Author's Note: I accidentally deleted the first chapter (the prelude) and couldn't figure out how to undo it, so I've just gone and inserted the prelude into this chapter instead.

The song for the prelude is "Heaven Can Wait" by Charlotte Gainsbourg and song for the chapter and the fic as a whole is "Human Behaviour" by Bjork.

Human Behaviour (There Is No Map!)

She's sliding, she's sliding down to the depth of the world,
She's fighting, she's fighting the urge to make sand out of pearls.

Trina stared hard at the bouquet of roses sitting on her vanity, wondering why nothing could seem to go right for her. A dozen long-stemmed red roses from none other than Beck Oliver, the hottest guy in school. And she was certain it wasn't a joke this time. But she could hardly savor what should have been overwhelming joy at finally having attained him, at finally having realized one of her many dreams while so much of her life felt like it was rapidly unraveling at the seams. One way or another, there would be heartbreak. She couldn't have everything. Choices had to be made.

Her eyes darted back and forth between the roses and the drawer of her nightstand, which contained another gift- if you could call it that, though she certainly didn't think you could- from another boy. An unwanted gift. An ill-timed gift. A mistake in the shape of a plus sign on a little white stick. It wasn't exactly a problem, not anymore. But the weight of its secrecy was.

Outside there was a flash of light followed by the clap of thunder. She winced at the sound before getting to her feet and grabbing her coat. She needed to get away. She lugged two crammed suitcases down the stairs and threw them into her trunk.

And when she pulled out of her driveway in the pouring rain, the sky dark and close, all she could think about was Robbie Shapiro saying "Rejection's not so bad. After a bit, you just get used to it."

She's hiding, she's hiding on a battleship of baggage and bones,
There's thunder, there's lightning in an avalanche of faces you know...

Beck gripped the steering wheel of his car so tight his knuckles were white. He'd resolved to drive over to the Vega house an hour before but hadn't been able to put the key in the ignition. And now this torrential rain had come in, a thunder shower that few Californians would brave, and so he told himself he was waiting for it to pass. People weren't used to this sort of weather here, especially not in June. The roads were dangerous in these conditions and that was it.

Besides, what else would be stopping him?

Not something, he thought, someone is stopping me. Somehow.

He could reason that it was Trina. He wanted her to come to him.

Maybe.

Or Jade.

Who had always come to him.

Kind of.

Maybe never again.

Possibly Tori.

She wanted to fix everything, all of the time. But she had problems of her own to deal with, and people more in need of fixing than him.

Robbie. His grip tightened at the thought of the awkward boy with that God-forsaken puppet. Just hours ago he'd been sitting beside him in trigonometry, listening to him being bullied by a toy that he controlled himself! Beck almost smiled. Almost. His fingers loosened momentarily.

Maybe he should just step aside this time.

Maybe he couldn't bring himself to do that.

Heaven can wait
And hell's too far ago
Somewhere between
What you need and what you know
And they're trying to drive that escalator into the ground

Jade's green eyes were fixed intently on the darkened skyline before her. The rain hammered down against the windshield of her car, the wind tore leaves off of trees and whipped them around thoughtlessly, and every few moments cracks of lightning split the sky, like heartbreaks, followed by that booming growl of thunder.

Even though the flash preceded it, Tori couldn't help but flinch, ever so slightly, at the roll of thunder. Every damn time. And she would glance over after to see if Jade had noticed, always expecting an insult to be hurled back at her from the driver's side.

But Jade didn't say a thing, didn't acknowledge Tori was even in the car with her. And for all of the tumult around them, Jade seemed calm. The chaos outside was nothing like the inside of her head.

Tori wanted to talk, more than anything, for Jade to say something. Even an insult or curse. So she waited, patiently, refusing to be the first to speak up this time.

It was Jade's turn to talk and Tori would wait. Another flash of lightning rent the sky and Tori braced herself, waiting for thunder, and started to wonder if her heart was really racing because of the storm outside or if the storm inside was to blame.

You left your credentials in a Greyhound station
With a first aid kit and a flashlight
Going to a desert unknown

"I feel like there's a lot going on right now and no one's letting me in on it," Andre sighed, dropping down on the red sofa in the Vega family living room.

Cat Valentine sat cross-legged on the coffee table in front of him, giggling.

He rolled his eyes and glanced at the door, as if he thought doing so would cause Tori and the rest of the gang to arrive. But the door stayed shut. No one had seen Tori or Jade since lunch, there was a peculiar tension between Beck and Robbie, and even Trina seemed to be deliberately making herself scarce. And if Trina Vega was making an effort to not be noticed, something had to be up.

He had come to his friend's house after school, intending to finally get some answers about the tangled mess of whatever that their little group had dissolved into. Cat had simply bounced along after him, not seeming all that perplexed by everything. When they arrived, Holly Vega had been heading out, eyes downcast. She didn't smile at them, or even greet them at all really, just stood aside and let them in before hurrying to her car and driving off. And shortly after her, Trina rushed down the stairs and out the door, dragging two suitcases behind her.

It took a minute for Andre to realize that no one else was home, but he assumed Tori would be soon since her mother had let him inside in the first place.

"Wanna play a game?" Cat asked hopefully.

"Huh?"

"A game. Wanna play a game?"

"Not really, Lil' Red," he sighed. "Unless it involves you spilling some information."

"One time my brother spilled two gallons of pistachio ice cream on a lady in a tourist information booth..."

"Why did he have two gallons of ice cream with him?"

"It was summer."

"Yeah, but..."

"It melted."

"Obviously."

"Yeah."

Andre groaned. "Forget it."

"Why are you so grumpy?"

"Because things are wonky with everyone and I don't know why and I don't handle wonky well."

Cat chuckled. "Wonky is a silly word."

"Don't you think things have been weird?"

"Since when?"

"Well...since...I don't know. These last few months. Since Tori up and decided that she was in love with Jade? Or maybe before that even. And Jade's been...just...different. And Beck and Robbie. There's something going on there. It's like they're fighting. And Beck doesn't fight- except with Jade- and Robbie is just a pushover and I just can't figure out what would make them fight. And even Trina's been different. She's been all, you know, chill. And this is Trina Vega we're talking about here!"

Cat looked sad for a moment, but then perked up again. "It's wonky?"

"Well, yeah!"

"I maybe know why Beck and Robbie are mad at each other. But not for sure. And Tori's always been in love with Jade. And Trina..." her face fell slightly again.

"So, no one's going to tell me anything?" Andre threw his hands up. "Nope, let's just leave Andre out of it."

Cat giggled. "I think it all started at Sinjin's party on Cat's Day."

"Cat's Day? You mean, his party back in February? On Valentine's...oh...I get it."

"I think so. I mean, except for some of it. Like Jade being...different. And Tori being in love with her. And Trina's thing might have started sooner than that too."

"So really it didn't start there at all, except maybe Beck and Robbie's thing?"

"Maybe that. Maybe not. I don't really know."

"Cat!"

"Yeah?"

"What happened at Sinjin's party?"

"Weren't you there?"

"Yeah, and I remember Tori getting wasted and telling me all about Jade."

"And Beck and Jade got back together."

"Right. Which upset Tori, obviously. But I mean, other than that..."

"You want to know what happened?"

"Yes!"

"You really want to know?"

"No, I'm not interested at all," he spit out, his frustration growing.

"Oh, kaykay. I thought you did," Cat started playing with her phone.

"I was kidding, Cat," Andre groaned, although he should've known better.

"Oh. So you do want to know?"

"Yes!"

"It all started at Sinjin's party... well, except the stuff that started before that-"

Andre nodded. "Yeah, yeah. Come on already!"

Cat giggled at his impatience. "Kaykay, so, back on Cat's Day Sinjin threw a party to celebrate getting into that school he wanted..."

Chapter One: Definitely No Logic

Sinjin Van Cleef was extremely skilled in special effects. So much so that his talents were being recognized by USC in the form of a full-ride scholarship, and so much so that his general awkwardness and peculiar tendencies were overlooked by his classmates...for the most part, anyway. Four years ago, had he put out a mass invite on The Slap to fellow Hollywood Arts students for a party at his house, no one would've showed up and he would have spent the night playing DDR with his sister, Courtney, while munching away on chex mix and raw carrots (with the hopes of creating a chewed wad of brown or orange to add to the face of his locker). But by his senior year, Sinjin had earned the respect of his peers, kind of. Respect might be a strong word for it. But the point is, they responded to his invitation. Most of the senior and junior class were there, and a few sophomore's as well, such as his apprentice Berf.

He smirked to himself proudly as Courtney pressed play and they resumed their one-on-one DDR competition. After all, it's not like Sinjin actually expected most of the kids to interact with him. It was satisfying enough that they showed up at all.

If you ever get close to a human
and human behaviour
be ready be ready to get confused

The house was flooded with people. Less than an hour into the party, there were already numerous pairs sneaking off to secluded bedrooms and offices on the upper level for some alone time. On the main floor, different rooms served different crowds. Most food and drink was, naturally, in the kitchen, and so kids crowded around and chatted, filling their red plastic cups with beer and wine and punch and whatever mixed drinks some would-be afficianado made for them. The family room, with its huge flatscreen, was where Sinjin and his sister were perched, along with the crowd they'd attracted- they were really very good at the game, having spent the majority of their out-of-school time playing it with each other. The dining room served as the dance floor, with the long table pushed off to the side and the rugs pulled up, revealing an old hardwood floor. And in the front den, at the behest of one Robbie Shapiro, a game of Spin-the-Bottle and Seven Minutes in Heaven was underway.

Robbie was determined to get a kiss at this party, one way or another. Rex had laughed in his face when he'd made an off-hand comment about maybe hooking up with someone, and proceeded to spew insults at him until Robbie found himself betting his puppet he'd get some action this time. And the only way he could think to do that was with a game no one else really wanted to play. That was why most of the players came from his own group of friends: Tori, Beck, Jade, Andre, Cat, and Trina, along with four other kids (two of which were Northridge girls, of course, and two guys from Hollywood Arts). The rules were simple enough. Spin the bottle and go to the hall closet with whoever it landed on. Make out for a full seven minutes. In the meantime, the other players would continue spinning the bottle and kissing, close-lipped and chaste, whoever it landed on. With only eleven players (twelve if you counted Rex, which Robbie usually did, even though no one else would), Robbie figured his chances were pretty good that he'd at least get a kiss- even if he didn't get the makeout session.

So far, things weren't going great though.

Beck was in the closet with a Northridge girl. Cat had spun and kissed Jade (whose attention was firmly fixed on the closet door). Trina had spun and kissed Andre. Tori had spun and kissed Rex. Andre spun and kissed a Northridge girl. Robbie spun and it landed on himself, much to everyone's amusement.

Beck and the nameless Northridge girl came out of the closet, both looking quite pleased. There were some whistles and cheers, but the look in Jade's eyes quieted everyone down quickly. The green-eyed girl grabbed the bottle, out of turn and spun it hard, hoping she could land on someone to make Beck half as jealous as she was. He wasn't the jealous type though and never had been as long as she'd known him. Still, she could hope to hurt him this way.

The bottle slowly came to a stop pointing at none other than Tori Vega, whose eyes went wide. Of course. Jade rolled her eyes when everyone let out a chorus of "ooh".

"Forget the closet girls, you can do it right here," one of their classmates offered, gesturing to the center of their circle.

"Just spin it again," a Northridge girl shrugged, between obnoxiously popping her gum loudly in Tori's ear.

"Yeah, you can just re-spin," Beck offered, and Jade couldn't tell how he felt about it. It had been mere weeks since he'd had the nerve to try and make out with Vega. He'd probably wanted the bottle to land on Tori when he spun it. If anything, getting there before he did might make her feel a little better.

"The bottle has spoken!" Rex chimed in.

"I don't care. Unless Vega's afraid," Jade got to her feet and headed over to the closet, turning back to the group and going into her mock-Tori voice: "Well, I can't imagine partaking in such a scandalous endeavor!"

"I don't talk like that!" Tori snapped back, pushing herself up and following Jade to the closet. "And I'm not afraid."

"Cat, your turn," Trina said, nudging the redhead in the arm.

"Kaykay," she happily spun and it landed on Andre.

Tori shut the closet door behind her and Robbie set his PearPad's timer for seven minutes.

And Trina kissed Rex. And Beck kissed Cat. And Northridge kissed Northridge. And Andre kissed Rex. And everyone kissed everyone. Except Robbie, who, somehow, kept spinning and landing on himself.

There's definitely definitely definitely no logic
to human behaviour
but yet so, yet so irresistible

In the closet, Tori tried to appear calm and collected. She had no idea what Jade was going to do. They might make out. They might just stand there for seven minutes and tell everyone they made out. The brown-eyed girl hoped for the former. The chance of it happening was the only reason she'd agreed to play this stupid game anyway. It was the only chance she'd ever have to know what it was like to kiss Jade West, an idea she'd been entertaining since her very first day at Hollywood Arts.

It came and went, her infatuation with Jade. Or at least it seemed that way at times. Jade hated her, or professed to hate her. And she probably did at first, no matter how ridiculous and unfounded her hatred may have been. But they became friends. Sort of. Kind of friends. Tori thought as much, anyway. And even the times when Jade aggravated her to no end, she couldn't help but be completely enamored of the other girl's beauty. Her personality, however abrasive, was attractive in its own way, her honesty and integrity. Tori learned early on that there was good in her, deep down, and getting to it just took a little effort. Sometimes a lot of effort. There were walls there, but they were there for reasons, she assumed. Her attraction to Jade never waned in the slightest, though her interpretation of it did- there were times when she could chalk it all up to hormones and say she just thought Jade was really, really hot because obviously. But there were other times where she was ninety-five percent certain that she was full-on in love with the girl. And after what had transpired between them at the Platinum Music Awards not a month before, she was leaning very much to the in-love side of things.

"Vega!" Jade barked, snapping Tori out of her reverie.

"Oh, uh, hey," Tori replied dumbly. Jade's tone could chase the more romantic feelings away pretty quickly sometimes, Tori thought then, but it never changed the fact that Tori always wanted to kiss her anyway.

"Well?"

"Well what?" Tori furrowed her brow in confusion, only a moment before speaking up again. "We don't actually have to kiss or anything. I mean, it would probably be pretty awkward since-"

Jade cut her off, pushing her forcefully against the wall and crashing their lips together. Tori tried not to respond too enthusiastically. But when her legs were turning to jelly and her heart was pounding inside her head and Jade's tongue was in her mouth... well, it was just hard to be anything less than ecstatic.

And when the black-haired girl's hand slipped around to Tori's lower back, and up under her shirt, and dug her fingernails into Tori's skin...then Tori was pretty damn sure she was one hundred percent in love again.

There is no map
To human behaviour

Robbie's game of Spin the Bottle had ended before Tori and Jade were finished in the closet, with everyone feeling like the options had been spent. (Except, of course, Robbie). When his PearPad signaled that time was up, Beck got to his feet and went over to the closet door, knocking loudly.

Jade jerked away from Tori swiftly, grabbing the door knob and exiting without a word. Tori staggered out behind her, trying to regain some semblance of composure.

"I'm done with this game," Jade announced flatly, turning on her heel and leaving the room.

Everyone else nodded in agreement and started to leave as well, much to Robbie's chagrin.

Robbie and Rex got up last, with only the Vega sisters remaining in the room. Tori still trying to calm herself down, and Trina fiddling with her PearPhone.

"So, Tori," Robbie started, doing his best to sound smooth. "How's about giving ol' Robbie a little smoocheroo?"

"What?"

"Well, you made out with Jade..." he replied, as though that was an explanation.

"Jade is way hotter than you, man," Rex scoffed. "You ain't no woman's dream."

"Rex!" Robbie snapped, angry at the puppet for interrupting him. But when he turned his attention back to Tori, not only was she was gone, but her elder sister had vanished as well.

Tori slipped upstairs, unnoticed by anyone, and made her way to the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face and attempt to reign in her emotions. She didn't have much time to herself before an annoyed fist rapped on the bathroom door.

"Tori, open up!" Trina's whiny voice called.

Tori rolled her eyes, contemplated ignoring her sister, but then she opened the door anyway. "Yes?"

"This party sucks," Trina grumbled, taking a seat on the edge of the bathtub.

"It's not that bad."

"I hoped it would take my mind off everything."

"I mean, the night is still young and all that."

"But I just checked my email..."

"Do you think you can tell a lot about someone by how they kiss?"

"And I have a thick skin because I know that not everyone is going to realize that I'm the best choice for their project, even though it should be obvious."

"If they're maybe just desperate, like Robbie, or if they're actually, maybe, a little bit, into you?"

"People are stupid."

"Sometimes it's so hard to tell."

"I didn't get the Coca Cola commercial. Or the Zoloft one. And I was freaking brilliant in that one- I dressed all in black, caked on the mascara so that my tears would be extra obvious. And they didn't even want me to cry. It's an anti-depressant commercial! I need to be depressed. I cried anyway. I wailed at the sky and shouted 'why God why! And they went for someone else. Someone more 'subtle', apparently."

"And maybe I just read into things too much, you know? Or maybe I'm projecting my own desires... I don't know. Maybe sometimes a look is just a look, with nothing behind it."

"And UCLA rejected me too. That's the third college that I applied to that's done the whole 'we regret to inform you' bullshit. I don't even want to go to college. Dad just wanted me to go to 'broaden my horizons' or something. In case being famous doesn't work out. As if it wouldn't work out."

"It's hard because you can't just ask. Or maybe you can. I don't know. Things could get really awkward. And when the relationship is already kind of... tense... to begin with..."

"Ugh!" Trina got up and made for the door. "It's just so frustrating."

"I know what you mean."

"I need something to drink."

"Yeah, maybe I should get something to drink too."

When Tori returned to the party, she found Andre by the punch bowl. "So what have we got here?"

"It's fruit punch! Tastes kind of funny though," Cat giggled.

"I already told you why it tastes like that, Lil Red," Andre sighed.

"I'll take some of that then," the brown-eyed girl said.

"Really?" Andre was the night's designated driver, but only because Tori didn't have her license yet. His best friend was always too much of a good girl to partake in such things typically. "Jade did a number on you in the closet, did she?"

"What? No! What do-" Tori stammered, unable to stop the blush from creeping into her cheeks as she grabbed an empty plastic cup and filled it with the punch, forcing out a laugh. "Maybe I just want to let loose for a change."

"Uh huh," Andre nodded, not believing a word she said. "That laugh seemed insincere."

They're terribly terribly terribly moody
Oh human behaviour
Then all of a sudden turn happy
But oh to get involved in the exchange of human emotions
Is ever so ever so satisfying

After a few cups of beer and attempting to get her frustrations out through dance, an effort which temporarily cleared the dance floor and caused someone to hurl a full wine bottle at her (they missed, thankfully), Trina had decided to step outside for a breather.

On the front steps, she encountered Robbie and Rex, who were in the midst of arguing over the reasons why Robbie couldn't get a girl. Trina rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Hi, could you leave now?"

"We was here first, grunch," Rex responded. "But I'd be happy for Rob to get lost. He holds me back."

Trina let out a long, exasperated sigh before dropping down on the step beside Robbie.

"I'm waiting for my mother to pick me up," Robbie informed her.

"She said she wasn't comin', so let's go hit that Northridge Valentine's Day dance!" Rex's suggestion came across as more of an order.

"Eww, Northridge," Trina frowned. "Talentless and ugly."

"So when are you transferring?"

"Rex! I'm sorry, he didn't mean-"

"I don't care what a stupid puppet says about me."

"Except that it's what all the producers and directors and anyone who's anyone in this town will say about you too!"

"That's it, you're getting a time out."

"Aww, man, come on Rob!" Rex grumbled as Robbie shoved him into his backpack.

"Sorry about that, Trina. He's just annoyed because he wanted to go to the Northridge dance instead-"

"Do I look like I care?"

"...No..."

"Ok then."

"So...what brings you out here?"

She sighed, tilting her head to the side and glancing over at Robbie. Maybe he would be some help, actually. "You know a lot about dealing with rejection, right?"

"Um, well, I guess it's a strong suit of mine, sure," he nodded.

"I've been rejected by almost every college I applied to. And still can't get any acting jobs because my lazy agents keep quitting on me and the few auditions I book are run by stupid people who wouldn't know talent if it stood up in front of them and said 'Hey! I'm Trina Vega'."

"Acting isn't an easy business," Robbie shrugged. "Just keep trying and you'll get something."

"My parents think I need a backup plan," Trina said, her voice low.

"Well, it can't hurt," Robbie agreed.

"It does hurt, though," her voice was barely above a whisper now.

Robbie put a hand on her shoulder. "Rejection's not so bad. After a bit, you just get used to it."

She turned to face him then, shaking her head. She had no intention of getting used to it. She planned on telling him as much, but for some reason, found herself leaning in to kiss him instead, only realizing halfway through that this was Robbie "The Puppet Boy" Shapiro, but still not stopping anyway, much to her own confusion.

Inside, it didn't take long for Tori's ears to start buzzing, nor for the liquid courage to start to work its magic. She hadn't gone looking for Jade just yet, but she was resolving to do just that when she spotted the girl on the dance floor... with Beck. The two were dancing very close together, with her arms up around his neck, and his hands on the small of her back, pulling her close to him. They seemed totally entranced with one another, totally unaware of the hundred plus other people in the house. Certainly unaware of Tori's wounded gaze on them.

There's no map
And a compass wouldn't help at all
Human behaviour