A/N: The Citadel and the Mass Relays are not destroyed in the final battle, and Shepard faces off with Harbinger instead of killing himself with the Crucible (simple explanation I know, hopefully I can clear some things up later).

Chapter 1

Back in the Fight

"I'd die for you Shepard, you know that."

"It's just not that simple, Kaidan, I have my job and you have yours."

"At least take me with you. You know I can fight, let me help you."

"Stay here Kaidan, that's an order."

"Kaidan, are you okay? You've hardly touched your food." Kaidan blinked and looked over at June, his fork twirling haphazardly between his fingers. When he realized he had been staring down at a knot in the wooden table, Kaidan straightened up and put the fork back on his plate.

"Sorry," he said with a sigh, "I was just… thinking." He smiled apologetically at her, but it was a halfhearted gesture. Unsure of what to say, he ruffled his hair with his hand and took a drink of water the waiter had just refilled.

June reached across the table suddenly and grabbed his hand, causing Kaidan to raise his eyebrows at her. "Kaidan, if this is too awkward for you, I'd be happy to leave. Liara told me you might not be up for it."

Kaidan tried his best to act nonchalant, and he put his hand on top of hers, reassuring her that it was fine and he appreciated the company. Jane was a beautiful woman, and he could tell that she was interested in him, but he couldn't bring himself to feel like it was going to go anywhere. Liara had noticed that he had kept to himself lately, and she had set him up with a few dates in the hope he could distract himself. Kaidan hadn't told her the real reason he was depressed, he figured she thought it was the aftermath of the war, but he was thankful she was trying so hard to find him someone. With that thought in mind, Kaidan reached down and took another bite of his steak, making small talk with June about the upcoming Blasto movie.

They finished their dinner on a happier note, and June even asked him if he would like to go see the new movie when it came out. He figured that it wouldn't hurt and promised her that he would go with her opening day. The night had been enjoyable, after all, but as they approached his apartment on the Citadel Kaidan began to feel the awkward rippling back into their date.

"It was really great meeting you Kaidan," June said, turning around to face him. Kaidan gulped and looked off into the distance, choosing to focus on a red mailbox across the street. Before he could react, Jane stood on her toes and kissed him on the cheek, her face completely relaxed as she did. "I can't wait for that Blasto movie!" She smiled at him fully and walked off his steps, waving back at him as she turned onto the sidewalk. Kaidan waved back at her with a smile, but he frowned as he got his key out of his pocket, thinking that the date might not have been the best idea after all.

"I'll just tell her tomorrow," Kaidan muttered under his breath before inserting the card into his door and opening it. "Hey Liara."

Liara was laying casually on his sofa in a white evening dress, drinking a glass of wine and listening to some music. "It makes me worried that you're expecting me," she said, smiling at him and sitting up. "How did it go with Jane?"

Kaidan shrugged off his jacket and joined her on the opposite sofa, pouring himself a glass of wine. "You tell me, Shadow Broker."

Liara looked offended, but Kaidan could tell she was just playing with him. "Shadow Brokers don't waste time and resources following around a lonely Spectre," she said. "I'm being serious, how did it go? She's very pretty."

Kaidan shrugged and looked over at his fish tank sadly. "She was fine, I just-" Kaidan struggled to find the right words, "wasn't interested."

Liara leaned over the coffee table and scrutinized him closely, her blue eyes boring into him. Kaidan avoided her gaze by taking a sip of wine but when he looked back she was still staring at him. "What?" he said, annoyed. Liara flashed him an evil grin. "Do I have to set you up with a guy, Alenko?"

Kaidan turned beet red and nearly spilled his wine with his reaction. "Wh-where did you get that idea from?" he stammered. Liara winked knowingly and got up, heading into his kitchen. "Liara!" Kaidan shouted after her before following her into the kitchen.

"Are you telling me that it isn't true, Kaidan?" she said, rummaging around in his refrigerator. Kaidan glared at her as she glanced back at him, a constant smile gracing her cobalt lips. "Of course it isn't true," Kaidan said, growling at her.

Liara sighed heavily as she pulled out a piece of cake for herself. "It's been eight dates now Kaidan, we need to talk." She offered him a slice but Kaidan still stood stark still, staring at her and biting his lower lip. "There's nothing wrong with me Liara, I'm fine. It's not like you have anyone either." He immediately regretted saying it but she didn't seem to mind.

"Kaidan," Liara said, looking at him over the counter. "When are you going to trust me?"

The question took him off guard. Liara was one of his best friends; they'd known each other for years and even had some of the same interests. "I'm not sure I know what you mean," he said, trying hard to sound sincere.

Liara just huffed at him and stalked back to the sofa, cake in tow. Kaidan followed her reluctantly, wishing that this conversation could take a more pleasant turn. When he sat down, she jabbed her fork at him and said, "No more playing nice, Kaidan. No offense, but you aren't as secretive as you think. I saw your picture of Shepard on your night stand two weeks ago, time to come clean with me."

Kaidan squirmed under her stare but remained defensive. "Shepard is a great friend; we've been through a lot together. Why can't I have a little picture of him to commemorate that?" He bit his lip again, hoping that Liara wouldn't notice the lack of conviction in his voice.

Instead, she laughed in his face. "Oh come on Liara," Kaidan said, pouting. "How can one little picture mean anything?"

She took a bite of cake while she tried to stop sniggering and managed to force it down with a cough. "Are you forgetting who I am? Besides, everyone knows you've been interested in Shepard since the moment you met him."

Kaidan opened his mouth for a retort but Liara silenced him immediately. "I've seen the way you look at him and I've done my research. Admit it and we can get to my real question."

Kaidan looked long and hard at Liara, but her face didn't reveal everything. He knew what she said was perfectly true, but he had a hard time admitting it after everything that happened between them. He thought he had a chance with Shepard, that maybe Shepard cared enough about him to give him that chance.

Every date he'd gone on since they defeated the Reapers he had thought about Shepard. The closest thing Kaidan could compare it with was that Kaidan was cheating on him. None of the people he'd met had seemed right. Sure, he'd had a couple of girlfriends before the war, but Shepard shattered his earlier convictions. Admittedly, the reason none of them had a chance was because none of them were Shepard.

"Ok Liara, fine, you caught me. Can you please leave now?"

Satisfied with her screening of him, she sat back on the sofa and took a long draught of her wine. "No," she said matter-of-factly. "What are you going to do about him?"

"Well," Kaidan said gloomily. "I already told him how I feel, back on the Citadel when we were still fighting that crazy war." Kaidan sank back in the sofa and stared up at the ceiling as he talked. "He wanted to keep things… professional." He spat out the last word like it was a curse and buried himself in his glass, not trusting himself to look at Liara.

She contemplated for a moment and shook her head at him. "I already know about that Kaidan," she said, ignoring his affronted grunt. "I was asking what you were going to do about it now."

"You knew about that the whole time and you still set me up with seven women?" Kaidan shook his head, disbelieving. "I thought I knew you, Liara."

"Eight, actually," she said calmly. "I thought you could move on, honestly. I didn't know you cared about him this much." She gave him warm smile and popped another piece of cake in her mouth.

"You love torturing me, don't you Liara." Kaidan tried to look mad at her but couldn't help smiling at her attitude and what she had tried to do for him. Liara broke through his shell so quickly he couldn't help but feel like she planned everything out beforehand. Knowing Liara, she definitely did.

"Now," Liara said, dusting off her hands of any remaining cake bits. "Tell me how you are going to go about seducing the great Commander Shepard."

"Liara!" Kaidan said, but by now it was less of angry yell than a playful chastisement. She continued to bore into him with her gaze, however, and Kaidan sighed. "I don't know, Liara. He made it pretty clear before."

"Make him like you," she said simply.

This time it was Kaidan's turn to laugh but he stopped when he saw that she was being quite serious. "You make it sound so easy."

"You make it sound so difficult." Kaidan raised his eyebrows at her but she waved him away and switched sides of the sofa so she was sitting next to him. She placed her wine carefully on the marble table and grabbed both of his hands, placing hers on top of them.

"You're special Kaidan, and if you show him how much you care about him he's bound to feel something too."

"I don't know Liara, what if I make it worse?" He had considered this possibility many times, especially because when he had confessed to Shepard before he felt he had lost a piece of their friendship.

"Enough with the 'I don't know Liara's,' you have to stop doubting yourself or you won't make it anywhere." She let go of his hands and walked over to her personal data pad, scanning through its database. She evidently found what she was looking for and went back to Kaidan happily.

"Shepard has a meeting with Primarch Vakarian at noon this Saturday. Afterwards, he and his subordinates will have lunch out on the promenade of Zakera Ward level ten. I want you to go there and meet with Shepard, but it wouldn't hurt to try and associate with Garrus first."

"Is that all?" Kaidan said, apprehensive but excited at the same time.

"No, I want you to wear these," Liara said, pulling out a pair of black slacks and a formal alliance uniform.

"Liara I do own formal clothes," Kaidan said, exasperated.

She stared him down again, and with all serious said "These will show off your ass better. Bend over. A lot." Kaidan couldn't help but burst into laughter at the thought of Liara wanting to show off his 'assets' (as she called them), but it was with a cheerful heart that he said goodbye to her. Knowing that Liara truly cared about him, enough to set all this up, made his mouth crinkle in joy, but he was still anxious about his upcoming meeting with Shepard. Since the end of the war he hadn't seen him much, and he hoped it was just because of the politics.

They had talked late into the night, and it was with heavy eyes that Kaidan hung up his new clothes and fell into bed. He chanced one more glance at his picture of Shepard and looked up the stars through his window, thinking that he might have a chance after all.

That night he dreamed of Shepard. For the first time in a long time, it was a pleasant dream.