A:N- This is the dictionary challenge response. I have decided to post up the original with the edits instead of rewriting the entire story. My second "Dictionary" challenge is coming soon. For this first one I got the word "Dictionary". I hope you enjoy!

Title: On Dictionaries, Definitions and Friendship

Author: lilgenious

Rating: K+

Summary: The four inseparables have found a dictionary while they are on break during the Siege of La Rochelle. They all learn that there is more to a book than what first meets the eye, especially when the book in question has definitions.


The large and very thick book sat in the centre of the table at the inn that they were currently sitting in for a much needed break, the rain outside hitting the windows was ignored by Porthos who sat almost astounded at the size of the book in front of him. He looked up at Aramis with disgust on his face and found his friend staring almost innocently back at him, Athos looked amused and D'Artagnan who had at first been surprised to see the book at their table had a smile on his lips that spoke of his amusement at Porthos facial expressions that constantly crossed Porthos face as he stared at the book in front of him. The word Dictionary was on the front cover and it was very huge, covered with an assortment of words such as Informative, useful, and practical were written on the front cover and for a moment Porthos wondered what was more useful and practical than the Muskets and swords that lay forgotten nearby them... after all they had just gotten back from a hard day's work on the front lines of a siege that had taken place very near to their inn in La Rochelle.

The book had been waiting for them at their table at the inn, which was surprisingly full of soldiers and Musketeers alike. The inn was very loud and extremely crowded with the door occasionally slamming open and shut as others either joined the crowd or left to go to their positions on the battlefield or on the rare instance back to camp where it would be a bit quieter and peaceful with the exception of hearing gunfire in the distance or the loud boom of the cannon's.

Finally curiosity won and D'Artagnan grabbed the book from the table and brought it over to him and with Porthos looking over his shoulder went to a random page and began to read silently. Both Aramis and Athos were silent, not bothering to check out the large book or the contents. As it didn't hold any interest to Aramis who would have gladly read the book if it was about theology he decided to ignore it and Athos who had taken a sudden interest in the bottle of Spanish wine in front of him wasn't at all interested in the large book that would likely take years to complete, contented himself in pouring himself a cup of wine and leaned back in his chair to watch his two friends read.

"Agglutinate." D'Artagnan suddenly said his brow furrowed with sudden concentration. "Unite as with glue."

"There is a second part to that word," Porthos said with a frown as he pointed something out on the page. "Cause or undergo adhesion of bacteria, red blood cells."

"Aggression," D'Artagnan said and read off the same page. "The act or practice of attacking without provocation..."

"Well this book states the obvious!" Porthos exclaimed at the words that D'Artagnan said. "We know what aggression is, we see examples of this with the Cardinal's guards. Now those are the people that attack without provocation!"

From the table next to the one that seated the four friends, a group of Cardinal's guards looked over at Porthos and glared at him. Porthos was oblivious to their glares and continued onto another word that was on the same page as the two others.

"Agitator. A person who agitates for or against a cause." Porthos paused and looked up to see a very amused Athos looking at him. "Again like those Cardinal's guards with their unbroken loyalty to the Cardinal, always getting the general public to like that cunning and very deceitful..."

"Porthos!" Aramis yelled out as three of the Cardinal's guards stood up and with their hands on their swords and stood their glowering at Porthos, almost willing the large Musketeer to continue with their silent looks. "Don't say that when his guards are here!"

"They are here?" Porthos asked and he turned his head in the direction that Aramis was looking in, he found himself being stared at by a group of Cardinal guards and cheerfully acknowledged the three guards that had threateningly placed their hands on their sword hilts. "Don't you find it a rather beautiful day? I never felt better! Today was a very successful battle fought by the King's guards and Musketeers and we won back a bastion though I suppose you don't know anything about that as you are never seen on the battlefield. Ah I recognize the three of you now! You are the three that I fought duels within the past!"

The three guards did not say anything, just continued to look at Porthos with a look of disgust on their faces. Finally the three sat down to accompany their friends but continued to give dirty looks in Porthos direction. For a moment there was silence as Aramis glared at Porthos and Athos took a drink from his Spanish wine, looking as aloof and content as ever. D'Artagnan went back to the book in front of him and continued to flip through the pages, though now in a very bored fashion.

"Don't you find it funny how this book gives a definition for a word?" Porthos asked after a few minutes of complete silence. "It states such obvious words Aramis, don't you think? Why is that?"

Aramis sighed and held his hand out for the large book. He thought he knew the answer and wanted to see the book to show that he was correct. D'Artagnan quickly closed the book and handed it over to Aramis who looked at the cover before flipping through it to the letter "D". He frowned as he went through the pages, muttering as he did so.

At long last he found the page he was looking for and read aloud what he had found. "Dictionary. A book that lists usually in alphabetical order and explains." He paused and looked at Porthos who had a frown on his face. "In other words my friend, it gives the definition of the words."

Porthos gave Aramis a look of annoyance. "Definitions! Is that this entire book gives? Here give me that book!"

Before Aramis could slide the book towards Porthos he had already grabbed it and began to go through the pages. He looked for a word and stopped when he found it halfway down a page; he looked up and shook his head. "Aramis it does not give you the real definition of drunkard."

Aramis gave Porthos a confused look. "It doesn't? Well it should. What does it say?"

"Drunkard," Porthos began to read off the page. "A person who is drunk, especially habitually."

Aramis frowned. "That is the definition of drunkard Porthos. What do you expect it to say?"

"Athos," Porthos replied quickly and with a serious expression on his face.

Athos lowered his glass of wine and gave Porthos a look of bemusement. "I am not a drunkard."

"Are too," Porthos said.

"Am not," Athos retorted.

"They should have your name down in this book as a definition." Porthos began to laugh.

Athos slowly sipped from his glass of wine but kept his eyes on Porthos who now was laughing so hard that he almost fell from his chair.

"They should have your name as a definition of pompous." Athos lips began to curl up in what D'Artagnan and Aramis suspected was going to be a smile.

Porthos stopped laughing and stared at Athos for a minute before going back to the dictionary to search up the word pompous; when he found it he looked up and gave Athos a look of disgust. "Athos since when do you think I have excessive sense of self importance?"

"Since when did you think me a drunkard?" Athos questioned with raised eyebrows.

"I do not have a sense of self importance!" Porthos exclaimed, ignoring Athos question.

"And I am not a drunkard." Athos stated calmly as he took another sip of his Spanish wine.

Aramis and D'Artagnan refused to look at each other for fear that when they met each other's eyes they'd burst into laughter. So they settled with trying to keep straight faces as Porthos and Athos argued amongst themselves about the words that the other thought themselves to be.

"I'd rather be called cool, aloof, and unfeeling than being called excessively self important." Athos retorted to what Porthos had called him.

"Yes, I'd rather be called self important and large than being called something even remotely close to unfeeling and aloof!" Porthos heatedly replied. "Here let me read you the definition of aloof so that you get a clearer picture as to what it means to you."

"You wouldn't." Athos eyes were narrowed now.

"I would." Porthos replied as he found the letter "A" and began to go down the list of words. "Aloof. Distant and unsympathetic. That is exactly what you are!" Porthos slammed the book shut and eyed Athos who once again took a sip of his wine. "Besides a drunkard."

Athos eyes locked on Porthos as he brought his cup down. "I am not a drunkard."

Before Porthos or Athos could say anything else Aramis held up his hand. "I think that we have established that Athos is not a drunkard and Porthos does not think himself as self important."

The four friends began to laugh and then all got up to head back to camp, the day had been long and there had been a battle earlier on. One that they had won for that matter and although they wanted to continue celebrating they all felt exhausted and needed to rest. The thoughts of the dictionary and the definitions inside it were gone from their memories as each of the four friends found their tent and soon fell asleep.

All except for Athos who ordered his servant for another bottle of Spanish wine.