Crossing the Line

Disclaimer: Not mine...never will be, but I wish I owned DJE.

Note: I was watching the episode for the millionth time and I was inspired. LOL. Most of the dialogue is from the scene, but I will add my own toward the end. Sorry for any mistakes. Short verse at intro belongs to Gladys Knights-"Neither One Of Us".

Note 2: I am so close to completing the new story I have for you guys. I want to make sure it is good enough to read and keep you all interested! Soon, I promise. For now, here is another one of my old stories.

It's sad to think we're not gonna make it
And it's gotten to the point
Where we just can't fake it
For some ungodly reason
We just won't let it die

I guess neither one of us
Neither one of us wants to be the first to say good-bye

Harm's Apartment

North of Union Station

Washington, DC

I stand leaning against his door frame for a while now. He hasn't noticed me; I don't think I want him to. It's been a long time since I had the chance or took the time to stop what I was doing just to look at him. To observe his every move when he thought no one was watching. I look down to the floor at the realization that this might be the last time I ever get to see him at all. I gaze back at him. He's seen me now.

"Hey." I look up to see Mac. How long has she been standing there? Not that I mind. We have a little more than twelve hours together, and spending every one of them with her would be more than I'd ever imagine. After Paraguay, anyway.

"Hey yourself." I sigh. "There's something so final about a packed suit case." Ha, no kidding.

"Yeah. Not to mention an entirely packed apartment. How about you? You packed?"

"Mmm, not completely." Awkward silence. Not good for us. I sigh again. "Let's talk about, you and me." Please, Harm, don't push me away or hide behind your walls. Not this time.

I knew it would come to this. But now that it's here, I'm not so sure I'm ready. I don't want to say goodbye. Not to Mac. "Neither one of us..."

"Wants to be the first to say goodbye. Yeah, I know the song, we've been singing it for years." Funny, you'd think that we would learn from our past. From all of the mistakes we've made. On various occasions we have come so close to losing each other to our jobs, significant others, and even death itself. Yet somehow we always manage to end up here. Together. But for what? We've never taken advantage of the second chances. I realize it might be a little too late. I am determined to find out.

"Mac, I don't think that I will ever...feel about anyone else, the way that I feel about you." I said it. And it's the utter truth. My heart aches for this woman. It's been broken many times by her words, but it has mended many more times by her actions. No one else has ever done that to me. Only her.

Did he just say that? Because it's possible that I just heard what I wanted to hear. "That's very flattering. One piece of advice, don't share that with your wife. Whoever she might be. She might not understand." He just opened up and that's all I can say? I must be losing it. Then again, Harm is good at making me lose my words when I most need them.

"Do you understand?" I don't think that she does. She doesn't know just how much she means to me. Or maybe I haven't really shown her, though I could swear I have. Maybe it's because I haven't said it in so many words. But I'm saying it now. Not that it matters anyway. London and San Diego are very far from each other. Maybe I just don't want us to part without her knowing how much I love her.

Ok, he's got me. I do understand. But I don't want to because it will only serve as a reminder of what I want, but can't have. Him. "Why we can't make it work? Why we've let fate decide our futures? No, I don't."

"Let me ask you a personal question. Of all the men in your life, what was it about them that attracted you?" I should stop walking back and forth with boxes, but I can't. I'm completely on auto pilot.

"Well, they wanted me, and they'd let me know it." True. Every one of them did. But why did I need Harm to voice it out loud? Were his actions not enough? Sure, every woman wants to hear that a man wants her, but Harm has demonstrated it with his heart. Every one of his actions towards me has been a command from his heart. Then why have I pushed him to tell me so many times?

I walk to sit next to her. I have to be near her. "I wanted you. You knew that." God did I want her. I still do. Life is unfair sometimes. The obsessive and possessive jerks always get the girl. I guess nice guys really do finish last. Maybe the stubborn ones do.

I sigh, yet again. "Harm, no woman wants to be a mind-reader. And with you there was always complications. Another woman, work, searching for your father."

"That's all past."

"Is it?" The picture of his father and him on the Tico is lying face up next to the boxes.

"Mac, we have twelve hours." To do what exactly? I reach to take her hand in mine. I don't know what I expect out of that statement. I'm not sure I could have a one night stand with Mac. I respect her much more than that. And I love her too much. Once wouldn't be enough. Sure, it would be a good memory for both us, but in the end it would hurt us more than help us. I know it would haunt me for the rest of my life. Knowing how she feels, how we feel together, and knowing that I could never feel that again would tear me apart slowly. But maybe I want closure. Maybe I think we have a chance. Again.

"We've had nine years." Seems like a lot longer than that, yet it wasn't enough.

Point taken. But I don't want to leave. Not without her. "I guess maybe I just needed a deadline." I guess I like to procrastinate and complicate the hell out of my life. Though, this is cutting it a little close. Even for me.

"Well, you got one, Sailor." But what will he do with it? There's not much he can do now. I stare back at him. What is he thinking?

I stare back at her. It's now or never. I lean closer to her. I need to do this. I don't have to go very far, for she meets me half way.

I lean toward his lips. I want to do this. We meet half way and our lips touch. Oh, god, I had forgotten how good it felt to kiss and be kissed by this man. It's not a passionate kiss, yet it isn't gentle. It's perfect, and I won't let go. I reach to cup his face and pull him closer. He comes willingly.

I had forgotten how incredible it felt to caress her lips with my own. And the level of intensity made it even better. She pulls my face closer as I bring my hands to her back to pull her body toward mine.

I don't want to stop, but I have to know. "What are you proposing? And that's not a Freudian slip."

Our foreheads rest against each other as her hands slide up and down my chest. She's making this harder and easier all at once. But now more than ever I know what I want in life. Her. I want her, I need her, and I'm about to tell her. It's up to her what she decides. "I'm proposing. Let's get married." I go to kiss her again. And this time it's more passionate than the last. I reach down with my left hand to grab the stool she's sitting on. As I pull her closer, my right hand presses against her back. She fits right between my legs.

He just proposed! He just asked, okay, stated that we get married. This is what I've wanted for so long now. And I will never let him go. Not now. Not ever. "In London?" I break the kiss.

"Yeah, London works for me."

"San Diego works for me."

Ok. It seemed too easy for this to be true. We sigh together. Did we really think that a confession of love would make it easier? We have never done things the easy way. Why would it change now? "This has always been the five-hundred pound gorilla in the room."

I rest my forehead on his. It was too good to be true. I knew it. I look back and stare at his blue-green eyes. "If we get married, one of us has to give up their Navy careers."

We stare at each other more intensely. "Well, we could wait till I retire." I try to lighten the mood.

I smile as he rubs his nose against mine in a sweet gesture of love and comfort. Something we've always had on some level or another. "What's another decade or so, huh." I run my hands up his chest again.

"I love you, Mac." She sighs. I know it's what she's wanted to hear. Only this time I'm not afraid to tell her. "But I don't want to give up my Navy career and you don't want to give up the Marine Corps."

"So we're right back where we started." I sigh and look down. The heavens can't be this cruel. Not when we finally have each other on the same page. I can't lose him. I won't.

"You believe in fate?" I get her looking back at me with my question.

"Well, it brought us together, sort of."

"Well, fate can keep us together forever." She doesn't seem to get it. She looks a little confused, but it'll all be clear in a while. But for the time being, I want to kiss her again. So I do.

He angles his head toward me. I don't know exactly what he meant, but I trust him. I always have. But right now I want to kiss him and he's meeting me half way. He pulls me closer as I wrap my arms around his neck. We can't get close enough.

I can't get enough. Is this really happening? Is it possible that we've finally managed to beat the odds? I hope so. I don't remember when we broke away but I hear Mac whisper against my lips.

"I love you, Harm." I rest my head on his shoulder, tucked safely in the crook of his neck. I pull him closer. I don't want this to end. I don't want to move. "Tell me this is real. That I'm not dreaming. That this isn't wishful thinking."

He hugs me closer in a reassuring manner. "It's real. Finally."

"Good." I start to kiss his neck and run a path up his ear. "God, Harm, who knows how long I've loved you."

"It doesn't matter. We love each other and that's all that's important." I pull her away a bit to look into her brown eyes. "I really do love you."

"I know." I lift my head to bring our lips together once more. It won't be the last. Not even close.

She wraps her arms around my neck again. I could get used to this. And I better, because this is how our lives are going to be from this moment on. I break the kiss all too quickly, I'm starting to panic. "Tell me now if you have any doubts."

Harmon Rabb, the best fighter pilot on the east coast, possibly the world, has just managed to sound vulnerable without hiding behind an excuse. I smile at his uncertainty as I stoke his face. "I don't if you don't."

"I have to say that this is the easiest deal I have ever made." I move to kiss her, but she backs away with a hand to my chest.

I see his eyes question my move. I smile again. It's amazing how comfortable we are now. Not too long ago we could barely be in the same room, yet now it's as if all the past stupidities we managed to do didn't happen. "Make love to me, Harm."

His eyes widen a bit. I know he's not scared to take it there. He's a grown man. But I think he's afraid for me. It's in his nature to want to protect me. It's gotta be some gentleman Sailor thing.

She really did just ask me that. I can't help but be a little taken back by her boldness. I want to. But I just want to make sure that she's sure about this. It's a big step for us. We would be crossing that line that has divided us for so long. That invisible wall that we never wanted to come near for fear that we might crash and die. "Are you sure about this, Mac?" I run my hands up and down her back. She looks back at me with a look that I can't really describe. It's not a bad look, so I know she doesn't hate me for asking.

I can't help but fall in love with him a little more. "Yes, I'm sure, Harm." I cup his face again and pull him in for a kiss as he nods.

I get up from my stool, but not without pulling Mac up with me. I wrap my arms around her waist bringing her closer as she goes for my neck. I try to walk us back toward my bedroom, but our kissing is making it hard on us, so I opt for another plan.

It's kind of hard walking forward, avoiding cardboard boxes, and kissing the man you love all at the same time. Who ever said a woman could multitask has never had Harmon Rabb as a challenge. I feel one of his hands on my upper back while his other goes to the back of my knees. He's carrying me to his bed. It's very "An Officer and A Gentleman" except Richard Gere has nothing on Harm. And my sailor is a Captain. I smile as he breaks our kiss to look at me.

I walk us to the bedroom, stopping at the end of the bed to place Mac back on her feet. It's not long after that all of our clothes seem to get scattered on the floor around us.

I do my best to kiss him and show him how much I love him. And I know that he's doing the same. We're both holding back to prolong this. It has to be perfect for both of us. Though, I don't imagine it being anything but.

I kiss her, caress her, and return every ounce of love that she is giving me. It's perfect. If I didn't know better I'd say that we had been lovers for ever. But maybe we have been. We have always been connected deeper than with anybody else. Our souls have been intertwined since the beginning, it is only normal for us to feel like this. "I love you." I whisper into her ear as I feel her tremble in my arms.

Once I heard him say that, I came apart. I couldn't help it, but tears made their way down my face. He rests on his elbows to wipe them away with his thumbs. I smile up at him knowing he is probably concerned. "Don't worry. They're happy tears." He laughs quietly.

I bury my face against her neck and I know she can feel me trembling this time. She hugs me to her as she whispers into my ear this time.

"I love you, too."

Sometime later we are lying quietly in bed. Harm is on his back with me half draped across his body. His arms holding me tightly against him. I have never in my life felt more at peace, more safely than I do at this exact moment. If ever in my life I had doubted where I belonged, I don't anymore. This is where I want to be. Lying here with Harm next to me is exactly where I was meant to be. Fate. There is such a thing. We're living proof.

I feel her shift a little in my arms. We can't go to sleep, we're too wrapped up in too many thoughts for sleep to take over. Not that I want to, anyway. I'd rather lay like this with her in my arms and be conscious of it than be sleeping. "What are you thinking?" I turn my head to look her.

I look up at him as I wrap my left arm more tightly around his waist. "How are we going to do this?"

I shift to lie on my side with her close to me. I can see her eyes more clearly this way. "Remember what I said about fate?"

He strokes my face and tucks my hair behind my ear. "Yes." I reply as I close my eyes.

"You want to flip a coin for it?" I ask her seriously. I know that that's going to be the only way we fix this because neither of us wants to give up our careers. It doesn't mean we don't love each other enough to do so, but it's not easy giving up a part of who you are. For either of us. And we both understand that.

I open my eyes and stare into his eyes with a smile. "Are you serious? A coin toss?"

I chuckle. "Yes. It's the only way. And fate will let happen what ever is meant to happen. Whether we end up in London or in San Diego. Everything happens for a reason right."

I nod as I kiss his lips. "Right. So when do we do it?"

"I thought we just did." He's trying to be funny, but I smack his arm anyway. "Ouch! What was that for?" He releases his hold on me to rub his right arm.

"So..." I change the topic. I look at him questioningly.

He shifts around to grab the phone from his night stand. I can't help but look as his back muscles flex beneath his skin. It's not like I never noticed how gorgeous he was, but I now have the freedom to do so whenever and however long I want to. He's all mine and I'm his. I smile.

I dial the familiar number to their house. Not long after the first ring there's an answer. "Hey, Bud. Sorry to bother you so late, but can you do me a favor? Can you meet Mac and me at McMurphy's in an hour? And, Bud, make sure you have a coin with you. It doesn't matter, Bud. Any coin. It's a surprise. Oh, hey Harriet. Well, it's got something to do with Mac and me. No, we're ok. It's just that..." I look at Mac and point the phone toward her. "You want to explain or should I?"

I smile as I reach for the speaker button on his phone behind him. "Why don't WE explain it to them. Hey, Harriet. Hi, Bud."

"Hi, ma'am." "Hello, ma'am."

"We want you guys to meet us at McMurphy's because we have a little problem. See, we want to get married, but in order to do so we have to first figure out where. Which means that one of us has to give up our orders."

"Oh, ma'am, I am so happy for you! I can't believe this! When is the date? Do you guys have plans for this year?"

"Whoa, Harriet, hang on. I just asked Mac to marry me not too long ago. We need some more time."

"Uh, yes, sir. Sorry. It's just that I am so excited for the two of you." "Me, too, sir. This is great news. But what do you need a coin for?"

"Bud, Harm was smart enough to come up with a plan. We flip for it. Who ever wins the coin toss wins the place they are assigned to."

"But, ma'am, a coin toss to determine the rest of your lives? Isn't that a little too...?"

"No, Bud. Whether Mac or I win, we both get one thing in return. Each other. And that's what matters." I look to her and make eye contact as I smile.

"Yes, sir."

"So you'll meet us in an hour?"

"Yes, sir. We'll be there."

"Thank you, Bud. See you there."

"You're welcome, ma'am."

Harm turns around to hang up the phone, but he doesn't. "We have to make one more call."

I nod. I don't know who, but I nod anyway.

"Hey, Jen. Can you meet the Colonel and me at McMurphy's in an hour? He is? Bring the Commander with you as well. Oh, and Jen, get General Cresswell to come. Get him there however you can. It's a surprise, Jen. But it's important that all of you be there. Alright. See you then."

I hang up the phone and turn back to Mac. She's smiling and I haven't seen her smile like that in a long time. I smile back at her before kissing her.

"I haven't seen that smile in a while, Flyboy."

"Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you."

I trace his bottom lip with my index finger. "I guess we just needed each other in order to be happy."

"We will be, Mac. From now on we will be." I scoot closer to kiss her fully.

THE END