The whistle of the teapot is the only sound in the Beifong mansion. Lin considers ignoring it, her head still buried in the crook of her arms, but knows the sound will only irritate her if it continues. Mustering some strength, she stands and pads her way to her gas stove.
The smell of his skin lingers on her clothes and Lin wonders if her mother would be terribly upset if she were to burn the dress she was wearing. But Toph is dead and has no opinion anymore, so Lin decides that the next morning she will donate the dress to one of the charity shops along the poorer streets of Republic City. She remembers Tenzin telling her it was his favorite dress on her until she'd correct him and say it was her only dress. That would always make him laugh, the lines around his eyes wrinkling like smaller, deeper smiles in the folds of his skin.
Outside, there are no chirping crickets, no howling wind, no telltale crash of the ocean waves against cliff rocks and shore. There is only the faint sound of scratching branches against windowpanes, the eerie quiet of a city that has finally decided to sleep. She imagines Tenzin on his glider, his cape billowing behind him, landing on the steps of the Air Temple, perhaps seeking his dead father's guidance. Perhaps there may be a young woman by the name of Pema waiting for him with his own cup of tea, her smile warm, her hands gentle.
Lin wraps her fingers around her cup of tea and breathes deeply. She imagines that if the earth had a taste, it would taste like oolong tea, dark, rich, strong—and bitter when it steeps too long.
There is no one to prepare her tea for her but that is its own kind of comfort. She takes a sip, reveling in the bitter aftertaste as the tea slides down her throat and warms her, the cold that has settled in her bones receding. Barefoot, the world feels more familiar to her and so instead of sitting on the finest chairs the Earth Kingdom manufactures she sits cross-legged on the ground. She drinks and breathes, drinks and breathes, and she does not feel so alone anymore.
"This has nothing to do with you!" she yells at him. They have this argument almost every other week now when she returns from the Station with new cuts and bruises that she patches up haphazardly in her office. Most of the time, Tenzin must unwrap the bandages and properly disinfect the cuts she sometimes earns on the job, and most of the time, he is furious.
"You should be more careful," he admonishes. He tightens his grip on her arm when he douses a particularly nasty gash with a foul smelling liquid that makes her hiss and jerk at the sting. "I worry."
"You don't have to worry about me," she tells him, again. She has lost count of how many times she has told him this. It seems that he does not like to listen. But she knows that he understands, even if he doesn't like what she says. They both have to live up to the legacy their parents have left behind.
Tenzin lowers his eyes apologetically, gently wrapping the bandage around her arm once more. The scar will heal. It will fade away over time, perhaps only visible when it catches the light.
That night, he tells her how he feels in his sleep. She catches only a few words here and there, but she can piece them together without much difficulty. The end is near and she can no longer run away from it. She wonders if things would have been different if they had gone down the same path, if their paths had not always been so different and so lonely.
Their game of pai sho is a disaster, mostly because she has no patience (which has been her mother's most recent complaint during bending practice) and Tenzin has all the patience in the world. She thinks it's unfair that he can sit for so long in one position when she can barely stand still for three minutes. And Lin tells him that.
He is ten and barely any older than her but he says all-knowingly, "You must become one with the earth."
She scoffs at him, swatting away his tile and watching it clatter to the ground. "I am the earth, baldy."
Tenzin heaves a great sigh, which is not so great because he is puny and tiny and shorter than her. She hopes she'll always be taller than him because at least then she'd be better than him at something.
"Can we play something else?" she asks. Her voice is sweeter, a little less angry. He cocks his head a fraction of an inch, which tells her he has caught her subtle change in demeanor and that he is not so easily fooled.
Tenzin shakes his head and holds one finger up to silence her. He is more insufferable than his father when the Avatar gets wise on them. "Practice is essential."
Lin grumbles darkly, rearranging her position, tucking her knees under her until she is sitting on her heels. She entertains the thought of bending the earth under the table and throwing their tiles all over the place, but she digs her nails into her thighs and allows him to make his move.
She'll never admit it, but she likes spending time with the bald little boy. She feels warm all the way to her core when she is around him, and she imagines that this is what the earth must feel like deep, deep, deep down.
Lin and Tenzin are nearly inseparable now that she has started practicing with Avatar Aang and his only airbending son. It is at Toph's suggestion that she begin her lessons. "For fluidity," her mother tells her. She feels the beginning of an argument on her tongue but she bites it down and lets it fester in her stomach. Her mother is the greatest, most amazing woman in the whole entire world, and if Toph says airbending training is the best thing for her earthbending, Lin will do just as she is told.
And it isn't like she really minds. She likes Avatar Aang. He makes her laugh, even when he's being absolutely ludicrous. She likes Katara, who is always eager to use her as her cooking guinearooster. She likes Kya, listening to the older girl talk about boys and kissing and wearing makeup. She likes Bumi because sometimes, he likes to play in the mud with her and doesn't mind that she throws dirt at him.
But she likes Tenzin most of all. He knows all her secrets, even if she hasn't ever told him any.
At practice, she shuffles her feet and looks at the dirt, carving her name into the ground with the toe of her foot. The second character of her family name comes out a little wonky and she groans in irritation. If she were to marry Tenzin, she wouldn't even have to write her family name—
She shakes her head. Nope. No time to think about that.
When Tenzin pokes her side, one eyebrow raised at her in question, she bites her tongue to keep from blabbering something stupid. The taste of copper floods her mouth and it takes all of her will power to keep from gagging and spitting out blood.
Not that it helps, because she still manages to stutter, "I've made you chocolate."
He is stunned. "W-what?"
There is a huge, gigantic knot in her throat that she can't clear away no matter how many times she swallows. Somehow, the words still manage to slip off her tongue and out of her mouth. "For your birthday."
Tenzin clasps his hands behind his back. "Most girls don't make chocolate for boys unless it means something." He clears his throat a little, his eyes unblinking. "Does it mean something?"
"Yes," she grits out. Then shakes her head. "No." Then, "Oh, it doesn't even matter." She turns to go, embarrassment flooding her entire body. She has never felt so stupid. Frankly, she has never really felt stupid at all, because she knows she's a rather intelligent young woman of fifteen and—
He is suddenly standing before her, a small smile playing on his lips. "I'd say yes, if you were asking me."
Lin is a lot braver than she thinks. She puffs her chest out and crosses her arms. "Fine. I'm asking you."
A giant smile spreads across his face as he nods. "Okay."
During practice, every gust of wind he blasts at her is a whisper across her skin. Every dip she makes in the earth a confession. They dance around each other until Avatar Aang tells them to stop and praises them both on their great improvement.
It is only a small bump on the back of her hand. He is close enough to touch but he quickly retreats, having swallowed the courage to slips his fingers in the spaces between her fingers. They walk along the sprawling, weaving streets of Republic City with no goal in mind, nowhere to be, just two teenagers wandering the city that never sleeps.
He comes close again, determination written all over his face that she sees only because she's peaking from the corner of her eyes. Gray eyes stare straight ahead as he attempts to act as inconspicuous as possible. Of course, he isn't very good at it.
This time, when she feels his hand graze along hers, she twists to link her fingers through his. He stiffens slightly in surprise but relaxes a moment later, gripping her hand tightly.
Kya walks slightly ahead of them and talks in a loud voice while Bumi yells. The older girl pauses and looks back at them. Blue eyes widen in utter surprise and a dark finger points at the couple, "Holy Agni! They're finally together!"
Bumi whoops into the air and says, "Take that! I told you tonight would be the night. You owe me fifty yuans, sis!"
Lin does not mind that her friends have placed a bet on her. She is perfectly content to walk past them. They can argue all they want. Tenzin writes a character into her palm with his index finger and she knows it means love and it makes her feel warmer than hot chocolate in the North Pole.
"Is this how you hide from your mother?" Tenzin asks, his fingers tracing the lines in the rock that encases them. There is a hole at the top of her earthtent that allows a glimpse of the night sky, moonlight filtering through and setting Tenzin's tattoos aglow, almost like Aang's when the man enters the Avatar State. She resists the urge to follow the path of his markings as they disappear under his clothing.
"No," she answers, looking away. The moon is full tonight.
He hums in appreciation. "It's nice," he comments, leaning back against a pillow she has brought from the Beifong mansion. "Even if it's hard."
Tenzin thinks he's funny, which actually makes him funny. Lin can't help the snort that escapes her mouth. He catches it easily and grins as if her thinking he's funny is the greatest gift she can bestow upon him. His gray eyes turn into half-moon slits of laughter and she resists the urge to topple over him and kiss him until they both can't breathe.
A sudden silence falls upon them. She feels her breath hitch in her throat, his face now serious. The apple in his throat bobs as he swallows, one hand reaching out to graze her face, to run his fingers down the length of her jaw. The path leaves a trail of fire burning along her skin and she wonders if it's dangerous to love someone so much it hurts.
When he kisses her, she feels as if it were their first kiss all over again. It is soft and sweet and tastes like moon peaches. It is the nicest kiss she's ever had and she hopes that it will be like this always.
He pulls her to him. Her knees dig into his hips as her hands swim under the layers of clothes he wears. She can feel his chest under the pads of her fingers, all rippling muscle. His lips brush along her collarbone and the wind picks up, throwing her hair up in a tangle over her head. Fire is the most dangerous element, she decides with certainty, because there is no fire around them and yet she feels like she is about to burst into flames.
It is already late. The last steamboat has made its way back across Yue Bay to Republic City and there is no moon left in the black night sky, only stars that twinkle in and out of life. Lin can feel the ache in her bones from sitting too long in one position.
Tenzin clears his throat. Besides the waves that crash against the cliff, it is the only sound on Air Temple Island. It forces Lin to look up at him and the lines around his face, the small frown that pulls his lips downwards.
"Lin," he begins. Voice soft, like the air he manipulates to do his bidding. "I think—"
"I know," she interrupts. Her voice is jagged, brittle, like the earth she bends under her command. "It's time for me to go home."
He takes a step toward her and she's barefoot and she knows that he intends to wrap his arms around her and keep her there until he decides to let her go. But Lin cannot allow that. So she moves aside and holds her hands up to keep him in place.
She takes slow, deliberate steps back to the main building on the island. Politely, she approaches an Air Acolyte and asks him to help her paddle her way home on one of the small, rickety boats that are available. When she finally gets to her mansion, Tenzin is already waiting for her, sitting at his usual spot at her dining table.
"You have your goals," he says. His gray eyes are sad and the storm behind them threatens to break. "And I have mine."
She nods. "I wish you all the best with her."
Tenzin sighs. His tears fall freely now. "I love you. And I will always love you." His voice is more powerful than she ever remembers it being, even during their fights. He raises a hand to rest against her face. Lin hates herself because she can't keep from turning into his palm, from closing her eyes at his touch. "Perhaps in another life, another time. We will meet again." Then he is gone.
Lin takes a seat in his abandoned chair. His warmth still remains. She thinks about letting go for the briefest moment. Crying is not a weakness, is what she thinks in her mother's voice. But she is no longer the same twelve-year-old girl that cannot see the ground beneath her feet. She is no longer the same girl who lost her mother. There is no time for tears.
She gets up, fills a teapot with water, and sets it to boil. Her hands run along the tins of tea she keeps in a cupboard above the countertop before she stops on the one she thinks would be best.
Clarity, peace, serenity.
AN: Was listening to my iTunes on shuffle the other day when it started playing "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie and all I could think was "OMG LINZIN FEELS." But I've been doing that with about every song I hear. So sue me.
The title of this piece, "Bridge of Dreams," is taken from the last chapter of the Tale of Genji, where Ukifune decides to remain alone as a nun to escape her broken heart and the tribulations of love. Ukifune reminds me a bit of Lin in that she doesn't deserve her misfortunes, that her misery follows her wherever she goes even if she doesn't mean for it to happen. She does everything she should and it still doesn't quite work out the way she hopes.
Also, I promise I will one day upload all the upbeat, fun Linzin pieces I've written. I have about twenty small oneshots I've worked on, some complete, some still being edited. Seriously. One day I won't post angst. For real.
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