AN: Hey! So sorry this took so long to put up but I kinda got distracted by..stuff...Yeah it's a rubbish excuse I know but I really am sorry about the delay. I can promise that the next chapter (I know, I know, I said it would be a three-shot but whatever) will be up in about a week and a half's time.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed and TL wifey1 (I hope you see this, I know it's been a while): Only time will tell...

Disclaimer: Yeah, I wish I owned Harry Potter but I don't. I only own this plot and Rob.

ENJOY!

Lupin shifted uncomfortably in the girls' uniform he had borrowed, borrowed not stolen, from the spares cupboard. It was a size too small and dug into places that he was not used to having anything to dig into, namely his, or rather Lily's, rather pronounced chest and hips.

The fact that he was in someone else's body didn't bother him too much. After all, he spent every full moon in a body that wasn't human and so was pretty used to the whole Hey! This isn't my body thing. True, he couldn't remember anything that happened when he was in it (something he sincerely wished would be the case after this, well, after this ordeal) but it was basically the same thing. The real problem was that he now knew entirely too much about Lily's body and that, because of this, Lupin felt as though he was betraying James and this caused unreasonable guilt to settle itself comfortably in his gut. He had to keep reminding himself that it was James' idea in the first place and that, if his friends now had more knowledge of his own crush's body than he did, it was his own damn fault.

Another thing that really was bothering him was the knickers he was wearing.

He had had to take them from the lost property cupboard, something he had neglected to tell to Sirius, and was trying very hard not to think of how they had got there. He had washed them thoroughly several times but he still wanted out of them as soon as possible and the only way to do that was to find Rob which, unfortunately, was proving difficult.

Lupin had checked the common room first, in the vain hope that Rob would be there and he could get this ludicrous plan over with, but it had been empty and so now he was skulking outside the library, waiting to see if Rob would turn up there. Seeing as Rob was more sports orientated, shall we say, this was highly unlikely but Lupin was trying to avoid everyone but Rob and was holding out hope that he would do something extremely out of character (like decide to find out what a book was).

Just as Lupin was giving up this hope and steeling himself to go out and face the rest of the student body there was a noise behind him. He whipped round only to come face to face with Gerard, a Ravenclaw boy in the same year, and his posse, who were grinning like professor Slughorn when he managed to corner a trembling student with a claim to fame. Lupin's stomach turned to lead and dropped right through the floor to land somewhere in the dungeon (probably next to the stomach of Slughorn's corned student), sweat gathered in the palms of him borrowed hands and he felt the sudden urge to turn and flee, tail tucked between his legs. Normally Gryffindors (Lupin and Lily especially) got on quite well with Ravenclaws, and Gerard had never been anything but nice to the Marauders, but something just seemed off about him, really off, and Lupin had always tried to keep his distance. After all, his instincts were barely ever wrong, the only perk of having a furry little problem really. The only time his instincts were off was with Peter and how he wasn't to be trusted, a notion which was laughable now.

Unfortunately for Lupin, he was about to find out exactly what was off about him. There was a startled squeak as a hand collided with his borrowed behind.

...

Sirius was not pleased.

He would have thought that he would have been ecstatic, being inside the body of a girl and all that, but really, considering the situation, the options were depressingly limited; he couldn't go and stare at the chest that was currently his because it was Lily's and Lily was his friend, whether she wanted to be or not, and Sirius never disrespected his friends. There was also James to consider in this because, no matter how many times he made fun of James for his crush, he could tell that he was well and truly smitten. Sirius was fiercely protective of his mates, he'd already decked several people who had dared to make less than complementary remarks about James and his "Lily Crush", (did people seriously not understand the he was the only one allowed to do that?), and it felt wrong to know Lily's body better, way better, than James did.

The other option, to go around acting strangely and then sit back and watch as Lily faced the consequences, was out of the question because, if Lily ever found out it had been him, he was better off dead. Taking all this into account Sirius was left with only one option which was to do what he was supposed to do: find Rob.

With this firmly lodged in his mind, Sirius wandered around the school, determined to fulfil his mission.

Until he was distracted that is.

Mary Jackson was a Ravenclaw in the year above. She was pretty, well endowed, clever in a sexy way, always up for a little fun and played hard to get, something that had managed to hold Sirius' attention for a lot longer than most of his other flings. It didn't hurt that she was now one of the few girls that didn't hit Sirius as soon as he got near (it wasn't his fault that he wasn't ready for a relationship) or ignore him when he tried to start a conversation (why did the girls he had dated feel the need to warn others about him). Basically she was Sirius' new target.

As soon as he saw her Sirius forgot everything; he forgot that he saw supposed to be looking for someone and, more importantly, he forgot that, for the time being, he was in the body of a girl. He was totally focused on his new mission: flirting with Mary.

"Mary! How are you this fine day?"

The higher pitch of his voice went completely unnoticed by Sirius along with the fact that the arm he slung oh so casualty over Mary's shoulder was smaller than usual, that he was actually shorter than Mary and that Mary and her friends looked startled by his actions. Okay, let's be truthful, he had indeed noticed that they all looked rather surprised but hey! They had a right to be, after all it wasn't everyday that one of the hottest guys in Hogwarts decided to talk to you.

"I'm...I'm fine thanks?"

"Good, good." He smirked at her in that special, often practiced, way that he knew made the girls go crazy. At least it used to. Now the only reactions he seemed to be getting were looks reserved for the clinically insane. Well that's weird he thought. Not usually what happens...damn I should have practiced again last night. I knew I was getting rusty! Sirius had the nagging feeling that he'd forgotten something. Something important.

"Anyway Mary, I gotta go. See you for our date today at the Three Broomsticks!"

With that, he slapped her ass and sauntered away, grinning to himself.

"I wonder why Lily's acting so strangely."

"Must be something to do with James, they're at each other's throats all the time but you can tell they're completely besotted by each other..."

Oops. He thought he'd forgotten something...

...

James lent against the wall trying to look cool, not that that took any effort mind you, while he waited impatiently for his friends to show up. Ugh! What was taking them so long? They only had an hour left! He ran his hand, very carefully, though his hair in frustration. This was beginning to get ridiculous; he had been waiting over half an hour and people were starting to give him strange looks. James Potter did not get strange looks.

He was just about give up and go in search of his friends, who unfortunately for them were about to turn back into themselves (while they had turned out to be incompetent James thought that his fellow students seeing Sirius and Lupin in knee-highs and skirts was too cruel a punishment...for his fellow students that was; the two idiots could be found wandering around the halls naked by Minnie for all he cared), when something caught his attention. Rob careening down the corridor like a bewitched bludger. Or a drunk fly. Take your pick.

"James! James! Thank Merlin I found you. I thought I'd missed you!" He was gasping, red-faced and looked as though someone had dragged him through a hedge backwards and then been in a tangle with the Womping-Willow. Not much of a looker now, are you Robbie boy? James' internal Slughorn voice commented snidely. He couldn't help but feel pleased that his rival (no, not rival, Rob had nothing on James. Nothing!) was looking less than attractive just before his date.

James was busy coming up with more cutting, absurdly witty, remarks about Rob's looks and fitness (surely a Quiddich player shouldn't be out of breath after running down one corridor. He had run down one corridor right?) when he realised something: Rob was there, James was there, the cupboard, the rope and the gag were there. Perfect.

"Look James I, uh.. I wanted to ask if you wanted to... To invite you to walk down to Hogsmeade with me." The last bit came out as a rush of near nonsense and James had to put a hold on all other thoughts and emotions to work out what had just been said. When he did he almost punched Rob in the face and through to next week.

How dare Rob boast to James about his date with Lily! How dare he!

All sympathy James had been feeling for him (there had, admittedly, been some; the guy looked awful) disintegrated like one of Peter's cauldrons when he got the potion wrong. Rob was pretty much asking to be knocked out, tied up and locked in a cupboard in a deserted corridor.

James gripped his wand and turned his attention back to Rob, who was still, somehow, prattling on, completely unaware of his stylish haired doom. As James prepared himself to stun Rob out of Merlin's baggy Y-fronts and into next week and the hospital wing several thoughts passed through his head:

Why was he getting closer? Wasn't he slightly further away at the beginning of his speech. Why is touching my arm? Okaaay this is definitely too close, I can see why people don't like it when I pop their private space bubble...

There was a surprised squeal as the spell hit Rob square in the chest.