Note: This is the Alex from my main crossover, "Consuming Direct Control." Reading that one is not necessary, but that's the timeline this is set in.

Alex poked at his prey, not entirely sure he wanted to consume it. It jiggled when he touched it, and it altogether looked like the absolute least appetizing thing he'd ever seen. And he had seen a lot of really, really disturbing things. He frowned, eyeing the pink gelatinous skin skeptically.

Do I really want the genetic memories of this thing? I mean… how much useful knowledge could it possibly have?

Alex poked it again, and it shifted a little away from him, tentacles almost dragging the ground.

"This one would prefer that you stopped poking it."

Alex shuddered. And it spoke in some creepy form of third-person. If he consumed it, would it make him refer to himself in third person? More importantly, if he consumed it, would it make him pink?

He looked around, but this bridge of the Citadel was all but empty at this time of night. Only the hanar floating in front of him preaching about the Enkindlers was still here. Alex shifted his right hand into metallic claws and poked it again, wondering if it would bleed pink.

Instead, his claw sunk into its form as if it was literally made of jello, and the hanar drifted a little further away.

"This one must insist that you cease attempting to harm it."

It had no emotion. How was it even speaking? It didn't have a face. Alex jerked his claw free and watched as the small hole sealed itself again.

The hell…?

Alex growled and walked around the hanar in a tight circle, looking for some kind of weakness he might have overlooked. He really, really didn't want to have to consume this thing. But Alex Mercer had never shied from a challenge, and if he wanted to know all there was to know, he was going to have to eat the hanar whether he liked it or not.

"Perhaps this one could enlighten you with the wisdom of the Enkindlers?"

"Hell no." Alex continued his circle, wondering if those tentacles would regenerate if he cut them off. Could it keep floating without them?

"This one assures you that the knowledge of the Enkindlers is very enlightening."

Yeah? Well I'll be the judge of that once I consume you.

Alex stopped in place and sighed, folding his arms. He eyed the hanar with reluctance, and reached out for it again, pressing his palm flat against the pink side of the floating jellyfish.

"This one would like to know what you are doing."

"So would this one…" Alex muttered, grimacing as he let his tendrils crawl across the hanar, which didn't even try and float away. He plunged the tendrils into the hanar and made a face.

It took some trial and error—which the hanar made difficult by constantly asking him What are you doing to this one? as if Alex wasn't busy consuming it—before he finally dissolved the alien from the inside out and pulled it into himself, shuddering.

He felt the customary surge of memories complete with strangely proper grammar, and he stumbled and braced himself on the railing, leaning over the edge. He felt like his body was made of jello, and he gripped the rail so hard it cracked under his fingers.

Oh God. Alex gritted his teeth against the awkward feeling of trying to assimilate jelly with his biomass. This one thinks it's going to be sick.

Alex snapped his eyes open. Now he was thinking like them.

"This one knew this course of action would be a bad idea."

Shit.

A/N: This one wanted to write an extremely short one-shot about consuming a hanar. Someone gave me this idea (I am so sorry, I forgot who it was) and I decided I should scribble this down before I forgot it.