you or me dies or whether Raph and Donny lives. It's just...the way life is."
Leo sighed. "It's never easy, believe me. In North America, I witnessed some deaths that shook me to my very soul. And I thought about you guys, and I feared for your safety. You're right about what you said earlier. You guys aren't kids anymore, which is why you guys will be alright without me, Mikey. You all are strong together, and always have been. But...I don't...I don't think I'd want to live if any one of you died."
Leo...I was barely awake, but I could hear the sadness in his voice...
"I'm not afraid to die, Mikey. But I'm afraid to lose any of you. That's what scares me the most."
I cringed. "Leo...I don't want you to die...but you're right. But the next time you go on another trip, promise to at least keep in touch. So that I...know you didn't die on us yet."
Leo laughed softly. "Yes, Mikey. I promise."
He was still laughing as I drifted further into unconsciousness. "I promise that I'll always be there for you all...and that you will not have to suffer and cry at night by yourself. I promise that I'll always be there for you, to take away your pain, your sadness."
Leo let out a yawn, but I chuckled and let my mind float off. He should be tired...it seemed like it was late, anyway.
I let out a soft sigh, Leo's final promise the last thing I heard before sleep completely took me. Finally, my true nightmare is over. I have my family together once again. I have...myself, in a way.
Now that Leo's back, maybe we can fix our soul, heal what was broken between us...finally be a family like we used to.
We're gonna be alright now. We're home.
We're all finally home.
END