Just a kiss away

The M.E. left the crime scene in a hurry as soon as she was done explaining the details of the vic's death to the Detectives. She had quite a few years of experience, and she had seen a lot of disturbing things, but somehow that particular place had got into her head in a matter of minutes. She ran up the stairs, jumping over two steps at a time, until she reached the exit and felt the soft wind blowing against her face. With her eyes closed, she inhaled deeply, tasting the air and trying her best to take the smell of putrefaction off of her nose. The creepy orbits without eyeballs still stared at her from her memory, though, and she couldn't completely shake off that terrible feeling that was glued to her skin like a spider web.

"Yo."

She jumped at the sound of the familiar voice coming from too close behind her. She turned around to face him, her heart pounding quickly and scared.

"Damn it, Javier, don't you ever do that to me again."

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. More than you already are, I mean." the Detective took a step closer to her, opening his arms as in an invitation. Lanie hesitated at first, but eventually she surrendered and took a step towards him, accepting his protective embrace. She rested her head on his neck out of habit and for a moment they both just stayed like that, breathing each other in. When her heart was beating in a regular rhythm again, and her breathe was steady, she lifted her head up.

Javi's face was really close to hers, actually invading her personal space. Not that she minded - she actually found it comforting. The inevitable romantic spark was emerging as she knew it would, but right now she needed him more than she wanted to avoid the awkwardness. "There were just so many skulls, Javi. So many people."

She shook her head, narrowing her eyes and pressing her lips together as the images filled her mind once more. A funerary crypt serving as a disposal place for some kind of murderer. Miles and miles of walls filled with skulls in advanced decomposition states, staring at her from their empty orbits. And in the middle of everything, a recent body missing its head. She felt Javi hugging her tightly and kissing her hair, and that made her feel a little better.

"I know. It was horrible. Whoever did this was a psychopath." he patted her back, but she pulled away to take a better look at him. His eyes were comforting and understanding, but her stomach dropped because of what wasn't there - he didn't show any signs of fear or weakness.

"I should go back." she tried to make her voice sound determined, but inevitably it broke. With all her strength, she disregarded that fact and went on. "An M.E. is not supposed to react like that. I've seen dead bodies and skeletons before, right?"

Javi moved his hands to her shoulders and squeezed them just hard enough to show how serious he was. "Hey."

He stared at her until she raised her head and looked him in the eyes. "What's inside there is horrible. It's inhumane. And the fact that you're reacting like this, it doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're still a human. You still care." she looked down again, and this time he held her chin and gently pulled her face upwards. "Nobody can blame you for that, you understand?"

She stared at his eyes, two drops of melted chocolate, and they were filled with so much compassion and sincerity that she felt some stubborn tears roll down her cheeks. Before she could stop it, her mind was floating back to the days when they were together, and she couldn't help but ask herself: what had changed? They still cared about each other as much as they did when they broke up. He was still there for her. The only thing keeping them apart was the future - and the fact that they couldn't agree on it.

She nodded, wiping her face, and he put one arm around her shoulders, leading her away from there.

"Where are we going?" Lanie asked, suddenly stopping. The detective looked at her as if he hadn't understood the question. "I still have to go back there."

"Nah, let Permulter handle this." they exchanged a glance and the M.E. felt her stomach drop again at the thought of abandoning a case because she didn't have the guts to take it. Javi must have picked it up on her eyes, because he gave her a little squeeze on her shoulders and kept talking. "Alexis is your intern, right? I'm pretty much sure Castle wouldn't want her working this case."

She looked at him with gratitude, unable to find the words. She knew it was an excuse, much more a way to convince other people than anything else, but still it made her feel better. She rested her head against Javi's shoulder again and whispered, "thank you".

He pulled her closer to him, kissing her hair again. "Don't mention it. Now let's take you home."