Chapter 15: Take it in Reverse

Warnings: Some shit idk (canon-typical violence and major character death, not necessarily in this chapter but be forewarned)

AN: This is gonna be great, I swear. (I have no idea what's going to happen after they finish talking)

"Harry, we need to talk."

"I guess." He replied nonchalantly, sliding down in his chair. He glanced over to Draco who was now looking at him in outrage.

"About Hermione," he said with clenched teeth.

"Yeah, she's been acting pretty weird, hasn't she?"

"Indeed. But it's not just her, Pansy has been acting strange as well. And lately they've been hanging out together more often."

"Really? I hadn't noticed?" He said sincerely.

"Either that was sarcasm or Hermione was right on the dot when she said you were the blindest person to ever exist. Of course, you've always been like that, blind to everyone's feelings but your own. Did you ever even notice that the Weasley girl has been in love with you?"

"What? Ginny is? What!?"

"Oh, my god. You didn't even notice! The whole school thought the two of you would end up together! You are such an idiot."

"Hey, I may be an idiot, but at least I'm willing to give people second chances."

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"I believed in you, I gave you a chance to redeem yourself from all the shitty things you've done and when it came time for you to give me a second chance and confirm my feelings after you had just fucking rejected me in front of the Defence room you just… again. And you haven't even talked to me once!"

"I am not doing this. This conversation is not about us. This conversation is about Hermione. But I would much prefer it if we could move somewhere else if you are going to start talking about such things in such a public area."

"Fine." He followed Draco out of the library and up to the owlery where instantly a bunch of owls came rushing towards him with letters in their beaks.

"Ugh, more of these stupid interview requests." Draco groaned angrily, taking a few, ripping them up and throwing them off the side of the tower.

"Don't owls only come in the morning?"

"Usually, but these come all day every day. Apparently Rita Skeeter really wants to do a column about me and my being disowned."

"Ironic, isn't it?" Draco glared at him.

"Not funny, Potter." He ripped a few more and threw them.

"Well, yeah, if you're you. But I'm not you, and I'm also kind of pissed at you, so, yeah, it's funny to me."

"Ugh, whatever." He ripped the last of them and dropped them down the tower, leaning over the side and watching the small white pieces fall to the ground. "Pansy has been acting strangely all year. Hermione hasn't, but as soon as she started hanging out with Pansy she did as well. Something's wrong. Something's wrong with the both of them and I need to figure out what." He looked back over to Harry and he finally saw the worry straining Draco's face. He was very serious. "Will you help me?"

"Anything for Hermione." He saw a soft, sad smile grace Draco's face and though he tried to convince himself that the boy deserved it, he felt sad himself, wanting to rid the boy of all his troubles and bury him in a big hug that could protect him from everything, including himself. "But, uh, how should we start?"

"Well, first we'll need to stalk them a bit, see where they get off to when they leave together. Then we'll see if we can find out what exactly they're doing, but if that doesn't work I suppose we'll just have to confront them. Seeing how that kind of wen with Hermione earlier, though, I don't know if trying to talk to them about it will get us anywhere."

"We can at least try."

"Good, then I guess we're done here." He started to leave but Harry grabbed his wrist before he could exit the room.

"Wait."

"Yes, Potter?" He said icily. Harry flinched at such a cold use of his last name.

"Do you really not want to talk about… about us? I really do. I want…." He trailed off, unable to think of what to say next without completely embarrassing himself. Draco turned away from him but stood firmly in his place.

"I'm sorry, Harry." He looked down and fled slowly down the icy stairs. Harry looked down at his feet, unable to move after having been rejected once again. Maybe he should give up. He really wanted to give up, he had tried many times. But he just couldn't. There was something inside of him that just kept him from being able to give up. He really hated that part of him.

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Draco could feel tears flowing down his cheeks. There was a reason he'd avoided talking to Harry for so long, he didn't think he could handle it and this night proved him right. What had he been thinking? Going and asking Harry to help him figure out what was wrong with Pansy and Hermione. Now he would just have to see him more often. Ergh, sometimes he just couldn't stand his own stupidity. If Harry was an idiot, then that made Draco twice as big an idiot for still being in love with him.

Why couldn't he just accept it? He knew now that Harry really did want to be with him and yet he still couldn't just say 'ok' when Harry wanted to talk about them. He wanted to. He wanted to so bad. But he was just so scared, so scared of being rejected. He'd been rejected so many times at this point that it was hard to accept that anyone wanted him. His father, Pansy, everyone at school. Hell, even Hermione had rejected him earlier today. No one wanted him and no one ever would.

He went back to his lonely room, watching the honeymooning Blaise and Theo enveloped in each other, not caring what the outside world thought of them, not noticing any of the painful glares in their direction. Draco noticed them, he wished he had their innocence, to feel as if he had no care in the world but the happiness of another.

Instead he went up to his solitary bed and lay down, shivering. No matter how hard he pulled on the covers he could not make himself less cold. For the first time in over a month he pulled out the pillow Hermione had made for him and held it close to him, wishing it would give him the warmth of an actual person. It didn't, but he soon fell asleep and all his worries seemed to melt into a dusky darkness.

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The next morning found Harry glancing constantly over at the Slytherin table to Draco whose eyes were accented by large grey bags. He and Pansy sat next to each other, both with the same amount of weariness on their faces. Looking back at his own table he saw Ron, Neville, Dean, and Seamus all having a grand time. Ron's arm, latched around Lavender's shoulders as they all cheered joyously. He had no intention of joining them despite Neville nervously looking his way.

Instead he stared back at Draco and the Slytherin table, thinking what to do about Hermione and Pansy. Draco suddenly looked up at him and gestured his head to the door. Harry got up excitedly and followed him out, noticing Hermione, Pansy, and Neville's eyes all trailed on them. He followed him down into the alcove that Draco used to call his own before they stopped moving.

"Look, ok, so I have no idea what I was thinking last night. How are we even supposed to figure out what they're doing? If we followed them they'd most likely notice us and then we'd have to confront them. I… I really don't want to do that."

"You didn't."

"What?"

"I was watching you for almost all of October and you didn't notice."

"Oh my god, yes I did! I just never said anything because… because ugh, whatever." He crossed his arms and looked down at the floor solemnly. They stood together in awkward silence for a while until Harry'd had enough

"Look, ok, maybe you did, but I was just. Well, I don't know why I was actually actively following you; that was stupid. I have this map that shows where everyone in the school is. We can track them that way so they won't notice us."

"You… have a map... that shows you where everyone in the school is? Why am I not surprised. I'd like to see it if you don't mind. Confirm that it exists."

"All right, sure. It's in my room though." He explained, hoping it would stop Draco from wanting to go.

"It's all right, it's Saturday and I have all the time in the world."

"Fine, there shouldn't be anyone to see us go in since its still breakfast."

"Good then." They went up to Gryffindor Tower, with only minimum trouble from the fat lady. Draco stared around the common room in awe but didn't say a thing. Harry watched him with secret glee, loving the cute look he had as he gazed around his eyes wide and his mouth just slightly open.

"Ready to go up?" He asked with a playful grin. Draco gave him a joking glare and followed him up the stairs to the dorms.

When upstairs, Draco plopped himself on Harry's bed and watched as Harry shuffled through his bedside table. He looked up at him quickly and noticed the look on his face was full of longing as he looked at Harry. The thought made Harry blush and look back down, hoping Draco was too pre-occupied with his own thoughts to notice.

He got the map and Draco moved so he could sit next to him on the bed, leaning against the headboard. He got up and Draco moved to put a silencing spell around the bed and closed both curtains. Harry gave him an odd look.

"I don't want people to know I was here, do you?" He looked down and blushed, seeing as his mind had immediately gone to such a different topic. He put his wand to the center of the map, said the keywords and it began to spread across their laps. He smiled as Draco stared at it just like he had the common room. He seemed to be showing his emotions more openly than normal for some reason. He supposed it might be because of loneliness or depression but he didn't know enough about those things to say.

They looked around it, Harry showing Draco people on the map and looking for Pansy and Hermione, who were still both at breakfast. He eventually felt Draco snuggle in closer to him and lean his head on Harry's shoulder.

"It's such a cool map," he said tiredly.

"It is, isn't it? My dad and his friends made it when they were in school."

"Really?"

"Yeah, they were always getting into trouble."

"That sounds nice. All my dad did in school was study and be an asshole." He gave a short laugh as Draco turned his face into Harry's shoulder and felt a small smile on his lips. After that they sat in silence for a little bit and Harry wondered if Draco had gone to sleep, he sure did seem tired if he was willing to let himself be this open with him. He had missed such closeness with the other boy and felt himself getting a bit sleepy too, as soon as his eyes started drooping, however, Draco said something that would make sure he wouldn't go to sleep.

"Harry, I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Being alone."

"I'm here." Draco quickly turned his head to face outwards and clicked his teeth.

"Yeah, but for how long?"

"As long as you want me to be."

"I don't believe you."

"Why not?"

"Everyone else has left, why shouldn't you?"

"Because I love you."

"Yeah? So did Pansy."

"I'm sure whatever Pansy's doing she's doing it because she still loves you too. I don't think she's left you."

"Then why doesn't she ever talk to me? Why don't you ever talk to me?"

"Well, I don't know about her but I only didn't talk to you because I was too afraid to. I was afraid you'd reject you."

"I guess. But I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"And I still love you."

"I still love you too."

"Do you?"

"Yes."

"Prove it."

"What? Are you going to make me do all those tests Hermione had you do at the beginning of the year?" Draco looked back at him and smiled deviously.

"Maybe."

"Oh, god, no." Draco's smile grew into one that hid a lifetime of laughter and he threw his hands up.

"Just kidding! For right now, however, I'm going to use your body as a pillow. You're not very soft, but you're quite warm." He slipped down into a good sleeping position, holding tight to his waist. Harry, not tired, reached below his bed and grabbed his homework.

They stayed like that for a couple hours until Draco suddenly jerked up and scrambled to get away from him. He jumped a bit at the sudden movement and dropped his homework on the ground.

"Everything all right in there?" He heard Ron ask from outside. He motioned for Draco to release the silencing charm and be quiet. He didn't need to be told twice.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just fell asleep on my Potions essay." He heard Ron snort and leave the room.

"What the fuck am I doing in here, Potter?" Draco hissed as soon as he was sure there was no one else in the room.

"What, don't tell me you got drunk and don't remember anything about you coming up to see the Map or falling asleep on me twice?" He said teasingly.

"Ugh, Harry, it was only once. That first time I was not asleep. And no I was not drunk. I was just…very, very tired."

"I thought it was pretty cute." Draco blushed and turned away.

"Did I ask for your opinion? Now, I want you to forget everything that I said earlier and go back to how we were before."

"No." Draco looked back at him, outraged.

"No!? Potter, this is not something you can just—"

"I said no. I'm not going to forget this. I'm going to remember that you said you love me and I will prove to you that I love you too. I won't abandon you." He looked at Draco, whose face had gone a bit slack, fiercely and hoped he had gotten his point across.

"Harry, I'm not—"

"Don't. Don't say you're not anything, you are everything. You're the one who's gotten me through this hellish year. Those evening lessons with Dumbledore, losing Hermione, everyone looking at me as if I'm about to die, and knowing, somewhere deep inside, that I probably will. I couldn't keep doing this without you." Draco was staring at him in awe and he knew he had hit something deep with in him. He brought Draco's face to his own and kissed him roughly. Draco continued the kiss and when Harry pulled away he tried to move back in. When he realized the other was moving away, he pulled back ashamedly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't- I didn't know it was so hard for you. And-and all I've been doing is thinking about my own stupid problems. I'm sorry." He looked down and started wringing his hands nervously. Harry brought a hand to his cheek and held it.

"You don't need to be sorry. I will prove to you that I'm worthy of you. I'll show you, and the rest of the world that I love you and that I always will."

"The whole world! Now, that might be a bit much. Let's start off with just us."

"Sure, then how do I do it?"

"I don't know," he said and shrugged his shoulders. "Figure it out yourself. I'm sure you can, if you love me as much as you say you do." Draco smirked at him.

"Yeah, right." He smirked back and rolled his eyes. There was a moment of silence before they both burst out laughing. They laughed and laughed for a while until they were tired and Harry leaned against Draco's shoulder. They sat together, catching their breaths, relishing in the aftermath of a good laugh.

"It's true, though," Draco began somberly, "I really don't know when I'll be able to trust you completely, or even if I'll be able to."

"That's fine, just as long as you let me stay by your side." Draco blushed and smiled at him, a thing which he was beginning to adore more and more.

"For now can we just go back to being friends? I know, I know I was the one who said I wanted a romantic relationship with you first, but I think we should just let it up for the moment. I miss being around you, but I don't know… I'm so unsure of myself now."

"Okay, just as long as you'll consider me."

"Yes, but I am serious about the proving yourself thing. Only friends until then." Draco said sternly, poking his chest. "That means no kissing, no holding hands, and most definitely no more sitting in each other's beds!"

Draco pushed himself off the bed and into the light of the dormitory.

"Do you want to be seen so badly?" Harry joked, getting off the bed.

"Oh, come off it! I know you have some kind of invisibility cloak! I've been watching you long enough to know at least that!" Harry quietly chuckled but dug in his bedside table until he pulled the cloak out. "Good, now let's go do some Pansy hunting!"

"And Hermione."

"And Hermione." Draco repeated, slipping the cloak around his body and disappearing from sight.

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He sneaked out of the Gryffindor common room, almost facing discovery just once when the Weasley girl came up to talk to Harry. He could see pain in her eyes that he doubted Harry noticed when he talked to her and he kind of pitied her. He did understand how she felt, loving someone that did not love her back, but he supposed she was much stronger than him, to be able to watch from afar without falling completely defenseless as he had. She made him look weak, pathetic. And to think, he had everything she wanted right in his grasp but he didn't just go for it. He was truly a terrible person.

They walked to a small, quiet hall way before Draco took the invisibility cloak off. From there they sat on the floor and placed the map in front of them. Searching for Pansy and Hermione, they found them stood somewhere on the seventh floor. They stood there for a bit until Pansy left Hermione to pace in front of the wall beside them. Then, to Draco's utter surprise they seemed to walk right into the wall, completely disappearing from the map.

"What the—" He started, looking at Harry, who didn't seem as befuddled as he was anxious. "What's wrong? What happened to them? Do you know?"

"Yeah," he sighed and started packing away the map. "I know where they are, but we can't get in while they're in there."

"What?"

"It's the Room of Requirement. As I remember, last year you tried to chase me in there quite a few times."

"Maybe…." Draco said timidly, biting his lip as he remembered that stupid squad thing he was on last year. Looking at Harry chuckle at his nervousness it felt so long ago.

"Well, as you should know, you can't get in after the doors have closed. I don't know why it doesn't show on the map, though. Probably something to do with the magic of the room, or maybe they just never found it? Who knows. They could be doing anything in that room."

"Anything?" He smirked suggestively and Harry looked at him in shock.

"You think they're… you know…." Harry asked quietly, a blush spreading across his cheeks. Draco laughed at him, that shy look was just too adorable for Harry's own good.

"Oh my god, Harry, you are such a blushing little virgin. You can say it, you know. Do I think they're having sex? Possibly. It makes sense if you think about it. Pansy would want to hide it because she doesn't want to end up with the same fate as me. Hermione would grow weary of hiding her relationship pretty quickly. Or maybe Pansy is saying they're just fuck buddies while Hermione feel something more.

"It seems the most plausible reason. I think unless we come by evidence that suggests otherwise we should just assume it's this. Maybe you can ask her about it or something. I definitely won't be asking Pansy, though, that would just be awkward."

"Are all wizards that homophobic?" Harry asked quietly, looking down at his feet. Draco looked at him worriedly.

"I don't think so. In fact, Pansy's parents would be more concerned that she's dating a muggleborn than the fact that said muggleborn is a girl. My parents are different, I suppose. They, or, well, mostly my father, taught me that homosexuality was an awful terrible thing but when I came here, when I realized I was gay, and when I saw two of my closest friends being so openly accepted in their relationship I started thinking differently. Experience changes a man, I suppose."

He smiled kindly at Harry who was staring back nervously. Harry gave small smile in return and began to stand up. He offered Draco a hand in return and he graciously accepted it, brushing the dust off his clothes when he was stood up. Harry came in close to him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Surprised, Draco brought a hand to his cheek and felt where Harry's lips had just been as the boy walked away with a cheeky smile on his face.

He softly smiled to himself, cradling his cheek in his hand.

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Walking back to the common room he ran into Ginny. They were just going to pass with a quick wave, but Ginny stopped him, asking if they could talk. He agreed and followed her to an abandoned classroom.

"What's up?" he asked, worried as Ginny turned away from him.

"I—I have something to say. I don't care, I can't take it anymore. I don't care if you reciprocate my feelings or not. I know you don't, but I've just got to say it!" She turned back to him, a melancholy smile on her face and the beginnings of tears in her eyes. "Harry, I love you."

He stared at her, awestruck for just a second before coming to his senses. He remembered Draco saying something about this earlier, but he hadn't really thought it would be true. Now faced with this truth, he had no idea how to handle it.

"Ginny, I—"

"I know. I know you love Mal—Draco. I don't understand why or how it happened, but I'm ok with it. I'm all right, really."

"Ginny—"

"And I know you two have been fighting for some reason these past few weeks. I don't understand why, I don't understand anything, really, but I want to do whatever I can to help. I want you to be happy, and if that means you're with Draco, that's fine with me." She flashed him a sly smile, her usual mischievous face reappearing. He smiled at her.

"Ginny—"

"But if he ever hurts you, I swear to god—"

"Ginny!" This time he interrupted her, a shocked look coming over her face. "Please, can I get one word in? Geez, look, Ginny, I'm sorry. You're right, I do love Draco. I'm sorry it couldn't have been you. You're a wonderful, amazing, beautiful girl. It's just… a lot happened and then we just kind of… I don't know. I'm not even sure we're a thing! I mean we were definitely going to be but then I messed up and…"

"How'd you mess up?" Ginny asked eagerly. He looked at her warily, unaware if her eagerness was toward the distress in their relationship or helping to fix it.

"Uh, well, I kind of ignored him for a couple weeks after he told me he loved me and then I said I would think about it and ugh I just… messed up. Big time."

"Wow. Yeah. That is pretty major. If you'd left me feeling stranded like that I would have hexed you. You should just be thankful he seems to be a kinder person than me."

"I don't think it was that… I just think that he'd already been stepped on so much this year, he was already prepared for rejection from me so he just kind of shut me out. Today he gave me another shot, but I'm not sure I deserve it."

"Maybe you don't," Ginny said and Harry's deepest were confirmed. He hung his head in shame. "But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to prove that you do. Even if the whole world is against you, you still gotta fight against it. That's what the Golden Boy's supposed to do, isn't it?" She smirked at him and he had a passing thought to go over and kiss her but that might be inappropriate at the moment.

"Ginny, have I ever told you you're amazing?"

"Yeah, just a few minutes ago." She laughed at him, her bright smile filling his heart with hope.

"Just… one more thing."

"Yeah?" She asked as she sat down on a desk.

"In the wizarding world, is it ok to be, y'know…"

"Gay? Hell yeah, it's fine. Who cares!" She waved her hands in the air enthusiastically. "Besides some pretentious purebloods that is. I don't know what it's like in the muggle world either, but here we're all okay with it. Long as you're happy being you."

"Thanks, I really needed that. You know, I really didn't mean to ignore him like that. I was really busy with Quidditch and Dumbledore and Voldemort and all that. I think I was also kind of scared of myself too. I mean, they don't think too well of gay people in the muggle world and Draco's being disowned because of it… I kind of just assumed this world was the same way."

"Nah, that's just the Malfoy family. If you ask me, that Lucius is a bit screwed in the head." She said, circling her finger around her left temple. Harry laughed and they went into a pleasant conversation. Around four they went back to the common room, laughing and joking the whole way. When she left him to join her other friends she kissed his cheek goodbye.

Dean and Seamus whistled but Ginny quieted them with a glare and harry explained… most of it to them. That they weren't together and they never would be. Seamus joked that he might ask her out but Harry glared at him, threatening that if he ever thought to ask her out as a joke he would have to go through both Ron and him. Neville squeaked in that he would defend her as well but Seamus quickly backed down, saying it was a joke. Dean elbowed him, saying it was a joke that could probably get him hexed by not just them but Ginny as well. Probably the worst from Ginny.

That night, however, all the joking of the day had gone away very quickly. Ron had first eaten candies filled with a love potion meant for him and then when he had gone to Professor Slughorn to get an antidote he had been poisoned by mead meant for Dumbledore. When he had told Hermione about the incident she seemed flustered. She didn't go and see him, she ran away, muttering something about pansy so that he just barely caught the name.

The next day he met up with Draco in the same place he had the day before.

"It's not a relationship they're hiding. It's something more. Something much, much more dangerous." He said, watching fear and doubt roll into Draco's eyes. He wished he could cover it up and let them see nothing but light for the rest of eternity but that was impossible. Stupid and impossible. They would find out what was going on, and they would do it together.

AN: I love Ginny. I love her so much that I am going to start a story about her and Draco (not drinny, they are just the main characters). I really shouldn't cause I gotta finish this one but the idea… it's just… too good! Too powerful! It has over-taken me! And here I was going to write either some jasico piece or a kuroken. But no! This piece has taken over me! I must write it!