Lord-a-mercy, if anyone is still with this story: THANK YOU. It's been forever since I started this story and updates have been infrequent, to put it kindly. I know it's been a depressing read because (a) Nathan and Haley aren't having sex (my favorite Naley, by the way) and (b) they are suuuuuuuper screwed up messes. BUT finally there is a light at the end of the tunnel. This chapter is a turning point in the Naley relationship ("about damn time" says every reader ever), and I think, I hope, you will enjoy it.

Alternating POVs for the majority of this chapter because if you haven't noticed, I loooooooooove POVs. So yeah, it's choppy and disjointed. (Such a ringing endorsement, I know.)

Alright, enough rambling. I hope you enjoy the latest chapter of In Your Eyes! (And, fingers crossed, it won't be months until the next update.)

After the seventh call to Haley went unanswered, and no return texts to his earlier text messages, Nathan knew something was wrong. He couldn't explain how or why, he just knew. Deep in his bones, he felt an ache, almost as if her soul was crying out to his. It was a feeling he couldn't shake.

After showing up at her apartment, his pounding on the door echoing through the empty space, the feeling intensified. Haley needed him. It pounded in his brain, echoed in every beat of his heart.

He had to find her.

She wasn't at her apartment, she wasn't returning his calls or texts. He had a sneaking suspicion of where she was, but he hoped he was wrong. She had worked so hard these last few weeks, she was so determined to rebuild her life, and the thought that she was throwing it all away shook him to the core. She had been his guidepost the last few weeks, a beacon of light in the darkness that threatened to overwhelm him. He found strength in her, in her fight, in her determination to become the person she once was. She gave him hope that maybe, just maybe, he could do the same. If Haley faltered, what did that mean for him?

He had to find her.

Nathan found himself unintentionally slowing his pace as he neared Tric, as if he was scared to have his fears confirmed. When he didn't see her car in the parking lot, he released a breath he wasn't even aware he had been holding. Perhaps he was overreacting, maybe Haley's phone died or she was taking a nap or she and Brooke had gone to see a movie or a million other things she could be doing other than what was running through his mind.

Although he was tempted to turn around and leave and simply wait for Haley to get in touch with him, a voice inside urged him to go inside, that he needed to be in there right this second…

He walked in and saw her sitting at the bar, a shot glass in front of her. Even from a distance, self-loathing radiated from her and Nathan felt his heart clench at the sight of her hunched over the bar.

"Hales," he said softly as he approached before sitting in the stool next to her.

"Go away," she responded.

"Can't," was his simple reply, and he knew it was the truth. He couldn't leave her, not even if he tried.

Haley snorted and reached for the shot in front of her. Light reflecting off the amber liquid as she lifted the glass, she stared at it and Nathan held his breath as he waited for her next move.

"Hales…"

"I didn't get the job. Not really sure why I thought I would, I mean, would you give a job to me?" Haley's tone was bitter, the words dripping in scorn. "'I spoke with Mr. Collins and I'm afraid that we cannot extend an offer to someone in your…situation.' How I completely and totally fucked up my life, is what she meant."

"Haley," Nathan attempted to interject but she continued.

"Nathan, forget it. Why shouldn't I drink? What reason do I have not to?"

Nathan wanted to scream, you have me!, but something was holding him back. As he studied the broken woman beside him, the woman who haunted his dreams and filled his days with so much hope but who now seemed so lifeless, he felt his heart break. For the first time in his life, he truly understood what people meant by that.

"You have Brooke," Nathan said, reaching out to take the shot glass from her hand. "Your relationship with her is getting better every day."

"The relationship that I almost destroyed because I'm so selfish, that relationship you mean?"

"Hales, you can't keep focusing on the past, you have to look forward—"

"To what, Nathan? Tell me what I have to look forward to," Haley snapped as she turned to face him, her eyes flaring with hurt and shame and anger. "Let's see, I have no job and the possibility of me ever getting another teaching job becomes smaller every day, my family is… well, that's a non-starter right now, you're off gallivanting with some redhead—"

"Wait, what?" Nathan was startled by her mention of Rachel. How did she even know about that? And why would she care?

Focus, Nathan. This is not the time…. He told himself. Focus on Haley.

"Haley—"

"Don't try to placate me like a child, Nathan. I thought maybe there was something between us and, I don't know, it was the one good thing I had going for me, but I misread things and it's fine, it's fine, but you could have told me—"

"Haley—"

"It's fine, Nathan, I swear, I just thought you would have told me you were seeing someone—"

"Haley!" He exploded, utterly confused by the turn the conversation had taken. She sounded jealous of Rachel and did she—did she admit there was something between them, or wanted there to be?

Her scowl deepened. "Do not get mad at me, Nathan Scott. I'm not the one traipsing around with some woman—"

"For the love of God, Haley, please be quiet for two seconds," he groaned, his head swimming. He came to Tric hoping he wouldn't find Haley, and then he did find her and she was as down as he could ever remember seeing her but then suddenly she was angry—at him, no less—and jealous over a non-existent relationship? What the fuck was going on?

"Nathan Scott, I swear…"

Nathan buried his head in hands and took a deep breath before raising it to meet her eyes. "Haley, we need to talk about you and why you decided to come to Tric."

"Well, I was going to talk to you about my shitty day but when I got to your house, you were…occupied, so I figured, why not just head to Tric. What do I have to lose?"

"What do you have to lose? Haley, you've been doing so well these last few weeks, you and Brooke are reconnecting, you had a job opportunity—"

"I didn't get the job, Nathan," Haley bitterly interrupted.

"I know, but you put yourself out there. You took a leap, and maybe this time it didn't work out, but you did it. You did something that scared you," Nathan said, the pride he felt for Haley coloring his words. "That's more than I've done."

"Yeah, I took a leap into being humiliated."

"Hales," Nathan sighed. "You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You are so strong, you're the strongest person I know." Nathan ignored her scoff of disbelief and continued. "I see you struggle but you don't let that break you. You…you give me hope, something I haven't had in a long time."

"Nathan," Haley started before trailing off.

Reaching over to wrap her hands in his, the familiar tingle whenever he touched her warm skin tickled down his spine. "Look, Haley, I don't know what happened with the job today, and if you want to talk about it, I'm always here to listen, but I do know this: when I'm with you, you make me want to be a better man than I've been. Being with you, I not only want to be better, but you make me feel like I actually could be."

"Wow," she breathed. "That's—you really feel that way?"

Nathan nodded.

"I…that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me."

Shrugging, Nathan just sat there. He wanted to say more, to tell her that he couldn't stop thinking about her, that hearing her voice or seeing her was the best part of his day, but unlike Haley, he was too scared to take that leap. He was too screwed up for Haley to ever want him, and he didn't think he could bear her rejection. He released her hands and put his back in his lap because if kept touching her, he didn't think he would ever be able to stop.

The two remained there, the silence building between them.

As Haley sat beside Nathan, silence falling upon them like a heavy blanket, her mind whirled at all the newly discovered information. He was apparently seeing some woman he had never mentioned before, but then he tells her that she gives him hope and makes him want to be better? She was so confused.

She was embarrassed about the job, but she was more upset from seeing Nathan with another woman. When she went to his house and saw him hugging the unidentified woman, something crystallized for Haley: she had completely and totally fallen for Nathan. She had fought her feelings for too long, afraid to make herself vulnerable to someone again. She spent weeks trying to explain them away as simply a crush, but she knew she was just lying to herself.

Over the last few weeks, they had grown incredibly close, and Haley found herself confiding in him in ways she had never had with anyone before, not even Chris. She thought he felt the same but apparently not. She was hurt on several levels that he didn't tell her he was seeing someone. First, that they weren't as close as she thought they were, but secondly, and most importantly, that any future that she dreamed of with Nathan was simply that, a silly, schoolgirl dream destined to never be.

Oh god, what if he had figured out she liked him and didn't want to hurt her since he obviously didn't feel the same? She thought she had kept her feelings under wraps but she was wrong. How long had he been putting up with her?

Oh god oh god oh god oh god…

She needed to apologize to him, for making him worry, for taking up too much of his time that he could have spent with his girlfriend, for being such a screw-up again.

"Nathan," she started before he interrupted her.

"Hales, I don't know what you saw but it's nothing, I swear."

Haley sighed. "You don't have to lie to me. It's okay if you're dating someone, I just wish you felt like you could have told me, Nathan."

He had helped her so much over the last several weeks, the least she could do was push her feelings aside and be there for him. If he wanted to talk about his girlfriend, well, she would hate it and it would crush her, but she would do it for him. She couldn't risk losing him, he meant too much to her.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed ahead. "Nathan, I understand why you didn't tell me, but I want you to know that I'm… I'm happy for you. You've found someone, and I'm sorry that I've been so demanding of your time, when you probably would have rather been with her."

"Haley—"

"It's okay, it is. I thought maybe there was something between us, but I was wrong. I think I just wanted something that clearly wasn't there."

And there it was: just another way she had fucked up her life again…

Nathan wanted to scream. He wanted to grab Haley by the shoulders and kiss her and tell her she was wrong, she was so goddamn wrong, because the only woman he wanted was the one sitting beside him. For so long he thought his feelings were one-sided, that Haley saw him as just a friend, but his dream girl was confessing that she had feelings for him and all he could do was sit there like an idiot.

But as Haley mentioned Rachel again, something in him snapped. He couldn't let Haley think he was interested in anyone but her a moment longer.

"Haley, what you saw, it's not what you think. It's—"

"Nathan, you don't have to apologize for dating someone. We're friends, you can tell me about it."

"Goddamn it, Haley," he exploded. "Rachel.. it's nothing. Well, we used to date back when I was in New York, but what you saw, it's not what you think. We're not in a relationship. She came to Tree Hill to apologize for how our previous relationship ended. That's it. I think she's on her way back to New York right now, actually."

"Well, what I saw looked—"

"Like two people hugging goodbye, that's it. I swear," Nathan explained. "Haley, I…look, it's… what I'm trying to say is, I mean, it's like this—" Goddamnit, why was it so hard to tell Haley how he felt? When he was with her, he felt like he turned into a stuttering little kid talking to the prettiest girl in class.

"What, Nathan? What is it like?" Haley asked, clearly confused by his ramble.

Closing his eyes, he decided to take the leap. "I like you, okay? Like, more than just a friend. I can't stop thinking about you, texting with you is the best part of my day, and whenever I'm with you, I feel more like myself than I ever have in my life," Nathan said in a rush. "Rachel, she means nothing to me. No one occupies my thoughts like you do. I couldn't, I can't be with anyone else because I—I'm crazy about you, Hales. Not Rachel, not anyone else. You."

When he finished his speech, he took a deep breath. He did it, he took the leap, and whatever happened, at least he had that.

"Wow," she repeated after Nathan finished his speech. "That..I mean… wow."

She was stunned by his admission. From the humiliation she had felt after the telephone call from Ms. Downing to the hurt at seeing Nathan with another woman to the embarrassment when she thought that she had made a fool of herself mooning over Nathan to the sheer exhilaration at his confession of his feelings, she felt like she had been on an emotional roller coaster the last couple of hours.

"Nathan—"

"I know I'm not good enough for you, Hales. I know you deserve better than me, you deserve the world, but I want to be that person for you. I want to be the one you call when you're upset or you're happy or you're bored, I want to be the one who takes care of you, who brings you chicken noodle soup when you're sick. I want to be the one by your side as we go through life, through the good and the bad and all the time between," Nathan said. "I want you, just as you are."

Oh god oh god oh god, the one person who haunted her dreams and occupied nearly every thought was telling her everything she had only ever dreamed he would say.

Her mind was spinning. There was so much she wanted to say, but she couldn't find the words. She wanted to grab him and kiss him and tell him that everything he felt for her, all those sweet, wonderful words he said, she felt the same. It was too much and just enough and everything she wanted to hear, but when she opened her mouth to tell him, nothing came out.

Apparently taking silence as her answer, Nathan uttered a soft, "I guess that's it," and stood up. "Do you need me to call Brooke to pick you up?"

Haley shook her head. "No, I haven't had anything to drink. Nath-"

"Okay. Well, I'll see you later, Hales," he said, before turning to leave.

Haley's heart sank as she watched him walk away. In that moment, she knew. She knew this was her last chance. She knew that if she let him walk out the door that her life would never be the same.

"Nathan, wait!"

After he confessed his feelings and she said nothing in return, he needed to get out of there. He needed to be alone. As he walking to the door, he heard Haley call after him and turned to see her rushing toward him.

"Nathan, I—"

He didn't want to listen while she tried to let him down gently. "Haley, it's fine, okay? I misread some things and—"

"I like you," she interrupted. "I like you a lot. I think about you all the time, I can't stop thinking about you, in fact. I thought it was a silly crush, at least I tried to tell myself that's all it was, but when I saw you with Rachel, it just clicked: it's not a crush. It's real, it's maybe more real than anything I've felt in a long time, and it scares me because I don't deserve you, I'm so screwed up, but I like you. And I want more but I didn't know if you did and it sounds like you do but maybe I'm misreading things—"

Her words were cut short by his lips on hers. His hands cupped her cheeks as her hands gripped the material of his shirt. Opening her mouth under his, she kissed him urgently, her tongue tangling with his as they battled for control. She swallowed his moan when she let go of his shirt and looped her arms around his neck, her fingernails scratching his nape. He deepened the kiss, his tongue tracing her teeth and teasing the roof of her mouth while his hands dropped from her face to grip her waist.

Had she ever been kissed like that? Had she ever felt like her world was turned topsy-turvy and yet so incredibly right with just one kiss? Had she ever felt like she was exactly where she was meant to be?

Had he ever been kissed like that? Had he ever felt like he found the place he could call home in a simple kiss? Had every nerve been lit aflame with a single kiss?

They were lost in their own world, where only the two of them existed.

They broke apart, both breathing heavily as they stared at one another.

"That was—," Nathan said.

"Yeah," Haley replied. She shivered when his grip tightened on her waist, the warmth of his fingers burning through her shirt. She couldn't believe he had just kissed her like that. The moment his lips touched hers, every nerve felt like it was on fire.

"Hales, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just kissed you like that," Nathan apologized. He couldn't believe he had just grabbed her like that. What if she didn't like it, what if she was mad, what if—

Shaking her head, Haley rushed to reassure him. "No, no, Nathan, please don't apologize. I-I wanted it."

Nathan couldn't help but smile at her words. He still had a million questions – what did this mean? Did she want to date? Did he want to date? (Yes, yes of course he did.) Could they date? Did they just screw up their friendship? – but right now he wanted to enjoy the moment of having his literal dream girl in his arms.

At his relieved grin, Haley felt her insides flip flop. God, what that smile did to her… She had so many questions for what this meant for them, but right now, all she could concentrate on were her lips that still tingled from Nathan's kiss and the way his hands were kneading the soft skin at her waist.

Questions could be asked later; right now she simply wanted to bask in the moment.

"Hales, what does this mean?" The words fell out of his mouth before he could stop them.

(Apparently the time for basking was over.)

Haley looked around Tric. She had spent so much of her time here over the last several months. It seemed rather poetic, in an ironic sort of way, that the place where she had nearly destroyed her life was the same place where her life began anew. But whatever this was with Nathan, whatever their future held, she didn't want it to be tainted by the memories this place held. She wanted, she needed, to start fresh.

"Can we go somewhere else to talk, Nathan?"

He nodded. "Of course. Why don't we go to my place?"

They quickly left Tric and made their way to Nathan's house. Although consumed by their thoughts, they occasionally glanced at the other and grinned when their eyes met. Nathan marveled at how much lighter Haley appeared, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Haley was amazed at how happy Nathan seemed, an almost child-like grin permanently etched on his face.

They soon were standing on the porch of Nathan's home. Nathan fumbled with the keys, his hands shaking slightly. This wasn't the first time Haley had been in his house, but Nathan knew this time was different. Although the mood was lighter and happier than a short time earlier, there was still a solemnity that echoed between them.

As Nathan followed Haley into the house, it felt like he was making a conscious decision to leave his past behind and move forward with his life, hopefully with Haley by his side.

Haley had visited Nathan's home on several occasions before, but for the first time, it felt like she was reclaiming her life as her own and choosing to focus on her future, with Nathan hopefully by her side all the way.

"So," he said, placing his keys on the table beside the front door.

"So," she echoed, looking around the familiar room.

"Uh, why don't we sit?"

Haley nodded and moved to the couch, sighing as she settled into the soft cushions. "I love this couch. This is the perfect 'hang out' couch. I don't see how you ever leave it."

Laughing, Nathan settled beside her. "Yeah, it is pretty comfortable. There were days where I literally never moved from it."

"My couch is pretty comfy but this, this is like sitting on clouds or something. I may never leave," Haley grinned as she glanced at Nathan.

"Fine by me," he said, and at his words, the mood shifted between them.

"Nathan—"

"Haley—"

They both laughed, an awkward laugh that belied the tension each was feeling.

Nathan indicated that she could go first, and Haley took a deep breath to calm her nerves. "Okay, so we've both admitted that we like each other. And… and that's all I have," she said with a shrug.

Chucking, Nathan scooted closer to Haley until their knees touched. "I think that's all we need, Hales. I mean, it's not rocket science."

Haley shook her head. "I don't know if it's really that simple, Nathan. We both have messy pasts, like, extremely messy pasts, and I don't want to hurt you."

"I don't want to hurt you either, Hales, but we can't live in fear," he told her as he reached to hold her hand, entwining his fingers with hers. "I'll admit that I'm scared because I have screwed up so much in the past, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you or screw this up. But I'm not going to let that fear control me anymore. I want to be with you, Haley James, regardless of the risk. I guess you need to ask yourself: do you want to be with me?"

"Of course I do, Nathan, it's just… my last relationship was a disaster, I'm a mess, and I'm afraid that I'm going to screw this," she said, waving her free hand between the two of them, "up, and I don't want to do that. I can't hurt you that way, I won't."

"Babe," he said, the endearment slipping out as naturally as breathing. "This is worth the risk. You're worth the risk, and I promise that I'm going to try so damn hard to be worth the risk."

Haley wanted to cry at the sincerity of his words. Nathan was such a good man, and it killed her that he couldn't see it. Ever since they met, he had consistently put her needs before his own, and now she wanted to do the same for him. She wanted to take that leap for him and with him.

"Oh Nathan, you're more than worth the risk. I just… I'm scared," she said. "But I promise you: whatever this is between us, I want it. More than anything."

Nathan felt his pulse race at her declaration. His stomach was turning flip flops at the thought of no longer fighting his feelings for Haley or trying to convince himself that he was being foolish for wanting to be with her. He wanted to shout from the rooftops that he was dating Hal—he better check to be sure.

"So are we dating now?" He asked.

Haley laughed and wiped a tear from her eye. "I guess we are."

"So does this mean I can kiss you whenever I like?"

Nodding, Haley released his hand and grabbed his shirt, pulling him even closer until his lips were a breath way. "Oh definitely," she whispered before pressing her lips against his.

As they kissed, Haley's hands left his hair to run through his hair, her fingers tangling in the dark locks.

She gripped his hair tightly as Nathan moved from her mouth, pressing kisses along her jaw line, taking long moments to tease her. He spent long moments nibbling the gentle curve, and a surge of desire shot through her when his tongue licked a hot stripe along her jaw. Thank god they were sitting down because she would have fallen over if she was standing up. Her hands drifted down to tease the nape of his neck as they continued to kiss.

Nathan had to fight to keep himself from pinning Haley to the couch when her hands ticked the back of his neck. Her low moans when he suckled her pulse point had him tightening in his pants. Goddamn, he had been kissing Haley for about two minutes and he was about ready to burst. He felt like he was a freshman again, making out with the hottest girl in school.

Fighting through the haze that clouded her mind when Nathan kissed her, she tried to push him back so they could get into a more comfortable position, but her attempt faltered when he trailed kisses down her throat. Before she could react, he enveloped her in another kiss, crushing his lips against hers. Bringing his own hands into action, he tunneled hands through her hair, and she sagged against him as the arousal building low in her belly threatened to overwhelm her. She finally got the strength to push him so he was reclining against the back of the couch and, without another thought, she quickly straddled him.

"I like a lady in charge," he muttered against her mouth. Jesus Christ, he didn't know how much more he could take. Haley straddling him nearly had him coming in his pants.

She gripped the top of his shoulders tightly as she kissed him. His tongue darted into her mouth to tickle along her teeth, teasing the roof of her mouth, and the low flame of desire building within her turned into a bonfire. She pressed closer to him, her breasts crushed against his hard chest, as he deepened the kiss even more. Just when she felt she was about to pass out from the lack of oxygen, he backed off, gentling the kiss until their lips were barely pressed together.

"Holy shit," he whispered and smiled against her mouth.

Haley giggled and pressed her face into his neck, breathing him in. "I think I'm going to like this dating thing."