Okay guys. This is my first ever ff. I have always loved South Park and am a big fan of the Kenny x Clyde pairing. So, I decided to write about it. The story is from our favorite blonde pervert's perspective. :) The first chapter is done and uploaded. Review plz? I would really appreciate the criticism. And I do not own SP or any of the characters or whatever youre supposed to say xD Hope you enjoy it :)

Chapter 1

I sat in class on a Friday afternoon, a usual bored expression on my face as Mr. Garrison droned on and on about some shit about geometry... Or was it geography? Whatever, it's not like I ever gave a crap about what that old queer had to say. Anyway, I happened to be very tired during that time. So I slowly closed my eyes, sighing contentedly and thankful that I sat in the very back of the classroom with Clyde's slightly chubby body blocking Garrison's line of vision to me. But after awhile, I realized I couldn't fall asleep with the combination of Herbert's lecture and the rather loud air conditioner in the far right corner next to the large poster of all our past presidents, with Obama crossed out in bright red ink because Mr. Garrison said he was, and I quote: "A dumbass nigga who couldn't even control a room full of screaming three year olds without fucking shit up."

Anyway, I opened my eyes back up. As Señor Faggot was discussing the countries of Africa, I stared blankly into Clyde's brunette locks, beginning to daydream. Fantasizing about fucking various girls with D-cups, an evil smirk appeared on my face.

"Kenny? Are you okay back there?"

I quickly snapped out of it, looking up to see Mr. Garrison staring at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Um... Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" I chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of my head.

"Well, uh, you were smirking and licking your lips while staring at the back of Mr. Donovan's head. It almost looked like, well for lack of better words, you were fucking him with your eyes."

My cheeks went a crimson shade of red at those words as the entire class turned to look at me while they snickered. I bit my lip as Clyde turned to look at me, his cheeks also a dark color. I blinked, turning back to Garrison with a counter.

"Well hey, I was just practicing the look you used to give Mr. Slave before he dumped your sorry ass." The entire class widened their eyes and gasped. I shrugged like it was nothing, but from the look on my gay teacher's face, I could tell I was in deep shit.

Before I knew it, I was dragged down to Principal Victoria's office, for some reason, along with Clyde. Even though the comment by our teacher was made over ten minutes ago, the red blush was still present on his cheeks as we sat next to each other in the cold blue chairs outside the principal's small office. I stared over at the shiny lockers on the opposite wall, sighing. I wasn't aware of it, but Clyde kept sneaking looks at me. He would gape those brownish-green eyes at me for a second or two before turning back to his hands, picking at his raggedy, bitten fingernails.

After what seemed like forever, the blonde principal finally opened her door and ushered us inside with a stern look on her face.

"Fuck." I thought as I plopped down onto a wooden chair in front of her black desk. I had detention for sure.

Clyde sat next to me, twiddling his thumbs nervously like I've seen Butters do so many times before. Knowing I would fail, but deemed it worth a shot, I tried my Kenny charm on Principal Victoria to see if she would soften up a tad.

"Well hello there, pretty lady. Are those new glasses? They completely bring out your beautiful eyes." I flashed a dazzling smile, pointing a finger at her charmingly. Clyde rolled his eyes and stifled a giggle.

"Kenneth. I don't think this is the most appropriate time for that. Do you?" she glared slightly, folding her hands on top of her kitten-themed desk calendar. I knew it wouldn't work, so I shrugged and shook my head, hoping I wouldn't get in even more trouble than I already was. Suddenly Clyde spoke.

"Um... Are you giving us detentions? Because, um, my mom said if I get another one, I'll be grounded for two weeks." he bit his lip. I raised my eyebrow in slight surprise. That's the first time I heard him talk all day. He didn't even say anything to Craig, whom I knew he had a huge crush on, heck, everyone knew this. Clyde still thought it was a secret. Silly boy...

Principal Victoria cleared her throat, giving us a signal to shut up. So we did, and it stayed silent for about a minute and a half. Then she opened her mouth to speak.

"Well, incorrect. I wanted to give you a simple lunch detention and be done with it, but Mr. Garrison insisted on giving you a... different sort of punishment." I blinked a few times. What could that mean? I peered over at Clyde, who seemed somewhat happy that he didn't have a detention. She continued.

"He said he would like the both of you to write a 2,000 word essay on the positive aspects of homosexuals." I almost burst out laughing. I mean, really? Are you serious? I couldn't help but giggle silently, and I heard Clyde chuckle as well. I thought she was kidding for a second there. Either she has an excellent poker face, or she was serious.

"I'm completely serious about this boys." Well, there's my answer. I leaned back in my chair, shrugging slightly.

"Well alright. Sounds fair." I said confidently.

"Okay. Well, you both have to be responsible for your half of the composition. You both must write 1,000 words of it. No more, no less. It's due on Monday. Understand?" She raised an eyebrow questioning our comprehension. We both nodded.

"Yes ma'am." said Clyde. Oh Clyde, aren't you just a polite little bastard. I shook my head with a smile.

After a couple more minutes of useless chatter, we were shooed out of the blonde woman's office. By the time we both set foot in the hallway, the bell rang for the signal that we could go home. Heh, lucky us.

I gave Clyde a small wave, walking to my locker with my usual swagger. I grinned as girls turned to watch me walk down the hallway, just like every day. Yes, I was constantly chased by girls. Yes, I liked it very much. Yes, I've had sex with every chick in school, even Stan's girl Wendy (who was...surprisingly a freak in bed...) Anyway, despite all of this, I wasn't happy. Honestly, even though I was the most sought after boy in the whole town, my happiness meter has never really filled to the point of my content. Even though I had the opportunity to have all the love in the world from many teenage girls, something didn't seem to satisfy me about that. Like, none of them were right for me. I'm probably just very picky.. Then again, I'll fuck anything that breathes.

Anyway, as I reached my locker, I spun the combination on my lock: 14-23-8. The lock opened with a "pop". I swung the door open and looked inside my untidy storage space, shoving my textbooks into it because I had no homework besides that gay essay. Hey, it really was a "gay" essay... Heh. I made sure the books wouldn't fall out when I opened it back up, then shut the door, swinging my green and orange backpack over my shoulder. I turned around to head out the doors to get out of this torture chamber I was stopped in my tracks by a brunette.

"Hey Kenny..." Clyde nervously looked down at his sneakers. I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Hey dude... What's up?" I leaned against the wall as he continued to look at the ground, almost like he wanted avoid looking in my eyes like I was a fucking basilisk or something...

"Well, Uh... I have to go to my grandmother's house tomorrow, and I have football practice on Sunday... So today's the only free day I have to write the essay." he raised one of his calloused hands to his lips, biting down on an already rather short fingernail.

"Well, sure dude, I guess we could write it today..." I silently cursed, knowing I had to cancel my plans with Red later because of this. Clyde sort of smiled, nodding.

"Okay. Um, you can come over to my house for dinner later, and then we can write it... We're having tacos..." No surprise there.

"Sounds cool dude. What time?" I nodded slightly. He tilted his head up slightly, but not enough to look at me.

"Uh... We eat around 5:30... So can you come at 5:00 or 5:15?"

I nodded again. "Sure Clyde. Listen, I gotta get home, I'll see you later okay?" I flashed a charming McCormick smile as I walked away. He waved goodbye to me as I commuted toward the doors. I noticed something as I walked out, but thought nothing of it: He was blushing quite a crimson shade of red when I smiled at him.