Title: As One Door Closes – Part One

Genre: CSI MIAMI – Romance/Angst

Paring: Horatio and Calleigh

Rating: T

Timeline: Reflective – Slightly AU – but with the show being cancelled this is my muse's Cannon

Spoilers: Many implied.

Summery: She's always been there. He could always count on her. However, he found himself seeking her out, only to remember that she wasn't there anymore… And he needs her.

Disclaimer: Once upon a time, there was a team of writers who created these characters… And then a huge conglomerate forced them to stop growing them. I guess it's up to us Fanfic writers to continue now.

Author notes: Missy retaliated at the news… she does not like having her toys treated in such a manner. Then stated that if they can do that, then she can force Calleigh and Horatio together, and pretty much do just what she likes… and no one can scream AU at her. So, to the other Calleigh pairing shippers – Go, write your own stories. THIS IS DUCAINE TERRITORY!

Written: May 2012

Word count: 1,263

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Horatio sat on his couch, the sun having long since disappeared below the horizon. The resulting darkness has settled around him like a cloak as he had not bothered to turn on any lights. He sought solace in the darkness that surrounded him, somehow seeking respite in its shadows from events that constantly seemed to surround him. The pounding of the surf against the shore, a sound that had for years served to sooth his nerves, did noting to draw him from his deliberation.

The news of the Lab's closure had been shocking enough to his team. The bureau's decision to pool together resources and establish one central Lab for the processing of all forensic evidence, was proposed to not only cut down on costs of running separate labs, but also to streamline the processing of forensic evidence. It would also render the results impartial. He could understand the decision, the logic behind it. He even supported it. Especially after having firsthand seen the effects the ever-increasing crime rate had on his team, they were drawn thin and budgets just did not allow for more staff. The crimes had also become more complex, needing more time to solve, resulting in backlogs that were almost impossible to process.

For all the right reasons, it was done with the best interest of Miami's citizens' safety. However, for all the logical reasons, it was the personal ones that were the hardest to accept, to make peace with. People do not react well to change. It unsettles them, stresses them and causes unnecessary quarrels to brew. A dejected air had hung over the lab, with new cases being diverted to the other departments in order to facilitate the changeover. And for the last two weeks, he had calmly watched whilst everyone had packed up their offices and laboratories, and moved their equipment to the new facilities.

The lab staff had been the first to leave . . . and with them, Calleigh.

He could understand her reasons for opting to do lab work, and in a way, he was relieved that she had. The life she was embarking on needed regulated hours; needed some level of predictability. Also, and most importantly, in the lab she would be safe. He would not have to worry about the countless incident that can befall field agents, she could not be kidnapped in order to clean up someone's mess, or be pushed off the road in order to have evidence compromised, and possibly being killed. No, in the lab she would be safest. There her ballistics knowledge would be put to its best use. It might have been a demotion in position, however, with her current plans, it was the option best suited to her.

Oh God Calleigh, I really thought I would be okay with this, but I'm not. Letting you go, was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

If ever a person could be an oxymoron, Calleigh was. Her ingenuous appearance had fooled many in the believing that she was impressionably naive, and many had succumbed to the allure thereof. Even he had had the instinctive need to protect her at first. However, he had been quick to realize that behind the façade she so effortlessly carried about her, beyond that sunny disposition that fronted her approach, lay a very firm and formidable disposition. He had watched how she had over the years lost the innocent southern belle appearance, and had morphed into the most alluringly beautiful woman he knew.

He had seen her through numerous relationships, often stunned at the way men treated her. Calleigh is a prize for any man, and should be treated with the utmost consideration and respect. And were it not for the fact that becoming involved with her would have been detrimental for her career, he would have made an attempt. However, he had known how important her career was to her, and had not been willing for rumours to start that she had earned her position and status in any other way than by hard work. He has always been aware of the attraction between them. Had on several occasions even considered that they could have something. However, he had always kept his distance, always denying himself the chance to bask in her attention. He had fed off the little increments she bestowed him. The few touches and small gifts she had given him, they were all immensely treasured.

Oh God Calleigh, I miss you. It's only been three days, but already I feel things closing in around me.

She's always been there. He could always count on her. He trusted her with his life, and knew that if he reached out towards her, she would always respond accordingly – no matter what. He'd found himself on several occasions, during the preceding days, seeking her out, only to remember that she was not there anymore. On every such occasion, a sense of desolation overtook him. How exactly she had come to fill such a prominent position in his everyday life, he still cannot fully fathom. She had just always been there, since the day Meagan had left the lab. Whether it was by her own choice, actions or persistence that she came to be the one beside him, or whether it had been part of a greater scheme of things, he had welcomed her there. She had effortlessly, for years, handled situations well above her level of responsibility, beyond her allocated duties. She had cautioned staff, mediated and organized them when he had been held up somewhere. He had been both elated and proud of her when he had officially promoted her to assistant supervisor, a position she had more than earned.

How could the men in your life have been so irrational as to let you go? How could they not want you? Want children with you?

He still vividly remembers the day the adoption agency approached him for a referral. He had not so much been shocked with the fact that she would consider adopting two children, he'd been stunned by the realization that she had not been planning any children of her own. He has always been able to see her as a mother. Her gentle, caring yet firm disposition would render her a brilliant mother. Neither did he question her abilities to love the children. Calleigh had such a giving heart. He had just always thought she would have children of her own. That somewhere some man would claim her heart, and she would settle down to start a family… And in some ways he felt guilty, certain that his demands on her, their work, the long hours had to a large extent prevented that.

They were fools Calleigh, you, oh God you… None of them were ever worthy.

It was late already; he should go to bed, he knew, however he could not find the motivation to move himself from where he sat. The cold sheets of his bed offered him no solace. In the past, sleep had been a necessity, something he did to get him through the dark hours of the nigh, in order to recharge him, so that he was able to face another day, with it's horrors and puzzles. He no longer sought solace in sleep, for he knew that he was unlikely to find it there. His dreams were filled with images. Images his crying soul conjured up to haunt him. Beautiful images that were excruciatingly painful to experience. Images of her, of him, and what could have been…

Oh god Calleigh, I can't do this on my own anymore…

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Down missy, steady, I'll tell them.
She's clamping at the bit here, an angsty start of what is going to be… WOW!
If missy manages to get everything into it that she's got flying around,
this is gonna be a squee passionate, and just an outright tearjerker, toe curing, happy ending for them.

And rightly so.

My thoughts to all the cast and crewmembers of CSI: MIAMI. I hope that they all find placement with other shows and production teams, as soon as possible.

Thank you for ten years worth of entertainment. You will be missed.