"Oh, Scarlett, keep your head down, it's raining harder now," slurred a drunken homeless woman to the orange tabby nesting in her hoodie. She wrapped her thin arms around her chest, drawing the mangy cat's warmth closer to her heart.

"We can't be too careful in this rain, could catch cold," she continued to babble while pebble sized raindrops bruised her fair but filthy skin, matting her knotted hair to her face and neck. Instinctively, her body pushed tight up against the dumpster, using its mass to shield her from the worst of the wind-driven water.

She reached a trembling hand inside the front pocket of her sweatshirt and pulled out a bottle of cheap whiskey. Her fingers were cold and the movement of unscrewing the cap, though practiced, was clumsy; her skin was slick and her knuckles didn't want to flex anymore. She knew the warmth the drink offered was something she'd learned about in a science class once…it wasn't really warming her up, the alcohol was constricting - or was it dilating? - her blood vessels and it was a bad thing not a good thing. But the great thing about booze is with each drink she cared a little less about alcohol poisoning and a little more about…well, she couldn't remember now that the whiskey fog was running strong. Moreover, that was another point made.

The bottle cap slipped from her grip with a clatter, rolling to the other side of the alley. She didn't care enough to retrieve it. Its absence saved her the trouble of unscrewing a cap with cold fingers.

She was tossing back a mouthful when the cat's body jerked in her sweatshirt. She put the bottle down and looked at the animal whose ears had flattened against its skull. That wasn't normally normal, was it?

The cat let out a growl and tried to raise its filthy coat. The woman looked on bemused; the rumble came deep from in the animal's chest through closed lips. Its body vibrated with agitation.

"Oh," she said. "Oh. Tha's rich. You care if I drink now?"

The cat ignored her and the growl rose from a rumble to a near screech.

"Hey, Scarlett. Hey. That sound hurts!"

Scarlett fell silent and tried to retract her head out of sight. The woman considered slapping the silly animal when she felt her skin start to prickle. Drunken haze or no drunken haze, she knew she and Scarlett were no longer alone. Living on the streets was no easy feat for a woman and she immediately tried to stand to make herself look less vulnerable. Her hand grabbed the neck of the bottle in a tight fist as she rose up. Next to her heart, the cat hissed like scrambled eggs on a greased griddle.

"Who's there?"

She looked to the mouth of the alley but the danger dropped from above her. A woman landed in the mouth of the alley, light footed as an acrobat. The stranger cocked her head to the side and smiled kindly. She had hair like corn silk; so pale and fine it shimmered gold in streetlight and silver in shadow. Her red eyes were small, angular and cat-like.

"I found something," she said with an air of conviction.

The homeless woman gripped the bottle tighter and didn't take her eyes off the vampire. A second pair of feet touched the pavement toward the back end of the alley. The cat was making a racket now, sensing the impending doom.

The woman turned her head to see a young man standing at the end of the alley. His eyes were also red, but they were rounder than the female's; his hair was blond too, but cropped short and where the rainwater saturated it, it looked muddy.

The woman waited, but neither vampire did anything but smile kindly at her.

The male spoke, "She reeks of liquor…probably stolen. Nobody will miss her."

The female spoke, "Will he eat a female?"

The woman ignored the danger, ignored that the female they spoke of was herself, her indignation rising at the male's accusation. "…didn't steal." She looked the male dead in the eye and repeated with her own conviction, "I didn't steal. I'm a law adibing, abiding, citi…zen…"

He smiled real friendly at her. "Of course you are."

Well, she could hardly blame him for not believing her, it hadn't always been that way. She had a brief but unsuccessful career as a criminal. Although she couldn't smell it herself, she could only hazard a guess that she smelled like a cow with an infected wound and a drinking problem to boot.

"And I'll tell you another thing," she said taking a step toward him.

"What's that, ma'am?"

Ma'am. So polite. As if they hadn't been discussing letting a third party who had yet to arrive take her to dinner.

"I'm not on the menu!" She swung the bottle at him.

Whether it was luck, fate, or he just didn't expect a human to do something so stupid, her aim was true. The bottle hit his skull with enough force to shatter and leave his muddy blond buzz soaked in whiskey. She backed away wielding the jagged remains like some drunken bar brawler. She knew it would do no good… But if they were going to eat her, she wasn't going to make it easy for them.

The female hissed, not unlike Scarlett, and her teeth gleamed with venom.

"No Charlotte, it's okay." The male gave his pretty companion a name. "I can't watch Jay waste anymore. We'll shove her down his throat, and if he wants to get back on the wagon once he's eaten, we still got the cat." He laughed.

She flinched when Charlotte grabbed her; the steel arms akin to a bear trap…all she had left was waiting for the hunter.

The world seemed to spin when the vampires leapt back to the roofs with her in hand; she began to regret the whiskey.

It was an unusual turn of events. Just another Seattle night getting blotto with the cat and suddenly vampires had kidnapped her. A meal on the go with a tiger-cat chaser.

A part of her, a part she had tried to kill with alcohol and narcotics, wished desperately, that if she had to be dragged back into this world of monsters and nightmares, the good monsters could have dragged her. Monsters like those that had abandoned her long ago and left her to rot alone.

"Stand," Charlotte ordered loudly and rather precisely.

"Not slow," mumbled the woman as she clutched the bundle of terrified alley cat. "Drunk!" She clarified loudly and rather precisely.

The male chuckled.

She observed what she could of the high priced condo. It was sparsely furnished and looked unlived in. It was just like the undead to throw money away on a family-sized condo and use it as a temporary dining plate.

"Wha's your name?" she asked.

He stopped chuckling at once and regarded her cautiously.

"Why?" he asked; he didn't seem belligerent just curious.

"I might like you if you weren't going to eat me."

"Peter. My name's Peter. And I'm not going to eat you… my brother is."

"The family that dines together…" she murmured to the lump in her shirt.

Her skin felt hot and damp where the cat sat… she suspected the poor thing pissed itself.

"And you? We don't surprise you? How does some drunk off the street know a vampire?"

She cackled. "I'm a drunk off the street." Hard as she'd tried to kill her long-term memory, her short-term memory survived just fine. "Nobody will miss her," she quoted.

Then she added, "You're not so different than humans. Nobody knows me to miss me. Notices me to notice me noticing. You'd be surprised what the average bum knows about-"

Her words cut short when Charlotte reappeared, dragging a third blond; one she recognized.

"Hale?" She laughed and hiccuped. "Wanted another go at me did you?"

Hale. The name whispered through her memories like a phantom, a ghost of memories she barely remembered.

He didn't look so good now. He was dressed in a fat-man-sweat-suit even though he hadn't gained a pound… If anything, he looked thinner, like the skin was sticking to him in all the wrong places. His hair looked unclean, the curls had less bounce. His eyes once golden eyes were black and sunken into his face. He hadn't been putting up much of a fight against Charlotte, letting her drag him into the room. When he set his haunted gaze on the human standing before him, his black eyes widened in shock, his jaws clamped tight, and he thrashed in her arms.

"Hale?" Charlotte repeated as she struggled to hold tight.

"You know him?" Peter asked.

"Know…" She repeated the word, rolled it around her tongue. It didn't feel right. "No, but I think I knew him." That was more accurate. The half-starved vampire struggling to escape the room had little resemblance to the man who used to call himself Jasper Hale.

"How?" Charlotte asked.

"He tried to eat me on my birthday."

Everyone froze at that.

"Isabella Swan?" Peter asked.

In a move considered questionable judgment, she turned her back on the crazed vampire who already tried to kill her.

Another cackle escaped. "I guess I am! Although nobody's used my name in forever."

"Bella," hissed Jasper.

Bella turned back to face him.

His eyes were hungry and glazed, but for the moment, he looked half-reasonable.

"What happened to you?" His words reminded her of Scarlett's sounds. They sizzled in the air like a frying pan.

Bella thought hard, tried to remember the pieces she'd tried to destroy…couldn't remember it all. Didn't like what she did remember.

"Peter owes me a whiskey," she said simply.

Bella sat down across from Charlotte, who looked pleased as spiked punch. They'd been sitting in silence for a little over an hour now, Charlotte looking pleased, Bella looking bored, and Scarlett looking invisible.

Jasper hadn't needed any convincing to take a hunt after he saw whom Peter and Charlotte wanted him to eat. Peter followed him to make sure he was eating and not fleeing the scene of the crime.

"Why hasn't he been eating?" Bella asked.

When the buzz began to fade away, her head began to throb from withdrawal and the overwhelming scent of cat urine.

"He's angry…depressed. For months now, he hasn't shown any desire to live."

"He should try alcoholism."

"Right." Charlotte started to laugh but stopped when she realized Bella wasn't joking. "Bella, why are you living on the streets?"

"Why does anyone live on the street?" Bella asked; she remembered vampires being a lot smarter. "I have no friends, no family, no money and no home."

"I think what Charlotte wants to know is how you wound up with no friends, no family, no money and no home," Peter added from the doorway.

Bella blinked and tried to focus on the movement there. She'd succeeded in forgetting how quiet they could be. Jasper didn't look a whole lot better, but his irises were flecked gold so at least he'd eaten something. She thought it was strange how they entered; it didn't escape her notice that he insisted on using Peter like a barrier.

"What happened to you?" Jasper asked quietly; his voice didn't sizzle wished she could remember what his voice had sounded like before the booze and poverty, but he hadn't spoken to her much back then. Alcohol abuse had wiped away the few words he had given her.

"The family I'd wanted to belong to abandoned me." She didn't say the words bitterly; indifferent to the matter now. It was what it was. "The family I did belong to was murdered by a raving psychopath." Those words were full of venom… it was a matter she'd never forget. "My friends ditched me for their own survival." She didn't blame the werewolves for asking her to leave. "The money went for the funerals… and no one was hiring so there was never anymore income. I traveled around looking for a place until the money ran out; then found myself nowhere with no one and nothing." She left out the bad stuff, the brief experimentation with heroin and prostitution, her love affair with alcohol because anyone could have guessed that, and the murder no one would ever know about if she could help it.

One brief image flashed though her mind; the bag on the side of the road with the kittens inside it. Most of them had been crushed by traffic except for one little newborn lying in the carnage, its eyes still glued shut by infancy.

"Then I found Scarlett."

"Who's Scarlett?" Peter asked.

Bella unzipped her sweatshirt to reveal the cat they must have placed somewhere out of mind. Scarlett hissed at being revealed and leapt away, zipping across the room and down a dark hallway.

"I don't think she likes you," Bella said, wishing her cat would come back when her stomach grew cold without the warm feline.

"I'll get over it," Peter answered.

Bella looked at Jasper, not caring for the way he looked at her with so much pity. It made her angry and she felt the irrational desire to even the score.

"Why are you depressed?" Bella asked.

Jasper hesitated before answering, "Alice left me."

Bella was surprised by his answer. Her face didn't show it but he could feel the emotion just the same.

"What'd you do to her?"

At her question, Jasper snarled like some feral beast, but Bella wasn't afraid of him. She watched him rage like a cornered animal until he gained control over himself.

Finally he yelled, "I didn't do anything to her!"

"Okay," Bella answered. "Why'd she leave?"

"She had a vision of her true mate," he sneered.

Bella snorted. "So she never told you that you weren't it?"

"No, she didn't."

"And you loved her like she was."

Jasper didn't answer that one. The answer was quite obvious.

"And you decided to hook up with a couple of human drinkers? Why? To torture yourself more or so you wouldn't have to be alone?"

Charlotte's lip curled with disdain. "Alice called us when she had a vision of him in Northern Canada sulking in a cave. We've known Jasper a lot longer than she has."

"Oh," Bella whispered.

The conversation screeched to a halt.

Charlotte and Peter became still as stones in the awkward atmosphere, while Jasper fidgeted with imitation human posturing. Bella didn't turn to stone, but she didn't fidget either. Mostly she focused on why vampires thought humans were so much more inclined to fidget than vampires…and if humans were more inclined to fidget, at what point in time had she lost that trait?

She didn't blame anyone in this room for their silence. Peter and Charlotte had talked about her as if she were a thing instead of an actual person, and then they'd tried to feed her to a friend as easily as if she were chicken soup. Jasper, who had tried to eat her once before in the past, and hadn't contacted her since the unpleasant event, had equally good reason to be awkward. After all, she hadn't wholly forgotten the fact that she had, at one point, been in love with his adoptive brother. And Bella herself had no desire to share her own past.

"So…" Bella finally broke the silence. "Is someone going to eat me or not?"

"What?" Jasper snapped. "No one is going to eat you."

"So…can I go?"

"No!" Peter, Charlotte, and Jasper all yelled at once.

Bella flinched in surprise, but watched while the three of them exchanged odd looks with one another. The looks were odd because they were all a little different. Peter looked nervous, while Jasper looked suspicious of Peter's nerves. Charlotte looked at them angrily, then glanced at Bella with something that looked close to compassion. They spoke so quickly and so quietly, it sounded to Bella like a white noise machine in the room. Soft humming and hissing became slightly more audible as tempers flared and two of the three forgot Bella had ears.

"…can't send her back out on the streets! She was barely surviving when we found her! How much longer do you think she'll last?" Charlotte insisted.

"This doesn't need to be discussed, because she knows too much to just walk free! You shouldn't have let her alive to begin with!" Peter growled.

"You won't touch her, Peter!" Jasper growl was steadier and slightly more ominous. "I agree she knows more than she should, but unless you're planning on visiting Italy-"

"That's a cop-out! It's not about visiting anywhere; it's about the fact that she's drinking away her brain cells and clearly not the ones that contain info on-"

"Oh, come now Peter! She's held her silence despite her troubles-"

"And there's no guarantee she'll remember to hold her silence-"

"She's staying with us!" Jasper roared over the bickering couple.

They both stopped to watch the fury cross his face; even Bella had to admit it was pretty impressive.

"Charlotte, you do not have to worry because Bella will be staying with us-" he turned his glare on Peter "-AS A HUMAN!"

Bella thought about it. Charlotte was worried she would die on the streets while Peter was more concerned with bean-spilling. Jasper wasn't too concerned with giving anyone a choice on the matter and although they outnumbered him, they weren't contesting the issue.

"Do I have a choice?" Bella asked, feeling a little hurt although she couldn't quite pinpoint why.

"No!" Peter and Charlotte spoke together.

"Yes." Turning to her, Jasper asked, "What do you want, Bella?"

They glared at him with their mouths opening and closing like a couple of red-eyed goldfish.

To Bella, the question seemed significant. She opened her mouth to answer and then stopped herself, suddenly unsure. She knew she didn't want to be dead…her life wasn't great but she wasn't ready for it to be over. She knew she didn't want to be undead anymore than she wanted to be dead. She flexed her fingers and reached for her bottle; shoving her hands awkwardly in her pockets before she realized she'd cracked her last drink over Peter's head. She flexed her fingers in her pockets because she realized that for the first time in a long time, they were warm enough that they could be flexed.

"It's warm here," she said aloud. She didn't really want to get into bed with vampires again. The last time she had it destroyed her life. But she'd love the opportunity to sleep in a bed again…she tapped a toe on the floor while she thought about it. In retrospect, she really had nothing left to lose.

"Okay."

"Okay what?" Jasper asked.

"I'll stay with you…human." Bella wanted that clear. She wanted her humanity. She wasn't done with it yet. "Scarlett will need a litter box."

Jasper listened to Bella splashing around in the bathtub while he spoke with Peter and Charlotte. He couldn't believe the young girl that he'd left behind in Forks grew up into the woman now bathing in his Seattle condo. The Bella he remembered had had a bright future ahead of her; she had been intelligent and brave and, if he remembered correctly, sober.

"How long has it been?" Charlotte asked.

"Eleven years… She's just had her twenty-ninth birthday," he answered.

"Tell me again, where did you find her?"

"Drinking in an alley in the bad part of town…look, Jay, I know you like the girl, but eleven years is a long time in the lifespan of a human. Whoever she was then, she's had time to turn into someone else." Peter tried to make Jasper see reason.

Jasper had to understand that a knowledgeable human had the potential to be dangerous, especially one who wasn't all there anymore.

"I think it's a miracle we found her and an even bigger miracle that she's already accomplished so much. Whoever she is now, Bella will be a blessing to this family."

Peter growled.

"How do you figure?" Jasper asked.

"Look what she's already done…you've gone three months without feeding. An impressive, but highly dangerous feat for a vampire. Not to mention the sheer idiocy. One second in the room with her, not only are you feeding but you're feeding from animals."

"I didn't want-"

"To hurt her," Charlotte finished his sentence and shrugged. "The reason doesn't matter, Jasper. The fact is, this is the most you've spoken since Alice left. This is the most you've moved since Alice left. I worried you were going to petrify yourself."

Jasper didn't answer because petrifying himself had been his intention even if he hadn't announced it. He didn't answer because he felt very unstable at the mention of his ex-wife's name; he wanted to take a punch at Charlotte for daring to say the treacherous syllables…he didn't think Peter would tolerate such a transgression, though.

"Everything changed the moment she walked into this apartment."

Peter didn't disagree. His wife made an excellent point, although he didn't understand it. What was so special about Bella Swan that vampires willingly broke laws of government and nature, just to keep her safe?

"Where'd they go?" Bella asked, sitting down on the couch dressed in Charlotte's clothes.

The drink had worn off; the dirt and stench had been washed away in an enormous king-sized tub. She was still too thin and Charlotte's clothes hung off her frame like a flag on a windless day. But for the first time in a long time, she felt human.

The feeling made her nervous.

"Grocery shopping." Jasper wished they hadn't left him alone with her. He had fed, but his thirst hadn't been completely sated. Now that Bella was clean, she smelled a lot more appealing. "You need food…and if your cat ever comes out of my closet, she'll need that litter box you requested."

"Will you sit? You're making me nervous," Bella asked, although she wondered if it were the environment making her nervous, as opposed to the people in it.

Jasper sat down on the floor where he stood.

"Always so careful," Bella muttered.

"Always so reckless," Jasper countered.

"So what happened to your family?" Bella asked.

Jasper flinched, then fired back, "What happened to yours?"

She flinched in response.

He shook his head in frustration. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, having Bella live with them. But now he saw the complication he'd overlooked. At some point, they'd have to communicate with each other and the topic of what had gone down after that fateful day in Forks would have to come up.

"We should do this sooner rather than later," Jasper thought out loud.

"Agreed," Bella answered, wishing harder than anything that she had something to drink. "Who goes first?"

"I will," he answered.

Bella couldn't hide her relief, even if she'd wanted to.

"After the disaster on your birthday, Edward told us we were leaving. Alice was crushed, but Edward pointed out the obvious; that if she really loved you, she'd want you safe. Being a human surrounded by vampires wasn't safe. Nobody really disagreed. After that, the dynamic shifted." He hesitated, trying to put in words what he had felt when they moved away. "Remember what I told you, in Arizona? About how you changed Edward?"

"No, not really," Bella answered and that was the truth.

He sighed in frustration while he tried to put the rift into words she could understand.

"Think of the Cullen family like…like a piece of architecture. The craftsmanship was shoddy, but of course buildings don't know that the foundation on which they stand is failing. They stand until the day they don't. Get it?"

"Okay…" Bella tried to follow his train of thought. "Edward didn't know he was missing something until he found what he was missing. The family didn't know it was missing something until it found what it was missing. If our family was a building, you would have been the cornerstone to hold us upright."

"I don't understand."

"You gave us all something, Bella. You changed us all, not just Edward. The change was so minute, that most of us didn't recognize it until you were gone from our lives. We called ourselves family, but we lacked the humanity to be one until you came along. When we left you, we left a vital piece of our structure behind…and we crumbled."

"How could I have an affect like that?" Bella asked.

"I don't know…" he answered honestly. He had no clue how this human had become so vital to the survival of immortals. "But, for a short while, you gave Edward love, unconditional and honest, something he'd never experienced before. You tamed Alice; because you were human she needed to learn to have fun in moderation. Emmett learned to be gentle, Esme learned to cook; Rosalie learned to protect someone other than herself. Carlisle learned what it was like to love a human rather than just healing one. I learned that humans were more than just talking cattle. They seemed insignificant things at the time we learned them, so we didn't stop to take stock until after we lost you…you'd restored our humanity. Vampires don't change often and when they do, the change is permanent. We learned to love humanity in a way we hadn't considered before…then you were just gone. What we'd learned and who we'd become suddenly had no place in our family.'

"Edward left first. He maintained contact for a few years, but eventually he stopped calling and not long after his number became disconnected. The last news we had of him, he was in Brazil. Alice and I took off to Denali… Emmett was missing you and Carlisle and Esme were fighting…the emotion was too much for me. Rosalie and Emmett went to France for fashion week and never returned. Carlisle and Esme went to work at a hospital in Moscow. They were doing a lot better with each other…last time we spoke.'

"Then Alice had her vision. She saw her mate." Jasper clenched his teeth in anger, then breathed deeply. "She said her visions of me didn't show us falling in love. They only ever showed me as someone who needed her help to find a new lifestyle, and she needed my help to find the Cullens. The love thing took her by surprise and she never questioned it. I never questioned it. After living through so much hate and terror, I didn't question her love or mine. I suppose I should have." He shook his head in despair now. Why had he trusted so blindly that they were meant to be?

"I wanted to hit her, hug her, and lock her away all at once. I let her go; of course, I wanted what was best for her…and then I ran north to Baffin Island, dug a hole in a glacier, and stayed there for a few years. If something wandered by I fed. If something didn't wander by I didn't feed. Then Charlotte and Peter dragged me back to civilization and I just built another cave…"

Bella listened to the story politely and tried not to let the ghosts haunting her past get a strong foothold in her memory. But all hope of keeping the pain out disappeared with each name he mentioned. The memories may have been diluted by alcohol, but they hadn't disappeared entirely; they'd just been waiting for the right moment to resurface.

"You thought humans were cows that talked?" she asked, trying to put off the moment when she would have to share.

"Sorry," he said.

He did look sorry, but Bella wondered if that was because he'd been so callous toward humans or because he could feel how much she didn't want to talk about her problems. He was going to make her do it anyway.

"I drank too much," she whispered, "and suppressed as much as I could. My memories are missing some detail, but maybe that's better…"

Jasper remained quiet. He could feel the fear, anger, and loss growing inside her while she thought about her own life. He gave her the time she needed to think her words through.

"After you left me, I didn't handle it well. It's like you said, I built a cave and hid and waited. For a long time I waited for someone, anyone, to come back and tell me it was all a mistake and that I really belonged… and when no one ever did I got angry. But while I waited, I was losing more. My friends stopped coming around… I lost my job, started failing school… Charlie tried to send me away and that's when I snapped out of it.'

"Instead of wasting away, I became self-destructive. I started doing dangerous things simply because they were dangerous. I tried to pick a bar fight with a guy I thought was a rapist, rebuilt motorcycles with the one friend who didn't notice me spiraling out of control… riding the motorcycles was only fun when I was bad at it. I cliff dived, I'd go hiking in the woods when there were bear sightings, and I went to a frat-party and got shitfaced… I woke up in someone else's bed..." Bella shook her head at her own idiocy. She'd been so willing to throw everything away. Now she'd do anything to have a fraction of her old life back.

"Anyways, that friend of mine who helped me rebuild the bikes? Turns out, he's a werewolf."

Jasper had kept his face straight for most of Bella's retelling, but he couldn't hide his shock at the word werewolf.

"Turns out, La Push is loaded with werewolves! When they came clean and told me, they took care to mention that being loaded with werewolves was an odd thing. Normally they never had more werewolves than they needed, and with your family gone they weren't needed… They said there'd been strange sightings in the woods of vampires with red eyes who weren't hunting but appeared to be searching. They asked me if I knew anything. I didn't.'

"Then one day I'm out walking in the woods and Laurent finds me. You remember Laurent?"

"I remember," Jasper whispered, half horrified, but mostly regretful that he hadn't killed the bastard when he had the chance.

"Laurent said Victoria was building an army of newborns. She was going to use it to kill me and the Cullen coven. I asked, what was taking her so long? He said the Cullens weren't here… in order for the plan to work, they needed to be here. They were trying to see how many limits they'd be allowed to push before Edward rode in on his white horse. I told him that it was a waste of time; Edward was never coming back.'

"Laurent was disposed of by the wolves and Victoria struck; first she took a couple kids out smoking pot on the rez… then a tribal Elder… Harry Clearwater. He left behind two kids and a widow. When attacking your allies didn't bring you in, she killed my parents."

Bella paused there. She remembered coming home from school and finding the cruiser parked in the driveway. It was crushed beyond recognition, a pool of blood forming under what remained of the car. She hadn't believed her eyes when she found the pile of meat in the front seat that must have been what remained of her father.

She called the cops in hysterics, knowing they needed to be notified right away of Chief Swan's death, even if they couldn't do anything about it. They couldn't point the finger at her; school provided an airtight alibi. They called her mother and Phil; the couple never made it home from the airport. They were both declared missing persons, but Bella knew the truth when a photo arrived in the mail. There'd been no return address on the envelope, but inside was a picture of Victoria standing over a couple of headless corpses.

"The wolves designed a plan. I'd run. Victoria couldn't travel with that volatile army, she'd have to stop me before I got too far or she'd be forced to start over. I ran and the wolves intervened. A lot of lives were lost on both sides and when the wolves were left standing, they requested politely that I keep on running. I did."

"Victoria?" Jasper asked.

"She ran off…I assume she's still looking but her luck hasn't been great. Finding one destitute soul on the street seems to be like finding a needle in a haystack. I had no idea how many people were homeless until I joined them."

Jasper shook his head and tried to separate himself from the guilt. It wasn't his fault; he'd wanted to go after the remainder of James's coven. Carlisle had insisted on letting it go. And it had been Edward's idea to leave Bella alone and unprotected with no way to defend herself in an emergency. They'd dragged this poor girl into a world she didn't belong in, against his advice, and she'd paid an enormous price for it. So why did he feel guilty if they made the decisions?

Was it because he was the one with the experience in the darker side of vampire life? He knew how nothing could fuel a vampire's darkest instincts like a blood feud. They never should have let Victoria and Laurent survive. If Carlisle and Edward didn't have the balls to do what needed to be done, he should have done it for them. He felt guilty because a danger magnet seeking out danger was more likely to find it than most. Maybe he could understand leaving her behind, maybe he could justify keeping her human, but it was cruel to impart so much knowledge to someone who could do nothing with it except find more trouble. They should have known better and they should have been there.

"Bella, I am so sorry." Jasper's voice held an unspoken plea for forgiveness.

Bella's glare was sharp and unforgiving.

"You aren't the one who needs to apologize…the fact is Edward was always the one looking for an escape. I may have forgotten things, but I haven't forgotten that. I haven't forgotten the way he cringed when I said I loved him, or the way he offered to leave me for my own good whenever the opportunity presented itself. If it wasn't you on my birthday, it would have been someone else at another time. Sometimes I wondered if he feared me more than he loved me."

Bella didn't really want apologies from Edward, either, because she'd realized the truth a long time ago. She and Edward were both lonely people who loved the idea of love and found puzzling mysteries in each other. They loved each other, but mostly they loved figuring each other out.

Before Jasper could formulate a response, he heard Charlotte's laughter. His head swiveled toward the door and watched it swing open.

"God damn it!" Peter roared dramatically, holding open the door for Charlotte then slamming it after she'd entered. "Do you have any idea how many different brands of cat foods and kitty litters there are? And don't get me started on feminine products! How much care do two pussies really need?"

"Peter!" Charlotte shouted.

Bella was beginning to feel like a leech. At least when you were homeless, being a useless member of society was expected. When you were clean, clothed, and fed, people expected you to contribute. However, nobody expected anything from Bella except for the pleasure of her company.

Despite Peter's complaints that first night, he really had enjoyed his excursion to the grocery store. It had been a long time since he'd had to worry about human needs and each moment in the grocery store was another adventure. He especially loved learning to use modern kitchen appliances. The first time Bella had asked him to preheat the oven, she'd stopped him from throwing a lit match inside; he then admitted the last time he'd cooked it was over an open fire and he'd given himself food poisoning.

Charlotte was excited at the prospects of having a girlfriend. Nomadic vampires didn't have the chance to make relationships, and those relationships that were forged were often the long distance variety. Bella didn't feel awkward anymore when it came to buying clothes with other people's money - after having no clothes and no money with which to buy them - but she was relieved to see that Charlotte's shopping habits were not as extreme as Alice's habits. For Charlotte, shopping seemed to be a novelty idea. It was a way to interact with humans when she wasn't killing them.

Jasper also desired Bella's company although they didn't speak often during those times. Jasper still hurt over his loss, something Bella understood. She knew what it felt like to be the one left behind. Being alone was easier than talking about it, even if being alone was unhealthy. He needed someone to keep him company without forcing him to deal with the problem and that was just fine for Bella. He'd deal with it when he was ready and no sooner.

They kept it simple. They went to the library on mornings and picked out books. If it wasn't raining, they'd walk for a while. If the weather was poor they'd sit and read. They each read their own books; different characters and plots divided them while the place and time bound them. They went to the art museum once, but Bella had a feeling that she'd gotten more out of the experience than he did.

It was wonderful to have a warm home and friends who cared, but Bella really began to hate being cared for like a pet. Unlike Scarlett, who eventually came out of the closet and found contentment in being a house cat, Bella felt restless and irritated.

Peter and Charlotte weren't helping matters. They, too, were becoming restless, simply because they'd never stuck around in one place for so long. It wasn't natural for them.

"Jasper?" Bella spoke his name cautiously; afraid he'd over-react to what she planned to tell him.

His eyes met hers and she knew she had his attention.

"I filled out an application."

"What kind of application?"

"A job application."

If he was surprised, he didn't show it.

"Where?"

"That little diner on the corner. They're looking for help and-"

"You didn't have to."

"I know."

Jasper didn't argue, but he didn't look pleased.

Bella quickly earned a promotion from bus-girl to waitress. The promotion looked pretty on a paycheck but in reality, she hated it. She could smile, take orders, and endure eye rolls when she interrupted their meals to ask how the food had cooked. She could spot empty glasses and offer refills…but it felt fake.

She'd undergone a transformation over the years; it was different from what she'd wanted, but the result was the same. She could smile and say all the right things but what came out of her mouth never matched what was really in her mind. She hated how people looked at her as if she was less for taking orders. She hated how she looked at them as if they were less for placing orders. Their words to each other were shallow. Their jokes were stupid. The punch lines fell short of the laughter that followed them.

"Can I start you with-" Bella was going to start with offering beverages, but stopped when she saw Jasper sitting in the booth.

"You're unhappy," he stated.

"I have to work," she replied.

"No you don't," he countered.

She did.

Bella knew Jasper was well off enough that he could cater to her needs for the rest of her life. It wasn't about that. It was about how she viewed herself. How did you tell a vampire what it meant to be self sufficient, when taking what you wanted wasn't an option? Or how it hurt to be so desperate, you'd grovel on your knees and go so far as to pleasure a stranger just so you might survive another day? There was no pride in being dependant on the good will of others and even less pride in being dependant on the bad-will of others.

"I'm lonely," he admitted.

Bella sighed and slid into the seat across from him.

"I know," she whispered and reached over to take his hand. "It never really goes away."

"But it does," he argued. "It goes away when you're with me."

"Jasper…," Bella pleaded.

"Bella, I don't want to be alone. It's a shit way to spend forever."

"You're not alone," she whispered. "Peter, Charlotte…"

"That's not what I mean…besides, Peter and Charlotte want to move on from this place."

Bella opened her mouth to disagree, but didn't have it in her. It was the truth. Although both Peter and Charlotte had grown closer to Bella, neither one were perfectly content with playing house. Nor did they fully approve that Jasper was giving Bella the choice to stay human.

"What do you want, Jasper?"

"I would think it's quite obvious what I want, Bella." As he searched her face, he realized that it wasn't obvious. He felt himself start to panic. Had it all been entirely one-sided? Had it all been in his head?

They'd spent hours together. In those hours, they'd have moments upon moments of silence. Moreover, despite the wordless nature of those moments, they always knew what was going on with the other without words. Bella had a way of knowing when he wanted to speak and she'd put her book down and wait for him to find the words. Jasper had known when she was hungry or restless and would get her refreshments or accompany her on walks. She'd never ask to leave, but he's always known when she'd needed to. His desire to consider her needs and wants before she herself had acknowledged them, surprised him almost as much as how quickly he'd forgotten his life with Alice. Bella always knew when his hand had wanted the warmth of hers, which is why it had hurt so much when she had gotten a job.

If Bella felt like a house bound cat, Jasper felt like a dog. He was alone in the apartment with no one love, waiting for his master to come home from work. He'd watch her walk out the door and wait faithfully for it to reopen. And Bella was undeniably his master, because he'd never tell her no. He'd never criticize her choices, even if they hurt him, because she should have the right to choose. Always.

"Jasper?"

"I want you." Bella blinked in shock.

"I know I'm no Edward," Jasper explained looking at the placemat, "I've done shameful things and I can never make it right. But when I'm with you, I feel anything is possible. I know why you think you need work Bella. You're afraid we'll leave you or that we'll try to force you into something and you'll need to run…I can't speak for Peter and Charlotte, but I'm not strong enough to leave you. I'll never deny you your decisions…I'll only ever support you. Please come home."

Bella stared at the man before her in awe of the emotion on his face.

"I think that you're being no Edward, is one of your most admirable qualities," she told him. "Edward rode a high horse and put me on an even higher pedestal. We both fell. I don't need a hero. I don't need a pedestal. And if I remember, he spent a lot of time making choices for me…and for all his demands that I tell him what's on my mind, he'd never shared half of what was on his. If you ever become Edward, kill yourself."

Jasper looked at Bella and saw anger there, but he felt more confusion than anything else.

"Bella?"

But Bella was thinking hard. When had Edward ever let her chose her own way? The prick had wanted a hand in everything, from her friends to her after school job to who received her heart. He'd insulted her truck, her love, and her dignity.

Jasper had never tried to control her. The first question he'd asked her was, "What do you want, Bella?" When she answered him, she felt that if she told him she was happy being a drunk on the street, he'd have set her right back down in the gutter where they'd found her. Her choice mattered to him. Why did it matter?

She tried to think about it in different context. Had she been keeping him company or had he been keeping her company? And if it was the latter, why had she enjoyed it so much?

"I want…you," she tried the words on for size and they felt right.

"Too," she added.

Jasper's face brightened considerably.

A tapping sound pulled their attention away from the conversation at hand. Peter and Charlotte were standing outside the restaurant; Peter giving Jasper two thumbs up. Bella looked down, feeling her cheeks tingle with the long lost warmth of a blush. She heard them enter and looked back up when they approached the booth.

"About time you two figured it out," Peter exclaimed. "I was beginning to think Charlotte and I were gonna be trapped in this rainy city forever."

"Peter," Charlotte admonished and then added, "Jasper? I think you're going to be okay now?"

Jasper blinked in shock now. "You're leaving?"

"The two of you can come?" Charlotte offered.

But Bella didn't want to explore her new revelation with Peter and Charlotte nearby. She wanted to get to know Jasper, without any added commentary.

Jasper thought about the choice Charlotte offered them, too. His face soured when he considered the things he wanted to say to Bella, not to mention the things he want to do with Bella, and imagined his brother and sister being privy to everything.

"That's what I thought," Peter laughed. "Good luck, kids."

Charlotte bent down and touched her lips to Bella's cheek. "Take care of him, Bella." She straightened up and said to Jasper, "Look us up, once you've changed her. I bet she'll be a masterpiece."

They left the restaurant and didn't look back.

Now Bella was shifting nervously. She'd only just realized that she'd be more than Jasper's friend, and now she had to consider she might be spending forever with him in a very literal sense.

He squeezed her hand.

"You already are a masterpiece," he reassured her.

Her eyes looked into his, searching for answers to an unasked question. "There's no rush. If you want it you want it, if you don't you don't. Your choice."

"I choose to quit this job," Bella said.

Jasper laughed. "I choose to support that."

If anyone noticed Bella and Jasper holding hands, they did not see the scars on his skin or the dirt on hers. They didn't see the alley where she lived or the cave where he hid. They didn't see werewolves, vampires or bottles of cheap whiskey; they didn't see demons although the demons surely existed.

If they noticed anything at all, they noticed a pretty waitress holding the hand of a handsome customer who couldn't keep his eyes away from hers. They saw a young man laughing while a cautious woman found his love agreeable. They saw two people lucky enough to find one another… if they noticed.