A/N: This is what would happen if Akira were to enroll in any high school other than the abnormal one portrayed in Tsuritama, because let's face it, folks - it's kind of creepy.

Akira ascended the stairs into Enoshima High School with a silent determination. He had his turban tightly secured onto his head, made sure his tie was straight, and smoothed down Tapioca's feathers to prepare for the day. His first day out on the field.

His mission was simple - kept tabs on the escaped aliens and report any suspicious behavior straight back to his superiors. His instructions were to lay low and blend in as much as possible, to be inconspicuous, and he thought that he had achieved the goal of camouflage quite well. He was wearing the school uniform, after all.

However, he soon learned that simply changing his clothes would not be enough to keep him from sticking out. On his first day, he had entered the classroom and introduced himself, just as anyone would do, but for some reason, he got more than a few incredulous stares. Why was that, he wondered? Did his tie come loose again?

"Is that a real duck?" someone whispered as he made his way to his seat. He was tempted to turn and explain to the young boy that, yes, Tapioca was a real duck, and that it was just silly of him to think that Akira would be carrying a fake duck around with him.

"Did he say he was 25?" another whisper said. "Eeek! Creepy!"

Akira was again tempted to speak, and apologize apathetically for not being able to control his age and magically make himself younger. Really, if he could, he would. These were some dim children.

He seated himself in the designated seat, near the alien and some red-headed boy who immediately shied away from him. Akira paid him no mind, focusing his gaze on the alien; it glanced back at him with a slightly frightened look, then snapped its blonde head back forward. That's right, Akira thought. I'm watching you.

The lesson passed on normally, save for the occasional glance stolen by the children in Akira's direction. Some looked curious, some looked confused, some looked frightened - no matter who looked at him, Akira never felt anyone giving him a sense of welcome. Well, these children were rude, too.

Class lasted longer than Akira liked - all the stares were making him quite uncomfortable, and Tapioca was getting antsy after sitting in his lap for so long - and he gave a silent sigh of relief as the end bell rang. If he had to do this every day, listening to lectures about things he already knew and receiving unkind stares from every person in the room, he didn't know how long he could keep it up.

He waited for the alien to rise out of its chair before he made any move to leave. It jumped up from its desk and spun around to face the red-head behind him and began to happily chat away. When it noticed Akira still watching them, however, it grabbed a hold of the boy's hand and attempted to lead him out of the room.

Akira immediately stood to follow them, but was held up behind a group of gabbing girls blocking the door. "Excuse me," he tried to say, but they paid him no mind, too immersed in their pointless conversation. In order to get their attention, he reached for the nearest girl to give her a tap on the shoulder. One of the other girls looked up, saw his hand moving towards her friend.

"A-Anna, behind you..." she stuttered, obviously frightened, but by what, Akira hadn't the slightest clue.

The girl Akira was reaching towards whipped around and met him face to face. She stared with wide, frightened eyes, first at Akira's face, then at his hand, still suspended in the air and much too close to her for comfort.

"Excuse m-"

The girl screamed. The other girls followed suit - they screamed louder than a flock of gulls on the ocean, and jumped far back away from Akira with fright and suspicion in their eyes. Startled by all the commotion, Tapioca began to quack loudly along with them, only adding to the noise. Akira glared down at the duck in annoyance.

"Hey, what's going on?" the teacher called from the other side of the classroom. He dropped his papers on his desk and rushed over to the group. "Girls, what's wrong?"

"Get away, you creep!" the girl yelled at Akira, swatting a notebook in his direction. "Pedophile!"

Akira backed away, surprised at the girl's accusation. Pedophile? What on Earth had he done to deserve such a title?

That day, Akira was escorted out of the class by the teacher, and advised not to interact with any of the girls in the class. Ever. Akira was quite vexed about the way he was being treated; he had done nothing wrong at all. He thought that he had presented himself to the class as a normal, respectable student, as they were. It was they who chose to treat him so unjustly.

Just because Akira was 25 and enrolled in a high school full of teenage kids, did not mean that he was a pedophile.