Title: I'll Take The Rain
Author: Jane McCartney
Disclaimer: Yeah, right, let's go through this again. None of these characters are mine, but Joss's and the other guys whose names I don't know. They're geniuses, I'm not. So don't sue me, I'm just having some fun by borrowing on poetic license.
Classification: A W/X friendship two-chapter thing, that takes place several months after 'Grave'.
Rating: PG13
Feedback: I'd kill for it! Okay, maybe not. But I still love those reviews... please, send them to me!
E-mail: [email protected]
Acknowledgments: Forever Theo. Really, I could marry this guy. [Theo's note: Not if she ever met me] His help is not only important, but also essential. Without him, every work of mine would be a big page of semi- illegible English. And my dear reviewers too, as always! You guys keep me going.
Author's note: I'm really beginning to believe I'm some sort of manic- depressive, because every fic I write seems to, at some point, turn angsty somehow! Gee, Jane, get some humor in your writing, woman...
Summary: W/X friendship. Post-'Grave'. A true friend will be the one to point out to you the hard truths, instead of the comforting lies.
***
They stayed in thick and utter silence for many fleeting seconds.
"You mean..." Willow started to ask, and Xander nodded softly, his brown eyes averted from hers.
"Oh," Willow repeated louder, suddenly feeling her mind fade into a world of daze and confliction.
"Wills? Are you OK?" Xander asked, his voice showing he was going through a similar rush of emotions as his friend.
"Yeah, I'm perfectly and absolutely peachy," the redhead chimed in, as her body told her its sudden need to sit down and take a deep, long breath.
Willow eyed the nearby chair, but her fainting and stubborn body was caught in time by Xander's arms. He sent a worried glance to the petite girl.
"I'm, I'm still peachy," the redhead insisted stubbornly. "Just a little blunty, that's all. I guess I'll just have to have a long conversation with my idiot legs, about the right and wrong time to decide to stop working on me."
"Willow, sit down," Xander commanded her softly, as he supported his best friend's lanky frame on the chair.
"I'm sorry," she sighed.
"You don't have to be," the dark-haired young man sighed too. "That night with Faith, I was confused as hell. And with the big grand Apocalypse thing, I was hurt for being told by my friends to butt out."
Willow tried to say something, but Xander didn't let her. "It's OK, you all had your reasons and it was a really long time ago now. And I really don't wanna rehash all that again, one tragedy at time here," he exaggerated in a half-mocking voice.
Willow stayed silent, but her eyes showed him she wasn't happy with his decision and they'd certainly return to that topic later.
Xander shuddered slightly at the memories of Jack O'Toole's gang, the bomb and the never-told tale of how he'd prevented them blowing up the high school; the very same night, the Sisterhood of Jhe had tried to open the Hellmouth.
"But hey, the truth is, I was really conflicted for months. I mean, the thing with Cordelia â€" it was kinda like having a live grenade in your hands! Always fighting and making up, snapping at each other and making out in the broom closet, the screaming and kissing... well, you get the point I guess," Xander finished quickly with an awkward grin, rebuking himself when he saw Willow shiver in the chair, an uncomfortable look in her eyes.
"I guess I did love Cordy, well â€" sorta. In our own weird way, we cared about each other a lot," Xander shrugged away the memories of the brunette girl.
"But you, you had Oz. You loved him, not me. Not after sophomore year, at least. Maybe you thought you loved me before... And you were â€" are â€" my best friend. You've always been that, I guess."
"Xander..."
"I mean, Buff only came in later. And what we had, it was stupid and childish I guess. But I didn't... I mean, if I regret anything, it was that it hurt Oz and Cor. 'Cause I really still regret that! But sometimes, I wonder if it was just a case of bad timing... you and me, I mean. Us. As an item."
After his little speech, perfectly suitable for one of Woody Allen's movies with its rambling and babbling and confused sentences, Xander stabbed the room with a nervous glance.
Willow slowly raised her head. Xander noticed the tears falling perilously out of her ocean-green eyes.
"Oh God, Wills, I'm so sorry," the dark-haired boy ran to her side, softly squeezing her hands into his.
"No, p-please don't be," she retorted in a cracked and teary voice, drying the tears away from her face with the back of her hand.
"I guess that, with everything you said, it makes two of us," Willow admitted softly. "Without Cordelia and with Oz instead, of course. I guess I just didn't know I was gay then, huh?" the redhead chuckled, a laugh almost lost between gasps and brand-new tears.
Almost.
Xander chuckled with her, feeling his eyes slowly forming unshed tears too.
"You've got no idea how painful it was to see you on the street that night, with those bitches from the Sisterhood of Jhe trying to bring about the Apocalypse and all. But I meant what I said back then; I loved you, Xander. And I'm almost totally positive, that it was in a more-than-friends way."
They exchanged a meaningful look before she continued, "But what with Oz dumping me, and Cordelia getting hurt when they found out about us that night Spike wanted me to do that spell for Drusilla... I couldn't do that to Oz, Xander, I just couldn't. It was too hard, and I loved him too, I really did. I owed him. Things were just too complicated already..."
Xander looked down, and then back at her. He opened his mouth to say something, but Willow gently laid her finger on his lips to silence him.
"And yet I kept wondering," the redhead whispered.
For several seconds, the only sound in the room was the dripping water falling into the sink, in the nearby kitchen.
Willow, almost completely rigid on the chair like a scared infant afraid of the big menacing world, and Xander by her side like her knight in tarnished armor; hands holding onto each other firmly yet gently, stares seeming to stick one to the other's like glue.
"I loved her so much, Xander," Willow muttered in such a low voice that it'd have made anyone else wonder if she'd even said anything. But her dark- haired friend had heard her, because of their powerful ties of friendship and the unique connection between their souls.
"I know, Wills. And I'm sure Tara knew it too," he said quietly, increasing the grip on her hand.
"I don't know if I regret what I did to her killer," Willow whispered, anger seeming to join the pain and grief in her voice. "I do regret everything else I did... all the pain I caused, the magic, the end-of-the- world stuff â€" I really do regret everything else. But sometimes, I feel like I just can't regret what I did to Warren," the red-haired girl confessed hauntingly.
Xander kept silent for a few seconds before calmly and decidedly saying, "I'm not sure about many things in my life right now, Wills. But if there's one thing I do know, it's that if I could ever get the chance to be in your place that day and erase the pain of that doubt, I'd do it in the blink of an eye."
"Would you? Would you have killed Warren?" Willow asked him in a small and haunted voice.
The young man saw the sorrow and the fear in her eyes. "It'd be so easy to say no, but-"
"It'd also be so easy to say yes," Willow finished quietly for him.
He half-snorted. "Right."
"Xander?" the redhead asked weakly, the tears finally stopping abruptly to leave space for occasional sobs and pangs of distress.
Their dark brown and ocean-green eyes met reassuringly.
"Promise me one thing?" she requested, looking so fragile at that moment Xander had to control the urge to just hug her for endless hours.
"Anything," he retorted firmly.
"Don't ever leave me," Willow whispered.
"Hey, I won't ever do that," the young man smiled, despite everything. "I promise."
The petite young woman hugged him and they just stayed like that, never noticing the sound of dripping water in the kitchen sink or the thick cold chill from a sudden wind blowing against their bodies, from the open window.
"And promise me just one more thing?" Willow asked, her voice muffled by her mouth against his large shoulder in their embrace.
"You'll get that lame ass of yours in gear, and gather up the guts to talk to Anya? Because all you've talked about for these last two months is her name," the redhead inquired, sounding incredibly and suspiciously innocent to her best friend.
"That's soundin' very 'Cordelia' of you, Wills," he grunted, and they both grinned.
"Is that your final answer?" the petite redhead demanded.
"Why? You don't think my idea of winning back a former vengeance demon's heart with some wannabe-ashtray is gonna work?" Xander said mockingly, as they pulled out of their hug but still stayed barely inches from each other.
"Honestly? No. It pretty much sucks," Willow retorted with a wild grin, her red eyes looking the perfect contradiction.
Xander chuckled, and shoved a lock of long red hair behind her ears. "You're amazing, y'know."
She kept her smile, but now it was a contemplative and sadder one somehow, her eyes averting from his and seeming to find a new spot on the floor. "Sometimes I wonder-"
"But mostly you just know," the young man cut her off and finished gently.
Willow quickly raised her glance back to his, her eyes showing fear, love, fire and hope. "I'll always mean it, you know? I love you."
He smiled. "I know, Wills. I love you too."
***
This is the end, folks.
Pretty please, review me! It'll only cost a sec to you, but a world of yays to me!
Author: Jane McCartney
Disclaimer: Yeah, right, let's go through this again. None of these characters are mine, but Joss's and the other guys whose names I don't know. They're geniuses, I'm not. So don't sue me, I'm just having some fun by borrowing on poetic license.
Classification: A W/X friendship two-chapter thing, that takes place several months after 'Grave'.
Rating: PG13
Feedback: I'd kill for it! Okay, maybe not. But I still love those reviews... please, send them to me!
E-mail: [email protected]
Acknowledgments: Forever Theo. Really, I could marry this guy. [Theo's note: Not if she ever met me] His help is not only important, but also essential. Without him, every work of mine would be a big page of semi- illegible English. And my dear reviewers too, as always! You guys keep me going.
Author's note: I'm really beginning to believe I'm some sort of manic- depressive, because every fic I write seems to, at some point, turn angsty somehow! Gee, Jane, get some humor in your writing, woman...
Summary: W/X friendship. Post-'Grave'. A true friend will be the one to point out to you the hard truths, instead of the comforting lies.
***
They stayed in thick and utter silence for many fleeting seconds.
"You mean..." Willow started to ask, and Xander nodded softly, his brown eyes averted from hers.
"Oh," Willow repeated louder, suddenly feeling her mind fade into a world of daze and confliction.
"Wills? Are you OK?" Xander asked, his voice showing he was going through a similar rush of emotions as his friend.
"Yeah, I'm perfectly and absolutely peachy," the redhead chimed in, as her body told her its sudden need to sit down and take a deep, long breath.
Willow eyed the nearby chair, but her fainting and stubborn body was caught in time by Xander's arms. He sent a worried glance to the petite girl.
"I'm, I'm still peachy," the redhead insisted stubbornly. "Just a little blunty, that's all. I guess I'll just have to have a long conversation with my idiot legs, about the right and wrong time to decide to stop working on me."
"Willow, sit down," Xander commanded her softly, as he supported his best friend's lanky frame on the chair.
"I'm sorry," she sighed.
"You don't have to be," the dark-haired young man sighed too. "That night with Faith, I was confused as hell. And with the big grand Apocalypse thing, I was hurt for being told by my friends to butt out."
Willow tried to say something, but Xander didn't let her. "It's OK, you all had your reasons and it was a really long time ago now. And I really don't wanna rehash all that again, one tragedy at time here," he exaggerated in a half-mocking voice.
Willow stayed silent, but her eyes showed him she wasn't happy with his decision and they'd certainly return to that topic later.
Xander shuddered slightly at the memories of Jack O'Toole's gang, the bomb and the never-told tale of how he'd prevented them blowing up the high school; the very same night, the Sisterhood of Jhe had tried to open the Hellmouth.
"But hey, the truth is, I was really conflicted for months. I mean, the thing with Cordelia â€" it was kinda like having a live grenade in your hands! Always fighting and making up, snapping at each other and making out in the broom closet, the screaming and kissing... well, you get the point I guess," Xander finished quickly with an awkward grin, rebuking himself when he saw Willow shiver in the chair, an uncomfortable look in her eyes.
"I guess I did love Cordy, well â€" sorta. In our own weird way, we cared about each other a lot," Xander shrugged away the memories of the brunette girl.
"But you, you had Oz. You loved him, not me. Not after sophomore year, at least. Maybe you thought you loved me before... And you were â€" are â€" my best friend. You've always been that, I guess."
"Xander..."
"I mean, Buff only came in later. And what we had, it was stupid and childish I guess. But I didn't... I mean, if I regret anything, it was that it hurt Oz and Cor. 'Cause I really still regret that! But sometimes, I wonder if it was just a case of bad timing... you and me, I mean. Us. As an item."
After his little speech, perfectly suitable for one of Woody Allen's movies with its rambling and babbling and confused sentences, Xander stabbed the room with a nervous glance.
Willow slowly raised her head. Xander noticed the tears falling perilously out of her ocean-green eyes.
"Oh God, Wills, I'm so sorry," the dark-haired boy ran to her side, softly squeezing her hands into his.
"No, p-please don't be," she retorted in a cracked and teary voice, drying the tears away from her face with the back of her hand.
"I guess that, with everything you said, it makes two of us," Willow admitted softly. "Without Cordelia and with Oz instead, of course. I guess I just didn't know I was gay then, huh?" the redhead chuckled, a laugh almost lost between gasps and brand-new tears.
Almost.
Xander chuckled with her, feeling his eyes slowly forming unshed tears too.
"You've got no idea how painful it was to see you on the street that night, with those bitches from the Sisterhood of Jhe trying to bring about the Apocalypse and all. But I meant what I said back then; I loved you, Xander. And I'm almost totally positive, that it was in a more-than-friends way."
They exchanged a meaningful look before she continued, "But what with Oz dumping me, and Cordelia getting hurt when they found out about us that night Spike wanted me to do that spell for Drusilla... I couldn't do that to Oz, Xander, I just couldn't. It was too hard, and I loved him too, I really did. I owed him. Things were just too complicated already..."
Xander looked down, and then back at her. He opened his mouth to say something, but Willow gently laid her finger on his lips to silence him.
"And yet I kept wondering," the redhead whispered.
For several seconds, the only sound in the room was the dripping water falling into the sink, in the nearby kitchen.
Willow, almost completely rigid on the chair like a scared infant afraid of the big menacing world, and Xander by her side like her knight in tarnished armor; hands holding onto each other firmly yet gently, stares seeming to stick one to the other's like glue.
"I loved her so much, Xander," Willow muttered in such a low voice that it'd have made anyone else wonder if she'd even said anything. But her dark- haired friend had heard her, because of their powerful ties of friendship and the unique connection between their souls.
"I know, Wills. And I'm sure Tara knew it too," he said quietly, increasing the grip on her hand.
"I don't know if I regret what I did to her killer," Willow whispered, anger seeming to join the pain and grief in her voice. "I do regret everything else I did... all the pain I caused, the magic, the end-of-the- world stuff â€" I really do regret everything else. But sometimes, I feel like I just can't regret what I did to Warren," the red-haired girl confessed hauntingly.
Xander kept silent for a few seconds before calmly and decidedly saying, "I'm not sure about many things in my life right now, Wills. But if there's one thing I do know, it's that if I could ever get the chance to be in your place that day and erase the pain of that doubt, I'd do it in the blink of an eye."
"Would you? Would you have killed Warren?" Willow asked him in a small and haunted voice.
The young man saw the sorrow and the fear in her eyes. "It'd be so easy to say no, but-"
"It'd also be so easy to say yes," Willow finished quietly for him.
He half-snorted. "Right."
"Xander?" the redhead asked weakly, the tears finally stopping abruptly to leave space for occasional sobs and pangs of distress.
Their dark brown and ocean-green eyes met reassuringly.
"Promise me one thing?" she requested, looking so fragile at that moment Xander had to control the urge to just hug her for endless hours.
"Anything," he retorted firmly.
"Don't ever leave me," Willow whispered.
"Hey, I won't ever do that," the young man smiled, despite everything. "I promise."
The petite young woman hugged him and they just stayed like that, never noticing the sound of dripping water in the kitchen sink or the thick cold chill from a sudden wind blowing against their bodies, from the open window.
"And promise me just one more thing?" Willow asked, her voice muffled by her mouth against his large shoulder in their embrace.
"You'll get that lame ass of yours in gear, and gather up the guts to talk to Anya? Because all you've talked about for these last two months is her name," the redhead inquired, sounding incredibly and suspiciously innocent to her best friend.
"That's soundin' very 'Cordelia' of you, Wills," he grunted, and they both grinned.
"Is that your final answer?" the petite redhead demanded.
"Why? You don't think my idea of winning back a former vengeance demon's heart with some wannabe-ashtray is gonna work?" Xander said mockingly, as they pulled out of their hug but still stayed barely inches from each other.
"Honestly? No. It pretty much sucks," Willow retorted with a wild grin, her red eyes looking the perfect contradiction.
Xander chuckled, and shoved a lock of long red hair behind her ears. "You're amazing, y'know."
She kept her smile, but now it was a contemplative and sadder one somehow, her eyes averting from his and seeming to find a new spot on the floor. "Sometimes I wonder-"
"But mostly you just know," the young man cut her off and finished gently.
Willow quickly raised her glance back to his, her eyes showing fear, love, fire and hope. "I'll always mean it, you know? I love you."
He smiled. "I know, Wills. I love you too."
***
This is the end, folks.
Pretty please, review me! It'll only cost a sec to you, but a world of yays to me!