A/N: Those of you looking for something fluffy like Jump In or All I've Ever Known can just turn away now. Because we've gone into the Kibbs zone. This is my first Kate/Gibbs fic, and I wrote it awhile ago.

Contains some minor McGee/Abby, Tony/Ziva, and Jimmy/Breena toward the end.

Warning: There is some strong language use. Beware.

Disclaimer: If I owned a show that had 21 million viewers there's absolutely no way I'd be staying up til 2am doing science homework. I'd have people for that.

Edit: I've done some editing to this piece and decided to repost it. I hope you guys enjoy it. I'm sorry for my lack of updates in my other stories, but I've hit a sort of writers block. I'm sure that when my FH tryouts and double sessions end, I'll start posting again. Thanks for sticking with me, guys.

She was supposed to be here tonight to forget, to drink away those thoughts, the ones she shouldn't think. But as it played out, she was running up her tab, ignoring the advances of young men, and even rejecting drinks that were generously bought for her by bodybuilders, lawyers, accountants, and even the occasional cop. Each was just hoping to get lucky, but she wasn't dealing any luck to anyone tonight. No, she was tired of one-nighters and casual flings. She wanted a real relationship with…

No, Caitlin, she reprimanded herself. Don't think about that. It's never going to happen.

She was torn harshly from her half-drunken reverie as a bubbly Abby dropped herself in the booth across from her. The other woman handed her a shot of tequila, taking the other for herself. Kate threw it back gratefully, but sighed inwardly when it did not have its desired effect. She still couldn't get her mind off of it.

Or should she say him…

"Kate? Kate!" Abby exclaimed, attempting to catch her counterpart's attention. The brunette snapped back to reality.

"Sorry, Abbs. I was spacing. What did you say?"

"I said I wanna go get another tat. I've always wanted to get a spider on my—"

"Are you sure?" Kate inquired, not waiting to hear what piece of anatomy her friend was about to name.

"Of course! Do you want to come? I can have Blake drop you off first—"

"No, Abby, I'll come," she agreed, glad that Abby had a friend willing to act as the designated driver. At the moment, he was eating nachos in the next booth with Abby's other friend, Candace.

Blake, Candace, Abby, and Kate all climbed into Blake's sedan. They dropped Candace at her apartment, then drove to the tattoo parlor. Blake wanted to go into the record shop across the street, so he promised to meet them back there in an hour. Neither of them was drunk, but they weren't taking any chances.

A while later, Abby came out, wincing in a bit of pain, but otherwise smiling. She lifted the hem of her shirt and showed Kate the tat on her hip.

"Wow," Kate said, "that's cool."

"Don't suspect you're inked, are ya?" Abby laughed.

"No, I'm not," she replied. She thought for a moment. She'd never done anything really impulsive in her life. And who liked someone who always tried to be perfect, who played by the rules, who only stepped out of the box of perfection when she shoved a pistol under her pillow as she slept?

Though Gibbs would say—

She reminded herself to shut up once more. She gave it a few minutes thought. Abby seemed to have dated several guys, and she had plenty of tats. Guys liked girls who took risks. She really hadn't had a serious relationship since that lawyer, Noah. Even then, she was fairly sure he wasn't the one. But what she was fairly sure of—

She forced down the temptation to finish that sentence for the umpteenth time that night. What she wanted was something meaningful, symbolic. It'd be permanent; it might as well mean something. She wanted it to represent something serious, such as a committed relationship. She didn't want something comparable to the strings of one-night-stands and ephemeral affairs Tony had a tendency to get involved in.

"Abby," she began, "I want to get a tattoo."

Abby had tried to talk her out of it, but Kate insisted. And she'd begged to know what it was.

"Is it a heart?" Abby asked as they sat in Blake's car. "It's totally a heart!"

"It's not a heart, Abby," Kate laughed.

"Just tell me, Kate!" Abby's exclamation rang out, grabbing her friend's arm. Yeah, Abby definitely had a few too many drinks.

"It's… writing…" she muttered, a part of her hoping she wouldn't hear. No such luck.

"What does it say?"

"Someone's initials."

"Just tell me they're not Tony's."

"They're not Tony's," she chuckled. No, they definitely weren't Tony's initials. Not by a long shot.

They arrived at Kate's apartment building. They'd met there before they left for the bar, so Abby's car was still there. They thanked Blake and got out, heading toward Abby's hearse.

"Whose initials are they, then?" Abby interrogated.

"Someone's!"

"Brother? Sister? Mom? Dad? Love child?"

"No, no, no, no, and definite no."

"Then whose? Do you have some secret true love or something?" the scientist joked, expecting to hear Kate's laugh again. Instead, she sensed her counterpart's hesitation and let out an over-exaggerated gasp.

"You do! What's his name? Have I met him?" Kate's momentary hesitance answered that as well. "I have! Who is it? I promise I won't tell!"

"I'm not saying."

"Twenty questions?"

"No!" There was absolutely no way she was about to give this up to Abby, of all people. She wasn't sure how well she could keep a secret - not that she didn't trust her - and she was far too close to the someone whose initials were now permanently inked into her skin.

"Oh, c'mon, we talk about everything! Just let me guess! "

"Fine," she sighed, finally succumbing to Abby's relentless begging. "Ten questions. Yes or no only."

"Yes!" Kate almost rolled her eyes at the excitement that Abby clearly wasn't trying to contain. "Is he at NCIS?"

"Yes," she admitted.

"Is he… an agent?"

"Yes."

"Is he one of the newbies?"

"Uh… no…" Well, he wasn't. He wasn't by far.

"In a relationship?"

"Maybe…?"

Her mind immediately jumped to that mysterious redheaded woman who picked Gibbs up from time to time. Who was she? And what was this woman's relationship with her Gibbs?

Whoa, her Gibbs? No. Not hers. Never hers.

"Maybe?"

"I'm not sure. And you have five left."

"I thought I had six!"

"'Maybe?' is a question."

"I hate you sometimes," Abby grumbled. "Is he younger than you?"

"No." Nope. Not even close...

"He have dark hair?"

"Nope." And that was one of the things she liked about him... the silver hair...

"Do you see him often?"

"Yes." Not enough.

"Do we work cases with him much?"

Kate paused but answered,

"Yep." Great giveaway, Kate. Great job.

"So we have a light-haired long-time NCIS agent who is older than you who you work cases with regularly. I don't even need that last question. There's only one agent I can think of who fits that description."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you have LJG inked on your ass, Kate!"

"What? Gibbs? No. No!" And suddenly her guard was up. It shouldn't be like this with her best friend, of all people. She should be able to tell her anything.

"Then who?" Kate didn't respond and Abby smirked. "You love the boss man!"

"Don't tell him. Or Tony." Her voice was pleading and desperate, and Abby picked up on it, even while sufficiently buzzed.

"I won't. So… you gonna make a move?"

"And if he has a girlfriend?"

"But Gibbs and you have a connection!" the goth insisted. "You're perfect for each other!"

"It's not gonna happen, Abby. I gotta go. I'll see you at work Monday."

Abby allowed herself a melodramatic sigh before letting her go, waving her farewell.

They'd been working in the gym for a while that Tuesday. Kate was in the boxing ring with Gibbs. She'd immediately knocked him down and pinned him to the ground.

"Used to be my job," she said with a grin.

"Your job was to lie on top of guys?" Gibbs asked, smirking. Kate smiled mysteriously and jumped off of him.

The women's showers were out of order, so, since their team was the only one using the gym, she took one in the guy's locker rooms. DiNozzo showered quickly and took off. Kate was just finishing when she realized that her towel was across the room. Under the curtain she could see Gibbs's feet. She swore quietly, leaning back against the stall wall. This could not be happening. She was a good person, right? Why did stuff like this happen to her?

"Gibbs? Can you grab me my towel?" she asked, loud enough for him to hear her over the sound of the shower.

"Nope."

Her mouth fell open.

"Gibbs!"

"I'm not done yet! You can get it yourself; I won't look."

Kate sighed, and quickly ran across the room, wrapping herself in her towel.

"Some gentleman you are! I ought to come in there and slap you."

"Feel free."

She rolled her eyes. Trust Gibbs to be the most suggestive person in a situation like this.

"God, you're worse than Tony."

"How so?"

"For someone so old, I'd think you'd be a bit more mature."

Gibbs poked his head out the side of the shower curtain. His mouth dropped in mock indignation. She knew him well enough to know he was joking.

"How old do you think I am?"

"Old enough, Gibbs, old enough."

He rolled his eyes.

"Grab me my towel, will ya?"

Her eyebrows shot up.

"Why should I?"

"Do you want me to go get it?"

Well, yes.

"Maybe I do."

He raised his eyebrows and smirked.

"Just hand me the towel."

She handed it to him, and he wrapped it tightly around his waist. He pulled back the curtain and leaned against the door frame of the stall. Kate leaned her back on the other side. She gave him the up-down. His abs and pecs were chiseled, and his hair was wet and crazy. He was smiling at her.

"What?" he asked at her evaluating expression. Kate couldn't help it. She stood to her full height and got up in his space.

"Who's the redhead who picks you up from time to time?"

Gibbs laughed.

"She's just a friend, Kate."

Kate nodded, taking another half-step closer. She looked up at him, and him down at her. Some part of her brain—some miniscule part that she'd long tried to ignore—made her lean forward, hesitating a millisecond before pressing her lips to his. And she could swear he kissed back.

He pulled away first.

"We shouldn't do this," he whispered. She could hear the regret in his voice as he said it.

"Too damn bad," she replied. He smiled and she gave one in return. Then she leaned in again, pulling him into a more passionate kiss.

It was late and they'd just wrapped up a case. Gibbs was walking to the squadroom, and all she could focus on was his beautiful eyes, reflecting in the dim lights.

"Any more tattoos?" Gibbs asked.

"Just the rose on Kate's butt," Tony replied. Kate rolled her eyes. He'd been bugging her all day since she'd told him that she'd gotten a tat.

"It's not a rose," Gibbs replied.

Abby was grinning behind Tony. Tony just looked shocked and… kind of impressed.

"He doesn't know!" Kate insisted, as the others grinned more. "He's lying, just like he did about the digitalis!" At their disbelieving smiles, she turned to Gibbs. "Tell them. Gibbs!"

Gibbs just smirked.

"Spill!" Abby demanded the moment she and Kate were alone.

"What?" Kate asked.

"How does Gibbs know about your tat?"

"He saw it…" she confessed.

"Oh my God! Details, now!"

The forensic specialist was practically jumping up and down.

"You sound like Tony." Why was everyone acting like Tony all of a sudden?

"C'mon, Kate! We're both adults. Now tell!"

Kate explained everything that had happened that day at the gym.

"Are you two a couple now?"

"Well… not publicly…"

"What do you mean?"

"You're the only one I've told and we don't really want to advertise this. A relationship between agents is usually frowned upon, and honestly, there's a significant age gap. I think that if people knew… they wouldn't get it."

And there was her biggest fear. The age gap. It shouldn't be that weird. She had an aunt who married a man thirty years her senior. And sure, maybe that was a big much, but she cared about him. Why couldn't people be happy for them, despite their distance in age? Love is love, right?

She sat up and stretched, looking around the squadroom. Tony and McGee were asleep at their desks. Then she looked at Gibbs.

He was covered in blood.

She panicked. This couldn't happen. No, not like this. Not to him.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and whirled around to face the intruder.

Ari…

"Gibbs!" she gasped, waking with a start.

"You dream about Gibbs?" Tony asked. Kate looked about her and found Gibbs's desk empty.

"What? No! God, no!" she defended herself.

"You just said his name." Tony's eyes were sparkling with mischief.

"What? No I didn't."

"You did."

Tony had to make this sexual, didn't he?

McGee walked toward them.

"What's going on?" he inquired, coming to a stop in front of his partners.

"Kate dreams about Gibbs." Tony's suggestive smirk implied far too much for her liking.

"Really?" McGee was smiling now, and she didn't like this.

"She screamed his name."

"Really?"

Kate rolled her eyes. Guys could be so juvenile. Gibbs walked in, and she thanked the God she hadn't spoken with in a while that he was okay. But she couldn't help but feel like something was off.

They'd finally gotten a moment alone together, in the elevator heading to Abby's lab. She flipped the stall switch on the panel.

"I'm worried," she confessed. "I have this bad feeling in my gut, like I can just tell something's going to go wrong. First Tony has plague, I dream about you dying, Abby had the same dream about Tony dying. But Haswari was in my dream, Gibbs. Ari's haunting me and it scares the living hell out of me."

He took her hand.

"Katie," he whispered, "I wish I could tell you that everything will be okay, but I can't. I have a bad feeling, too. So let's all make the best of whatever time we have left. Ari's a bastard with some infatuation with you. But remember: I love you. I love you more than Ari or anyone else does. You understand?"

Her breath hitched. She knew how difficult it must be for him to say those words. After having lost his first wife - something he'd just recently admitted to her - and never having luck with the other women he'd offered himself up to completely, it was shocking for her that he plucked up the courage to say it.

"Yeah. I love you, too Gibbs."

"Good." He placed a hand on the side of her face and kissed her softly.

"There's no use hiding it around Abby," Kate said as the elevator clinked to life. "She already knows."

He nodded and took her hand in his. She ran her thumb across his palm. Kate smiled as they walked into Abby's lab.

Abby looked up. Kate was holding Gibbs's hand, and they both looked happy. Well, despite circumstances.

"You two are so adorable," she squealed. "Have you told everyone yet?"

"No," Kate replied. "We'll have to see how things turn out with Haswari."

Abby nodded.

"So, what did you guys need?"

"Shooter!" came a yell from somewhere to his right. He tried to look where she'd seen him, but Kate was faster. She jumped in front of him, shielding him with herself. He and Tony located the shooter and took him out. It almost killed him to not check on her right away. But he had to protect Tony as well.

He rushed back to Kate and checked where the bullet had hit her. Thank God it had only lodged in her vest.

He and Tony helped her up carefully.

"Protection detail's over," he said.

"You did good," Tony added.

"I thought I'd die before I ever heard—" Kate started, but she never finished. It happened as if in slow motion. Her forehead burst open with a spray of red. Her blood splattered on Tony, and she crumpled, falling backwards to the rooftop. He and Tony looked around desperately, trying to locate Kate's murderer.

"Ari…"

Tony looked at Gibbs, whose heart was breaking in half. He felt as though he'd lost Shannon for the second time.

And Tony saw a tear fall from his boss's eye.

He sat outside Autopsy doors, up against the wall. He watched as Ducky put Kate to bed, and went to change out of his hospital garb. And then he walked out of the room to find Gibbs sitting there on the floor. He was holding Kate's badge in his hand, running his thumb over it. God, he missed her.

"Jethro," Ducky began, "what are you doing here?"

"Not much." His voice was low, as he tried to keep it from breaking.

"Would you like to know something I found in the autopsy?"

"Why not?" It's not like he didn't know every inch of Kate's body. Ducky couldn't tell him anything new, could he?

"I found a tattoo."

"She told me about that."

"Of your initials."

"I know," he murmured, pulling the badge closer to him, closer to his heart.

"You know?"

"I saw it, Duck. Kate and I… we were together. I'd just… I'd just told her I loved her."

"I am so sorry, Jethro." The amount of remorse in his voice was overwhelming, and Gibbs almost let a tear slip. But no, he had a terrorist to find. There'd be time for tears and alcohol and depression later.

"Me too, Duck. Me too." And on the last word, his voice cracked with the pain of losing her.

He knew why Ari shot her. He was jealous. Ari was jealous of him and Kate. Haswari loved her. He'd told him that he had "the misfortune of reminding" him of his father. And since Ari couldn't have Kate, he wasn't going to allow someone that reminded him of the father he despised to have her.

Narcissistic bastard.

"I've killed enough men in my life. It's gonna be just sweet watching you die."

Ari laughed and raised Gibbs's rifle.

"Sorry to spoil your—"

A gunshot sounded in the basement. Haswari crumpled, dropping Gibbs's sniper. Gibbs looked up at the stairs and saw her descending them. She looked as if she were sick, combined with a sadness and remorse beyond measure.

"His father is the director of Mossad?"

"Yes," Ziva choked out.

"Not David?"

"Yes. He is… my half-brother."

Gibbs sighed. As he walked out, he gave her thumb a squeeze. It was a silent thank you, a wordless apology. It was a small gesture, but it meant the world.

They all sat around Gibbs's living room. It had been more than a decade since Kate died. Palmer and Breena sat in one corner, a sleepy blonde toddler by the name of Madelaine Rose sprawled across their laps. In another corner, Abby and McGee sat, cradling an infant, a boy by the name of Anthony Jethro. Nearby, Tony had his arms around Ziva, his hands rested on her swollen stomach. Two days overdue. And beside him sat Ducky.

In his arms lay Abby and Tim's daughter, AJ's twin, his goddaughter.

Caitlin Kelly McGee.

Do you hate it? Favorite line? Anything? Please review! Love you all. -Bridge