I say my hell is the closet I'm stuck in.
-Dave Matthews Band

Ever since the fight in the Ark where everything became undone and unmade only to burst out into exploding lights of fire, Lavi had been a bit… off.

Allen and Lenalee were subtle in their exchanges with Lavi, having been witnesses as to when Road took command of his mind and body. They never talked about it except in their mission reports to Komui. Besides that, they never mentioned about how Lavi had been taken by the enemy, forced to bend to the other's will despite the headstrong stubborn attitude the redhead had.

It was after everything had settled down and the akuma threat inside their beloved home had been taken care of that anyone noticed the comings and goings of Lavi.

First, it was Johnny. He had reported that he had seen the redhead wandering around the upper levels of the castle they were living in, the parts which were taped off because of crumpling ceilings and fallen structures that obscured pathways. The anxious scientist had cried out when he saw Lavi standing on the ledge of one of the gaping holes in the castle wall, staring down at the land below, as if gauging the distance, with his head cocked at an angle. The younger had moved one foot towards the exorcist when the redhead had whipped his head around in one sharp movement, an inexplicable expression on his face, and he had backed away from the ledge to give a hollow smile towards the scientist whose heart had leapt up to his throat.

Next, it was Reever who went up to Komui one day, asking him if Lavi was all right.

The Chief Officer's eyebrows had flew upwards and his eyes had narrowed as he listened to Reever's story about how he had went to the bathroom one day and found a shattered mirror and Lavi standing before it, breathing hard as if he had ran through several marathons nonstop.

When asked if everything was all right, Lavi had looked up in surprise as if he was not aware that he was the one who punched the mirror in the first place. He had given a tight smile towards Reever before stalking out of the bathroom without a single word.

Then, it was Jerry who bought up his concerns that Lavi was hardly eating, getting a dish of food but seconds later, handing it back to the chief, saying that he didn't have the appetite. Even when he did get a plate of food and sat down with the rest of them, Jerry had noticed that Lavi would discreetly shove his plate into Allen's mountainous horde of food after eating just a few bites.

All these were observed by Lenalee and Allen and there was nothing they could say when Jerry inquired about Lavi's health one day when Allen had came back from a rather harrowing mission.

"He's so skinny already! Do you know what's wrong with the poor boy?"

Allen had made a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat before backing away hastily, sending helpless glances towards Lenalee who had joined Allen for a midnight snack. Both had been cornered by Bookman earlier and advised to not say anything about Lavi because the elder had 'everything under control.'

The chef was still waiting for an answer and Lenalee's forehead creased as she wringed her hands in a distraught manner, not wanting to betray her friend's delicate situation but wanting to ease Jerry's mind at the same time.
They were both saved from answering when the person in question slinked into the cafeteria, Bookman at his side.

"Hello you two!," trilled out Jerry who flapped his hand at the approaching duo. His hand stopped waving when Bookman just dipped a nod of greeting in return and Lavi just stared blankly at the chef before turning around as if intent on marching out of the cafeteria.

Allen and Lenalee exchanged uneasy glances at their friend's behaviour as Bookman barked out a "Stop" which seemed to resound throughout the large room- there was hardly anybody around the cafeteria considering it was late, nearing midnight.

Lavi's movement abruptly jerked to a stop, just as Bookman commanded, and he turned around to fix his single eye on his mentor who seemed to be having a silent conversation with his apprentice.

Several seconds ticked by before Lavi walked forward woodenly to stand besides Bookman once again and the elder gave a huff as he smacked the younger on the back of his head, muttering "Get your act together."

Jerry did not have a moment to hide his surprise before Bookman was before him, asking for a plate of apple curry and miso soup. The chef hastened to make the orders and Allen and Lenalee shifted at the sudden and awkward silence that befell the group waiting for food.

The pause was broken when Lenalee ventured out to say, "Lavi, how have you been?"

Allen's lips pulsed together to form a thin line and his hands fidgeted in his jacket pocket as he stepped closer towards Lenalee who seemed to be waiting with bated breath for an answer.

Lavi sent a glance towards Bookman, too quick to be noticeable but there nonetheless, and said rather stiffly, "I'm fine."

They all lapsed into silence again as Lavi's face seem to close on itself, sending out a rather guarded aura, and Lenalee couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief when Jerry came into view again, carrying plates of food, breaking the uncomfortable tension.

"Now here you go! Four plates of sunny side eggs with a side of bacon, ham, and sausage and a tall glass of orange for Allen. Three hard boiled eggs sprinkled with soy sauce and a warm glass of milk with honey for the Lady Lenalee. And one apple curry and miso soup for Bookman."

Handing the food to their respective person, Jerry retreated towards the kitchen. Allen and Lenalee sat down on a nearby table and Lavi, to their surprise, sat down next to Allen whose jaw dropped open before he snapped it shut at Lenalee's glare.

Bookman settled down across from his apprentice and Allen was halfway through his second dish before he realized something.

"Lavi, you're not getting food?"

Lenalee's head shot up from where she had been daintily eating her eggs while Bookman seemed nonchalant as he continued to spoon curry into his mouth.

A muffled answer was given as Lavi had his head down on the table, his scarf half dangling off and trailing on the floor. "Not hungry."

Lenalee's voice was calm even though her face showed traces of alarming concern for her friend. "But you haven't eaten anything all day! I didn't see you at breakfast or lunch!"

The same response was given. "Not hungry."

Lenalee and Allen sent helpless glances at each other, unsure of what to do. The girl opened her mouth again, probably to nag Lavi to get some food, when she was cut off by a scraping sound. Bookman had shoved his bowl of miso soup in front of his apprentice, the liquid nearly sloshing out of its container with the force it was pushed.

"Eat."

This one word made Lavi stiffen as his back became rigid and his head popped up from his arms with a rather sour look on his face, his lips curling downwards in the universal sign of displeasure.

"But I'm not hungry."

An arched eyebrow was sent his way as his mentor set down his spoon with a definite 'clank', the sound reverberating throughout the room.

"I said, eat."

A pause as Lavi just stared at Bookman who stared right back, iron resolve in his eyes.

Lavi's single eye darkened for a moment before he reached out to gingerly wrap his fingers around the bowl and tipped its content towards his mouth, his brows furrowing, showing his reluctance.

When finished, Lavi quickly deposited the empty bowl onto Bookman's tray with a flourish, as if to demonstrate exactly how he felt. Bookman did nothing but continued to calmly work his way through his curry, only pausing long enough to say, "I want those Turkish poems transcribed by the time I get back up there."

His apprentice just mumbled what had to be an acknowledgement for Bookman let him exit the room without another word.

Silence once again filled the room and Allen proceeded to drown himself in his food as to get away from the uneasy tension. Lenalee went back to her food, eyes darting between Bookman and the door where Lavi had exit from, as if she could find some hidden meaning as to why her friend was behaving the way he was.

It was not until when Bookman finished his curry that Lenalee said something.

"Um, Bookman?" Her voice was hesitant, as if she was unsure as whether to ask him or not.

The elder set his eyes on the girl, his gaze heavy, showing her that she had his undivided attention.

"Is everything… okay?"

Bookman's eyes seem to grow more hooded at the question. "Everything is fine."

"Lavi doesn't look fine."

At this point, Allen had ceased shoveling food into his mouth like a mad man and had slowed down enough to listen in on the conversation. Food sprayed out of his mouth as he nodded consent at what Lenalee said.

"Yea. Lavi's been acting weird ever since…"

His words trailed off awkwardly, not wanting to mention what it was exactly that made Lavi's attitude change 180 degrees.

Lenalee picked up his thoughts, her words spewing out fast and hot.

"Lavi hasn't been eating and he's been wandering around restricted areas all the time. Do you know what's troubling him? If so, you should tell us! We're his friends! We can help him!"

Bookman's eyes narrowed at her words as he stood up, tray in hand.

"My apprentice," he said, "is fine."

Then he was walking away, setting his tray on top of the garbage can, and he was out the door without another glance backwards towards the duo who was staring with incredulous expressions on their faces.

Later on, as they both made their way out of the cafeteria, it was Allen who realized it.

Just as Lenalee walked several steps down a separate corridor towards her own room, Allen caught her wrist, his eyebrows knotting together.

"Bookman said 'my apprentice is fine.' Does he mean Lavi or Bookman Junior?"

- Hope this makes sense. I wanted to define that there is a distinct difference between Lavi and Bookman Junior. After the Arc, I cannot imagine that neither persona were not affected by what Road said so I just twisted it to a slightly darker version where Lavi, the 49th persona, is still there but he's buried deep inside and Bookman Junior has come out to shield Lavi. Or something along those lines. It makes so much more sense in my head.

- Reviews are much appreciated!