Disclaimer: If the books where mine I would've chased the filmmakers around till they gave Remmy and Tonksy a proper storyline!

Remus Lupin was a very patient man. He had to put up, after all, with a hormone ridden Sirius Black and a lovesick James Potter for the best portion of his life. And let's not forget the insults from his bosses when they realise what he is. But today the bloody wolf side won't just shut the bloody fuck up (and that's a mild description). Oh no, Moony has decided it is a very good day to bring forward the 'pressing' issue of his mating ritual (please note the sarcasm).

Remus, we need a mate. A mate is essential to our lives. I have a list with potential interests, so stop being noble and just pick one. Moony is growing impatient.

What in Merlin's name, are you talking about you bloody canine? Remus is now growing agitated. Talking about a news flash. Sirius notices and, being the considerate helpful friend he is (again note the sarcasm), he runs out of the room and goes to hide with Buckbeak.

I'm talking about mates you impossible idiot. It's a wonder you passed all your N.E.W.T.S with top marks with that pea brain you possess. Now Moony is the one being sarcastic. Honestly, what was with this whole mate thingy? Why had the wolf even brought it up? They were in the middle of a bloody war and Moony was obsessing over carnal pleasure.

That's because you and your nobleness had turned us into bloody hermits. Even Sirius got some and he is a bloody fugitive! Go on and pick a girl! Come on, I can even settle in for a man! Now Moony is getting desperate.

What about a dog? I think that will solve your little predicament. But I warn you, if I wake up to find said dog raped or mutilated I'll end this. Remus lets out a defeated sigh.

Well, you could always ask Sirius. He is a DOG after all. Moony grins a mischievous canine smile as Remus tries to suppress a shiver.

No, for the last time, leave Sirius ALONE with his BIRDS. Alternatives? Remus is begging Moony to stop thinking about Remus and Sirius doing the deed, because, for one, he really needs his sleep and recurring sex dreams (more like nightmares), with him and Sirius as co-stars were not appreciated.

Oh come on you know you love it. If Lily were alive, I would have proposed her as a potential mate too... Moony trails off suggestively and does the wolf equivalent of wiggling eyebrows. Remus would have snorted at the image, if the image of James sporking his eyes out for pulling a move on his beloved flower, as Snape cackled in the background while boiling oil to drop him in, didn't pop out of nowhere. Man, he has a wild imagination.

Then the door snaps closed and a loud THUMP brings him out of his musings. He raises his head only to see the one and only Nymphadora Tonks sprawled spread-eagle style on the floor.

"Hey Remus!" She says cheerfully.

What about her? You seem to like her well enough. Love her even. Tsk tsk, what have I said about falling in love ickle Remmy? Ugh, this is getting ridiculous. Why the bloody wolf can't just stop getting involved with his personal life?

Because my dearest Remmy, it is OUR personal life, so it definitely concerns me. Now shut up and snog the girl senseless.

And really, who is Remus to deny himself anything? And Nymphadora-it's Tonks!- seemed all to happy to comply. So snog her, he did.

Remus Lupin was a very patient man. But he was still a man.

Author's note:And that's what happens when you have sugar-high at three in the morning. Just a silly little oneshot with one of my favourite pairings(if you saw any Wolfstar slash in my favourites, I CAN EXPLAIN!)

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