Boy Loves Girl, a camp rock fanfic

A/N: This story is a tribute to the amazing Meg Cabot who wrote The Boy Series beautifully, and who has inspired me as a writer more than she or I will probably ever realize.

Happy reading!

Angellwings

PS – GO NOMINATE AT THE INDIECRAWARDS! They have a FFN profile and a twitter so go check them out and nominate! :D

Boy Loves Girl

By angellwings

To: Caitlyn Gellar (CaityDid-at-hastalavistacrew-dot-com), Mitchie Torres (mtorres-at-viberecords-dot-com), Peggy Dupree (Dupree-at-viberecords-dot-com)

From: Ella Pador (ellampador-at-splendide-dot-com)

Subj: HELP!

Guys, the stylist's assistant (let's not talk about why I didn't get that job) just asked me out to dinner after work. Turns out we were wrong, he's straight (who knew right? He dresses way better than your average straight guy). I could have sworn Caity was gonna be totally right on when she compared him to Marc from Ugly Betty. I mean, he's sweet but I don't want to go out with him! Somebody tell me I have plans tonight please so I can say no!

To: Ella Pador (ellampador-at-splendide-dot-com)

CC: Mitchie Torres (mtorres-at-viberecords-dot-com), Peggy (Dupree Dupree-at-viberecords-dot-com)

From: Caitlyn Gellar (CaityDid-at-hastalavistacrew-dot-com)

Re: HELP!

Movie marathon, pizza, cocktails, and cheesecake a good enough plan for you? Cause I can totally have people over for that tonight. If you don't mind the lot of us being up late in your bedroom that is. Do you work tomorrow? I wouldn't want to keep you up if your tyrannical boss is making you work on a Sunday.

Cait

To: Ella Pador (ellampador-at-splendide-dot-com)

CC: Mitchie Torres (mtorres-at-viberecords-dot-com), Caitlyn Gellar (CaityDid-at-hastalavistacrew-dot-com)

From: Peggy Dupree (Dupree-at-viberecords-dot-com)

Re: HELP!

Wait. Ella's living in Caitlyn's living room? Since when? How did I miss this? And I'm totally in for a movie and alcohol night. I need one. Barron took a job in Luke Williams' backup band instead of mine. Somebody explain to me why he would do that. Is Luke paying him more than me? I mean why would my boyfriend rather go on tour with Luke? Seriously, I'm dumbfounded.

Peg

To: Peggy Dupree (Dupree-at-viberecords-dot-com)

CC: Mitchie Torres (mtorres-at-viberecords-dot-com), Caitlyn Gellar (CaityDid-at-hastalavistacrew-dot-com)

From: Ella Pador (ellampador-at-splendide-dot-com)

Re: HELP!

Cait was nice enough to let me crash on her couch until I can find a place of my own. You know, since my boyfriend suddenly decided he didn't want to get married after five years. Seriously, I wasted five years of my life on him. Why did I do that? And why am I the homeless one? I'm the one who found that apartment. If it wasn't for me we'd have been living in a storage locker or a cardboard box in a sketchy alley, or worse we'd be living with my dad. *shudder*

Ugh. My life sucks. Boring job (in which I never get to touch clothes), I'm living on a friend's couch and cramping her style, I wasted five years on a bum, apparently I'm not marriage material, and the only other guy who's interested has possibly not realized that he's gay (or that he's a little creepy).

And I'm in Caitlyn. No, I'm not working tomorrow. My boss is evil but she's not that evil. She needs Sunday free so she can torture all the babies and puppies she wants.

PS. Peg, I'm sure Barron thinks he's doing something noble. He usually does when he passes up something that seems too good to be true (like touring all summer with his girlfriend who he's totally crazy about and getting PAID for it.)

To: Ella Pador (ellampador-at-splendide-dot-com)

CC: Caitlyn Gellar (CaityDid-at-hastalavistacrew-dot-com), Peggy Dupree (Dupree-at-viberecords-dot-com)

From: Mitchie Torres (mtorres-at-viberecords-dot-com)

Re: HELP!

Ella, your life does not suck. I mean, maybe it's not all you dreamed it would be right now, but you just graduated last May. Give it time. And Jake is a douche. We've known this for years and it's about time you realized it too. The only reason he's refusing is because he's on his way to getting a record deal and he wants to keep his options open. Which, correct me if I'm wrong, is not the kind of guy you want to marry anyway. And you're the homeless one because you're too damn nice. You have got to stop letting Jake (and your boss too for that matter) walk all over you.

I'd take back that apartment if I were you. Your name is on the lease. I mean, seriously, what could he do if you moved back in and then kicked him out? It would be totally legal.

I'm in too. For tonight. I'm sure Shane will whine, but he can deal. I mean I get that I'm leaving for my tour soon and he's gonna be stuck here in LA recording but I deserve one night off from him to spend with my girls. Right? (Please, tell me I'm being reasonable. Otherwise I'll feel guilty. Unless, I'm not being reasonable then I really want to know.) I mean we've spent every night together for last three weeks. He's been strangely clingy and very un-Shane like.

Mitch

PS. I agree with El. Barron probably has some insane noble reasoning that only he understands. Also, El, take it from me you have more guys interested than the creepy stylist guy that wants you to be his stubble. I know these things.

To: Peggy Dupree (Dupree-at-viberecords-dot-com)

CC: Ella Pador (ellampador-at-splendide-dot-com), Mitchie Torries (mtorres-at-viberecords-dot-com)

From: Caitlyn Gellar (CaityDid-at-hastalavistacrew-dot-com)

Subj: Barron-Barron-bo-Barron-banana-fana-fo-farron-mee-mi-mo-marron-Barron!

Pegs, I should not be telling you this…because, really, it's none of my business, but as one of Barron's partners I feel I should at least tell you that I know his reasons and they are indeed idiotically noble. I won't tell you exactly what they are because that's between the two of you, but you should get him to tell you (Jack on the rocks plus some seduction techniques that I can show you tonight and he'll spill his guts. Trust.) Once he tells you I have no doubt that you'll convince him to change his mind.

And, Ella, really I do not mind you sleeping on my couch. It's actually kind of fun having a roommate. No rush, but I do agree with Mitchie that you should just take your apartment back. Move your stuff in and his stuff out and mutiny. For once in your life. And yes, Mitchie you deserve a night off from Shane. I don't know how you've put up with him for three weeks. Or for seven years for that matter. Seriously. I would have murdered him in his sleep by now. Or at least cut off some very important body parts.

Cait

To: Caitlyn Gellar (CaityDid-at-hastalavistacrew-dot-com), Mitchie Torres (mtorres-at-viberecords-dot-com), Peggy Dupree (Dupree-at-viberecords-dot-com)

From: Ella Pador (ellampador-at-splendide-dot-com)

Subj: I just love you guys

…so much. Seriously. You're the best. See you all tonight for pizza, alcohol, and cheesecake. And seduction techniques, apparently.

Shit. Gotta go.

Tyranicalsaurus Boss is coming.

"This is Ella's phone. If I'm not answering then I must be at work or caught up in all the glory that is Smash or Mad Men. If you're a reporter or Jake then I'm not interested. If it's anyone else then…love ya and call you back later!"

"Very funny, Ella. Not to mention mature. Are you still coming to my show tonight? Because you promised to bring your dad when the band booked it last month. Remember? Also, you owe me your half of the rent. And, just FYI, I do miss you, babe. I really wish you'd drop this nonsense and come home. Just because I don't want to marry you doesn't mean I don't want to be with you. Seriously, I really think you're being a child about this. Call me. Or answer the next time I call you. Please."

"Hey, Ells, it's Nate. I guess you're working today. You really need to talk to your boss about the amount of hours you're working. Is she paying you overtime? Sorry, not the point. I was gonna ask if you wanted to come with me to this thrift store downtown. I know you like to look for vintage clothes and I heard this one place had some really cool records…so I thought…you know, that you might want to come. Anyway, if you get off early and want to go give me a call. Okay? Talk to you later."

From the desk of Ella Pador:

To be done:

1. Grow a backbone

2. Ask my boss for the weekend of August 23rd off. (Smitchie wedding. I cannot miss it).

3. Find an apartment (or take back my old one).

4. Change my cell number so that Jake can't bother me anymore.

5. Pick up my dry cleaning (seriously, two more days until they donate it to Goodwill.)

6. Pick up the new proofs from the art department before I leave today.

7. Ask Tyranicalsaurus Boss if I can sit in on some of her meetings. (How am I going to learn if I can't observe how a professional stylist truly works?)

8. Find a boyfriend who doesn't want to "keep his options open."

9. And who thinks I'm adorable (even if I'm hopeless and ditzy and awkward beyond belief.)

10. And who doesn't try to make me pay rent on an apartment I'm not currently living in.

11. Call Nate about the shopping thing. (Thrift store? Yes, please. I've been looking for a pair of vintage wedge heels. Plus, watching Nate search through an old record collection is totally adorable. Mostly because he's a nerd about records.)

12. FIX MY LAME LIFE.

Messages:

Ella Pador: TB let me off work early! Still want to go to that thrift store?

Nate Gray: Of course. She let you off early? She never does that.

Ella Pador: I know! Apparently she has a date. I just have to go pick up the proofs for this months issue and lock them up in her office and then I'm done.

Nate Gray: Do you need a ride or is your car still in the parking garage at your place?

Ella Pador: Um, I need a ride.

Nate Gray: Still don't have the guts to face The Douche and get back your stuff, huh?

Ella Pador: I know. I'm pathetic. Caitlyn's already told me how gutless I am. I'm just so ashamed of how much time I wasted on him. Ugh. Why didn't someone smack me five years ago?

Nate Gray: Would you have listened?

Ella Pador: …Probably not.

Nate Gray: I'll pick you up in half an hour. Is that enough time for you to get the proofs? And how much time do you have to shop? I thought I heard Peg say something about a girls' night?

Ella Pador: Oh yeah, we planned one last minute to give me a legit reason to say no to this guy who asked me out. I'd say I've got until about 6:30 to shop. Is that enough time?

Nate Gray: Plenty. See you in 30.

EllaPad Hey C3 fangirls, I bet you've never seen NateGrayC3 looking THIS nerdy. View Photo.

EllaPad That is what he looks like when he discovers a truly vintage Beatles record. #ThriftstoreTreasures #MusicNerdsareAdorable

EllaPad Just bought the cutest vintage wedges. This shopping trip was the best idea NateGrayC3 ever had. Now onto a night in with my fave gals. View Photo.

EllaPad Lord, CaityBird and rum are not a good combo. Add to that her plans to teach us seduction techniques & you've got a terrified Ella.

From the journal of Ella Pador:

So, today started out terrible but ended up amazing. My boss gave me a bunch of filler work to do which, I think, purposefully kept me away from clothes. All I did was return phone calls and e-mails and make catering arrangements for meetings and events. Oh, and I made her hair and nail appointments. Seriously, she used me for personal errands. I'm surprised she didn't ask me to pick up her dry cleaning. Speaking of, I forgot mine AGAIN. Geez. They're going to give the only D&G outfit I own to goodwill if I don't remember to pick it up by Monday. That's like a years pay. I HAVE TO PICK IT UP. NOTE TO SELF: DO NOT FORGET.

And then Tyler asked me out. Which I did not expect. I fully thought he was gay and he still might be. Just in denial. I refuse to be any guy's beard. Or pre-beard. Stubble? Mitchie said stubble so clearly that's acceptable. Going with stubble. I refuse to be any guy's stubble even if he's as sweet Tyler. And even if Tyler is straight he's not really my type. Well, I guess that doesn't mean much. Considering, historically, my "type" has been very bad for me. (Example: Jake. Ugh. We've been broken up for a month and he still doesn't understand that we're over. Oh god, a month. I've been living on Caitlyn's couch for a month. I hate my life.)

Because my type tends to be grumpy don't-let-the-man-get-you-down musician types. The ones who wax poetic about how disenchanted they are with society and how Ralph Lauren is more than likely out to take over the world and Gap wants everyone to become exact clones so that no one has to think anymore…or some nonsense like that. Seriously, why did he appeal to me? Ralph Lauren is one of my dream employers. And okay Gap's fashion's are bland and homogenized (word meaning: to make the same throughout. Nate said it the other day and I had to look it up after we got off the phone. Not that, you know, I'm stupid or anything. I swear I'm not. I had a 4.0 all the way through college) but I totally support their mission of bringing quality fashion to the shopping malls of the world. I mean why would Ralph or Gap want to do that? They make plenty of money as it is. Turning everyone into thoughtless drones would do them no good.

I mean, Nate, Jason, Shane, and Brown are musicians and they don't act like the world is out to get them. (They do however act like Axel Turner is out to get them. Which, he probably is.) Not to mention Mitchie and Peggy are almost as upbeat as me. Caitlyn's a different story. Her pessimism is mostly for show.

In fact, Jason's view of society seems to be closer to mine. Like me he believes that most people are inherently (word meaning: existing as an inseparable part) good and that as we grow up certain things twist people into being mean or rude. And like me he believes most people can change if you're nice enough and love them enough. Although, I'm beginning to doubt that 'people can change' part. I'm not sure Jake is capable of change or growth of any kind.

Shane doesn't really think much about people being inherently good or bad. He just accepts people for what they are, really. Which is what makes him pretty awesome in my book. Brown's the same way, I think. He'd like to believe people can change, but his experience with Axel has ruined that for him, I think.

And then there's Nate. Who claims to think people are inherently (using that word a lot I know, but it fits. Okay?) bad. And that no one really has selfless motives. He specifically believes this about males which I find funny since he is one. And I don't believe for a second that Nate is inherently bad. I also know that he has done some pretty selfless things in the past. (He volunteered to model for my senior fashion show last May. That was very selfless of him considering my theme was outerspace and the outfit he got stuck with the most outlandish outfit in the bunch…and the pictures were all over People and the tabloids for days.)

So, while Nate says he thinks people (men mostly) have bad natures I have a feeling he doesn't actually believe it. At least I hope not. Does that mean he thinks I've got a bad nature? I don't want him thinking that. About me, I mean.

No, he can't think that about me. He's told me before that when I was made they forgot to put in the spice when they put in the sugar and everything nice. And if he thinks that than he can't think I have a bad nature. Right?

RIGHT?

God, I hope so.

Anyway, onto my day.

So Tyler asked me out. Then the girls got me out of it. Thank goodness. And then Jake called. JAKE. ABOUT RENT. I am not paying him rent when I'm not living in that apartment. Also he thinks I'm being a child. NO, JAKE, I'M NOT. We've been dating for five years. If he doesn't want to marry me by now than he never will. And I want to get married (even if my parents were the perfect example of why not to get married. I don't care. It would be different for me. I know it.) I want a family. A real family that loves each other and supports each other. I never had one growing up but I'd like to help create one. Give my children what I never had.

And I'm not going to do that with Jake. That's all too clear now.

But thankfully Nate called not long after Jake and left me a voicemail about going shopping. Which almost didn't happen and wouldn't have happened had someone not called Tyranicalsaurus Boss (who's name is Ashley, btw) and asked her out to dinner. I'm sorry, but who would want to take her to dinner? She's not exactly an honest and genuine person. She's totally a two faced witch.

Which is why I try to be nice to her because I figure if I kill her with kindness she'll come around and finally be nice to ME in return.

Anyway, she let me out of work early and I ran to get the proofs she needed and then Nate picked me up outside of the office. Apparently he'd heard about this awesome thrift store that appeared to be a dive but actually had really awesome merchandise. He'd specifically heard they had an amazing vintage record collection which will always convince Nate to go shopping. He's a bit obsessed with old records. And by a bit I mean A LOT. So he picked me up and asked me how my day was and I told him in no uncertain terms that it was just another sad day in the life of lonely little old me. To which he responded with a bored look and a chuckle.

"Ella, your life is not THAT bad."

"Nate, I'm boyfriendless and homeless and I have a job that I hate. Plus the only guys asking me out ARE GAY. That's bad. Trust me on this."

"Wait. The guy that asked you out today was gay?" Nate asked.

The look on his face was odd. I could have sworn he looked a little relieved. Which doesn't make any sense, but whatever.

"Yes, or he will eventually turn out to be. I'm not sure he realizes he's gay, and I will not be the girl that makes him see it. I refuse," I said as I shook my head and huffed.

Nate smirked at me and nodded. You know, I know he's my friend (one of my very best friends really) but that smirk is DAMN ATTRACTIVE.

"Here's a question that's been bugging me for a while," Nate said after a moment of comfortable silence. "When are you going to get your stuff back from Jake?"

I groaned. Seriously, groaned. Like I was in pain. Because thinking about facing Jake gives me a headache.

"I know you don't want to deal with it Ella but you have to," Nate said. "You keep washing the same weeks worth of clothes over and over and over again. That's a lot of money to spend on laundry when you have a HUGE closet full of clothes waiting for you in your apartment."

"If I go back there he's going to think I want to get back together," I told him as I banged my head against his dash and whined. "I'm so tired of explaining to him that we're OVER. Really, I'm exhausted."

Nate rolled his eyes and then put a hand on the top of my head and pulled it away from his dash. "Don't do that. I'm afraid you'll set off the airbags."

"Sorry, I just need a desk to bash my head against right now."

Nate laughed at that. "Ella, really, the more you drag this out the worse it will be."

"What am I going to do with all of my stuff once I get it out of there, Nathaniel? I have nowhere to live. Remember?"

I always flippantly use his full name when I think I have a good point. Too bad he usually tears my "good points" to pieces.

"Rent a storage locker. Or use mine. I only store a few things in there from when my parents cleaned out their basement last Christmas."

I blinked for a moment as I tried to come up with another excuse. There had to be something. I opened my mouth but couldn't think of anything so I just sat there gaping at him. Gah, why was he so smart?

"Or, Eleanor," He said as he pointedly used MY full name. "You could just move all of his furniture OUT and move back IN. It's your apartment."

I scoffed. "What furniture? All he had was a beanbag chair and a futon."

"See? All the more reason it would be easier to kick HIM out than for you to MOVE out. I will gladly help you if that will make this happen faster, seriously," Nate said as he got off at the downtown exit. "Besides, isn't your lease almost up?"

"I've got till the end of the summer," I told him. "They usually ask me to resign in June."

"And what are you going to do when June rolls around?" Nate asked.

"I…I don't know! I'm trying to take my mess of a life one day at a time, Nate. Okay?" My voice was high and squeaky and even to my ears I sounded frantic and stressed. "I don't want to think about this! I just want to eat ice cream and take a bubble bath and hide under my covers for the rest of the decade. But no one will let me!"

Nate sighed and reached over and squeezed my hand briefly before he brought it back to the wheel. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. We can talk about something else, okay?"

"Ugh," I said as I rested my head against the window. "I'm pathetic, aren't I?"

"No, Ells, you're not pathetic. You're genuinely nice. There's a difference."

"Yeah, right. Sure there is."

He pulled into a parking garage and paid extra for a space in the gated ground floor. He always does that. He's famous after all and a lot of people recognize his car. He feels nervous parking anywhere that doesn't have a guard on duty. I can't say I blame him. I'm barely famous (thanks to my rockstar dad) and I sometimes find notes and flowers and teddy bears on the hood of my car when I leave work. Or I used to…before I abandoned all my property and moved into Caitlyn's living room. But I used to get really creeped out when that happened. It was all stuff for dad and it still bothers me that his fans know what MY car looks like. I mean what if someone with a grudge cuts my brakes or something? Or rigs it with a bomb like on 24?

Okay, stop. Not thinking about that. I'm writing and thinking about my afternoon with Nate right now, not the risk of me blowing up one random day when I start my car because my dad's a self obsessed rockstar.

I'm especially not writing about that when my ex is currently holding my car hostage. Well, not really. I mean I'm kind of letting him hold it hostage, and it's not like he's ever said I can't have it back or anything.

So…I guess the word hostage doesn't really apply at all in this case. Whatever.

Anyway, I let him lead the way to the store and for the first time I wondered how he'd heard about it. Usually I'm the one that finds the stores and tells HIM about them. When we reached the door Nate held it open and motioned for me to go first and I smiled thankfully at him. Or I hope I did. Because I always appreciate when guys open doors. Jake only did that for the first like three months that we dated. After that he stopped trying. I guess that should have been my first sign that he and I weren't going to work, huh?

This store, though. It was like Nate and Ella heaven. There was a whole WALL of records on one side of the store and then a whole WALL of dresses and shoes on the other. Seriously. It was beautiful. I'm beginning to think I should let Nate pick all the thrift stores we ever visit from now on. I'd been looking for a pair of vintage wedge heels for a while to go with this one dress…

Which may or may not be inside of my massive closet in my apartment that I no longer live in.

Damn. I forgot about that. Well, I bought them anyway. And they're flawless. They've got these wide straps and these curvy platform wedges, and they're this adorable red gingham pattern. I love them. They were kind of expensive but I was in need of some retail therapy. So it's forgivable.

Nate found some records he likes. Some really old ones from the thirties that are thick and all black and just look really cool. He says he's going to have them framed. And then he found a Beatles record that had a near flawless sleeve which according to him is near impossible to find. He was so stoked. I'd never seen him that excited about anything before. It was kind of funny. He'd been chatting with this other guy that was looking through the records and the minute he found it I heard his exclamation of "DUDE, LOOK AT THIS!" from across the store.

I swear, if he wasn't Nate and so cool and collected he would have been jumping up and down like a little kid. I had to take some pictures with my phone. It was just too cute. Nate nerding out is truly a rare sight.

After we made our purchases Nate decided to take me out for ice cream to make up for bringing up Jake, he said. Which was sweet. But he was totally right to bring up Jake. I do have to deal with him and that apartment, and I should do it soon. It's been a month already. How much longer do I want to drag this out really?

This is what I was thinking about as Nate was driving me back to Caitlyn's apartment when he finally broke the silence that had fallen between us.

"I was serious about my offer to help you deal with Jake, you know. Whenever you're ready to take him on I'll be there."

"Thanks, Nate. Really. You're very sweet. Everybody seems to have an opinion about what I should do and I just…"

"Just what?"

"I don't know what I WANT to do," I told him with a sigh.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm not sure I want to go through the drama of taking back my apartment but at the same time I really don't want to be there long enough to pack up all my stuff and move it out, you know? It's a lot of work and a lot of time in the same place as Jake. And I know that he'll use that time to try to convince me to stay or try to get rent out of me or something. And I just…don't think I can deal with that right now."

Nate glanced at me thoughtfully before he parallel parked along the sidewalk of Caitlyn's building. He put the car in park and then rubbed his neck as he squinted at me. "Um, you know, I'm not sure I should offer this…because I really think you need to confront Jake about this whole mess and I probably shouldn't enable you like this but…"

"But?"

"What if I get Shane and Jason and some of the other guys and we go get your stuff from your apartment? Without you. Would that help?"

I glanced at him skeptically. What? Why would he do that? He's been all about me actually talking to Jake since I packed my suitcase and snuck out in the middle of the night. "You would do that?"

"You need to get your stuff out of that apartment. If only to prove to Jake that it really is over between the two of you," He said with a nod before he hesitantly looked at me. "It is REALLY over, right?"

I nodded vigorously. "Oh, it's over alright. There's no way I'm going back to…THAT. NO. WAY."

"Good," Nate said with a nod. "You deserve better than HIM. You always have."

I'm pretty sure I blushed and I know I ducked my head. Nate never really says stuff like that and whenever he does I REALLY like it. It sort of tickles way down in the pit of my stomach when he talks like that. Is that normal?

Sorry. Moving on. After that I decided Nate deserved a hug because his offer took so much weight off of my shoulders. I could FEEL my muscles relaxing. Really, I could. I leaned over the arm rest and wrapped my arms around his neck. He tensed for a minute before I felt his arms go around me and my breath almost caught in my throat when I felt him bury his face in my neck. It was just for a split second but I know he did. When I opened my eyes he moved and rested his chin on my shoulder instead.

I bit my bottom lip and focused on breathing as I spoke. "Thank you, Nate. You're an AMAZING friend. I hope you know that."

He tensed again and then slowly pulled out of the hug. He looked away from me when he spoke (which seemed very odd to me, but sometimes…Nate is odd.) "Friend, yeah. You're welcome, Ella, really. It's not a big deal."

"But it is a big deal! To me, anyway! It's one less thing I have to stress about," I said as I placed a hand on his shoulder. "I won't forget it, Nate. Whether you want me to or not, I owe you."

"You don't owe me anything, Ella. It's what FRIENDS do," He said with a sigh. "Apparently."

My brow furrowed and I squeezed his arm. "Are you okay? Did I say something wrong? Whatever it was I'm sorry. I—"

His face brightened suddenly and he turned to face me. His small grin looked strained and forced. "No, no, Ella. It's me. I'm tired. It was a long day. I'll call you with the details about moving out your stuff as soon as I get a hold of Jason and Shane, okay? Do you want me to walk you up to Caitlyn's?"

I'm pretty sure I looked completely lost and confused. Because I was. He was all sullen one minute and then pretending to be bright and happy the next. The sudden mood swing was very un-Natelike. "Um, I, oh…no. I'm good. Thank you though. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," Nate said with a small smile. "Really, Ella, I am. You've got a girl's night to get to. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay, if you're sure. Thanks for today, Nate," I said as I tried to move past his weirdness. I smiled brightly as I grabbed my purse and shopping bag out of his floor board. "I needed this. A lot."

I waved and then got out of the car. Nate waited until I was inside the building to drive away like always and then I was left to wonder what the hell just happened. I was positive things had gotten weird in that car, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out WHY. I still don't know. I'll probably be reading over this entry in the coming days. Let's hope I figure it out. Because it will bug me until I do.

I entered Caitlyn's apartment to find Caitlyn setting up the food and the alcohol. She smiled when she saw me.

"I saw you were out with Nate. Have fun?"

She was smirking at me. It was the smirk she wore when she knew something no one else did, but I chose to ignore it for the moment. "Yeah, I did." Until the end. When it got weird. But I didn't tell Caitlyn that.

"The girls will be here in half an hour. And they're gonna want to hear about your evening with Nate."

I tilted my head and gave her a questioning look. "Why?"

"Well, because…it's Nate. And you."

"So?"

"I told the girls to come in their pajamas so I'd change if I were you."

She was avoiding my question but I knew better than to push. Caitlyn wouldn't budge if she really wanted to avoid something. "Right, I'll be right back then."

Which basically brings us to now. Me in PJs writing in my journal while Caitlyn makes more cocktails and gives Peggy tips about how to use her boobs as a seduction tool. ("Back straight. Boobs out. And aim.") Mitchie's laughing hysterically on the couch at the scared look on Peggy's face.

Wait, hold on. The brand new bottle of rum is almost empty. Geez, Caitlyn must have been guzzling that stuff like Jack Sparrow! Ah crap, she's pulled out her DDR mat. I better go before somebody gets hurt.

Messages:

Nate Gray: Ella, are you up?

NateGrayC3 If EllaPad is awake I need her call me. Hello? I've called and texted. I know it's 9 AM, but this is important.

To: Ella Pador (ellampador-at-splendide-dot-com)

From: Nate Gray (NateGrayC3-at-viberecords-dot-com)

Subj: Your stuff…

So I was able to get the guys mobilized. We're heading over to your place in ten minutes. We rented a truck and I'm going to store your stuff in my storage unit. What would you like to do about your car? Jason called Caitlyn and she said he could come over and pick up your car keys. Is that okay? Caitlyn has two spaces in the lot and she said you could use one.

Call me.

Nate

Messages:

Ella Pador: Whoa, wait, you're going over there TODAY? That was really fast, Nate.

Nate Gray: FINALLY, I've been calling all morning.

Ella Pador: and yet you didn't leave a voice mail.

Nate Gray: Can Jason come by and pick up your car keys?

Ella Pador: Geez, good morning to you too.

Nate Gray: Ella, I'm minutes from arriving at your apartment to rudely awaken your ex. Both figuratively and literally. We can exchange pleasantries later. Can Jason pick up your car keys?

Ella Pador: Yeah, sure. No problem. How did you get this organized so fast?

Nate Gray: It was pretty easy. They were all bored last night since you girls were having "drunken fun times" without them. Shane's words. Not mine.

Ella Pador: Oh, well, okay. I guess…call me if you need anything? And don't let Shane touch my underwear drawer okay? I don't trust him to NOT put them on his head.

Nate Gray: I'll try my best.

EllaPad Seriously, I have the best friends a girl could ask for. Going back to sleep now.

"Hey, Ella, it's Jason. What does your car look like again? And do you remember which section of the garage you parked it in? This parking garage that belongs to your building is huge."

"Um, hey, El. It's Shane. I may…or may not…have lied to your ex-boyfriend. Just a little bit. Nothing major. Just a little white lie that—Dude, chill, I will tell her you had nothing to do with it. Okay, okay! Geez. I, um, may have said that you and Nate were sort of…dating. It was a lie true, but damn if Jake isn't hard headed. He kept talking about 'wooing' you. What guy talks like that? That's not…you know in one of those girly romance novels Mitchie likes, I mean. He wouldn't shut up no matter how many times we told him it was over. So, I thought…if he thought you had a boyfriend then that would fix things. And it just kind of slipped out—I'm telling her okay! Shut up! Nate had nothing to do with it what so ever. He wasn't even in the room when I said it. Sorry probably won't cut it, but…well, sorry?"

Messages:

Ella Pador: SHANE! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?

Shane Gray: I'm sorry! But it's not my fault! Blame Jerkwad Jake!

Ella Pador: If you weren't engaged to my best friend, I swear…

Shane Gray: You swear what?

Shane Gray: El?

Shane Gray: Ella?

Shane Gray: Oh God, are you giving me the silent treatment? I hate the silent treatment.

Shane Gray: …Ella?

"You're dating someone else? It's only been a month, Ella! Thanks for telling me! It's not like I've wasted a month thinking you were going to come back! Did you even wait till we were broken up to start dating him? I bet you didn't! I always thought there was something between you and that sell out! You can't do this to me, Ella! I can't believe you moved on and didn't tell me! And why'd you send him to come get your stuff? Were you trying to rub it in? You're such a child. By the way, what did you do with my bean bag chair? I can't find it…and there's currently no furniture in the living room. Also, I wrote you a song. Expect an e-mail. And you still owe me rent."

ShaneGrayC3 Surely EllaPad can't ignore me on a public forum like this. Right? Ella? I'm sorry! #EllaSilentTime: 1 hour.

ShaneGrayC3 Um, MitchieOfficial how mad is she? Should I run away to Mexico? #EST: 2 hours.

Messages:

Mitchie Torres: God, please talk to Shane. He's driving me crazy.

Ella Pador: No. He has another three days left on his sentence.

Mitchie Torres: Sentence? Really, Ella?

Ella Pador: Yes, SENTENCE. He's been sentenced to four days of silence. When you're as much of a talker as Shane is that's pretty much the worst punishment ever.

Mitchie Torres: Great. This just means he'll talk twice as much. I love him but…I don't know if I can take that.

Ella Pador: You're his fiancé. I'm sure you have your ways of shutting him up.

Mitchie Torres: Oh, I guess I do. Nevermind, I think I can make this fun for me. You're the best.

Ella Pador: I try.

To: Ella Pador (ellampador-at-splendide-dot-com)

From: Nate Gray (NateGrayC3-at-viberecords-dot-com)

Subj: So, I know you're sort of upset…

But do you want to go by the storage locker and see if there's anything you need or want right now? I can take you. If you want that is.

Nate

PS. Sorry about Shane. He just doesn't know when to shut up sometimes. Could I make it a bit better if I bought you that huge tub of Sour Patch Kids you saw at the ice cream place the other day?

To: Nate Gray (NateGrayC3-at-viberecords-dot-com)

From: Ella Pador (ellampador-at-splendide-dot-com)

Re: So, I know you're sort of upset…

Maybe. If they come with a pint of Haagen Dazs.

I just got a voicemail from Jake. He's not happy. He thinks I cheated on him. With you. Which I didn't. But it's not like he'd believe now anyway. And, really, why do I care? I don't want him to be a part of my life anymore so he can think whatever he wants about me. Also, he said he wrote me a song. Should I be scared?

To: Ella Pador (ellampador-at-splendide-dot-com)

From: Nate Gray (NateGrayC3-at-viberecords-dot-com)

Re: So, I know you're sort of upset…

I'm coming over (with Haagen Dazs and Sour Patch Kids) and then we're going to the locker so you can pick through your stuff. I think you need to get out of Caitlyn's apartment for a bit. See you in 15.

Nate

From the desk of Ella Pador:

To be done:

1. Ignore Shane (3 more days)

2. Buy Nate a very nice thank you gift for being so nice

3. Find a new apartment

4. Grow a backbone (Still haven't done it. It's harder than I thought.)

5. CHANGE NUMBER!

6. Set e-mail to send anything from Jake to spam

7. STOP MAKING CRAPPY LIFE DECISIONS

From the journal of Ella Pador:

GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH MY LIFE LATELY? Poor Nate, he somehow always ends up in the middle of it too. Like today. Which, by the way, is still bothering me. I'm beyond mortified!

I mean, SHANE TOLD JAKE THAT NATE AND I WERE A THING! LIKE A BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIED THING! Which we aren't! Nate said he came back into the room after Shane had told Jake this and the guy threw a punch at him. That's so embarrassing! My ex threw a punch at Nate! I mean, he missed by like a foot according to Barron, but still…

HE TRIED TO PUNCH NATE!

He's a lunatic. A lunatic who wrote me a song that doesn't seem to have much to do with me at all even if he says it's ABOUT me. He didn't end up e-mailing it like he threatened. He taped it to the windshield of my car as the tow truck towed it away. (Jason was going to pick it up for me but he couldn't get it to start. Apparently it had been sitting for so long that my battery died. So they called a tow to come pick it up.) This song, though…it's called "Fire Gophers Take Over the World". Tell me…WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ME?

And what are fire gophers anyway? I don't think such a thing even exists.

Nate pretty much laughed himself silly when I handed him the paper Jason brought back to Caitlyn's. I was going to throw it out but Nate said he wanted to keep it. I've never seen anything make Nate laugh so hard before so I let him have it. Whatever floats his boat.

Anyway, after Nate escaped Jake with my stuff and I got over most of my funk he came over to take me to the storage locker where the guys had stashed my furniture and other items for me. First he sat with me while I ate Haagen Dazs vanilla ice cream covered in Sour Patch Kids but once I was done with that and put away my leftovers he drove me out to the storage locker so I could see my stuff.

I wanted to make sure Jake hadn't ruined anything during the month he'd been in my apartment without me. Once I'd checked over everything I plopped down on my couch inside the storage locker and sighed. I bit my bottom lip as I looked up at Nate and apologized. Somehow he always ends up involved in my drama.

"I'm really sorry, Nate. I should have just gone over there myself and then this wouldn't have happened."

Nate sat down next to me and casually put an arm around my shoulders. "It's not your fault, Ella. It's Shane's. And Jake's. But it's definitely NOT your fault."

"I just hate that you somehow ended up in the middle," I told him as I leaned my head against his shoulder. I couldn't help it. It just felt so nice to have a STRONG pair of shoulders to lean on. Nate's shoulders were much better than Jake's. Jake's were bony and…wimpy. Nate's felt solid and safe.

Nate shrugged and squeezed my shoulder. "I actually didn't mind so much. With the exception of the attempted punch. I could have done without that, but if I was upset at all it's because I was worried about how you would react. I know work has you stressed and then there's all this stuff with Jake and I didn't want to add anything on top of that."

I smiled softly at him and was suddenly amazed by how truly thoughtful he was. He may have trouble expressing himself most of the time, but when he really cared about someone he worked hard to show them in other ways. I feel fortunate to be one of those people he really and truly cares about. That thankfulness I was feeling suddenly found its way to my eyes and I blushed as I felt them start to water. I knew what was coming. I was about to start crying. Happy crying, but still…crying. Nate was going to think I was an emotional mess. I mean why was I really crying? Because I have such amazing friends that happily get involved in my drama and have my back even when they KNOW I've made sucky decisions?

Yes. The answer was yes. I instinctively curled into Nate and burrowed my face into the curve of his neck. My arms went around his chest and brought my knees up to my own chest. I ALMOST crawled into his lap. I seriously thought about it but managed to stop myself before I could act on it.

"Hey, hey, Ella," Nate said softly as he quickly wrapped his arms around me. "It's okay."

I sniffled and took a deep shuddering breath. "I—I know—" sniffle. "—it is." Deep breath. "I just—" sniffle. "—thought about—" deep breath. "—how I have all these people that are here for me and how…I never had that growing up—" sniffle. "—not really. I wanted it but I didn't—and now I—" Deep breath. "Why is everyone so nice to me? I'm whiney and needy and awkward and I don't deserve ANY of this. I really don't."

Nate's chest rose and fell slowly as he took a few deep breaths himself. He sighed and rubbed my back comfortingly before he slowly kissed my forehead. "Oh, Ella, when are you going to get it?"

"Get what?" I asked as I sniffled again.

"You deserve everything. You deserve friends, you deserve happiness, and you deserve…to be loved," Nate said as he pressed his cheek to the spot his lips had just touched. "Just because you've never 'really' had it doesn't mean you haven't always deserved it."

I didn't really know what to say to that. I still don't know what I should have said. I decided to just sit there in his arms and process what he'd said. He seemed to be okay with that because he kept his arms around me (and his cheek pressed to my forehead too) and let me sit there like that for a very long time after that. I don't know how long we sat there together, but it felt like hours.

Finally, when I felt composed enough I untangled myself to look him in the eye. "Thank you, Nate."

"Ella," Nate said with a chuckle and a grin. "You don't have to keep thanking me. I'm here for you. No thanks necessary."

"I feel like you've been here for me more than I have been there for you," I told him honestly.

Especially lately. Nate's done so much for me, and what have I done for him? Not much.

"I know you'll be there when I need you, El. I have no doubt about that," Nate said with a wink.

I hugged him and I can't be sure but this time…I think I DID crawl into his lap. Just a bit. For some reason I couldn't get close enough. He was being so sweet and lately he was just ALWAYS there. He's constant, and the older I get the more I appreciate that. What did I do to deserve a friend like him? He just cares about me so much and he doesn't have to say it for me to know it. He shows me that he cares every time we hang out. And no one else has been whatever he is to me EVER. Today just made me realize that I don't think I want to have a life without him. I want him to always be there for as long as I live.

But…with that realization comes confusion. What does that mean? Because when I read over it…well it seems to be a feeling that surpasses anything platonic. Do I have feelings for Nate? Since when? And what kind of feelings are they? I mean I've known him since we were 15 and he's been one of my best friends ever since. But now it seems that he's slowly become the MOST important friend that I have. His opinion means just about everything. And when I'm with him…I forget everything else and I feel like he makes me…better. He wants me to the best version of myself that I can be and he makes me feel safe and…cared for. Truly cared for – the way I've always imagined people SHOULD care for eachother.

Oh God, I think…

I think I'm in love with Nate. How is this possible? I've been dating someone else for five years and only broke up with that someone else four weeks ago! I can't be—it doesn't make sense!

But then…it totally does. Make sense, I mean.

I'm confused and yet…I feel like I should have seen it sooner. I shouldn't have wasted five years on Jake because I think what I feel for Nate started LONG before Jake came along. I should have seen it then and then maybe…

Well, maybe things would be different NOW if I HAD seen it then.

Oh my God, I love Nate. I'm totally head over heels in love with Nate. And I'm pretty certain that I always have been. Why am I such an idiot? I should have totally seen this coming. It was right in front of my face this ENTIRE time.

…

Now what do I do? How am I supposed to act around him now? Oh good lord, what if he doesn't feel the same way? What if I'm like his little sister or something? Ugh, I think I may be sick. My stomach feels nervous all of a sudden.

Oh God, what if he doesn't love me and my confessing that I love him will completely ruin our friendship? What if I lose him over this?

I think I need some wine. And to just…stop thinking.

To: Ella Pador (ellampador-at-splendide-dot-com)

From: Ashley Jenkins (ajenkins-at-splendide-dot-com)

Subj: It's currently 11 AM…

And you are not at your desk. You also haven't called to either say you'll be late or say that you're sick. I realize you've barely been working for me a year, but I do expect my assistants to act like responsible employees.

This will be noted in your personnel file.

Ashley Jenkins

Style Editor, Splendide Magazine

"Okay, it's Cait. I was just calling to see if you ever got up. You were still resolutely asleep when I left this morning. Don't think I didn't see the half empty bottle of wine on the coffee table. Were you up late drinking? You know wine knocks you out, girly. If you don't call me soon I'm coming back there to make sure you're still alive."

"You've reached the office of Ashley Jenkins, Splendide style editor. I'm not in the office at the moment but if you'll leave me a message with your number and a short statement as to the purpose of your call and I'll get back to you."

"Hello, Ms. Jenkins, it's Ella Pador. I woke up late and sick. I was too far gone to call this morning, honest. My roommate couldn't even wake me. Well, she's not really my roommate I'm just crashing on her couch because I have no where to live at the—nevermind. I'm sure you don't want to hear about that. I won't be coming in to work today and I am sincerely sorry. I just feel much too upset to my sto—oh God, I have to go."

Messages:

Nate Gray: Cait says she can't get you to answer. Is everything okay? I went by the magazine offices and you weren't there. Getting a bit worried, Ells.

Shane Gray: So I realize you're probably still not talking to me, but my brother is about to blow his top. His imagination is making up worst case scenarios. Like that you slipped and fell in the shower and cracked your head open and there's no one there to call 911 for you and—oh god. Now I'm worried. Should I call 911?

Jason Gray: Everyone has decided that if we don't hear back from you soon we're going to break down Caity's door to make sure you're okay. I'd rather not have Caitlyn mad at me for breaking her door but I'd also like to know that you haven't been in some horrible accident.

EllaPad I'm alive! I promise! Or I think I am. I may not be for much longer though. I really need to work on my alcohol tolerance.

Messages:

Peggy Dupree: Please tell me your boss isn't following you on Twitter because if she is you should IMMEDIATELY delete that tweet. Also, just a warning…Nate's on his way over.

Ella Pador: No! He can't be! Stop him! I look like crap!

Peggy Dupree: Um, he took off the minute you posted that tweet, El. There's no way I could stop him, and even if I could…I doubt he would listen.

Ella Pador: Oh shit! He's here. Crap, crap, crap, crap!

Ella,

I know you're there. Open the door. I've been knocking for like an hour. Can I just please have visual confirmation that you're alive?

Nate

PS. Sorry this is on the back of a receipt. It's the only piece of paper I could find in my pocket.

"Um, I know this is bad timing and all. What with you being sick and freaking cause Nate's there and you don't look your usual best, but…well, Barron just brought me copies of several tabloids. And the pictures on the front of them are…well kind of intimate. Were you and Nate cuddled up on a couch somewhere recently? Cause they've got pictures of it and then they've interviewed Jake so you and Nate are the talk of the town this morning. We all literally just found out. So, heads up, and maybe stay in today. Connect Three's publicist is on it. This is Peggy, by the way."

To: Ella Pador (ellampador-at-splendide-dot-com)

From: Michael Blackwell (mblackwell-at-hottunesmedia-dot-com)

Subj: Wait! Don't delete me!

Hello Ms. Pador,

I'm Mike Blackwell. I'm a blogger for Hot Tunes Online and I was wondering if you'd be willing to let me do a feature on you. Or if I could get some questions answered about today's photos. C3 fans are dying to know the truth.

Thanks in advance,

Mike Blackwell

Blogger, Hot Tunes Online

To: Nate Gray (NateGrayC3-at-viberecords-dot-com)

CC: Ella Pador (ellampador-at-splendide-dot-com)

From: Tina Graves (tgraves-at-viberecords-dot-com)

Subj: How am I supposed to respond to the trashy mags?

I know I'm your publicist and I'm supposed to have this all under control but these pictures are legit. The interview I'm told is based on some lie Shane made up to scare this Jack kid away. So that I can explain, but what do you want me to say about the photos? I'm almost convinced you two are a couple myself. If I didn't know you were both currently single and just friends I'd totally be on board the gossip train right now.

Write me back. STAT.

Tina

To: Ella Pador (ellampador-at-splendide-dot-com)

From: Van Pador (vanheadline-at-starrecords-dot-com)

Subj: What?

Please tell me you're not dating him.

Dad

To: Ella Pador (ellampador-at-splendide-dot-com)

From: Ashley Jenkins (ajenkins-at-splendide-dot-com)

Subj: Position open…

Ella,

I thought I would let you know that there is a position open for a feature stylist and that I believe you should apply. Splendide could always use an excellent eye such as yours in our features section. We would love to see your name on a byline sometime soon. Reply with your resume and I'll forward it to my supervisor.

And don't worry about being sick. Take all the time you need. It appears you've been very busy lately.

Best Wishes,

Ashley

From the desk of Ella Pador:

To be done:

1. Ask Cait to get my dry cleaning on her way home (LAST DAY TO GET IT)

2. Find another job (now that everyone thinks I'm dating Nate, Tyranicalsaurus Boss is trying to be my new bestie apparently). Maybe I'll just go out on my own? Start completely over. New job and…

3. Find new apartment.

4. Never drink that much wi

Ella, can you finish this list later? I'm trying to talk to you. You can't keep avoiding me. I'm sitting right next to you.

5. Finish this list, later…I guess.

From the journal of Ella Pador:

I don't even know what to think about today. I really don't. I'm still in shock. Well, I guess it was technically yesterday. Since it's two AM. First of all I woke up with a headache and an upset stomach. I also didn't wake up until 11:30. Which meant I was 3 and a half hours late to work. TB e-mailed me a lecture and I called and left her a message about what happened. Then I got sick for a while again while the gang freaked out. They were calling and texting and I had no idea because I was stuck in the bathroom without my phone.

And then when I did get back to my phone I decided just to tweet what was going on instead of texting everyone back individually. Then Nate came over. Unexpectedly. And I looked BAD. Sweats, ripped up t-shirt (it's from middle school and it's worn out. It looks like a wild animal slashed it to pieces), a sports bra that showed through the holes, and my dinosaur slippers. My hair was all ratty and greasy and I had NO MAKE UP on. None. I probably looked like death. So I tried ignoring him and hoped he would go away, but instead he slipped a note under the door.

It was a note he'd scribbled on an old receipt and slipped under the door. I couldn't ignore him after that, could I? So I let him in. And then, in an effort to avoid him, I checked my phone and discovered I had a voice mail from Peggy.

TELLING US THAT THE PAPARAZZI APPARENTLY GOT PICTURES OF US FROM THE STORAGE LOCKER THE OTHER DAY! They paired them with an interview with Jake and then PUBLISHED THEM. SO NOW EVERYONE IN THE COUNTRY THINKS WE'RE DATING. EVERYONE. I told Nate and then we both frantically checked our e-mails to find out what was going on. My inbox was FULL. I only read a few of them. One from my boss who apparently wanted to give me a promotion now that I was "dating" a celebrity, one from my dad making it clear that he didn't approve of Nate, one from a reporter from Hot Tunes (I also saw I had an e-mail from Pop Informer magazine but I deleted it without reading it. No way I'm acknowledging that rag), and one from Connect Three's publicist.

Of course things would EXPLODE on a day I'm not feeling my best, and I could tell from the look on Nate's face that he was eager to talk about it. Which is rare for him. He doesn't usually like to talk. So I got to work trying to avoid him, but as usual he wasn't having any of it. So I had to give in and sit down and actually talk about the media explosion. Against my will, really.

"I need to get back to Tina soon," Nate said quietly. "What should I tell her?"

"I—I don't know," I said with a gulp. "I have no idea. I mean, will anyone believe us if we tell the truth?"

"Probably not."

I bit my bottom lip and sighed. "Is this a bad thing? Or is it one of those things that will blow over? I mean is it going to hurt your career at all?"

Nate's brow furrowed. "Why would it?"

"I don't know. You hear stories about musicians being told not to date because it might turn their fans against them or something similar. Is this gonna be something like that? N-not that we're actually dating, but I mean if everyone keeps thinking we're dating…"

"If rumors of me dating someone were going to ruin my career that would have happened a long time ago, Ells," Nate said with a small smile. "I wouldn't worry about that."

"I just don't want this to get you in trouble," I said softly as I looked down at my hands.

"What if," Nate started. He cut himself off and took a deep breath. "What if we just go with it?"

I tilted my head in confusion. "You mean by pretending to date?"

He rubbed the back of his neck and gave me a nervous look before he ran a hand through his curls. "Or we could…actually date."

I sucked in a breath and mentally screamed "YES! OH MY GOD YES!" but instead I said, "You and me? Actually date? Like romantic dinners and hand holding and the whole package?"

He nodded. "The whole package."

I gulped and I felt my eyes start to water. "I…I—you mean it?"

"Only if you want me to mean it," Nate said quietly. He was looking me in the eyes and I could tell he was searching for something. Maybe an answer.

I smiled brightly at him and the next thing I knew my arms were wrapped around him and I had him pinned to Caitlyn's couch with my body weight. My head was resting on his chest and when Nate chuckled I felt the vibrations against my own chest.

He pressed a kiss to my forehead and then sighed happily. "Can I take that as a yes?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "That's a yes!"

And that's when he kissed me. Like seriously kissed me. His lips are perfect. Strong, soft, and hungry all at once. I'm not even kidding. No kiss I've ever had even comes close to the kisses (yes, plural) I've shared with Nate tonight. I'm so happy right now. I just…I can't believe this happened. I can't. I guess I actually need to thank the paps for publishing those pictures because…I don't know what would have happened if they didn't. If they hadn't then it's very possible I wouldn't be writing in my journal in the middle of the night while Nate's snuggled up to my back…in his bed. Yes, you read that right. I'm at his apartment. In his bed. And He's sleeping with his arms around me like I'm his favorite teddy bear or something. It's precious. Oh God, he just sniffed my hair. While he's sleeping.

I can't stop smiling. And I don't want to.

Oh, wait he's talking.

"Ella, your pen scratching is keeping me awake."

Oops.

"It's been a big day. I had to write about it while it's still fresh, and besides…I'm much too excited to sleep."

He's laughing against my neck (where he's buried his face)…and—oh God—he kissed my neck.

…

He just…oh my God…

HE JUST SAID HE LOVES ME. HE LOVES ME! He loves me and I LOVE HIM. He kind of just let the words fall out of his mouth but he said them…and then blushed a lot afterward. It was adorable. Don't worry, Nathaniel. I love you too.

I think I'm going to show him how much now. Good night.

Let me just add…

I really love my life. In this moment, it just CAN'T get any better.

To: Ashley Jenkins (ajenkins-at-spendide-dot-com)

From: Ella Pador (Sparkles-at-gmail-dot-com)

Subj: Thanks for the offer but…

I'm attaching a letter of resignation instead. Thank you so much for the experience, but I've realized this position isn't for me. The magazine business as a whole is not really my scene, actually. But, rest assured, I learned a lot from you while I worked for you and I won't forget it.

Best of luck,

Ella M. Pador

Freelance stylist

To: Ella Pador (Sparkles-at-gmail-dot-com)

From: Nate Gray (NateGrayC3-at-viberecords-dot-com)

Subj: Hey you…

Wanna move in with me later?

Love you,

Nate

To: Nate Gray (NateGrayC3-at-viberecords-dot-com)

From: Ella Pador (Sparkles-at-gmail-dot-com)

Re: Hey you…

Are you serious?

Love you too,

Ella

To: Ella Pador (Sparkles-at-gmail-dot-com)

From: Nate Gray (NateGrayC3-at-viberecords-dot-com)

Re: Hey you…

Of course I'm serious. I'm always serious. And why not? You need a place to live and I really like having you around. Besides there's plenty of room in my apartment and you're more than welcome to share my bed with me anytime, Ells. If you weigh the pros and cons there's really no way you can say no.

I mean think about it, last night you were much more comfortable with me than you ever were on Caitlyn's couch.

Right?

Love you.

To: Nate Gray (NateGrayC3-at-viberecords-dot-com)

From: Ella Pador (Sparkles-at-gmail-dot-com)

Re: Hey you…

Haha. You win. I'll move in with you. I mean, a king sized bed and a hot rockstar win out over a leather couch anyday.

Love you too. (We're going to be saying that a lot today, aren't we?)

To: Ella Pador (Sparkles-at-gmail-dot-com)

From: Nate Gray (NateGrayC3-at-viberecords-dot-com)

Re: Hey you…

Ella, I'll be saying that a lot everyday. For the rest of our lives.

Love you.

To: Nate Gray (NateGrayC3-at-viberecords-dot-com)

From: Ella Pador (Sparkles-at-gmail-dot-com)

Re: Hey you…

Is that a promise?

Love you too.

Messages:

Ella Pador: Caitlyn, I'm coming over later to get the rest of my stuff.

Caitlyn Gellar: What? Why? Where are you going?

Ella Pador: Nate kind of asked me to move in. And I said yes.

Caitlyn Gellar: Whoa, really? That was fast.

Ella Pador: Do you think I'm totally crazy?

Caitlyn Gellar: No. We all saw the signs of impending Natella before the two of you ever did. Trust me. We all think this was a long time coming. What happened the other night anyway? And what are you doing about the press?

Ella Pador: Well, I'll save the details for when I see you in person, but…I ended up spending the night at his place. And as long as he loves me and I love him then the press can think whatever the hell they want.

Catilyn Gellar: I see that my tutelage is complete. Well done, my student.

Ella Pador: Thank you, Sensei.