Back so soon? Lol this one is gonna be LOOONG i have 2 1/2 hours to write:)

Tammi was healthy again and back in their room. Rachel wanted to ask about the girls that had been there before her, but she was waiting for the right time. Finally, one night after dinner, Rachel and Tammi were sitting on their beds and talking. Rachel finally mustered up the courage to ask.

"Tammi?" She asked, even though they had already been talking.

"Mm?"

"What happened to the girl who was in here before me?"

"Oh," Tammi straightened up, looking surprised. "She... well, she went home."

"Oh, ok. Just wondering." Rachel was sure that wasn't all there was to the story, but she would find out sooner or later.

The next morning, after breakfast, was the first group therapy session in Rachel's 5 days at the facility. The group therapist was Mindy, and she was an expert at body language. The girls sat in a circle, in large, comfy beanbag chairs. Tammi, Tiffany, Callie, Taylor, Monica, and Marie were there, plus a few others Rachel hadn't seen before.

"Who wants to start?" Mindy asked, eyes darting around the circle. Monica raised a twitchy hand.

"I got t-to m-m-meet my d-dad's new w-w-wife," She stuttered, obviously extremely nervous.

"Oh, really? Last visiting day?" Mindy asked. "What's she like?"

"B-bitch." Monica said very quietly, and everyone laughed. She smiled.

"Alrighty then. Anyone else?" Mindy asked, smiling a wide-eyed smile.

"I didn't eat breakfast this morning," Marie said proudly. She was the over-eater.

"But how? Aren't there people in the cafeteria who make sure you finish your plate?" Mindy asked, genuinely interested. The anorexics in the group leaned in, interested to see how she had sneaked past without eating. She noticed, and lowered her eyes, not saying a word. Mindy continued to stare, until she finally decided to move on.

"I found a piece of broken glass on the floor, but I gave it to my therapist instead of using it," Tiffany said, uncrossing and re-crossing her scarred arms.

"Good job, Tiffany!" Mindy said, and the group gave her an inconsistent round of applause.

"I ate fruit today," Taylor said, looking down at her bony ribs, trying to find a single scrap of fat.

"Fabulous!" Mindy gushed. Just then, a nurse walked into the room.

"Rachel Berry?" She asked. Rachel looked up. "Come with me, sweetie."

Rachel's heart raced as she followed the nurse down the colorful hallways. She hadn't done anything wrong, had she? She never got in trouble at school.

The nurse led her into the waiting room where she had first checked in. Her dads were both sitting there, holding hands. They got up and pulled her aside.

"Rachel, we have some news." Her dad said.

"You may want to sit down," The other said. Rachel sat in one of the chairs in the row behind her.

"There's no easy way to say this."

"Rachel, Finn died this morning."

It was like her whole world had come crashing down around her. She tried to process the news, tried to decipher the words in her brain, but she couldn't figure out exactly what it meant. Finn was dead. He would never hold her, kiss her touch her. He was dead because of her. Her soulmate, the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with, was gone and he would never come back.

"How?" Was the only word that could form on her lips.

"He died of his injuries. He was bleeding internally, there was nothing anyone could do," Her dad replied.

"Because of me," She said, finally finding her voice. It was because of her. She had basically pushed him out that window. He jumped because of her, and now he died because of her.

"Rachel, don't say that. Finn jumped because he had mental and emotional issues. You didn't do anything but stand up for yourself."

"Ok," She allowed herself to be hugged and released back into her room. She lay on her bed, staring at the tiled ceiling and not letting herself feel.

"Hi!" Came a cheery greeting from Tammi. Rachel continued staring, not saying a word. "What's up?" Tammi sat on the edge of Rachel's bed. All of a sudden, the fog lifted. Rachel burst into full-body wracking sobs. The gray melted and she was left with a huge emptiness inside her. Tammi held her and said nothing.

When it was time for lunch, Tammi gave Rachel one last squeeze and headed off, promising to be back. Rachel lay on her side, tears running over her face. Finally, a nurse entered the room.

"Time for lunch, hon," She said. Rachel sobbed loudly. "Oh, dear. What's wrong, baby?" The nurse sat on the edge of her bed. Rachel took a deep, shaky breath.

"My boyfriend died," She said, almost unable to got out the last word due to the shaking sobs that overcame her.

"Oh, honey." The nurse put an hand on her shoulder.

That evening, after Rachel was completely out of tears, she dragged herself down to dinner. She heard people talking, curious voices asking her where she had been at lunch, but she didn't have it in her to decipher their words or make any reply. She was so totally and emotionally spent that it took a huge amount of effort to even lift her fork. She finally knew what hell was.

That night, she had come up with a plan. She was going to kill herself. She wasn't going to bother with slitting her wrists. This time, she was going to do it right. She slipped out of bed and out the door. The night guard at the end of the hall was looking in the other direction, humming quietly.

"Sir! Excuse me, sir!" She whispered loudly, advancing toward him. The guard got up and jogged to her. "Oh, you have to help me! There's a girl over by the snack machines. I think she's trying to kill herself!" The guard bolted off, sprinting down the hall. Rachel had bought herself plenty of time; the snack machines were three hallways down, past the cafeteria.

She padded down the hallway, in a different direction than the guard. She counted the doors she passed, until finally she found what she wanted. An unmarked door, sixth from the left. She opened it and slipped inside. She reached another set of doors, and picked a random one. Any of them would lead her where she wanted to be. Finally, she reached a door with a key code. She was banking everything on a rumor this time. A friendly nurse had given her the code for the employee break room to run a quick errand. Rachel memorized the numbers for later, and there was a whisper going around that all the locks in the facility had the same five-digit code. Rachel entered the numbers, crossing her fingers hard.

Beep beep. Green lights flashed on the key pad, and there was an audible click from inside the door handle. She pulled it open and stared in awe at the beauty before her.

A shelf full of bottles of pills, next to a counter with a sink. Rachel popped open a bottle and dumped them all out on the counter by the sink. She filled the empty bottle with water and dumped it in her mouth. She popped a handful of the medication and swallowed a few times. She sat down on the floor and awaited death.

Instead of death, a wave of nausea came over her. Her mouth filled with saliva and she began to dry heave. She got up and leaned over the sink. Finally, the half-dissolved pills were forced back up through her mouth. After that came her whole dinner. She rinsed the vomit down the drain and rinsed out her mouth. Utterly defeated, she turned around to face the two night guards who had just burst in.