"This is a bad idea. A very, very bad idea," Kurt whined, worried to death that the one detail that Blaine had insisted upon for their wedding would turn to disaster.

"Relax, Kurt. I've thought it all out. It'll go swimmingly." Blaine sat nearby brushing Bentley's sleek fur. Or attempting to brush it, anyway. He was far more interested in biting, batting, and otherwise playing with the wire bristled brush than he was in sitting still to let Blaine groom his fur.

"He's a cat, Blaine. A cat. And we have lived with him for several years, now. Since when has he ever done anything that you wanted him to do?"

"He comes when I call him!" Blaine protested.

"He sure does. Because you only seem to actually call his name when you have a can of cat food in your hands. He's not obeying you; he's Pavlov's cat. He's conditioned to respond to the sound of that can cracking open."

Blaine chuckled. "Maybe we should have someone stand down at the end of the aisle and crack open a few cans if things start to go awry."

Kurt began to panic. "Blaine, you promised nothing would go wrong! No, we can't do this. We need to change our plans. There are still a couple of hours. Quinn's little boy will be here – if we tell her to run out and grab him a basic black tux, we can have him do this and then our wedding won't be ruined and -"

Blaine sat in front of the man who would become his husband in a few short hours, gently grasping his arms and making him stop his rambling. "Honey, stop. It'll be fine. If it's not, I'll…" Blaine stopped for a moment to ponder what he could offer to placate Kurt should he be wrong and his plan backfired. "I'll buy you that Burberry coat you've been lusting over."

Kurt's eyes grew wide. He was somewhat conflicted, though. On one hand, he really wanted that coat, but on the other hand, it felt utterly wrong to bet against his own wedding. After a few moments, he stuck out his hand. "Deal."

After checking the time and deciding they had better get a move on, they packed Bentley into his cat carrier and tossed the brush and a few other things they'd need for him in a bag. All three of them loaded their things and themselves into the car and drove to the venue where the ceremony was to be held.

Blaine and Kurt chose a relatively plain hall to hold their combination wedding/reception in. While their lives were comfortable, they were not extravagant, so they chose to be wise with their money and cut corners where possible; in choosing the local community center, they saved a lot of money that could be put toward their honeymoon. Besides, both men knew that Kurt was a wizard with decorations and could work wonders with a few fake flowers and a roll of crepe paper (not that he WOULD, but he could).

The night before, Kurt had left willing friends and family with detailed instructions on how to transform the bland community room into the wedding of his dreams. His vision was well thought out, and his worker bees had carried it out to perfection; the place looked stunning, and Kurt couldn't help but shed a tear as he witnessed his brainchild come to life.

"Wow," Blaine breathed behind him. "I've got to hand it to you, love, this is more than even I expected, and I know what kind of magic to expect from you."

Kurt glanced around the large room and caught sight of the cake artist carefully placing the cake on a large round table near where the banquet tables for the reception were being set up. "Oooh, quick, honey, cover your eyes!"

"What? Why?"

"Pleeeeeaaaaaase? Just, don't look, okay? I want to show you something," Kurt said excitedly.

Blaine had left ninety percent of the details of the wedding up to Kurt. He went to food and cake tastings and offered his honest opinion, but he let Kurt make final decisions. He let Kurt decide the color scheme and made sure that his suit, one of his only responsibilities, matched. He only wanted input on the music played at both the ceremony and the reception, and Kurt was more than happy to give him free reign on that, but beyond that, he just wanted to know when and where to show up and he'd be there with (figurative, or else Kurt would kill him) bells on. Marrying Kurt was the name of the game, and all the rest was just details.

It was for this reason that Blaine had absolutely no idea what the cake Kurt ended up ordering looked like, but Kurt was obviously anxious to show him, so he dutifully covered his eyes and let himself be led to the dessert table. The excitement was vibrating through Kurt, so he knew whatever he was about to be shown was going to be good.

"Okay, one, two, three, open your eyes!" Kurt counted.

Blaine opened his eyes and was touched to discover that, while the cake itself was a very plain, slightly textured pure white fondant tiered cake, the base of each layer was adorned with one of his favorite bowties. There was the navy and red boldly striped bowtie that was meant to mimic his old prep school's straight ties, the bright solid bubblegum pink bowtie that Kurt absolutely hated and kept trying to throw away without Blaine noticing, the robin's egg blue bowtie that he got as a souvenir when they saw Daniel Radcliffe in How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, and the black with white stars bowtie that he wore on the very first Christmas holiday they spent together with Kurt's friends and family. Kurt's most interesting choice was the cake topper. It was another one of Blaine's ties: the reversible one that had a yellow square floral pattern on one side and navy with thin red and yellow stripes on the other. He had the cake decorator make it so one side of the tie showed one pattern and the other side showed the other. Blaine guessed its symbolism right away: two parts become one whole.

The cake was a mishmash of different colors and textures, but it came together as one cohesive unit, and Blaine couldn't have been more pleased. Couldn't have been more speechless either.

"Kurt, I – " his voice broke, and he swiped his hand across his eyes to try to disguise the tears that threatened to fall. "It's beautiful. I– I just love it. Thank you."

Kurt pulled Blaine into his arms and kissed him softly on his trembling lips. "Stop, honey, don't cry. We don't want you to be all red and puffy for pictures later, do we?"

Blaine took a deep breath and chuckled. "No, I guess we don't. But really, thank you. You put so much thought into that. It's incredible."

"Don't mention it. At least, don't mention it right NOW. Later, you'll be allowed to thank me for it as many times as you can handle." Kurt's voice went into his lower register as he spoke, and it caused Blaine's face to flush for an entirely different reason.

xXxXxXx

Kurt's friends and family shuffled him out of the hall almost as soon as they saw him. He was assured and reassured that they had everything under control and insisted that he spend the remainder of the time before the ceremony was to take place getting dressed and resting.

"Rest," he scoffed. "Like I can REST on my wedding day."

"Nerves getting to you?" Blaine asked as he walked into the holding room where Kurt was pacing back and forth.

"I'm nervous only that this won't go off exactly as I have planned." He walked over to Blaine and gathered him up in his arms. "I'm excited, however, to marry you."

"Good. Same here."

"There's still time to get Quinn's son. Maybe not so much get him into a tux or anything, but I saw him – Quinn's got him dressed up pretty cute. He wouldn't clash."

"No, we're going to try this," Blaine asserted. "Bentley was instrumental in getting us together, it's only right he should be here."

"Okay, if you insist. But you should start getting him ready if you haven't already done so," Kurt said. "There's not too much time before we start."

Blaine went to Bentley's cat carrier and was greeted by a very disgruntled looking cat. "Uh oh," he thought to himself. He pulled Bentley out of the carrier and Bentley struggled to get free. Blaine held him close to calm the flailing limbs and immediately regretted it – he was instantly covered in cat hair.

Kurt looked over at him and grinned at Blaine's predicament. "You're lucky I have the mother of all lint rollers over here. You're gonna need it."

Blaine rolled his eyes at his partner and returned his attention to the cat. After a short battle, Blaine managed to get Bentley harnessed and leashed. It was obvious, however, that Blaine had never harnessed the cat before, or he would have known what would happen once Bentley was restrained.

Kurt looked at Bentley and giggled. Bentley, in protest over the indignity of the harness, became dead weight. He huddled down in a bread loaf shape and refused to move. Blaine tugged on the leash and Bentley tipped over on his side and made absolutely no effort to right himself. Blaine picked him up and attempted to set him on his feet, but that didn't work, either; Bentley simply melted back down into a puddle on the floor. Long story short, the cat wasn't moving.

Blaine gently tugged on the leash, futilely hoping that by threatening to drag him, Bentley would all of a sudden agree to walk, but Bentley was smarter than that. He knew Blaine would never purposely drag him, so he saw no reason to get up.

"FUCK," Blaine swore.

"Now now, honey, language," Kurt scolded him, trying not to laugh directly in Blaine's face. "Never tried leashing him before?"

"No. I didn't even stop to think that he might not walk on a leash."

"Blaine, sweetie, you know way more about animals than I do, and even I know that the few cats there are that will walk on a leash are practically freaks of nature."

Blaine threw himself down in a chair, obviously for a loss at what he was going to do.

"So, what now?" Kurt ventured.

"I guess I'm just going to have to carry him down the aisle myself," Blaine said.

Kurt frowned. "But he's going to get fur all over you."

Blaine sighed in frustration. "I know. But that's just the way it's going to have to be, all right?"

"Calm down, don't snap at me."

"I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

"Always." Kurt pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and noted the time. "Come on. We need to get his bowtie on in the next few minutes or he's not going with us regardless and we'll just have to carry out own rings. I suggest you put the bow on before you unharness him so he will be cooperative."

"Good plan," Blaine agreed. He pulled the cat-sized bowtie, a stunning emerald green satin one, out of his pocket and threaded the rings securely onto it. Once he had fastened it around Bentley's neck, he quickly removed the harness and wrapped his arms around the cat to corral any escaping limbs. Surprisingly, Bentley did not struggle and merely settled himself comfortably into Blaine's left arm.

"Hmm, this might actually work okay. He doesn't seem to be unhappy," Blaine said.

"Shush! Don't jinx it!"

They hurried to the door leading into the main hall and were just in time to see their ushers, Sam and Mike, closing the doors in preparation for the wedding party to enter. Kurt and Blaine had two attendants each, and they were walking down the aisle in pairs, so it would be a very short procession before they entered.

The musical cue came, and Finn and Rachel, who were standing up for Kurt, walked through the rear doors, and a moment later, Blaine's brother Cooper and his girlfriend Sarah followed.

The music changed, and it was time for Kurt and Blaine to walk down the aisle together. They went with huge smiles and heart eyes, their arms hooked together at the elbows. Bentley was calm in Blaine's arm, sniffing the air around him and looking wide-eyed at all the people in the room. Blaine was thankful that the cat appeared to be okay with his surroundings, but he internally prayed with every step he took that they could get through the ceremony unscathed.

But cats have minds of their own.

They reached the end of the aisle, and Blaine handed Bentley to Sarah to hold for him so he could focus all his attention on Kurt. But what Blaine misread as contentment was actually just the cat waiting, plotting… figuring out his next move.

The moment Blaine's grip on Bentley loosened, the cat shot out of his arms and across the room. The entire wedding party stood in shock for mere moments before both Kurt and Blaine bolted to try to catch the sneaky feline before he could cause any damage.

Blaine pulled a can of cat food out of his suit pocket ("Really, Blaine?" Kurt asked, but Blaine only shrugged and went about his business) and cracked open the lid, accidently spilling some of the gravy inside on his hands. Blaine wrinkled his nose at the smell but continued to pursue the cat. Bentley had heard the familiar sound of the can opening, and while normally this would cause him to run toward the sound, he wasn't dumb – he knew this was a ruse.

Bentley jumped onto the buffet table and watched his humans slowly close in on him. There were other humans in pursuit behind him, but he wasn't worried about them. Kurt and Blaine slowly inched toward him. Their guests were on their feet behind them, holding their collective breaths. Blaine lunged toward Bentley, but he was too quick. He bounded across the table to the other end, where thankfully the Sterno-heated chafing dishes hadn't been lit yet. He sat between two of the stands, tail slowly flicking back and forth, waiting for someone to try to make a move.

Two of their guests attempted to sneak up behind Bentley to catch him, but again, they weren't quick enough, and Bentley leaped across to the cake table. He perched himself on the far edge of the table, somewhat hidden by the cake. Kurt held his breath.

While the sound they heard next wouldn't normally be any cause for concern to anyone, that day, in that moment, it made Kurt's blood run cold.

"KITTY!" screeched one three-year-old Camden Michael Fabray-Hart.

"Oh no," Blaine whispered.

Before anyone could fully grasp what was about to happen, the toddler ran toward the display table in hopes of getting his grabby little hands on the cat.

"CAMDEN!" Quinn yelled. "You get back here this instant!"

But the small child didn't listen to his mother. He was bound and determined to get to the interesting looking furry creature on the table as fast as his little legs could take him.

Bentley took note of Camden's imminent arrival and crouched down. The moment the child got too close for his comfort, Bentley sprang from the table and landed behind the floor length curtains covering the picture window behind the food tables.

Kurt breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that since the cat was gone, the danger was gone, but his relief was premature; the child hadn't yet stopped moving. Camden crashed into the edge of the table. He instinctively grabbed onto the edge of the table to try to save himself, but the unfortunate thing was, the table was supported by a single pedestal in the middle rather than four legs around the outside. Though he weighed only about thirty-five pounds, between his weight and the momentum he still carried within him, he pulled down the edge of the table just enough to tip it over.

The next few moments passed like a slow motion scene in a movie. The guests gasped, Blaine lunged for the little boy, Kurt lunged for the cake, and the cat watched with great interest from his hiding place. Blaine was too late to pull the child out of the path of the table, but an angel was watching over him; the table landed completely clear of any body parts. The cake, however, flew straight toward Kurt, but Kurt wasn't able to actually catch it. His hands grasped at the edges of the cake's base, but his fingers were unable to gain purchase. It slid right through his hands and landed on his shiny black wingtips, splattering his pant legs and everything within a foot radius around him with fondant shreds and chocolate cake crumbs.

"NO!" screamed Kurt. As tears ran down his face, he began to sob, and the rest of the room remained absolutely silent, not knowing what to do. Even Camden, who was normally quite the chatterbox, stared at Kurt standing in the cake mess without as much as a peep.

Kurt covered his face with his hands and continued to cry. Blaine, finally snapping out of his momentary shock, wrapped his arms around his almost-husband and began to speak softly to him to try to calm him.

"It's okay, baby. It's gonna be okay. We're gonna calm down and clean up the mess and then we're gonna have our reception. It's going to be awesome even without the cake. Kurt? Honey? Speak to me, please."

Blaine peeled Kurt's hands away from his face and was surprised to see that somewhere along the way, his shaking sobs had turned into shaking…laughter?

"Oh my GOD, Blaine," he choked out between his gasping laughs. "You should've SEE everyone's faces! I thought I was going to have to get a spatula to scrape your chin off the floor!" Kurt crouched down close to the floor, holding his stomach, he was laughing so hard.

"So, you're okay?" Blaine asked, quite confused by this 180-degree turn Kurt's mood had taken.

"Okay? I'm the one who's getting a fabulous Burberry coat AND the matching scarf out of this! Of course I'm okay!"

"Wait… scarf? Our deal was for the coat."

"Face it – you didn't think things would go THIS spectacularly badly, did you?"

Blaine nodded, resigned. "Point taken."

The cake decorator came up to them, proudly handing Kurt a plate. "I was able to save the top tier of your cake; since the layers essentially sandwiched down on top of each other, the bottom layers were ruined, but this one stayed intact. You boys can either cut into this together, or you can save it in your freezer for your first anniversary, as tradition dictates."

"Maybe we should just save it," Kurt said. "It's not really fair to our guests if we get to eat cake and they don't."

"Oh, but they do!" the baker informed them. Kurt and Blaine looked questioningly at her, and she continued speaking. "I have been making cakes for weddings for twenty-five years, and I have seen many strange things happen. You boys are far from the first couple whose cake was ruined by an animal, a child, or a combination thereof. About ten years back, I started charging what I call an 'emergency cake fee.' For every cake I make, I also make an equivalent number of servings in a basic, plainly decorated sheet cake and bring it along, just in case a cake disaster should occur. I have used that emergency cake more times than I can tell you."

Kurt perked up considerably. "That is so clever of you! I guess we'll be able to cut into it after all!" He began dragging Blaine over to a table with a cake server and cake plates on it. Kurt was just about to pick up the cake server when…

"Um, boys?" Kurt and Blaine spun around to find their officiant waving at them from their makeshift altar. "Forgetting something?"

"Oh my GOD," Kurt shrieked. "We're not married yet!"

Their guests all chuckled at Kurt's one track mind and began to make their way back to their seats. Kurt started to follow, but his shoes squished in the remains of the ruined cake. He looked down to examine his cake-y pants and sighed. Quinn showed up at Kurt's side with a package of baby wipes from the diaper bag she carried with her and made him allow her to wipe down his pant legs and shoes. A few moments later, she deemed him clean enough to get married. She gave him a peck on the cheek and whispered, "I'm so sorry," before sending him off to join Blaine and the officiant to finish the ceremony.

"Well!" said the officiant. "That was quite the start to our time together, now wasn't it?" The guests laughed politely, and the officiant carried on with his welcome and led them through the short but mostly traditional ceremony.

"If any of you has reasons why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace."

"MEOW!" a loud, disgruntled voice called from inside the cat carrier at the back of the room.

"Oh hush, you!" Kurt called back. The whole room filled with laughter.

Kurt and Blaine opted to use the age old wedding vows, changing only the word obey within them, and promised to share their lives with each other. They exchanged the rings rescued from Bentley's bowtie, and then it was official.

"I now pronounce you husbands. You may share your first kiss as a married couple."

"ME-YOW!" the cranky feline called again.

"Patience," the officiant said. "They'll get to you later!"

Having to break away from their first kiss due to laughter, Blaine swooped in and caught Kurt's lips for a much more passionate second kiss. They finally pulled apart after several wolf whistles and catcalls, and Lauren, their photographer, began to take their formal wedding pictures.

Weeks later, the Anderson-Hummels opened a package containing proofs, prints, and originals of all their photos from their special day. While multiple poses were scattered in fancy frames throughout their home, only one was blown up to poster size and hung over their mantel.

In the photo, Kurt and Blaine held Bentley between them and kissed the sides of his head. Bentley faced forward, the emerald green satin bowtie fastened jauntily around his neck, and if you looked closely, there was a hint of a smile on his face.

But the real message was in Bentley's eyes. Anyone else would only see bright green eyes, wide and shining. Blaine and Kurt, however, were practiced at reading their furry friend. In his eyes, Bentley was really saying…

Mission accomplished.

A/N: Okay, this really IS it. We're gonna leave it as the four stages of their relationship: meeting, dating, getting engaged, and marrying. I DO have some outtakes planned, but I plan on making a separate fic for them so I can leave this story as rated T, because one of my outtakes is most definitely NOT T rated *wink*. Be SURE you put me on author alert so you can catch all of Bentley's future shenanigans :)