I'm so sorry! I haven't updated for countless reasons, exams, CPTs, studying, packing for my trip to NYC (so excited) watching the new show True Love (such an amazing show. it's not as cheesy as it sounds. I recommend it to all David Tennant fans!) And also for the past few days I've been sick. (Just my luck I get a bad cold on the first day of vacation) These excuses are just what they are but I feel terrible for not updating. But here's a new chapter! I hope you like it! Please R&R

Tony sighed looking down at the arch reactor in his chest, He knew he could end it right here, right now. The pain, the memories, hell he might even see Pepper if he pulled it out, if there was a god. But something… something strong and unknown stopped him. He hung his head, somewhat ashamed of even thinking about it.

"Trouble sleeping?" Steve asked from behind him. "When don't I?" Tony replied snarkily. "Point taken." Steve chuckled. "Anything on your mind?" he asked cautiously. Tony shrugged "Oh you know, dead girlfriend, and some skinny love." He bit his tongue even though he knew Steve would have no idea what that meant. Steve nodded. "I'm sorry…about her. I wish I could have helped." I would do anything to make you happy again. He thought to himself. He really did have no idea what 'skinny love' meant but he decided just to act like he did. And he secretly wished it was about him. Tony patted Steve's shoulder "It's all good Capsicle. It… you… I…we couldn't have saved her." He stuttered.

Steve touched Tony's hand that was resting on his shoulder. "It's just… I know how it feels to lose someone you love." Tony just laughed bitterly. "You get your long lost love back. I can never get Pepper back" he said her name with such sadness, Steve wanted to hold him close like he used to. But he didn't move an inch. "I meant my friend. Bucky. He… fell off a train in the mountains. Seventy years later, I still strongly believe it's my fault and I won't ever forgive myself." Tony looked into Steve's saddened eyes. He felt guilty for commenting. "You're even luckier. You can get drunk and forget it all at least for one night. I can't. I will always remember Bucky, reaching for my hand, the fear in his eyes… his screaming…" his voice trailed off; his throat felt thick and his voice threatened to break. "I'm a soldier. I'm supposed to be strong." He whispered, turning away from Tony, hiding a tear.

Tony touched Steve's chin. "Look at me. You know what? Sometimes, the hero's, the soldiers, need to break, they need to mourn and cry over their lost loved ones." Tony felt on the verge of tears himself. Steve turned to Tony. "Do you believe that?" he whispered. Tony squeezed his shoulder gently. "Steve, you can cry. It doesn't make you less of a man or weak. Soldiers can cry. And I promise I won't tell anyone if you do." Steve smiled and wrapped his arms around Tony. He did cry, but not just over Bucky. He cried because he had no idea if he was going to be able to choose between Peggy and the Man of Iron.

Tony jumped up in success. "Banner!" he hollered down the hall to the kitchen. "Banner!" Bruce appeared in the hallway. "Yelling at me and scaring the crap out of me isn't the smartest thing to do, Stark." Bruce sighed, staying calm as he usually did, but he was obviously pissed. He held half a mug of coffee in his hand, the rest on his white shirt. "Oops. Sorry big guy. But I think I finally figured out what material to use! So I just need you to turn into Godzilla so I can test it." Tony was grinning with excitement. "You know, if I change right now, the other guy just might pulverize you." Tony groaned. "Aw come on. I thought you could control him." Bruce rolled his eyes. "I can, but only to certain extent. And I guarantee the likely hood of the other guy squishing you is so much more before I finish my coffee." Bruce turned and headed back to the kitchen, almost walking in to Steve.

"What's up with him?" he asked. Tony shrugged "I may have caused him to spill half his coffee on himself. Steve sighed "You're terrible. He could have killed one of us." Tony laughed. "Come on Capsicle. Live a little." Steve rolled his eyes and leaned against the door frame. "Not when it involves people almost dying." Tony rolled his eyes.

Steve had the under layer of the uniform on. The thin blue spandex hid nothing and his boots made him oh so innocent. Tony felt red creep up onto his cheeks. "Are you blushing Stark?" Steve asked. Tony turned away "Uh. No. Wha… How about you uh suit up, we could go to the training arena… uh practice a bit." Steve chuckled. "Alright, Mr. Stark. I'll meet you there." He left with a sparkle in his eyes that made Tony melt. Tony shook his head, trying to wipe the thoughts he was having. Steve…in the shower. Jesus that man is the definition of perfection. Tony shook his head. The man was straight and catholic. There was no way he would get in the shower with him. But Tony could dream.

The last part was inspired by when Steve and Tony were in a room talking about Agent Phil Colson (Rest In Peace) and Steve was just wearing the under layer of his suit and his adorable booties. I kind of adore that scene for that reason ;) that sexy star spangled man.
Anyways, thank you so much for reading. I will try to write a new chapter before I go to NYC, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania and Intercourse, Pennsylvania.(it's a real place. I swear, Google it. It's in Amish Country.) But I will write more because I have to spend a total of 24 hours on a train. I won't be able to update for a few weeks though because right when I get back from the states, I have to visit my grandparents for a week and they have dial up internet. -.-
Thank you guys for sticking with me and reading! Happy summer!