My truck groaned and grunted as my foot pressed further on the gas pedal. Rain pounded against all sides of the cab, making me jump at the loud noise. Tears streamed down my face like raindrops trickling down the windows. My fist clenched around the steering wheel, my mind racing. The road curved and twisted as I picked up speed.

The anger I had standing in front of Charlie has vanished, new pain now resided in my heart. Acceptance from Charlie would be near impossible to achieve at this point. He would never see Paul as he once saw Jacob.

Jake.

The tears fell rapidly. Everything was falling apart, my life crumbling before my very eyes. If Jake were here he'd say I was being melodramatic, expanding everything in my mind to create a fuss. He always told me I wore my heart on my sleeve and let my emotions take the best of me in the worst of situations. I guess I had never been one to deal with any problems I had encountered that would cause me to go mentally insane with misery.

The truck's tires squealed and protested against the road beneath it, not receiving enough friction. The cab swerved to the left before I finally gained control once again.

My body quivered and shook with force. Whether it was the tears, or the cold, or hell even the near accident that almost came to be, I didn't know. All I knew was that it wouldn't stop.

I could finally see light in the near distance, a porch light that hopefully emanated a welcoming.

The truck door slammed shut, and for a moment I just stood there in the pouring rain, staring at the freshly white painted door. There was slight vision of light from inside which was hopefully a good sign.

Movement by the window drew my attention, my feet moving on their own accord up the porch steps. Before I could even knock the door flew open.

"Bella?"

"I didn't know where else to go," I sobbed, my lip quivering as I ran a hand through my hair. "I didn't want to run to Paul." Rain slid down my face, blending with the tears that were being shed. My clothes were already soaked through and my hair was dripping onto the ground.

"Of course Bella," Emily replied with worry stricken features. She quickly ushered me inside, ordering Sam to rush into their room for some dry clothes. Sam came back downstairs with a pair of sweatpants and a baggy tank top which he handed to Emily as she wrung out my hair over the sink. "Poor girl," she muttered, "Thrown out in the cold rain and at this time of night! Charlie should be ashamed of himself."

Through the shivers I piped up, "He didn't kick me out. He gave me an ultimatum. If I stayed there I couldn't see Paul anymore, and I assume since I left he doesn't want to see me."

Sam huffed, his chest puffed out, his face set in stone. "What did Paul do?" he asked.

"Charlie heard about the cliff diving, and then it didn't help that I was extremely late getting home," I stuttered slightly.

Sam nodded and glanced at Emily for a brief second before giving a slight nod. I looked up to see Emily quickly look away from him as she handed me the clothes.

"There's towels in the bathroom down the hall sweetie. Go dry off and I'll make some hot cocoa to warm you up, okay?" Emily smiled, a hand on my shoulder, her maternal instincts shining through. I nodded and rushed down the hall to get out of the clothes that seemed to weigh a ton.

The rest of the night was spent cuddled up on Sam's LazyBoy under a mountain of blankets, drinking hot chocolate, while Emily and Sam snuggled up on the sofa, a single blanket covering the wolf girl. After drinking two cups of the warm liquid, I placed the cup on the floor and pulled the blankets closer around myself. My eyes started to droop as I heard Emily's quiet giggles and Sam's deep voice, the two reminiscing their first meeting.

"Bella?" I heard Emily's distant voice. "Bella, sweetie, I think you're falling asleep. Do you want to go lay down?"

All I could do was nod, my body worn out from the day's events. I could hear the two chuckle as large, warm, hands slid underneath my legs and back, lifting me from my spot. I didn't even open my eyes as I was carried to bed.

Large church bells chime vigorously. My feet pound against the woods' terrain, racing to save him. Branches scrape against my paper thin skin. I could feel blood rush down my arms and legs, but I continued on not being able to stop. I could feel my heart in my throat, my stomach in knots.

I had to get to him. I had to.

"Bella," I heard him moan in yearning, his last breath coming too soon.

I could see the clearing now, the purple flowers, the sunlight streaming through the surrounding trees. Fire red hair flashed in the shadows along with a devilish smile.

My heart froze in fear. Not because I knew Victoria lay beyond the trees, waiting in anticipation to make her move to kill me, but because there he was on the meadow floor, his body twisted in a vision of agony. I was close enough to watch as his eyes rolled to the back of his head, his body shaking uncontrollably.

Tears sprung to my eyes, my hands curled into tight fists, a lump formed in the back of my throat. I tore my eyes away from his beautiful torture back to look into the red eyes of Victoria, remaining in the same place. She watched me with amusement, knowing this wasn't just tearing my heart to pieces, but my soul as well.

My jaw locked in fury right before I dashed toward his convulsing body. I fell to my knees, tears sprung to my eyes, a scream bubbling in the back of my throat. "No!" I shouted. "No, no, no! Stop! Please, stop!" I begged.

The torture in his mind continued, taking over him like a puppet. I could almost feel the pain like an acid slowly making it's way through my veins. My fists pounded against the dirt repeatedly as fresh pain now consumed myself. I convulsed onto my back, my eyes pinched shut in absolute agony.

I couldn't hold the screams back any longer. They ran up my throat and flew from my mouth.

"You deserve this, you little leech," Victoria sneered, "and I'm going to enjoy every second of it." I could feel the words smack against my face.

My heart beat erratically, anticipating the kill that was to be expected. Instead my hand was encased with another all too familiar. My eyes opened for the briefest of seconds to look at him laying next to me. His eyes were cold and distant, but a small smile overtook his face as he now lay still beside me.

"Goodbye." He whispered as his hand fell limp, any light left in his eyes vanished.

"No!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. The word repeated itself again and again and again, making my throat burn and my mouth fill with the taste of blood.

"Bella! Bella wake up! It's just a dream! You're going to wake Sam and Emily!" a male voice hushed me soothingly.

I awoke with a jump, my body shaking, my face damp with fresh tears. My throat burned, my eyes almost swollen shut.

It was just a dream. It was just a dream. Just a dream.

I looked next to me to find Paul laying beside me, worry and fear written across his face. "Bella are you okay? It was just a dream. You're fine."

"Paul?" I questioned, taken aback. "When did you get here? How did you know I was here?"

Paul relaxed slightly, his shoulders slumped. His eyes looked over me once before he leaned back into the bed and pulled me closer toward him. "Sam called me when you got here. He told me what happened. Bella. . .maybe your father's right, maybe you should stay away from me. I want you, I need you, but I don't want to hurt you. That's the last thing I would ever dream of doing."

I bit my lower lip and shook my head. "Don't say that. Charlie is wrong. Paul, you're teaching me how to live, not die. I've never felt more free in my entire life."

"Maybe that's wrong. I just know I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you."

I kissed him lightly, leaning my forehead against his. "You could never hurt me."

Paul shook his head and pulled away. "Bella-"

"No! That's enough," I screeched out, my voice losing it's force.

Paul glanced over at me. "Those screams really affected your throat. Let me go get you some water."

"No, I'm fine. Can we just get some sleep and deal with all of this tomorrow?" I asked, just wanting to escape the arguments.

He sighed but agreed, wrapping both his arms around me, pulling me as close as humanly possible. We both were silent, the only sound was our breathing. My eyes fell, sleep about to take over when Paul asked, "Bella. . .what was your dream about?"

My eyes flew open and my lip was attacked by my teeth. "I-I don't remember," I forced out, hoping to sound convincing.

He kissed my temple. "Get some sleep Bella."

The truth was though, I remembered it vividly, almost like a recent memory. The most horrifying part kept replaying itself in my mind, the light in his eyes fading while I laid next to him helpless; watching Edward die before my very eyes while Victoria's venom ran through my veins.

My arms wrapped around my one leg, my chin resting on my kneecap, the other draped almost to the floor, skimming the hardwood slightly as I moved it back and forth. The dream left my mind to wander back to him, not getting any sleep the rest of that night unlike Paul who draped over me like a suffocating heating blanket. How could I still be thinking of the past when hundreds of girls would gladly take my place in the present?

Memories blew through my mind like wind through the dying leaves that clutched tightly to their branches. Each one after the other that insisted on making itself present. His amber colored eyes, his dazzling half smile, his cold skin. . . Each part of him that I had at one point never been able to resist.

A bite of pancakes smacked the side of my face. I turned to find Sam, Emily, and Paul watching me. "Anyone in there Bells?" Paul joked. "I've been saying your name for the past five minutes."

"Oh, uh, sorry. I was just-"

"Distracted?" He piped up. Sam and Emily went back to eating their breakfast as Paul watched me slightly amused. He moved his chair around the table to sit in front of me. One hand went to rest on my thigh. "What're you thinking about beautiful?"

My eyes fluttered to the floor as I shook my head slightly, trying to avoid conversation.

"Is it about Charlie? Maybe you should go talk to him. Try to work things out," he suggested.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see. "I'm not going to apologize for anything. What's done is done and he needs to learn how to live with it."

I glanced back up at him. His eyes filled with nothing but commitment, his touch nothing but love. Was it wrong that it made my stomach churn? The heat radiating off him was enough to send me reeling backwards.

"I'm gonna go get some fresh air. I'll be back later, okay?" I pushed my chair back, Paul's hand falling beside him. His brow pulled together in confusion.

"Are you okay? I'll come with you."

I bit my lip while running a hand through my hair. "That's okay. Really. I just need some time to myself, okay?"

He nodded as he himself pushed back his own chair and walked off down the hall.

"We'll see you when you get back sweetie," Emily said with an encouraging smile. I nodded and gave her my most sincere smile I could muster before looking down the dark hall where Paul had disappeared to. "He'll be fine," she added. I looked back at her and nodded once more before heading out to my truck.

The drive was longer than I remembered. The foliage seemed almost dead the closer I became. Dead leaves crunched under my feet, crumbling into dust. I could see the clearing now, just as I could almost see his face in front of me.

My heart rate picked up speed, my legs moving faster with every step.

Finally the trees parted and my feet touched the meadow floor. A pain stabbed my heart, tears pricked my eyes.

No sunlight streamed through the clouds, no flowers loitered the ground. There wasn't any green grass or birds chirping excitedly to one another. No, this time the field was dead and yellow. A harsh wind blew from the east, making me wrap my jacket tighter around myself. The trees were bare and so was my heart.

Hope exhaled from my mind just like air from a balloon.

I fell to my knees and curled up into a ball. Soon my cries faltered and I just lay there in the mud, in the dead part of my heaven.