Against History

Rated: T

Pairing: Asakiku (England x Japan)

Warning: super long and lame, this is my first fanfic so surely there will be some mistakes (but I try my best to avoid it), confusing plot (not really, just to make sure), and look at the title. Yes, it maybe historically incorrect (I did make research, but it's too long so I get lazy in the end). And maybe a little bit racist.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia Axis Powers and any characters of that series. All belong to Himaruya Hidekaz.

A/N: So this is my very first fanfiction. It may contain a lot of mistakes. I try to fix all of the spelling mistakes. Even though this is a one-shot, it is very, VERY long. If you're looking for a short one, this is definably not your taste. What's more, as I said, the story is confusing. Now off with the story. Italic = thought, bold = flashback, hope you enjoy this story!

Against History

England looked down at the bouquet in his hand, gently took a deep breath.

What was wrong with him? Fluttering? No way, England would never admit that…He was the mighty United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, the world was once frightened at him. Why would he ever feel this way…?

But what if Japan rejects me? Germany already did, if even Japan does too, I have no idea what should I say to that stupid frog…And Russia too…Argh…

The sound of sliding door brought England back to reality. It was so sudden that England shouted out in surprise.

Standing in front of him was the Asian man with short raven hair. His chocolate brown eyes, emotionless almost all the time, were staring worriedly at England as he kept saying some kinds of ununderstandable phrases:

"C-C-Cou….Could…y-you…be…my…frie…err, I…I mean…"

"England-san, are you OK?"

"I…I…I…"

Realizing the source of that confusing attitude from England, Japan gently said:

"England-san, you must be tired from a long walk, right? Why don't you come in and have a seat? I'll make the tea."

England calmed himself and nodded. He and Japan went to the living room which was decorated in the traditional way of Japan. As he sat down next to the kotatsu, Japan went to the kitchen in order to prepare some tea.

"Oh hey, Japan…"-England said

"Yes?"

"Th-This…is for you."

England gave Japan the bouquet, still a bit awkwardly. Japan took the bouquet and smiled: "Thank you very much, England-san."

England could hear his heartbeat clearly and his face heated up. He had known Japan for quite a long time and had talked to him a lot, but he had rarely, no, never seen that…

Japan's smile.

That's true since Japan rarely smiled. The polite one didn't count, of course. He was so emotionless almost all the times. His face was always blank and his eyes showed no life. But Japan's "real" smile was so gentle and beautiful. His pale skin glowed up a bit and a very small but warm light shone up in his soundless eyes. "Why am I even thinking that", England shook his head. He told himself to focus on the real reason for coming here. Right, to make an alliance with Japan and get rid of those three-stupid-bugs: Russia, France and Germany.

"So, what make you come here, England-san?"

Japan returned from the kitchen with the tea tray on his hand. The light smell of green tea spread through out the room.

"I'm thinking of making an alliance between us. Your country is getting stronger these years…"

Japan looked at England in half-believed eyes. He still remembered how England proudly announced that he needed no one to keep his company. What was that called again, Splendid Isolation huh? Why would he need an ally now?

"It's not like…It's not like I'm alone or anything! IT'S NOT THAT I'M AFRAID OF RUSSIA, I CAN BEAT THAT WANKER SENSELESS WITH JUST ONE FINGER!"- England exclaimed as he sensed Japan's look.

Japan giggled a bit at England's tsundere attitude: "I understand, England-san. I don't really get on well with Russia-san so I think it's not a problem to build up an alliance with you. I'll speak to my boss about this and return you his decision as soon as I can. But my boss probably will agree, so don't worry."

Time slowly passed by. It was just early in the morning when England arrived. But now, the sun was painting the sky with its last crimson color light. What England and Japan talked, they didn't even remember well. All they knew is they talked a lot, about many things rather than just work. Time seemed to stop around them.

"Oh my, it's already this late…" Japan said as he looked at the sky. "I should go home." England said as he arranged all of the paper works into his suitcase, "See you later then."

"Of course. Good bye, England-san.", Japan walked England to the door and bowed down.

"Oh hey, Japan…"

"Yes, England-san?"

"It's a great pleasure talking to you, Japan. I had a great time!"

There was a silence. The crimson light painted everywhere, even on the cheeks of England and Japan.

"Me too, it's a pleasure talking to you." – Japan gently said, his voice sounded so sweet and warm for a moment.

England settled himself in the red armchair in his room, looking at the ceiling. He smiled as he remembered his day with Japan. It's a high possibility that he will set up an alliance with me, he thought.

"England, are you here?", his boss voice and the knocked on the door cut all of England's thought. "Oh yes, come in please", he answered back.

His boss opened the door, his hand was carrying a lot of paper as usual. "You said that you settled things quite well with Japan today, right?"

"Oh yes, anything wrong?"

"You still didn't hear that?", his boss sighed, "Seemed like Japan's boss just visited Russia. Though there is no possibility that this visit will improve their relations, there's still a high chance that Japan will opposite us."

"WHAT?"

England surprised at the sudden news. What was that, hadn't Japan said he hated Russia just this afternoon? Oh no, now how can I face that stupid France…?

But deep down inside England, something else was hurting him. So much. What was that, England had never experienced such feeling. It hurt him badly. Was he worried? Was he scared?...No, none of that. But what was it?

"Hey, England, you're OK?"

"Oh sure I am" England looked back at his boss. "That's not a big deal though, if he rejects us, we'll continue our Splendid Isolation, not a big deal at all"

England gave a bitter laugh. Hiss boss looked at him, worriedly. He got use to England's tsundere character, but he could sense the different this time. As if some kind of sorrow was buried inside of England's laugh.

"WELL, IT'S NOT LIKE I'M USED TO BEING ALONE OR ANYTHING!", England continued, then let out a long sigh, "Maybe I just need some times alone, do you mind?"

"Not at all, I have some other works anyway. I'll leave now.", his boss said and closed the door, gave him some privacy.

England went to his garden. As peaceful as always. He loved this place. He always came here whenever he felt down. Looking at the sky, he could see the very star in the completely dark color. It was so small, yet shone warmly…

Just like his eyes….

England blushed at his thought. "What's just wrong with me, why would I'm thinking this way?". He continued to focus on something else, but failed immediately. His entire mind was now thinking about that Japanese man, unstoppable. About his rare smile, how beautiful it was, how pure it was…Oh my, could it be I'm…

"England-san!"

A sudden voice broke the silence around England. That voice, that calm yet warm voice, England knew whose voice was that, he knew clearly…

"England-san!" Japan was breathing heavily. He had run, run through a long way, in a very fast speed.

"Japan?", England turned around to see Japan, who was standing right behind him, panting. His voice was cut off because of his gasp:

"Ah…I…thought…that…I can't…see…you…"

"Are you okay? Calm down a bit, Japan."

Japan took a deep breath.

"So"- England said – "I heard about you and Russia…"

"It's not thing like that, England-san! That was something my superior did of his own accord! I was surprised when I heard about that, too! That's why I ran as fast as I could in order to meet you. I'm very happy to make an alliance with you, whether my superior agrees or not."

"I-Is that so?", England tried his best not to yell out in happiness, "Then let's make our alliance official tomorrow, 'kay?"

"If you would like to, England-san."

Silence covered the entire place, but not the same kind of silence England had just felt before Japan arrived. This time was different. He stood there, quietly gazed into the dark brown eyes of Japan. Japan too, gazed at the beautiful emerald eyes of England. And for a moment, they smiled. Gently. But that much already enough to light up the cold weather of England's midnight.

"THIS ALLIANCE IS MADE BECAUSE OF MY SAKE! I DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU OR ANYTHING! REMEMBER THAT, ALL RIGHT?"

Japan giggled at England's super tsundere attitude. But he didn't complain a thing. Why? Because he always found that was a rather cute spot of England.

"Good morning, Japan!"

"Good morning, England-san!"

England sat down, right next to Japan. As usual, he was reading some kind of books or political paper whenever England arrived. Since the day they made their Anglo-Japanese Alliance, England always paid a visit to Japan every time he could. Sometimes because of his work, but sometimes just for a talk. Without his knowing, visiting Japan became a part of England's timetable.

England glanced at Japan's documents. It was the review on the Russo-Japanese War. England smiled: "You did a great job in that war, Japan. I'm surprised at how quick you learned and how strong you got lately."

"Thank you very much, England-san" – Japan replied calmly

"England-san this, England-san that", England frowned, "Why don't you just call me Arthur?"

"Eh?"

"It's my human name: Arthur Kirkland."

"Oh…A-Asa-san?" – Japan rolled his tongue, pronounced it

"What? It's Arthur."

"I'm sorry, I just can't say that. Let me try again. "A-Asa-san…", Japan let out a sigh, "No, I'm so useless."

"Well, you can call me that. Better than England-san all the times. And besides", England tried his best not to blush, "I think the way you say my name is really cute."

A red shade was formed on Japan's cheek, but he turned away so the other won't notice.

"What's your real name, Japan?", England asked

"My real name?"

"Of course, you already know mine, so that's just for fair."

"Uhm…I see…It's Kiku. Kiku Honda."

"Kiku? It sounds like a nice name."

"Really? Thank you, Asa-san. It means Chrysanthemum in English."

"Chrysanthemum?"

"Yes, chrysanthemum is the symbol of Japan's Royal Family."

"Wow…That's a meaningful name. It really suits you, you know. Since that flower is so beautiful. But I think…" – England paused a bit – " You are even more beautiful than that flower."

England blushed furiously. Anyone who saw him right now will surely think he had a fever. Japan was frozen. He could hear his heart palpitated.

At that time, they both recognized their true feeling toward each other, the feeling that was hidden at the deepest corner of their heart.

"Hey Kiku, look!", Arthur said as he pointed at a very faraway star in the mysterious sky of night. That was the only star in the sky. It was so small, yet its light shone brightly.

"Oh yes, Asa-san. I thought that there aren't any stars tonight."

"You know what, Kiku? Every times I look up at the dark night sky, I always think of you. The sky that looks as if it only has one dull black color, but when you look closely, there will be a twinkle light that shines warmly…"

"Is that so…?"

Kiku smiled and leaned his head against Arthur's shoulder. The wind gently blew in the corridor made he felt a bit sleepy.

"Kiku…"

"Yes, Asa-san?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Let's stay together forever, okay?"

"Sure."

"Then promise me that."

"You must promise back too."

"Of course."

Kiku's pinky finger entwined into Arthur's one and they made a promise. The wind continued to blow. The red leave gently whirling and fell onto the ground.

"England!"

"Arrgh…What is it, Alfred?"

Arthur looked up at the younger nation. His usual cheerful face now replaced by a serious one.

"I have something important to discuss with you, England."

Alfred settled his glasses. His serious attitude scared England for some reasons. Especially when he called him "England", not "Iggy". That meant something awful was coming. He could sense that.

"I think you should cut off your relation with Japan."

"WHAT? DID YOU LOSE YOUR MIND? WHY WOULD I DO THAT?"

"What's a big deal anyway? He's just an Asian, a yellow face nation."

"That's stupid, Alfred."

"I don't want to lose trade with China, okay?"

"But…" Arthur was about to say something when America interrupted "I don't want to argue with you, Arthur. Let's make this quick, if you choose Japan, you're on my opposite."

America immediately walked out of the room before England could say anything. He let out a long sigh. Why would he fall into such situation? Yes, even though Alfred beat him in that revolutionary war, he was still Arthur's little brother. He couldn't fight against his brother…He never could…

But…

He couldn't fight against Japan either, or exactly, he couldn't fight against someone that he loved so much, someone that he treasured so much….

As to add to the worse, right when England turned back, he could see his boss standing at the corner of the room. "Oh crap," England thought "he heard everything."

"Arthur," said his boss, "You must end your alliance with Japan. We can't stand against America."

England widened his eyes. Even though he could guess what was coming exactly, he still felt the pang in his chest as if thousand of needles were stabbing through his heart.

"I understand" England whispered slightly "Could you give me only…three more days?"

His boss glanced at England then let out a heavy sigh "Fine, but only three days, OK?"

"I get it."

"Asa-san, is something wrong?"

"No, it's nothing, Kiku…It's just…I really miss you…"

Arthur hugged Kiku tightly, as if he never wanted to let go. It was snowing outside. The winter breeze was blowing coldly. The beautiful snowflakes were dancing everywhere, covered the ground in the pure white color. The wind was getting stronger and stronger by every second, as if it was going to have a big storm.

But what was the matter? Arthur didn't care. Why should he care when in his heart, the storm was even stronger and colder? And his only warmth source was going to leave him soon…

The more Arthur thought, the tighter he hugged Kiku. If only time could stop, he wanted to be like this forever. He wanted this moment to last eternally. He didn't want to leave Kiku, he couldn't do that.

A little drop of water fell onto Kiku's face. Only that made his entire body seemed to go numb. As if it was the tear drop that pent with so much sorrow and pain…

Could it be that…Arthur is crying?

But it could be the snowflake. Who knew…

"I'm sorry, Kiku. But this alliance must be ended."

Silence covered the room. It was just only 3 days but Kiku could sense something wrong was coming. His relationship with America was decreasing, and that feeling America would do something with their alliance could be guessed. Even though he knew that clearly, yet his chest still hurt so much.

"I'm so sorry. I don't want things to end like this at all, Kiku…But this is my superior's order, I can't do anything about it."

Can't do anything about it?
Kiku frowned in disbelief. His lips formed an ironic smile as he stood up and walked straight to the door.

"I see. This alliance can't be kept any longer. Especially when I have lost my faith in you, England-san."

"Kiku!"

Kiku didn't call him "Asa-san" anymore, it was "England-san". Everything between them seemed to drop back into zero.

"Don't call me like that. Just Japan, please."

England was frozen. Each of Japan's words seemed to be the invisible knife that sliced every single corner of his heart.

"I'm sorry, Japan…"

"I'm really disappointed with you, England-san. I gave you my trust, but…" Japan shook his head and opened the door. Soon, his figure was disappeared out of the room.

Right after he stepped out of it, Japan ran as fast as he could. His vision was blurred. He couldn't let England, or anyone else see the depressing pain that was overwhelmed at the corner of his eyes.

Why? Why things ended like this? He couldn't understand. He already went against his superior's will just to be with England at that night. All because of him. Because of England, no, because of Arthur to be exact. Because of his feeling, his love to Arthur. He didn't even care about the consequences he might face after that. All he cared about was to be with England and nothing else…

However…

"But this is my superior's order, I can't do anything about it."

Tears were streaming down of his face. So much that he couldn't see anything clearly but water and water. As he reached out a hand to catch a falling snowflake, it melted immediately. The cold water flew in his small hand as he let out a heavy sigh.

He brushed away his tears and breathed into his hand in order to warm it up a bit. But that didn't help, he didn't feel any warmer. Those memories of that night blew back into his mind…

(flashback)

"Japan, why would you seem to care about that British brat too much?"

Japan didn't say anything. Instead, he just simply stood there with the emotionless look in his eyes.

"Don't ever let your feelings take over you, Japan. That's never a good idea."

"It's none of your business."

"Oh my god" his superior laughed "That isn't like you at all! Since when you learned to talk like that with your superior? Is that what that brat taught you?"

"Please, don't talk like that about England-san."

"How much do you know about that brat, Japan? Since when you become so naïve? He just treats you nicely because that what his work asks him to. Once everything is done, he will just kick you out."

(end of flashback)

Even so, after that, he still went against his superior. He didn't listen to what his superior said.

Maybe he was right.

How naïve of me.

How childish of me.

How foolish…

…Yes, I should have listened to my superior right at the beginning. I should have understood that what he said was right, I should have just ignored England and obeyed my boss as usual.

It was still snowing heavily. The storm was coming…

Never again I would make that same mistake.

Never again I would let my feeling take over me.

Yes, never…

He was back at his homeland, Japan. It wasn't snowy here, but it was raining. The thick rain drops that fell onto his cheek drown into his tears. He could see his house now.

Somebody is inside…Japan thought to himself. He brushed away all of his tears, as fast as he could. No one could see his weakness.

"You finally home."

"We are waiting for you ~ ve!"

"Italy-san? Germany-san?"

"Japan, are you alright?"

"Ah, yes I am. Thank you for asking, Italy-kun."

"Are you sure? You keep on looking at the sky, something's wrong?"

"No. Nothing."

"Really?"

"Really."

"You should just go to bed." Italy said with a light smile "We are going to have a training session tomorrow."

"You're right. Thank you, Italy-kun."

There aren't any stars today again…

Japan closed the curtain of the room. Germany and Italy stared at him worriedly. Japan was always so distant, they couldn't understand him.

Since the day he joined the Axis Powers, not only Germany and Italy but everybody all changed their views on Japan. Especially the Asian countries. In most of their eyes, he was nothing more than a bloody monster, a merciless killing machine with no heart. Ever since WWII started, they all thought about him that way.

So what? Why would he need a heart? It only brought insecure and painful feeling.

Living without it was wonderful…

"That was amazing, Japan." Germany said in a congratulate voice "Almost all of the Asian countries are now under our knees. Sooner or later, the world will be under our hand."

"It's still a long way until that, Germany-san." Japan said blankly "We still didn't touch America yet."

"A-America?"

"Yes. Don't you want to reach out for more? What we have now is not enough and never will be enough."

Germany could sense the danger in Japan's eyes as he spoke. "But…You know that we're going to face with…"

"The USA? So what? Are you scared, Germany-san?"

Germany was silence. Japan grabbed his katana and sharpened it, his face formed a scary smile.

"Tomorrow's going to be a big fight, Germany-san."

Boom! Boom!

The sound that made from the guns and cannons filled in the air. It was raining heavily. Mud and blood combined with each other, covered the ground of Pearl Harbor.

America stood up with the scar after a fight with Japan. The scar wasn't that serious, but it was certainly not a small scar.

"Why…Why would you do that to us?"

"Oh, just a small part of our plan to take over the world, America-san."

"ARE YOU INSANE, JAPAN? Since when did I join that stupid war of yours?"

"I don't know." Japan smiled sarcastically "Since I shot you, I guess?"

"You're nothing more than an animal, you know? What is all of this for?"

"Any animal in this world that doesn't belong to the Great Empire of Japan is nothing more than just dust. I don't care about your existence, as long as my Empire can be raised and develop, I will do anything."

As Japan walked away and became invisible in the rain, America looked at the battleground which was covered with corpses, he ground his teeth.

Soon enough, you will see, Japan. I will pay you back by something that you could never imagine. I will pay you back by something that not only hurts you but also the young generation of you. Something that will not fade away easily.

"America?"

France, England, Russia and China were surprised as soon as they saw their new ally. America had always wanted to stay neutral, why would he…?

"You…join the war?" Russia asked in disbelief

"Yes. You're on the Asian's battlefield right?"

"That's right." Russia replied with a nod

"Then I'm going to be on your side for a while."

England widened his eyes. Asian's battlefield? He meant…Japan?

"Is there something wrong, Alfred? Why you suddenly join the Allied Force, and you want to fight on the Asian's battlefield?"

"Nothing. I just want to give that bastard a lesson."

"What are you talking about, Alfred?"

"He just paid me a surprise visit on Pearl Harbor."

"What?"

"And please, England. Get over with that. You can't fight like this, so just let me handle the Asian's battlefield. You should just stay there with France to fight on European's battlefield. Russia, China and I will beat that bastard."

England stared at America as he walked away. He had heard a lot about Japan's merciless actions recently. What happened? Why did things turned out like this? Since when did Japan become such a different person?

"Japan, Germany, we should just stop this."

Italy cried as he dressed Germany's and Japan's wound. Italy just joined this war because of Germany. He couldn't stand seeing him like this any longer.

"Italy, don't cry" Germany brushed away Italy's tears.

"Germany, Italy, I think we should just surrender."

"WHAT?"

Before Germany had reacted, Japan already shouted back. His eyes filled with hatred and ambition.

And most of all, his pride. His pride that reflected clearly through that soundless eyes.

The pride that covered up everything.

Japan would throw away everything just because of that pride.

"I won't, and never will surrender."

Realizing the terror looked inside of his friends' eyes, Japan mumbled "I'm sorry".

He sighed and stood up, heading to the door. He sat down at the corridor, looking at the dark sky.

"Why? I couldn't see any stars no matter how many times I look for it…"

"The stars are always there. It because of the cannon's smoke that you can not see them."

Japan turned his head back to the source of the voice. Since when that Italy was here?

"So that every times you space out looking at the night sky, you are looking for stars?"

Japan didn't say a thing, he just simply nodded.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing…Italy-kun, nothing."

Italy sat down, beside Japan. He patted his shoulder and smiled brightly "You can keep it yourself if you want. But remember, any times you want, you can just tell me."

"Sorry…Italy-kun…" Japan muttered

"About what?"

"About what just happened, of course. I shouldn't get it out of control."

"I understand that, Jappy!"

"What's with that?"

"Hm? What? Oh, the Jappy one. Because I think that sounds cute."

Japan smiled. Only a slight smile, but obviously he was happy. Italy is such a great friend, he always be there and cheer him up any times he feels down. It seemed like only Italy really looked at him as a person, with heart, right now.

"Germany-san?"

"Eh? Japan? What's wrong? You still didn't sleep?"

"Ah…Sorry for calling at this time of the night."

"No, that's fine. I still didn't sleep yet anyway. So what's up?"

"It's just…I think you should surrender if you wish. And Italy too."

"What?"

"I already thought about this a lot. I'm so selfish to force you two keep up fighting just because of my own sake….I'm sorry. You two need each other. You two should just give it up. I don't have anything left, so I will continue to fight until I let out my last breathe."

The phone already hung up in the other line. Germany was confused. Japan was hard to understand, really. Sometimes he was just that merciless one with no heart, sometimes he was sympathetic and understanding.

"I have great news, England!"

"What's now, frog?"

"Aww…Come one. Why you always call me like that?"

"What's so hard to understand? Because you ARE a frog."

"Whatever…Did you hear that Germany already surrender?"

"Say what?"

England almost dropped the tea cup in his hand because of the news. That was amazing, the war would be over soon, right?

"Now, only one left and we can celebrate our victory!"

"What do you mean by that?"

France smiled softly "Japan still didn't surrender, England."

"WHAT?"

England yelled in disbelief. Now that tea cup was broken as it fell onto the ground. Why? Japan already lost so much…How could he continue to fight? England knew that even though he didn't join the Asian's battlefield directly.

It was his pride. It was his pride that took up all of his mind.

How long could he stand on, really? Why didn't he just give up?

Although he didn't meet Japan anymore and it had been a very long time since their last talk, his feeling toward Japan never once decreased…

Even though he already changed a lot, England believed that someday, Japan would return to the old him, the one that England was desperately in love…

"Everything has changed, Japan. You should surrender, da?"

"Forget it…"

The rain was as heavy as usual on the battleground today. The rain washed away all the blood on Japan's black military uniform, whether it was his own blood or the other victims'.

"You still don't give up, Japan?"

America held out the gun and pointed it at Japan. He didn't answer. Not because he didn't want to, more like he didn't have any strength left.

"I can just shoot you and let you die right now, however…" America gave Japan that same smile he received at the Pearl Harbor battle "But I think that such person like you deserve a better punishment."

As America finished, all of Japan's body went limp and it seemed like he couldn't breathe. His vision went blurred and he collapsed to the ground. Blood was spilling everywhere and the scream of his citizens could be heard in his head. He lost conscious right after that. China surprised by Japan's sudden act, ran over him. Even though China couldn't forgive what Japan had done to him and his people, it was a fact that he was still his brother.

"What just happened…?" China asked

"Atomic bomb." America answered blankly

"What?"

"That was revenge."

"Revenge? Just because of that? Don't you think that's quite too much?"

China called the ambulance. Japan might die if this kept on going any longer.

England was very anxious. America, China and Russia still didn't come back. They said that they would get Japan surrendered by the end of this day. Still, he wondered for what reason that America looked so determined.

The door suddenly bursted open, England and France looked up to see the three said countries coming in.

"So…" France asked "How's thing going?"

"Japan already surrendered.", said America

"Great." France said cheerfully, but that face disappeared as soon as he looked at China. Something was definably wrong.

"What's wrong?" England asked in a worried tone

"Well, it would be better if America just leave me and China to get him surrender in a normal way like we used to do, however…"

However? Oh no, this was not going to be good.

"He dropped two atomic bombs into Japan." China replied

"What?"

England didn't believe in what he just said. So that was what America kept on hiding him recently. The atomic bombs!

Before he knew, England found himself running to the hospital crazily. The others immediately followed him in order to prevent him from doing anything stupid.

"England, calm down!"

America and France tried their best in order to stop England from rushing to the emergency room no matter what the nurses said.

"Even if you could come in, what can you do?" France yelled out

England finally came back to his sense. He dropped himself to the waiting bench, his face was so broken. "I'm just too useless, aren't I?" England asked in bitter voice

"England…" France let out a heavy sigh. He had never once in his life seen his irritable friend became like this. The tears formed in England's eyes but didn't fall yet. However, the pain could be sensed.

France glanced at America, who finally regretted about his action. America could just let Russia and China force Japan to surrender in the same way they did to the other countries instead of dropping that two atomic bombs.

He let his pride took over him. So now…

He and Japan were in the end, the same. He was just as bad as Japan, nothing better.

The emergency room's door opened. Everyone's attention was back to that door. England, as quick as he could, asked the doctor just got out from the room "How was him?".

"I'm sorry…We already did all we could…"

What the doctor said sounded like thunder over his ears. He couldn't believe it. His grip on the doctor suit's collar now loosened a bit. He could feel that his heart was broken into million of pieces.

"This is just a dream, right? It's just a dream…" England muttered

However, this was not a dream…

This was the truth. Reality was so cruel. England had to face the fact that he never once thought he would. Japan, Kiku Honda to be exact, had no longer there, in this world. The person that he loved so much, no longer alive.

China tried his best not to cry. Russia tried to comfort him as China fell onto his chest, sobbing. The room was covered with silence and silence. Pain was everywhere. Everyone felt as if something was tightened their chest that made it's hard to breathe.

The autumn rain was as heavy as they said, kept on going since the morning to the evening. It was also raining inside many people's heart who attended this funeral, especially England's. He looked at the yellow petals of the chrysanthemum that fell onto Kiku's grave. The wind blew over his messy blond hair brought back many of their memories. The cold breeze seemed to be the most painful whip that England had ever felt. As if it cut through his heart.

"Kiku…" England whispered, slightly. China, however, could hear that. He stared at England in surprise. Not many people knew about Japan's human name, except those who worked in the government or family's members. But England knew that. "He must be very dear to Kiku…" he thought to himself

"I love you"

"I love you, too."

"Let's stay together forever, okay?"

"Sure."

England looked at his pinky. The tears continued to roll down his cheek. It wasn't raining anymore, but the night had fallen and the silence took over the place. It felt so empty…without Kiku here.

Soon enough, the government will find a new Japan to replace Kiku. Soon enough, people will forget about him. England sighed as he thought about this. This was the worst thing ever happened in his entire life, even worse than that Revolutionary War.

Here he was, sitting in the corridor that they used to sit during their alliance every night just to stargaze. With each other. They loved that. Every simple thing, as long as with each other, they would enjoy every moments of it. The breeze was blowing again, with the very last petal of cherry blossom falling down.

England opened his eyes slowly to realize the completely different weather than yesterday. The sky was crystal clear and the gentle yet shining light was dancing on the ground. The cherry blossom tree was fully bloom, which was impossible since all of its flowers had withered yesterday. But what caught England eyes most was that unbelievable figures under that said tree. He knew exactly who those two people were…

They were…

One was the Asian man with deep amber eyes and the soft, pure white skin looked just like winter snow, made a big contrast with his eyes and hair. Standing next to him was a European man. The one with honey blond hair, apple green eyes and especially the brushy, extremely thick eyebrows.

That was impossible…How could…?

Memories turned back to him. He remembered that very spring, 30th of January in 1902, the time when he first established his alliance with Japan. The time he first experienced those beautiful moments with his beloved Kiku. England remembered that Kiku invited him to watch the cherry blossom trees with him. He watched those wonderful memories that he could never forget or turn back being replayed right before his eyes. He couldn't really hear what he was saying, nor could he hear what Kiku was saying. As if he didn't exist in this vaporous space.

Another blow of wind swept by. England closed his eyes as the wind was so strong. Right after he opened them back, he could see the scene was changing again. Now he was standing in the yard at noon, the dazzling light was shone on the sky. The smell of drizzle was filled in the air. It was summer for sure. Turning his head back, he could see inside of the house, right at the living room, Kiku was lying onto the kotatsu. He was sleeping, so cute and peacefully. England was there too, stroking his hair gently.

And just like that, he could see more and more of his memories being replayed, not in the order of times. It just came for a bit, then suddenly disappeared, and here came another. From the happy memories to the sad memories…

Now, England found himself in Japan's office. There wasn't him, just Kiku and his superior. Those obscure sounds now became so obvious.

"I don't agree, Japan."

"What?"

"I don't think we shouldn't establish alliance with England."

"But why?"

"Because I'm thinking of establish alliance with Russia."

"But…"

"No but, Japan. This is an order."

"Your order is unwarranted, sir."

The superior frowned, obviously not pleased with Kiku's answer.

"You do know who are you talking too, don't you?"

"Yes, sir. But isn't it me who decide everything in the end?"

"Since when that…" his boss angrily said, but Japan didn't bother to listen to him. He was now rushing to the door and nowhere to be found. The superior, of course, was yelling and cursing something in Japanese, but England couldn't hear since the sound became obscure again.

Another sweep of wind blew by, and now, he could see something he remembered so clearly.

In the meeting room where he ended his alliance with Japan.

Just like that time, the room was covered with silence as he made a request to end their alliance.

"I'm so sorry. I don't want things to end like this at all, Kiku…But this is my superior's order, I can't do anything about it."

Kiku's face somehow became different. Surely, it was the same look at that time, but…

Something was different in his mind…

"I see. This alliance can't be kept any longer. Especially when I have lost my faith with you, England-san."

Ah…

A light suddenly crossed over his mind. Everything seemed to make sense somehow. Every puzzle pieces that was missing from his head now became so obvious. All of the words Japan said that day…it was becoming clearer and clearer.

And right at this moment, he realized how cruel he had treated Kiku.

That's right. Kiku didn't even care about anything might happened to him, just to be with England. Kiku didn't leave him, didn't abandon him. He was there, he was always there for him. Never once he leaves…

Yet England didn't do that. He left Japan because of his superior's order. He couldn't do anything about that. He didn't have enough courage to go against his superior's will.

How weak he was…

No wonder why Kiku felt himself being betrayed. Surely after so much he gave England, England didn't return a bit. As if all of his hope was crushing and what he received in the end was nothing.

It's nothing like that, Japan, it's nothing like that…

England suddenly ran after Japan. Even from a distance, he could see Japan's tears were streaming.

Maybe he couldn't touch Japan, maybe all of his voice, no matter how hard he tried, he could never reach Japan, but he would try at least. He couldn't ignore Japan. He couldn't leave him like this. He couldn't…

"JAPAN!"

Japan didn't turn back. There was a high chance he couldn't hear him. But…

"Japan! Japan!...No, Kiku! Kiku! Please, Kiku! Hear me out!"

Suddenly, Kiku stopped. He could hear him, couldn't he?

"England-san?" Japan turned his head back in surprise.

"Kiku…I'm sorry…Kiku!"

Arthur hugged Kiku tightly into his chest, squeezing him as the longing for his warmth had reached its limit in Arthur's body. His hand gently brushed away all the tears that fell down from Kiku's beautiful, yet sorrowful eyes.

"I should have realized this sooner, I'm so stupid. I leave you just because of my superior's order. I'm sorry, Kiku." The more he said, the more he tightened his grip around Kiku's waist "I broke the promise between us, I can't believe it. You were the only one that is always there for me, no matter what happened. Yet I left you. I know I don't deserve the second chance, however, I'm begging you, please forgive me. Because I still love you, I still love you a lot."

Kiku's hands finally wrapped around Arthur. He hugged him back. Arthur felt his chest lighter as if the rock that he had been bearing with finally disappeared. He leaned down to kiss in Kiku's small red lips. The kiss was as chaste and pure as the snow that didn't stop falling, yet as passionate as the ever burning flame, keep on lasting for eternal…

…Until Kiku pushed Arthur away. He caressed Arthur's face with his small hand and gave him a gentle, yet mournful smile. "I'm sorry, Asa-san. But we can't go back anymore. I'm no longer belonged to this world. I'm very happy that I get to meet you, to love you. I treasure each moments that we spent together. I have no regret, Asa-san. It's time for me to go back to…"

"NO!" England cried out "I can't let you go again!"

"Asa-san…It's too late now. History already made its move, we can't do anything about it."

"So what? After all those years, after how many upside-down, I finally got to see you again, yet this is the end? No, no and no. I won't let you go ever again." Arthur lowered his voice a bit "Just because of my superior's order, I left you. And you always there for me, no matter what your boss said. How stupid of me! I don't want to make that mistake ever again. If I couldn't stand against my superior's will, then this time, let me stand against history."

He kissed Kiku's forehead and whispered "I love you, Kiku. Forever and always…"

The very first light finally showed up after such a long snowstorm. The light shone through the thick snow, with its heat immediately melted the white liquid. It was so warm…

THE END

A/N: So, if you're reading this note, I'm very happy to know that you make it 'til the end of such a long story. Do you like it or not? I didn't bother to change anything since this is my first fanfic, I don't want to re-edit it too much. And sorry for that, I knew they broke up in autumn, not winter. However, I made they broke up on the snowy day. Yeah…Non-sense, I know. Other than that, everything was in its order. And again, no racist here, I love American and Japanese. But this is war, I can't let them act gently, kindly or submissively like usual. And please leave me some reviews about what you think, I want to improve my writing more. This is just my start anyway.

My next fanfic will be another Asakiku, way shorter than this. Maybe a song fic, hope you will be there and read it.