a/n: I have never written for this pairing and I have never really written a 'song fic'. This was from a challenge at theRooftop. Lyrics are from Paramore The Only Exception found on the websit (dot) directlyrics (dot) com .
Worth the Risk
When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And cursed at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it
At Stanford, Sam Winchester mostly kept to himself. Years of constant upheaval and always being the new kid taught him to blend with his surroundings. His brother's constant teasing on top of his father's constant judgment taught him to protect his feelings.
According to Sam, the best way to do this was to hide in a book. The library had recently become his second home; the third floor, his favorite study area. It was quiet, few people made the effort to climb the stairs, and Sam could work for hours undisturbed.
And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
"What do you mean it's checked out?" an irritated Jessica demanded from the equally irritated college student behind the library's desk.
"I'll use smaller words. 'We do not have that book.' Do you get me now?"
Jessica huffed. "I meant," she ground out barely able to keep her anger in check, "my professor said the library would have several copies available."
The girl clicked her tongue. "Right, there used to be, but not now."
"Well, what am I supposed to do?"
"Don't care," the girl said as she walked away.
"Just great. That's real helpful," Jessica whined as she stuffed her paper into her backpack. She took a deep breath and thought she would just have to accept the failing grade.
She slung her bag over her shoulder and dragged herself to the library's third floor. She was dragging herself to her usual study table when she saw a copy of the book laying on another table. A quick survey of her surroundings, revealed no one.
Jessica sat down at the table, ignoring the other books piled there, and helped herself to the text. She pulled a notebook and pen from her bag and began to take notes.
#*#*#*#
Chewing on a pencil and turning pages of a book as he walked, Sam Winchester didn't see the girl at his table, reading the textbook he borrowed, until he was nearly on top of her. Instead of taking his seat at the table, he looked around. Did he have the wrong study area? No, third floor, ancient history, this was where he always studied. He looked at the table again. Those were his books and his backpack. But, thatwas not his girl.
Jessica brushed back her hair and chewed her pen as she read.
Oh man, Sam thought. That's the girl from Anthropology, twelfth row, right hand side. What is she doing at my table?Sam couldn't help himself, he stared a moment longer. Maybe he could slide his other books off of the table without her noticing. Of course, then he'd have to find another copy of the professor's book, but how hard could that be?
Finally noticing the huge presence hovering near the table, Jessica looked up to see Sam staring at her. She instantly blushed. Biting her lip, she pushed the text book towards the other side of the table. "Oh, uh, hi," she whispered shyly. "Sorry. I just need that book for my class."
"Anthro 101 with Gibbons," Sam said stiffly.
"Yeah. How'd you know?" she responded with a bright smile before rebuking herself with a shake of her head. "Because you have the book, duh."
Sam was still standing by his chair and staring at her. Cute girl from class, moron, do something. He could practically hear his brother urging him on.
Jessica took his stare to mean she had better be on her way. She gathered her notes and her bag and pushed back from the table before Sam was able to register any of her actions.
"Wait," he finally blurted out. "If you need the book, we can share it."
"Really?"
"Sure," Sam said sounding much more confident than he felt. "I'll work on my English paper while you finish taking notes."
Jessica smiled gratefully at him. "You sure? You wouldn't mind?"
"No. Go ahead," Sam answered, wondering at the same time if he'd ever be as comfortable with girls as his brother was. He sat down and quietly began to copy notes for his paper.
Every few minutes, Jessica would chance a look at him. What a cutie, she thought as she admired the way his hair hung in his eyes as he read, making her want to reach out and brush it back. She had to think of something to get him to talk to her again. "So, when do you have Gibbons?"
Sam looked up from his work. Of course she wouldn't know he was in her class. "Uh, Tuesdays and Thursdays, ten a.m."
Jessica gasped in pleasant surprise. "That's when I have it! I've never seen you there."
Sam looked back at his paper. "I sit in the back."
Jessica felt a bit frustrated when Sam returned to his work instead of continuing their conversation, but she had gotten a good look at his face and decided she wasn't going to give up that easily.
When she was done with her notes, she wrote a small thank you note and tucked it into the book before returning it to Sam. "Thanks a lot. I thought for sure I was going to fail."
"No problem."
"See you in class."
Sam nodded. As she walked away, Sam kicked himself for not being brave enough to even ask for her name.
At the next lecture, Jessica waited until Sam took his seat, then went to sit next to him, with a small 'hello' nod.
Sam was so distracted by Jessica sitting next to him, he hardly took any notes.
This went on for two weeks. For the next four lectures, Jessica would wait for Sam, sit by him, and attempt polite small talk. Sam would smile and nod and leave quickly when class was over. Jessica wondered when he'd get the hint or if she was the one missing the point.
#*#*#*#
It wasn't until the Friday of the third week that Jessica saw him in the library again. She took a deep breath for courage and approached him. "Hi, can I sit here?" she whispered.
Sam gaped at her. "Yeah, sure," he answered though he had no idea why she'd want to. "I don't have the Gibbons book today."
Jessica's brows wrinkled in thought. "Okay. I don't need the book, but thanks for letting me know." She took out her study materials and got to work.
Sam bounced his leg nervously. He could hardly take this girl sitting next to him in class, now she was sitting with him in the library, too. He'd never be able to concentrate.
Jessica worked silently for an hour before quietly gathering her things. When she got up to leave she whispered, "The tri-Sigs are having a party this weekend. Are you going?"
Sam's first response was to stare at her. After a moment, his ability to speak returned and he said, "No. I've got a paper in my lit. class to work on."
Jess tried not to look surprised or disappointed. "Oh, well, have a nice weekend."
Sam watched her walk away and then let his head fall onto the table. I'm such an idiot.
The next week, Sam wasn't surprised that Jess had returned to her seat in the twelfth row. He was, however, disappointed.
In in dorm room, Sam straightened his notes and papers on his desk. The midterms were over, but he still felt the pressure of needing perfect grades. His roommate, Luis, picked up a scrap of paper that had fluttered to the floor. "Who's Jessica?"
Sam looked at him in wide-eyed horror and pretended not to know.
Luis was unconvinced and held up up the paper. "Jessica? She gave you her number."
"Oh, uh, some girl in my Anthro class."
"You gonna call her?" Luis asked as he placed Jessica's number on Sam's desk.
"What? No," Sam said hoping Luis wouldn't notice the blush creeping onto his face.
"Why not? She gave you her number. Is she a dog?"
"No! She's – cute. It's just, she probably only gave me her number for class." Sam went back to his open textbook.
Luis shook his head. Sam was a nice guy, but the dude needed help.
On Monday afternoon, Luis and Sam were relaxing in the quad before Luis went to work and Sam went to his late lab. "Are you coming in to catch the game, tonight?" Luis asked, but Sam didn't answer.
When Luis turned to see why Sam ignored his question, he found Sam staring at a girl with blond hair. Luis slapped Sam on the thigh and stood up with a sly grin. "I'll be right back."
Luis was a few feet behind the blond when he called out, "Jessica?"
The girl turned with a smile but it faded a bit with confusion. "Yeah?"
"Oh, good, it is you. My name is Luis, and you don't know me, but you will save my life if you agree to go out with my roommate."
Jessica raised a suspicious brow. "Oh, really? Why is your roommate putting your life in danger over a date with me?"
Luis sighed with dramatic relief. "Just say 'yes', please. See, you gave my roommate, Sam, your number, and I spilled coffee on it, totally destroying the whole thing. I thought he was going to kill me."
"Sam?" Jessica asked, clearly doubting the story she was hearing.
"Yeah, you two have Anthropology together. He was super angry with me 'cause he wanted to call you. Well, you know how shy he is, he figured talking to you on the phone would be easier than asking you in person. But then I go and ruin your number."
Jessica felt a small smile form. Yeah, she told herself, Sam was definitely shy. She looked behind Luis and saw Sam, sitting on the low retaining wall, staring daggers at Luis. When he saw her looking over, Sam made a lame attempt at trying to look like he hadn't been staring at them.
"Okay," she said finally. "I have class until seven. Tell Sam to meet me here."
Luis wanted to hug the girl, but he worried he'd scare her off, so he settled with holding her hand. "Thank you! You saved my life. Sam will be here, I promise."
#*#*#*#
"What did you say to her?" Sam hissed when Luis returned to him.
"To who?"
Sam glared. "You know who. Jessica."
"Oh her? She's cute, right? I asked her out, man. She's going to meet me here tonight at seven. I told her I'd take her out for dinner." Luis had to bite his cheek to keep himself from laughing at Sam's doleful expression.
"Oh, that's - good for you, Luis. She seems like a nice girl," Sam hoped his friend couldn't see how jealous and depressed he was. "Wait, Luis, don't you work tonight?"
"Oh, crap, that's right. Dang, I don't want her to think I'm standing her up. Do you think you could meet her instead and tell her I had to work. Please, man, I'd totally owe you."
Sam sighed. "Yeah, sure I guess," he agreed but felt his nerves beginning to race.
"Perfect. Thanks, man, be here at seven," Luis ordered as he walked away not giving Sam the chance to back out.
up until now
I had sworn to myself that I was content
Cos none of it was ever worth the risk, but
You, are, the only exception
"Sam?"
Sam hopped off his spot on the low wall at the sound of his name. "Jessica, hi."
"Hi. So, you finally have some free time, huh?"
"Uh, yeah, I guess."
Jessica smiled up at him and Sam was sure the sun came out. "Well, I'm glad you finally decided to spend it with me." She had hoped to take his hand, but he had both of them stuffed in his hoodie's pockets, so she looped her arm through his. "I don't know about you, but I'm starving. Wanna grab some pizza or something?"
Sam was so awestruck at having Jessica's arm through his that he barely registered her comment.
"Sam, is pizza okay?"
"Yeah, pizza's great. I just remembered that I'm supposed to tell you that Luis is working."
"Okay," Jessica replied slowly. "I didn't know he'd be joining us. I thought it was going to be just you and me."
"You did?" Sam asked, hoping she didn't notice his voice squeak.
"Yeah, your friend didn't say anything about joining us when he asked me to meet you."
Sam shook his head at his complete ignorance. He was totally in debt to Luis for setting him up like this. "I just didn't want you to think we should wait for him." Sam took a deep breath to summon his courage. He took his hand from his pocket and slipped it into Jessica's.
#*#*#*#
As they ate, they talked about their classes, their friends, and their families. Jessica's views of the library staff made Sam roll with laughter. By the end of the night, Sam was sure Jessica was the girl of his dreams. She wasn't just pretty, she was smart and friendly and she made him laugh. He hadn't felt this comfortable with anyone since he arrived at Stanford.
He walked her to her dorm room feeling like he was walking on air. If she didn't want to go out with him again, he was sure Jessica would still be his friend. At her door, she pulled a pen from her bag, took his hand, and wrote down her number. "Don't let Luis spill coffee on this."
Not understanding what she was talking about didn't stop Sam from saying, "I won't."
"Good." Jessica smiled with a slight blush. "Thanks for the pizza."
"Um, yeah, no problem," he replied wearing a slight blush of his own. In his head he could hear his brother telling him to 'go for it'.
Jessica's hand was on the knob to her room. "Alright, well, I guess I'll see you in class."
"Yeah," he replied nervously. "I'll call you, maybe we can grab coffee or something beforehand."
Jessica beamed. "Sounds good, Sam."
Sam smiled hesitantly, inched closer, gently cupped her cheek, and kissed her. The Dean in his head was cheering.