Disclaimer: I own nothing

Harry was falling apart.

He knew it. He could feel himself slipping away, and as hard as he tries he really doesn't know how long he could keep it together. He knew that others around him knew it too, by their glances, their reassuring touches. Silently letting him know that they know, that they are there for him, that he's not alone.

But he felt alone. It seems everyone around him, while suffering the aftereffects of the war, sad, depressed, hurt, still felt and showed joy and happiness. They reached out to each other, thankful, grateful that the other is alive even if they are not completely well.

Harry was different however. He couldn't reach out to them. They were there and he couldn't reach out and he felt so alone as if he were drowning and everyone was standing on the shore waving at him while he tried to get help.

Ten years at the Dursleys alone with no one had beaten all capabilities of asking for help or companionship out of him. Harry always dealt with things himself, even after he started hogwarts. It took all his willpower at times to open up to his best friends, Ron and Hermione, to ask for help or reveal any part of himself to them.

The long months on the run, camping out in the most desolate of places had been hard on the trio, but even he felt their friendship grow. He felt closer to them then to anybody he's ever been to. Though that's really not saying to much. But with their budding romance that started with a passionate kiss initiated by Hermione in the most inappropriate desperate times, made him feel like a third wheel a lot of the time when they were together.

Harry sat curled in a ball on a comfortable warn out chair by the window out of the way at the Burrow, his best friend's Ron's house. It was warm and beautiful outside. The sun shining through the window warmed his pale skin and brightened his green eyes, making them gleam like jewels. Birds chirped and flew around the trees and bees buzzed in the garden. Flowers bloomed and the air smelled of their fragrance.

But Harry noticed none of this as he was trapped in his own thoughts. He saw nothing before him, not even that Ron and Hermione had left their places on the sofa near him, where they watched him closely and walked outside. They walked far enough from the window that harry sat at to see him if he moves but not so close as for him to hear their conversation.

Hermione stood near Ron with her arms folded over her chest, nibbling on her lower lip as she is prone to do when concentrating or worried. She was watching Ron as he kicked the rocks on the ground. Every few seconds she would quickly glance at the window to be sure Harry hadn't moved yet.

"Ron," She started, not sure how to begin They were both worried about Harry, and both felt helpless on what to do.

"We have to help him Hermione" He said, still not looking her. He picked up the rock he had been playing with and started examining. "he's being more broody then normal"

Hermione rolled her eyes. Trust Ron to try to downplay the situation.

"I think its more then that and you're right. But the question is what." She glanced again at the window, he was still there.

"I don't even know what the problem is. The war is over, Voldemort's dead. People are starting to live their lives again. They can walk down the street now without too much fear of being bloody blown up! How could he be so moody over that?"

"I think there's a lot more going on then him just being moody Ron" Hermione said exasperated.

"I'm sure there is but he's bringing everyone down" Hermione turned away from Ron in annoyance at his lack of feelings and understanding. Ron glanced at the window, Harry was still there staring in to space still. "I just don't know what to do"

"We should try talking to him again, maybe if he opens up..."

"Yeah right. We've tried that. Many times over the years. Harry's as likely to open up about his feelings then Malfoy dancing in a tutu in the Great Hall."

"I know that Ronald."

"We can try to get Ginny to talk to him again. Maybe she'll have better luck" Ron looked around the yard as if looking for his younger sister. He hadn't seen much of her this summer. His mother had taken to tutoring Ginny most of the day to catch her up with her studies. The past year at school had been disastrous, to say the least and Mrs. Weasley was afraid Ginny was behind and wouldn't pass her NEWTS next year.

"He's been ignoring her too. He doesn't respond to anybody. We had to quite literally drag his ass out of bed this morning in case you forgot. He's still sitting there in his nightclothes." He gestured towards the window. Hermione followed his arm and glanced at it.

Her eyes widened and her heart skipped several beats as she saw the empty window.

"Ron...he's gone, He's not there" She said panicked. Ron looked towards the window as well and sprang into action running towards the door, Hermione right behind him. He barged in the door, causing his mother to jump and drop the pot of tea she was holding in her hands.

"what in Merlin's name are you doing running in the house like that." She shouted at them as they ran past.

"Harry?" Ron shouted, ignoring his mothers protests. He looked around the tiny living room but not seeing him he started up the stairs. "Harry!"

They were up the landing by Ginny's room when she popped her head out her door with an angry expression on her face.

"Ginny, have you seen harry?" Hermione asked her, out of breath. Ginny just glared further at them.

"Yes, he's in here now please stop shouting" She spat and slammed the door in their faces. Ron took a step forward to barge into the room but Hermione grabbed his arm to hold him back.

"Can you believe that? Shouting at me and keeping my friend from me" His face was getting redder as he got angrier, no longer panicked that his friend was missing. Hermione dragged Ron back down the stairs to the living room. Mrs. Weasley was at the bottom of the stairs looking as angry and annoyed as both Ron and Ginny.

"Care to explain what is going on here?" She said in that deathly calm she seemed to have perfected over the years.

"Its nothing Mrs. Weasley, we were just looking for Harry. We had something to tell him but he's busy. Sorry about scaring you." Hermione smoothed over, still dragging Ron to the couch. Mrs. Weasley looked suspiciously at both of them, obviously not buying their excuse but left it at that and went back to the kitchen.

Hermione shoved Ron on the couch then plopped down next to him. He looked indulgent at being handled in such a matter.

"What the hell are you doing? Why are you dragging me around instead of barging in there and rescuing him?

"Rescuing him? we were just talking about getting Ginny to talk to him so I don't see why we should rescue him from her."

"I know I know" Ron said. he sat forward and put his face in hands. Hermione rubbed his back comfortably. It has been a long few months for all of them. Hardest on them being Harry's best friends.

After the war ended at the beginning of May everyone was so ecstatic and joyful, happy to survive the most horrible war in centuries. The battle at Hogwarts being the defining battle horrified the entire wizarding world.

Though threw the outrage there was also relief and joy that it was finally over, and once again Harry Potter was the Hero of the Wizarding World. In addition to nicknames such as "the boy who lived" and "the chosen one" people started calling him "the man who conquered" or some such nonsense.

Everyone wanted Harry. And surprisingly Harry obliged, well. a little. Kingsly Shacklebolt was named interim Minster of Magic. And while Harry cared little about the Ministry, or really much of the Wizarding population as a whole due to their frequent crucifying of him, he did quite like Kingsley and did him the favor of helping him.

But while the Wizarding world celebrated the victory and praised his name, those closest to him could see it was starting to take its toll. It started subtly. Harry smiled shyly, shook hands, and attended all sorts of press conferences, interviews and even to his greatest disgust, photoshoots.

But after a few weeks of if he seemed to stop trying to falsely a smile, Stopped answering so many questions, and started denying requests to see him. While unnoticed by the outside world as a whole those closest to him could tell something was off. But even they were too excited about their freedom to pay too much attention. Most believed it was just stress from the publicity being required of him as well as grief of those who have fallen. Harry had had a stressful year hunting down Horcuxs, being on the run from the world. Everyone believed he would snap out of it.

Ron and Hermione were at the beginning of their relationship. Enjoying each other and relishing in all that they had missed in the past by being stupid and could have missed if things had gone the wrong way. They were both pleased to see that Harry and Ginny had gotten back together but was slightly concerned that it was in a much toned down capacity.

They didn't have the same passion as they had during the time they were together in 6th year. They held each other, talked softly to each other, snuck kisses when they felt nobody was watching. It had felt very intimate and private and those around them would turn away or avert their eyes whenever it happened.

A month after the war ended Harry and effectively ended requests at all, and after a practical mob scene in Diagon Ally while visiting Weasleys Wizarding Wheezes had shut himself up at the Burrow. No matter how hard others pushed him to go out he wouldn't budge.

By the first week of July Harry had decided that it was time for him to move on, and he left to stay at Grimmauld Place. Ron and Hermione felt this was a bad idea. With Harry's frequent nightmares keeping him as well as them awake, as well as
plain evidence that while he is more then capable of, he does not take care of himself concerned them greatly.

He was becoming increasingly reclusive and while the 9 months on the run had reduced all their sizes, harry was the slimmest, to the point of concern. Despite all their protesting however Harry had moved out to Grimmauld, alone.

Three agonizing weeks followed his moving where they heard no word or saw any sign of Harry. They would send owls upon owls to him. The letters never came back which was a slight comfort but neither did the owls return with any response from Harry. Mrs. Weasley was beside herself with worry but kept a strong front for the others.

"If Harry wishes to be alone" She had said one sunny afternoon while serving lunch. "then we shall respect that and leave him alone." Ron, Hermione, and Ginny were talking about storming over to Grimmauld place to be sure he's alright.

Percy, who stopped by for lunch that day had fully agreed with molly, stating "Harry is more then capable of caring for himself as you very well know. You should let him be and stop bothering him" Ron's face contorted in rage at that statement. He was about to punch Percy in the face when Mrs. Weasley stepped in.

"Bothering him? We're his friends you great git. But of course you don't know anything about that do you." Ginny retorted.

"friends? is that what you call what you do Ginevra? If you listen to what they say at the Ministry you smother him and treat him like a possession"

"Percy, that's enough" Mrs. Weasley cut in, putting another handful of chips on Ron's plate. Percy quieted down and took another bite.

"And of course you don't bother to stand up for your sister do you?" Ron spat at him.

"Of course I do. My reputation is at stake just as much as hers. Though its difficult to maintain when all she wants to do is go over to his house and have another toss with him. She acts no better then a common whore." Percy knew he had gone too far with the loud clangs of silverware hitting plates.

Ginny just sat there wide eyed at Percy, shocked that he would say such a thing. Ron however was the first to recover, turning redder then he'd been in his life. He stood up, towering over Percy.

"You no good piece of sh..."

"Out!" Mrs. Weasley shouted. They all turned to look at her. Her face was contorted with rage and her body was visibly shaking slightly.

"Mother...really"

"No, out! I want you out of my house and I want you out NOW."

"I don't see what the problem is mother, I only meant.."

"I don't care what you meant. I want you out of my house now. How dare you come in here and call your sister a common whore. Why I never, in all my life...OUT!"

Percy scrambled up as fast as he could, very indigent and grabbed his stuff on his way out. Nobody had heard from Percy since but according to Mr. Weasley, Percy had shown up to work with blisters all over his face that when popped they smell of troll feet. nobody knew what had happened, and he wasn't telling, but everyone suspected George has something to do with it.

After that conversation however Mrs. Weasley also became increasingly concerned about Harry's wellbeing. But instead of marching over there at that moment to be sure he was alright, although she really had to fight the urge to, she was a mother of seven and knew a better way.

She planned a great birthday for Harry, whose birthday would be at the end of the week. While the others didn't want to wait to see him, she had convinced them to at least wait till then. It was to be a small affair, just immediate family and close friends only. The Daily Prophet had come hounding at their door requesting an invite or at least photos, only to be chased away by some fireworks that followed them down the path Ginny had let off.

The days seemed to crawl but at last the day to retrieve Harry had come. They had of course sent him several owls informing him of the party, and with no response they decided it would best to just show up at his house to get him, afraid he may just not show up at all.

It was decided that Ron and Hermione would go alone to retrieve him. They got ready to go by mid morning, held hands, and apparated to Grimmauld Place. Hermione couldn't help the excitement she felt at finally seeing Harry again. Whenever they were apart she couldn't help the tightening feeling in her stomach that something was terribly wrong. Being separated from him all this time after being together so long has been a real strain on both Ron and Hermione.

Ron practically had to hold Hermione back from running into the place and snatching up Harry. Though it did take some effort on his part as he was just as excited to see him as well.

The house was dark and dusty, looking unlived in. This fact didn't shock them as much as the sight in the drawing room. The room was a mess. Books had been strewn across the place, pages ripped, furniture toppled, the faded inky Greybull fabric wallpaper was sliced up and dangling from the wall.

There sat Harry on the floor in front of a couch, head resting on his arm on the coffee table in front of him. Or at least Ron thought it was Harry, It was hard to tell from the pile of black stringy hair sticking up from the table, his face hidden. Hermione ran over to him, tripping on objects in her way.

She was afraid to touch him once she drew near. Afraid of what she'll find. She crouched down to the floor near him and reached out short of touching him. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes at the little be of view she had of him.

"Harry?" She whispered. Ron stepped up behind her and crouched down next to her, his face grim. "Harry?" she choked out. Ron reached his hand out slowly, and gently grasped Harry's shoulder. The mop of black hair moved slight at the touch.

"Harry, mate. Its Ron." Ron said. He got down on his knees and crawled closer
to Harry. He ran his hands slowly through Harry's hair. It felt dirty, and greasy. He would bet a galleon that it hadn't been washed since he got here.
"Harry, wake up, please" Hermione sobbed. She too crawled closer. She wrapped her arms around him and he stirred. He turned his face towards them and she gasped.

The dark circles around his eyes were so dark and so big they looked like great black eyes. His face was entirely pale and extremely thin. his eyes dull and lifeless. The tears flowed freely from Hermione's eyes now as she grabbed on to harry and held him to her, holding him as tightly as she dared. Ron stood up and looked around. Trying to avoid looking at Harry, trying to hold himself together.

Harry didn't have a choice, Ron and Hermione forced him back to the Burrow where the gathered friends and family had gathered for his birthday were horrified at the sight that walked in the room. Ron had taken him immediately up to his room. While Harry had his own room there, in the form of Percy's old room, he would not let him out of his sight anymore till he was better.

Neither Ron or Hermione allowed him out of their sight for long. Panicking when he wasn't in view. Harry for the most part didn't seem to be getting better. He had gained a little bit of weight back due to being forced to sit at meals with the family, though eating little. He would sit there in his chair staring off into space rocking back and forth. It was slightly unnerving to Ron who would try to joke with Harry that he was scaring him, though it was really the truth.

Ginny took to spending as much time with him as possible, which was limited due to her mother's insistence that she tutor her to keep her up in school. Her time with Harry was mostly spent just sitting there, either holding his hand or sitting on the couch stroking his hair while he lay his head on her lap while she reads, Ron and Hermione of course always near.

Harry hadn't said a word since they brought him back. He was always a silent character but it was unnerving at times when they talked to him. He didn't even acknowledge they were talking to him, or even around in general. Everyone was at a loss of what to do. There had been talk about putting him in St. Mungos to get help, but it was always quickly vetoed.

"I just don't know what to do" Ron said helplessly, sitting back on the sofa, breaking Hermione out of her thoughts. She pulled her hand out from behind him and leaned in close to him, resting her head on his chest.

"Me neither, but we are going to loose him if we don't try something soon." She said softly. They sat there like that for a while, thinking of their friend Harry.

TBC