Hey all!
I'M BA-ACK! And I'm better than ever!
Yeah, yeah, I know, I should be updating the Mark of Athena. And I'll do that now! But this came to me while I was on vacation and I just HAD to write it! This should be a series of one-shots, maybe one for every year of Percy's life? Or maybe I'll just do random stuff. I DON'T REALLY KNOW!
Such is the beauty of fanfiction.
DISCLAIMER: The person who wrote this sentence does not own PJO. And since Rick Riordan did not write this sentence, well, then... I DO NOT OWN PJO! No matter how much I wish I did... I'M PRETTY SURE YOU CAN FIGURE OUT THE REST!
Enjoy the story!
ATHENA had the perfect life. She was smart, gorgeous, a virgin, and Zeus's favorite daughter! She got to carry his shield, for the love of Apollo! If that didn't earn her brownie points, what did? There was that annoying uncle of hers, Poseidon, but who cared about him? Besides the people he killed out of anger. And Aphrodite was always trying to give her a makeover, but with her amazing brain and wonderful talents, Athena managed to elude her every time.
Also, she had never been a teenager. She was born fully grown and with her chosen profession already in position. And everyone knew that teenagers were the most difficult of all the human beings on earth. Just take a look at her children! Always complaining about being eaten by monsters. The ungrateful little brats.
But, as in all stories with a plot line, the paradise that was Athena's life was about to change forever...
"IT'S A BOY!" Poseidon shouted, running into the room. His hair was mussed and he was panting, like he had run all the way to Olympus. "IT'S A BOY!"
All of the gods were assembled at Olympus, except Hades, who was dealing with his mood swings down in the Underworld. Apollo was in the process of creating Justin Bieber for all fangirls everywhere. Zeus was looking at a Playboy magazine. Aphrodite was applying makeup. Hephaestus was creating the iPod. Artemis was randomly shooting arrows at stuff. Hera was planning to ruin a bunch of demigods' lives. Dionysus was whining about being sent back to Camp Half-Blood. Demeter was forcing cereal onto Hermes, who was trying to stop George from eating his shoe. And Athena was reading a book from the Tres Navarre series by Rick Riordan. It was actually quite good, for a mortal man. Athena made a mental note to pay Mr. Riordan a visit later, bookmarked her page and turned to stare at Poseidon like everyone else.
"Um... what are you talking about...?" Zeus looked like he had a sneaking suspicion that wasn't the best one to have. Athena was pretty sure she had the same one.
Poseidon immediately blushed, then paled, turning bright red again, and white as a sheet before stuttering, "W-what... uh... nothing... nothing at all..."
Athena looked at Zeus. Zeus looked at Hera. Hera looked at Apollo. Apollo looked at Aphrodite. Aphrodite looked at Artemis. Artemis looked at Dionysus. Dionysus looked at Demeter. Demeter looked at Hermes. Hermes turned his head and looked at no one because there was no one standing beside him.
Then they all jumped on Poseidon.
"Hey... hey... whoa!" Poseidon yelled as he collapsed under a pile of immortals.
In about five seconds, Hermes, Hephaestus, Artemis, and Athena had pinned his arms and legs to the ground. Apollo was shining a light at Poseidon's face. Zeus and Hera were dressed up in police inspector's gear, while Aphrodite was taking notes on her mirror in lipstick. Demeter was making everyone bowls of cereal and Dionysus was tipping around the throne room.
"Poseidon," Zeus said. "Do you know why you are in this position?"
"Uh... no?" Poseidon said. "And why are you guys doing this?"
"Number one," Hermes said. "We're bored. Number two, we're curious as to what you meant. And number three, we're bored."
"You said that already."
"Oh, yeah."
"STOP AVOIDING THE QUESTION!" Zeus bellowed. "WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY SCREAMING, 'IT'S A BOY!' WHEN YOU TRAIPSED IN HERE! ANSWER!"
"Um... I... uh... I meant... Triton's a boy!"
"No duh," Athena said.
Poseidon looked at all of them. "Fine. What I meant was... I have a son! A demigod son!"
...
...
...
Dead silence.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
"WILL YOU STOP THAT!" Zeus screamed.
...
...
...
..- "HERMES!"
"Sorry."
"It's true," Poseidon said. Then he got mad. "And don't you dare yell at me, Zeus! We all know you have two demigod children as of right now! And from the same mortal, too!"
"WHAT?" Everyone else gasped at Zeus.
Zeus was suddenly pinned on the investigation table, Hera glaring down at him.
"What do you mean, you have two demigod children! What are their names and ages and WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!"
"Now, my love, don't jump to conclusions... I mean, Poseidon hasn't exactly told us what's going on either!" While Hera considered that, Zeus hissed to Poseidon, "That was told to you strictly in confidence while we were both drunk a few weeks ago!"
"I heard that!" Hera snapped.
"Alright, my dear heart. I do have two demigod children, Thalia and Jason. Thalia is almost ten and Jason is just a few months old... it was nothing, my darling, just a summer fling... except for the fact that Thalia was born in December, and Jason was born in May, but... at least I can admit it!" Zeus finished.
"Hey, I admitted it too! I have a son! His name is Percy. Percy Jackson." Poseidon looked very pleased with himself.
"You IDIOT!" Athena slapped Poseidon. "You just gave yourself away!"
"Oops." Poseidon said.
Inside, Athena was raging. Another son of Kelp Head. It was bad enough when it was just Poseidon himself. But a MINI-POSEIDON! That was waaayyy over Athena's limit.
The gods had punished Poseidon for breaking his oath by listening to an hour of songs from, "Barney! The Musical." After about five minutes, he was begging for mercy, but as Zeus eloquently put it, "YOU'LL BE DOING THAT WITH YOUR SON SOON ENOUGH, YOU LITTLE *bleep*!"
Athena, meanwhile, had retired to her chambers, where she proceeded to throw a couple of her least favorite pencils out of the window, where they hit an unfortunate Hermes on the head as he was walking below her room.
Athena regained control of her anger and took some deep breath, doing some of the calming exercises that Demeter had recommended so that Athena would stop blowing up her garden. However, Athena remained calm for a grand total of about three seconds before roaring in rage, morphing into a giant owl and flying off Olympus and down to the mortal world.
She was going to pay a little visit on Poseidon's baby son.
Athena the giant owl landed on an apartment windowsill. Inside, she could see a young woman with brown hair and eyes rocking a bundle in her arms. Athena could hear her crooning a lullaby to the bundle, which Athena assumed was the baby.
"Perseus," the woman lulled. "Perseus, go to sleep. Go to sleep, my baby, so you can become a hero when you get older. Go to sleep." She kissed the baby's forehead and placed him gently in a crib. She left the room, stopping in the doorway briefly to look lovingly at her sleeping son.
Athena magically made the window exploded. Okay, fine, she just punctured it with her beak and flew into the room, perching on the crib rail and glowering down at the baby.
He was small, tiny, cute even, with raven black hair. His small chest moved up and down as he slept away. His tiny hands were curled into fists, like he was dreaming of grabbing someone's finger.
Athena reached down to snatch up his blanket, carry him off and go drown him or drop him off a skyscraper or something. Hey, this was New York, she could afford to be creative. But right as she started to lift off into the sky, the baby woke up.
His bright green eyes bored into her gray owl-y ones. He stared at her silently, then reached a small hand out, patting the feathers on Athena's neck.
Athena dropped the blanket. She couldn't hurt a child. She just couldn't. It was against her wise nature. Hera was the one who enjoyed murdering children and turning their mothers into molten sludge. Sure, there was that little spat with Arachne (her children HATED that one) and of course, Poseidon... and that one pizza guy who hadn't gotten her order right... and the girl at McDonalds who hadn't given her a toy with her Happy Meal... oh, and the time she blasted that kid into pieces, just because he was annoying... and sometimes she punished her children... but STILL! Athena wasn't a killer. And she couldn't kill a defenseless baby, even if he was a child of Poseidon.
She stroked the baby's tiny head with her wing. He gurgled softly, eyes closing.
When Athena was sure he was asleep again, she spread her wings and took off. In a flash, she was back at Olympus, feeling much better.
Athena decided to go visit some of her other children, being the kind, compassionate mother that she was. Hmmm, there were her kids at Camp Half-Blood, Daedalus down in the Labyrinth... oh! There was her three month old baby girl in Virginia. Athena decided to visit her and her father. Ah, Frederick. He was always good for a mad science discussion.
As Athena teleported to the Chase residence somewhere in Virginia, she thought to herself, Maybe this little boy wouldn't be so bad...
Yeah, right.
Well, then...
Athena actually DOESN'T kill Percy on sight! Le gasp! I don't really know how much older Annabeth is then Percy, so I made it about three months. I know the gods are OOC, but that is on purpose! It's supposed to be FUNNY! So, hoped you liked it! I'll update soonish! Leave a review, and all flames belong to Leo!