Author's Note: Yeah sorry...it's been a while. Set as a follow on from our favourite Neighbourhood Watch episode.
Disclaimer: Don't own a thing.
Because You're Mine
"Oh Mr. Deeks..." Hetty intervened, "...about those handcuffs,"
Handcu-
Oh.
Oh.
Deeks pursed his lips thinking about how he could approach the oh-so-awkward explanation regarding the furry items in question, yet he thought better of it.
"You know Hetty, I just remembered, I gave Kensi a shirt one of the nights when we were doing that whole you know "'til death to us part" thing cause she dropped double chocolate fudge brownie ice-cream on hers, white shirt too, hers not mine..."
And cue the awkward rambling...
"...yeah, real mess. Anyway me being the perfect gentleman that I am, gave her one of mine cause you know...gentleman right here..." he signalled with his two thumbs pointed inwards, "...just looking out for my partner, you know as you do. Well, not you cause you don't have a part-"
Hetty's eyebrows raised considerably as Deeks tried to control his word vomit.
"- I mean I know you'd look out for your partner, I just mean you're our boss, you're not like...in the field...right now..." he trailed off looking as to how he could get out of the hole he was carefully digging to China. Luckily Hetty wanting to enjoy a nice cup of green mint tea supplied Deeks with a little safety rope.
"I understand Mr. Deeks. How very...chivalrous of you," she smirked at Deeks' discomfort. "You may go and try catch Ms. Blye," Hetty finished as she slowly turned heading off to her office.
"Right. Chivalrous. That's me. Well, no I'm Deeks, but I mean -"
"Mr. Deeks. Your shirt?"
"Right. Yeah. Shirt. Night Hetty," he responded backing around the corner in an action that seemed vaguely familiar to bowing.
"Ugh Deeks!" Kensi huffed catching her phone as he backed directly into her around the corner of the empty hallway.
"Oh Kensi, my bad. I was just -"
"Bowing?" Kensi laughed raising an eye brow.
"What? No. Lumbar issues..." he responded rubbing his lower back for emphasis. "...you know considering you nearly put out my back with your little starfish antics with the way you slept,"
This earned Deeks a long eye roll, something he missed a great deal when they were undercover. He missed his girl, but now she was back -
Wait.
He missed Kensi. Not his girl. His -
Partner. He missed his partner.
"Why are you heading back in anyway?" Deeks asked quickly blocking out the thoughts streaming through his mind. "Missed your hubby, the light of your life?" he teased.
"Hardly," Kensi snorted. "I forgot my laptop charger. Trust me Deeks, you're still as repulsive as ever," she said feigning a shudder.
"You say repulsive, but I hear pulsating," he teased placing a hand over his heart.
"Right. You hear what you want to hear. Should get those voices checked out,"
"This coming from the girl who scares guys away with her split personalities?"
"Oh please. I could've gotten that guy if I wanted to,"
"Oh really?"
"Yeah really. He came over to me remember?"
"Yeah that's cause you were dressed all -" Deeks raised his hands slightly looking for a description.
"All what exactly?" Kensi challenged folding her arms.
"Oh you know...all leggy and there," he signalled pointing Kensi up and down.
"Is that your way of telling me I looked hot?" she countered raising an eyebrow.
"Wha- no!" Her face fell slightly with Deeks' sudden refusal.
"I mean..." he tried again, "...just. That dress. Hardly hid a thing," he joked.
"And you of all people are complaining about that?" she questioned with her flare returning.
Damn this woman and her questions. Made it impossible to answer without getting mocked one way or another.
"I - no. I just...actually now that I think about it, makes me wonder where you managed to hide your gun," Deeks deflected.
Kensi sighed rolling her eyes allowing Deeks to continue on.
"Like was it hidden in the same area as when you kissed me?"
"Oh Deeks would you please get over that already? Yes we kissed. Big deal,"
"No no hunny bun, we didn't kiss, you kissed me. Substantial difference there,"
"Ugh whatever, like I said cover kiss. You seriously need to get over it,"
"Hey I am. You're the one who can't seem to stop talking about it," he threw up his hands in mock surrender.
"What? Deeks! You brought it up!" Kensi exclaimed shoving Deeks into a darkly lit alcove in the hallway with annoyance.
"Mmm nope don't think so," he pondered tilting his head to the side. "But now that you mention it, was it everything you dreamt of and more?"
"Oh God get over yourself," she sighed rubbing her hands through her hair.
"I go by Deeks on weekdays, but after a kiss like that, you can call me whatever you want princess," he winked.
"I'm leaving now," Kensi nodded turning around to leave.
"Wait!" Deeks suddenly started forward.
"What?"
"You never answered,"
"Answered what?"
"I was good wasn't I,"
"Jeez Deeks!" she said throwing her hands up in frustration yet again.
"What? You say it was just a cover kiss -"
" -because it was just a cover kiss,"
"Well then just analyse it. Logically,"
Um. What?
"Excuse me?"
"What? I'm not complaining about you? Why are you complaining about me?" he asked slightly...hurt?
Something inside of Kensi changed a little. Deeks was being serious? She looked at him with her brow furrowed in confusion. The teasing side to Deeks seemed to have left being replaced with more self consciousness and vulnerability. He wanted to know what she thought about their kiss? Was he just looking for her to boost his ego some more, or did he really want to know?
This was a joke. It had to be. He had gotten her alone in a secluded part of the hallway where he was going to get her to tell him how she thought of their kiss, then he would suddenly switch back to being Mr. Big Ego, then mock her unmercifully for being honest. This couldn't end well. Besides. They were partners. That was it. There was no thing between them, regardless of what anyone said.
No, she was not going to fall for his little mind games.
"Fine. If you'll drop it then fine," she nodded in annoyance. "The kiss was...okay I guess," she shrugged non-committally.
"Okay? Just – just okay?" Deeks asked slowly lowering his eyes.
What the - he seemed genuinely...hurt by her response? No. Just mind games. That's all.
"Yeah like mediocre. What do you want me to tell you? It's only you after all Deeks," Kensi laughed shrugging her shoulders once more.
"No I just...was it really that painful for you? Am I actually that repulsive to you?" He asked with a combination of irritation and sadness.
What? No.
"No you're..." Kensi trailed off looking down.
What? Her partner? Her partner that she has a thing with? Her partner that's just messing with her? Messing with her really really well. No. He can't...be? Or...was he?
How did he always manage to get inside her head? No guy had ever done that to her before. He annoys the hell out of her, then suddenly he has her doubting that he knows how important he is to her. She told him she trusts only him a few weeks ago. Did that not mean anything to him?
Deeks, still standing in front of his partner that was currently having an internal war, took her silence as confirmation to his question.
Am I actually that repulsive to you?
Stuffing his hands into his pockets he dared to raise his head. Pursing his lips he nodded slightly looking around as he spoke.
"Ouch. Okay. Way to...hit a guy where it hurts sugar bear," he joked in an attempt to relieve some tension to the situation.
Unsure before, Kensi had her mind made up now. He wasn't playing her. He would never go this far. He really thought she...what was it – found him repulsive? She needed to try fix this. Just reassure him that she certainly didn't see him like that.
"Deeks..." she tried placing her hand over his forearm.
"No no it's cool. I can take the hint. I'll stop," he stepped back from her touch as though he had been burnt.
No. No, she wasn't going to let him think this.
She sighed and spoke quietly just as he was turning to go.
"The kiss wasn't bad Deeks,"
He lifted his head immediately in surprise. Rooted to the spot he locked eyes with her silently willing her to continue.
"For me anyway I guess. It was..." she paused not knowing what she could say without giving herself up.
"Comfortable?" He supplied quietly returning his glance to his hands now fidgeting against his stomach.
She froze slightly opening and closing her mouth a few times before getting any words out.
"Yeah...I – I guess you could say that," she replied quietly.
Comfortable was a safe word right? They're partners, they need to be comfortable with each other. Comfortable. Yeah. That works.
"Kind of like..." he took a step closer taking a deep breath, "...something that..."
"Something that..." she repeated in a whisper eyes never leaving his.
"Something that you wouldn't mind happening once more. Or more than once," he finished softly now taking one of her hands in his.
"Deeks?" she responded with her eyebrows furrowing now looking at their hands.
"Kensi?" he asked rubbing his thumb in circles on her hand.
"What – what are you saying," she laughed nervously.
"I think you know what I'm saying,"
Kensi immediately pulled her hand back from his straightening herself up.
No. Too much. Too dangerous. Too stupid. This was her and Deeks. Deeks. No. Just...no.
"No Deeks...we -"
"What?" He interrupted. "Can't? Kens, I'm not asking you to marry me here," he joked.
"But Deeks -" she said eyes closed in confusion.
"What?" he asked sincerely.
What did he mean? This? Them?
"No. This is...this is..." Kensi began backing up shaking her head.
"This is what Kens? There was more to that kiss than either of us are saying out loud," he responded taking a step closer to her.
How had the tables turned? A minute ago he seemed like a child, so scared vulnerable. Now the roles were reversed.
"N-no," she tried frustrated with how weak she sounded.
"Yes. That mission. Everything about it. It was more than just work. Our thing. Kens come on. Tell me I'm wrong here. Tell me you didn't feel it when we kissed. I need to hear you say it. Say Deeks, you are wrong,"
"Deeks..."
"Say it Kensi. Say it and then I'll stop and I'll never bring it up again," he whispered now holding her arms softly.
"You're..."
Just say it! Kensi's mind yelled. You're wrong Deeks. You're wrong. You. Are. Wrong.
Yet when she went to open her mouth nothing came out.
"I knew it. I knew I wasn't wrong," he smiled softly taking another step closer so that they were standing mere inches from each other. "I don't want to push Kens, but as long as I know we're on the same page I -"
"Kensi?" Nell called over the balcony in the bullpen immediately causing Deeks and Kensi to separate quickly.
"Um..." Kensi shook her head before clearing her mind and plastering on a smile. "Yeah Nell I'm here," she replied around the corner.
"Oh great, thought you left without me," Nell replied now rounding the corner seeing the two partners. "Hey Deeks, thought you went home already?"
"Oh yeah I did I just -" he faltered looking at Kensi then too collected his thoughts "- this one here..." he signalled to Kensi "...has one of my shirts from the last mission that I just needed to get back. Messy eater, you know how she is," he joked.
"Aha yeah, I've seen that once or twice," Nell joked elbowing Kensi playfully. "All right then, you set to go?" Nell questioned causing Deeks to straighten up looking at the pair.
"Go? Go where? Can I come?" He asked like a child.
"Yeah if you want to be a fifth wheel," Nell teased.
Confusion momentarily flashed across Deeks face before he glanced towards Kensi. She looked down at her hands mentally kicking herself...and slightly Nell, for putting that out there.
"Fifth wheel?" Deeks asked sounding thoroughly lost.
"Yeah Kensi and I are going on a double date," Nell replied happily.
"Double date?" he questioned dumbly.
"Yeah...as in a date, except double the amount of people, hence the term double date,"
"With two guys?"
"Right again, Deeks,"
Kensi stayed silent throughout the whole exchange keeping her eyes trained on her hands.
"Oh. These guys...how do you know them?" Deeks asked with his eyes narrowed slightly.
"Kensi. She went out with one of them like what was it? Three nights ago? And then, wait, why am I doing all the talking, you tell him Kensi," Nell laughed while checking her phone.
"Kens?" Deeks pressed.
"I um. Yeah. I went out with Adam three nights ago. He then called telling me his work got a bunch of tickets to the game tonight, so he suggested I bring a friend and he do the same. Just...you know..." she trailed off.
"Right. Course. And um...how do you know Adam?" Deeks asked trying to process what he was hearing.
"Oh we met him the last night out, right Kensi?" Nell asked eyes still trained on her her phone.
"Yeah...yeah that's right," Kensi confirmed looking back up at Deeks.
The pair stood there staring at each other, both possibly trying to see what each were thinking before Nell interrupted.
"Hey Kensi I'm going to see if the taxi's here so I'll meet you out front," Nell said trying to read some email on her phone before calling over her shoulder, "Night Deeks!"
"Yeah...night..." He responded eyes never wavering from Kensi's.
"Deeks -" Kensi started.
"- So that sounds fun then," he interrupted now refusing to meet her gaze.
"Yeah I – I guess," she replied eyebrows furrowed taken aback by his lack of questioning.
Slowly he willed his eyes to meet hers. Her beautiful mismatched brown eyes. Standing there once again in an internal silent battle, the tension slowly crept upon them as the darkness inhibited every corner within the hallway.
Knowing that Nell was outside waiting, Kensi was the first to break her resolve taking a step back pointing to the direction Nell went.
"I should..."
"Right...right," Deeks slowly nodded casting a glance down at his shoes.
As Kensi turned, she heard him ask.
It was quiet; soft.
Broken.
"Was any of it real?"
She turned around once more looking into his shining blue eyes.
Pausing a second too long, Deeks took her silence as denial.
"Ah. Okay. Those damn voices..." he joked signalling to his head, "...always telling me the wrong things."
Reverting back to his old tricks, to anyone else Deeks looked and sounded fine. Kensi knew different however.
"Deeks -"
"Kens forget about this. You know me, always running my mouth off,"
She smiled sadly at this as he began to walk by her with a sad smile of his own.
"Don't forget your charger princess," he whispered and then he was gone.
As she stood there momentarily dazed, she couldn't decide which was the worst; the fact that she had to go out now and act like everything was fine, the way Deeks seemed so broken because of her...or...
Closing her eyes and turning around to leave, charger or no charger, she decided with pursed lips...
...purposefully leaving her charger on his desk just so she could see him again before she went home?
Yep. That was the kicker right there.
A/N: Make my day and review?