Author's note: I apologize for my absence and lack of posts in the previous years. I do tend to actively participate and update many of my stories this summer. I do apologize once again and I am sincerely grateful for the readers who have been patiently waiting. These past years my interests were diverted and I was too greatly focused on educational aspects to continue my stories. However I do wish to continue and in all honesty, I never forgot about my stories, it was just the lack of ideas which forced me to take a break from them. Unfortunately even after settling on the plot, I was unable to return to them. Nevertheless my only concern is after rereading my stories, it has occurred to me that my writing style might have changed. I hope the readers can still enjoy the stories despite the differences.

Soulless

Chapter 17: If only forgetting was that easy

Previously: Harry entered Snape's quarters. His heartbeat getting faster as he spotted Snape who was in a plain white shirt standing in front of the fire.

"You wouldn't care if I died would you?"

Harry didn't get time to respond because when Snape turned around, Harry felt his heart shatter. The echo resonated into his ears and the silence that followed afterwards was just a signal for the storm that would be coming.

Continuation:

Snape's face was pale and looked almost sickening. With both hands he clutched the adoption papers…his hands, they were shaking.

Harry swallowed, his gaze resting on the adoption papers.

Harry began to wonder if Snape was going to send him back to the Dursleys...no Snape wouldn't do that. Would he?

Did you leave him much of an option? His mind traitorously whispered back.

He began to feel nauseous and his head throbbed.

Snape really cared for him, he knew that for sure. However Harry could not deny that Snape was entitled to his own life and if he was upset with Harry, he had a right to discard him from his life.

Harry shuddered inwardly and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Mr. Potter," the voice cut through his thoughts and the first thing Harry noticed was the distinct variation from "Harry" to "Potter" again. While he identified the obvious, he did not fail to notice that the tone itself was formal, strict, and unusually cold. Colder than what Snape first used with him; while it did the lack the usual venom, it now was a stranger to Harry. Harry had become used to to Snape conversing affectionately with him, had become accustomed to the soft-spoken sincere words and promises Snape offered. He was no longer able to view Snape in the same negative perspective as before. Even when he was hiding from Snape, he could only recall the good times they've spent together, never their past disagreements and disputes. He would flip through the countless pages of their album, staring at each page intently, reminiscing and reliving each captivating memory before forcing himself to move on. It occurred on daily-basis and each day it would make the wound engraved on his mind reach new depths.

"Mr. Potter, It seems that you no longer desire for me to have authoritative power as a guardian over you. Taking your wishes into consideration, I have decided to give your custody over to Professor McGonagall. She will tend to your every basic need and see that all of your requirements are met. Likewise, over the summer she will shelter you in her own residence. A small house off the coast of England in a festive town-I'm sure you will find it of interest and more than fulfilling." Snape was staring intently at Harry all while he said it.

Harry did not expect Snape to exchange pleasantries with him when he arrived but he was not prepared for such exclusion either. Only now he could comprehend the extent of the impairment he had caused. The man that was revealed to him was the real Severus Snape, it was the human unwillingly kept behind a hateful demeanor. The façade of the professor were the curtains shadowing a complex and compassionate being whose capacity to love knew no ends. Yet in his quest to seek revenge, he had destroyed that man which once existed. Harry felt revolted with himself. He wanted to express his remorse and grief in words but found that he couldn't. He felt paralyzed, all his attempts to speak were in vain. There were no words that he knew which could state what he was feeling. In another feeble attempt, he parted his lips slightly yet his thoughts stubbornly refused to orientate into a verbal form. He did not want Snape to view his silent as acceptance to the situation no that was the last thing he wanted. However life was never reasonable and to his misfortune, that is exactly what Snape assumed.

The Professor had quietly awaited for a response, giving enough time for Harry to process the situation. He was waiting for him to refuse the offer and to say that he wished to stay with him. Snape hoped, even after today's mishap that Harry would desire otherwise however to no avail. After the eternal silence, seeing no choice and receiving no response of protest, Snape put the adoption papers on the wooden table by the fireplace. He gestured Harry to take the papers but Harry remained where he was, rooted to the spot. Inhaling deeply, the professor said in a softer tone, "If you wish otherwise or you are not satisfied with the decision, immediately consult me." Harry remained engrained and before he could process his muddled thought, Snape moved past him and exited his quarters. Harry finally said a small, "Wait," but the words were barely above a whisper. Snape did not hear it, however Harry's ears ringed of his own voice. What had he done? He looked at the papers and with trembling hands grasped the papers by the edge. Rereading it numerous times before he crumpled it up and threw it into the fire. Glaring at the fire as if it had insulted him, he stormed out of the room, however his own knees felt weak to him.

…

Upon reaching the Gryffindor common room, he patiently waited for Hermione and Ron to return. All the while his mind reflected on the previous events.

Harry was surprised and yet touched knowing that Snape did not send him back to the Dursleys. After all he had done to Snape, how he insulted him in his own classroom, how he avoided him, ignored his letters, his pleas, and rejected him. He had humiliated Professor Snape, directly and indirectly, he was not worthy of the kindness Snape showed to him. Snape cared for him, it did not matter if he believed Draco over him for his judgment was justified. He had known Draco for much longer. He knew Snape would have eventually understood his perception and the truth of the situation if he waited long enough, yet he didn't. Oh why couldn't he forgive Snape? What had made him so dead inside that such simple humane gestures were far beyond him now?

Was forgiveness that hard? A man who felt regretful, who cared for him, apologized to him so many times, who wasted his days and nights protecting him, who saved him on more than one occasion…did that man not deserve forgiveness.

The scene with Professor McGonagall replayed in his head. The professor had told him that he should forgive Snape, yet he remained stubborn. His pride and ego remained bruised and unable to forgive. Professor McGonagall had warned him that his actions might cause him to lose another father figure in his life yet he remained ignorant.

Harry inhaled deeply. He did not deserve Snape. His whirlwind of anger, ego, and pride were swallowed by the ethical beliefs to forgive, apologize, and foremost love.

…

Harry was lost in his own battle of repentance when Ron and Hermione along with the other Gryffindors entered Gryffindor's common room. Many of them went to their dormitories Hermione and Ron sat on either side of him. The sofa dipped a little before the two friends adjusted themselves. Ron was the first to disturb the silence.

"So how did it go? Did you tell him?

"No." Harry responded his head still down.

"Why" Hermione asked though Harry could trace the slight bits of annoyance and disappointment in her voice.

Harry stated the whole sequence of events, every bit of it, his inability to speak, Snape's departure, and him throwing the papers into the fire.

Hermione listened keenly before face palming herself when Harry told her he couldn't speak. While Hermione was busy analyzing the story and asking questions every now and then, Ron had the most unusual expression during the entire course of the story, both his eyebrows arched and his mouth partly open.

When Harry finished his story he looked at them, actually looked at them. He patiently waited for them to speak and strangely it was again Ron who spoke first.

"So what are you waiting for?"

"What?" Harry said thoroughly confused.

"Snape said that if you don't like the decision he made, you should tell him." Ron paused before continuing, "And as far as I know you absolutely despise the decision so as I was saying, you should go tell him."

Hermione who had her head in her hands finally spoke, "Burning the adoption papers was the only bloody thing you did right! We sent you all ready and prepared and you couldn't say anything. We rehearsed what you were going to say for crying out loud! Do you have any idea how hurt Professor Snape must be? At least you could've given him a sign that you were not content with his decision. Expressed your discontentment in some way? You just stood there like a bumbling fool."

Ron tried to calm her down but Hermione brushed past aside and paced around the room frantically before settling down again.

"I'm sorry Harry but there is nothing left for me to say. You have to tell him how you feel, that is the only reasonable option left. Else you both will continue living in these misunderstandings and regrets." Hermione said as she sat down again.

Harry who was already feeling beyond guilty simply nodded and he got up with the full intentions of heading towards the dungeons.

"It's almost midnight. I think you should talk to him tomorrow." Ron said as he got up too.

While his words were barely heard, Harry understood them nonetheless and he took a deep breath and looked back, from Ron to Hermione and they all nodded their heads in agreement. Bidding their farewells and after heading towards their respective dormitories, they settled into bed. However Harry spent the whole night wide awake, even as the stars faded from the ash sky and bathed the canvas with the sun.

…

Snape returned to his quarters after midnight. His quarters were dimly lit and the fire had burned out. He stopped in front of the wooden table and he felt a sinking feeling at the pit of his stomach. The papers were gone, it was becoming hard for him to breath. He fought back the tears however his eyes did well up. Angrily he brushed his tears aside and inwardly scowled himself for showing weakness. Exhaustingly he headed towards his bedroom blowing out the last of the candles on his way.

The darkness must have smiled, as it smoothly enveloped the burning remnants of the papers in its shadows, the vanquished light must have cried with the middle-aged man but the darkness slept peacefully as Snape tossed around all night.

…

Morning arrived with rays of light basking Hogwarts in its glow. Everyone seemed unusually happy and cheerful, an influence of the weather perhaps. However a certain potions master was glaring at every passing students and handing out detentions to every dim-witted student he would come across.

At the breakfast table, Harry looked around for Snape but he was nowhere to be found. Hermione must have realized because she patted his shoulders reassuringly. After they all had settled down and were mid-way through finishing their breakfast, Snape made an entrance. No one took heed but the angry vibes radiating off Snape caused shivers to run down every student's spine with a 5 foot radius of him. Snape took his position with the rest of the staff and Harry for the most part kept his head down, too embarrassed and ashamed to even look at Snape.

The little game they were previously playing, hurting each other was over. Harry's relief was short-lived though, he knew that he still had to apologize to Snape and sort out the mess he made.

That day Harry attended all his classes, however because it was Thursday, he had double potions. It was his third class of the day and he arrived a few minutes early. To his disappointment Snape was nowhere to be seen, Harry waited but soon the rest of the students began to arrive. When all the class was present and seated, Snape arrived in his typical attire however he seemed more aggravated than usual.

He wrote the brewing instructions for the sleeping draught on the board.

Add 4 sprigs of Lavender to the mortar

Add 2 measures of Standard Ingredient to the mortar

Crush into a creamy paste using the pestle

Add 2 blobs of Flobberworm Mucus to your cauldron

Add 2 measures of Standard Ingredient to your cauldron

Gently heat for 30 seconds

Add 3 measures of the crushed mixture to your cauldron

Wave your wand

Leave to brew and return in 70 minutes (time depends on cauldron)

Add 2 measures of Standard Ingredient to your cauldron

Heat on a high temperature for 1 minute

Add 4 Valerian Sprigs to your cauldron

Stir 7 times, clockwise

Wave your wand to complete the potion[2]

"You may also find these instructions in your books." Snape stated with his back to the classroom. Harry did not need to open the book. His new powers allowed him to understand and memorize the steps before everyone else did. His powers gave him hand-down experiences, which meant in his mind he had experienced making them before he actually made them in reality, but he wasn't complaining.

"After you are done with the first half, place your potion on the trolley and you can research the uses of flobberworm mucus in potions. The research will aid you in writing the final essay which I will give to you tomorrow." Snape quickly scanned the classroom before his eyes stopped at a certain individual. Harry followed his gaze and realized that Snape was looking at Draco. Harry felt slightly jealous as Snape nodded at Draco supportively.

Wanting desperately to get Snape's approval, Harry immediately got to work. He quickly gathered the valerian sprigs, flobberworm mucus, lavender, and standard ingredient. Returning to his table, he wasted no time. He realized that if he wanted to finish early and with exceeding quality and efficiency, he would need to brew in a copper cauldron. That would cut off at least 18 minutes off his overall time because with a standard 2 pewter cauldron, one would have to wait for 70 minutes before returning to it whereas in a copper cauldron, one would only have to wait 52 minutes. Unfortunately the disadvantage of this cauldron was its difficulty level was hard in comparison to the pewter cauldron which was easy. Yet Harry wanted to impress Snape so he continued with his original plan.

Harry took out his own copper cauldron which he kept in his left pocket especially for this purpose. He wanted to buy himself time so he could talk to Snape after class. Keeping the idea in mind, Harry began to work relentlessly, he soon he began to perspire as the heat from the cauldron added to the increasing change of the overall temperature. Subsequently waving his wand for the completion of the first half, Harry looked around. Again no one else was near finishing, Hermione was busy making the creamy paste but to Harry's surprise Draco was ahead of her. He was adding the standard ingredient to his cauldron and Harry noticed, it too was a copper cauldron.

Harry knew the Malfoys were wealthy and thus he did not find it surprising that Draco had this particular type of cauldron. The Malfoys would often boast and flaunt their wealth and status in disguise of their expensive possessions and Draco was no exception.

Nevertheless Harry wanted to finish before Draco, he couldn't explain these feelings but he did not want Draco to show it to Snape before he did. He looked back to his own potion and then to Snape. Snape was still staring at Draco favorably and Harry began to feel the blood boil in him. He quickly began to research the uses of flobberworm mucus in potions, he had a few uses of his own which he wrote but they were not mentioned in any of the books. He finished his long list exactly 40 minutes after. He glanced at his wristwatch which Hermione had gifted him, 12 minutes left he thought. He looked at Draco again who was still researching. He quickly took a glance at Snape who was at his desk grading papers. Snape had not looked at him all throughout potions, it was beginning to irk him.

"Did Snape really move on?" Harry thought to himself.

Harry rechecked the uses he came up with, making sure he did not leave out any. After the 52 minutes ended, he hurriedly returned to his potion and began to add the rest of the ingredients with precision and great accuracy. Finally he waved his wand to complete the potion. In satisfactory he stared at it before poring the contents into a clear vial. The heat had become unbearable in the room and tiredly Harry wiped the newly formed beads of sweat with his sleeve.

"BOOOM!"

Harry turned around only to find that Draco's cauldron had exploded. The explosion had caused a few other cauldrons to explode altogether. Harry immediately went in front of the exploding cauldrons, telling the rest of the students to get behind him.

"Protego duo!" he yelled. A shield was conjured and the flying cauldrons and substances bounced off the shield and hit the opposite wall and windows. While Harry maintained the shield. Draco had took refuge underneath the table and this prevented the potion to physically touch him however the cauldrons and other objects were flying rapidly and it was hard to tell if any had actually hit him.

As Harry was in the process of removing his shield, Snape swiftly arrived at the scene. He muttered a quick "scourgify" under his breath and soon the liquid vanished off the tables. Turning around and slightly annoyed Snape asked Draco and all the other students if they were in any way injured. Everyone muttered a drawn out "No Professor." Snape then resumed to clean the walls and cauldrons wordlessly. When noticing that the students were still gathered behind Harry, he gestured for them to get back to their seats.

"Get back to your seats and finish your potions," he snapped seeing that no one comprehended his signal. Everyone slowly got back to work but Harry was livid. If any student was to blow up a cauldron, Snape would deduct 5 points and make them clean the cauldrons but it seemed that the potions master had let his dear godson off the hook. Harry went to his own table and picked up the vial he had poured the sleeping draught in, instead of handing it in, he simply stared at it.

Snape didn't even thank him for protecting the rest of the students Harry thought angrily.

Harry was so furious that he was about to throw his potion into the trash when he felt pale fingers take it from his hands. He turned around and it was then when he realized that Snape was behind him all this time.

"It seems you are done Mr. Potter. Next time if you are, do not stare at it like a fool, instead put it in the trolley." Harry glared at him. Snape arched his left eyebrow quite amused at Harry's glare but he did not walk away.

Then something else caught Snape's eye, it was the parchment on which Harry wrote the uses of the flobberworm mucus. He snatched the paper from the desk, simultaneously Harry clutched it from the opposite end. "Mr. Potter, if I may?" It wasn't a request, Harry knew that much. He loosened his grip and Snape pried it from his hands.

"Amazing! Bloody Amazing! I worked so hard on the potion, all for him and he cannot even say a simple "good job" to me. UGH! Oh if Draco did the same thing, he would show it to all the class, saying how perfect it is and how intelligent Draco is. Bloody hell! He's probably going to make me redo the entire research paper"

"Not bad, Mr. Potter" Snape's words came as a shock to Harry. Harry continued to stare at the desk, thinking that it was just his mind playing games with him.

Maybe he's saying that to someone else?

Wait did he say Mr. Potter

Nah

Harry shook his head in denial and ruffled his hair uncomfortably.

Snape turned around to the classroom, "Everyone, it seems that Mr. Potter for once has delivered an exceedingly well-done potion." Snape showed the potion to the entire class, analyzing the contents addressing how it was the right color and excelled in quality. Harry who was still seated with his back to the class had now closed his eyes feeling the heat rise up to his cheeks. He was still in disbelief and yet so excited and pleased at the same time.

"Not only that, Mr. Potter also wrote a few excellent uses of the flobberworm mucus that were not mentioned in your books but are equally important." Snape handed the parchment to one student and signaled him to pass it down so the rest of the students could see it.

Harry's heart was beating wildly, he couldn't believe that Snape had actually done that. A small smile now played at Harry's lips. He finally turned to face the class before he realized that the entire class was staggered, all the students had their eyes wide open and their jaws hanging except Hermione and Ron who both had identical smiles plastered to their face. Harry then looked at Snape only to find him looking back, "5 points to Gryffindor." When Snape said those words, Harry's own mouth fell open. His mind went completely blank and he stared at Snape blankly.

Snape was very pleased, for a few minutes Snape had forgotten that this was Harry Potter he was dealing with. He was so impressed with the quality of the potion and the efficient research that he forgot who he was giving the points to. Even after he realized, he did not deduct them, the boy deserved them. Snape quietly went back to his desk and continued grading. When all the students began to put their potions on the trolley, Harry unseen quietly went to Snape, stopping at his desk. Snape glanced up and then back to his work.

"Yes Mr. Potter." Again the voice returned to its formal strict tone.

"Professor, I wish to speak to you in private." Harry said but barely above a whisper. Snape then looked up and stared intently at Harry before diverting his gaze back to the paper.

"Is there something particular you wish to speak about?" Snape asked though his voice had become soft.

"It's regarding my-" Harry did not get to finish as Draco pushed him aside.

"Professor, I think one of the flying cauldrons hit my arm, it seems bruised." Draco whined.

Harry pursed his lips tightly and made way as Snape moved to Draco to examine his arm. The arm was a light shade of gray however it seemed alright. Draco did not look like he was in any sort of pain. In fact, the truth of the matter was he simply couldn't digest Snape praising his nemesis, he didn't want Harry to get close to Snape. That place was reserved only for him.

A few minutes passed, Snape went into his private store to retrieve a healing salve. As soon as Snape disappeared Draco moved very close to Harry, perhaps a few inches apart.

"Potter, Potter, I wanted to congratulate you!" Draco whispered.

"For what?" Harry snapped.

"For reaching new lows!" Draco responded.

Harry's eyes narrowed, "Lower than you?"

Draco smirked, "You were always lower than me." Draco paused before inching just an inch closer to Harry so their eyes locked. "You know what's pathetic about you, that you beg for affections." Harry raised an eyebrow questioningly. "With your parents deceased, you walk around like a desperate lovesick girl wanting someone to take care of you…" Draco smiled crookedly, "but no one wants you." Pausing for just a split second, Draco resumed, "That really isn't a surprise if you ask me. You're below us, we all have someone to take care of us, we all have somewhere to go to for Christmas-yet you don't. You boast about friends, love, bravery but you are nothing but an unwanted speck in everyone's life. Even the ones that may for some mysterious reason befriend you, it is for your underserved fame. You are not fit for Hogwarts, even though your status may deem you a reasonable wizard, you were always a muggle by heart whose wealth in Grinnots is just for the show."

The words were dawning on Harry like ashes and it's soothe was rusting his abilities to think. He was feeling too many emotions all at once.

Draco true to his sly nature realized the influence his words were having on Harry and so he cleverly continued giving Harry the final blow. "You've become so desperate to be like one of us that you actually persuaded Snape into adopting you."

Harry's eyes widened.

How did he even know about that?

Yet the question remain unanswered as more harsh words reached his ears.

"Enmity aside, have you ever realized that Snape never really wanted you, I think he just felt pity that you practically had no one and absolutely nowhere to go. I think you should just stop trying to fit in, you will never reach our level so why don't you stop manipulating our Slytherin head." Draco finished with a smug look on his face.

Of course, Draco did not know about the Dursley's mistreatment but he took Harry's constant stay at Hogwarts over the holidays as a sign that there . He cunningly incorporated the knowledge into his little talk knowing well that it will strike a chord within Harry and successfully it did.

Harry had fallen silent, what could he say? There was absolutely no words for him left, no retort, remark, or fight to put up that will leave him satisfied.

He is right, I don't have anywhere to go. Even my friends have a place they willingly want to return to. Ron and Hermione, both have caring and loving families who eagerly await for their return. Who do I really have? He wasn't a Weasley, he often stayed with them but on his own, all alone he really did have no one. Harry felt a lump in his throat but he didn't want to let Draco know that he had won.

"Oh my, it seems to me that you are simply jealous that your Slytherin Head seems to likes me more than you lately." Draco's smile disappeared.

"Look here Potter, stay away from all of us," Draco snarled back. In the distance, footsteps could be heard, Snape returned with two healing salves. Draco returned to his place and greeted Snape however Harry remained silent and refused to meet Snape's gaze.

Snape quickly applied the salves onto Draco's arm and within seconds his arm was back to a more humane shade. Examining his arm. Draco broke out into a grin and wrapped his arms around Snape, "Thank you so much Godfather, I don't know what I would do without you." Snape quickly turned a dark red shade and he quickly looked at Harry. Harry was not stupid, he knew what Draco was playing at and he smartly kept a neutral expression, giving away no signs of his true emotions.

Snape tried to push Draco away but Draco did not let go, "You always care for me and watch after me, I cannot thank you enough for what you do," Draco spoke loudly so Harry could hear and with that he hugged Snape if possible, more tightly. Not being able to tolerate it any longer, Harry quickly excused himself and walked past Snape, not bothering to look back. Snape looked helplessly after him.

As soon as Harry was out of sight, Snape pushed Draco away roughly, "What is the matter with you?"

"I'm sorry Godf-"Draco never finished.

Snape was beyond angry "Do not call me that, especially in Hogwarts, I am Professor Snape to you and I expect you to never display our relationship outside of Hogwarts publicly. If you wish to share any type of gratitude, do it outside of Hogwarts. Are we clear?"

"Yes Professor," Draco murmured back.

"As well, for the cauldrons you blasted today, 5 points are taken off Slytherin." Draco's eyes widened but Snape took no heed. "I am still dismayed at the little scandal you pulled in order to frame Mr. Potter. I hope we have no more incidents like that in the future."

Draco did not respond but feared the outcome if Harry told Snape about their conversation.

"Now you may leave," Snape snapped. Draco quickly scurried away.

Rubbing his temples Snape took a seat at his desk but soon his mind began to wander back to today's potion lesson.. How happy Harry had gotten when he showed his potion to the class. He looked so adorable…wait where did that come from? Snape shook his head but he couldn't help the smile that now spread on his face. He kept pondering on it but then he recalled how Harry had wished to speak to him.

What did he want to say? Did he want to talk about the adoption? Was he not happy? Did he change his mind? He seemed upset when I came back. Did Draco say something to him?

Snape took out a parchment and began to write.

Mr. Potter

If you wish to talk to me in private, I will be available today after dinner in my quarters.

Professor Snape

Snape folded it and handed it to one of the passing Gryffindors to give to Harry.

…

Seamus ran through the halls clutching Snape's letter in his hand. He was highly tempted to read the contents of the letter. Panting he stopped to catch his breath and stared at the letter in his hand. In overwhelming curiosity he unfolded the letter and began to read. The note looked quite ordinary though he was curious why Harry might want to talk to Snape.

"What do we have here?" Draco said as he snatched the parchment from Seamus's hands.

"Give it back Malfoy!" Seamus lurched at Draco however he was held back by Crabbe. As Seamus struggled in the background to free himself, Draco had become silent. Beads of sweat began to form on his forehead. Draco began to wonder if Harry would tell Snape about their conversation. Quickly he ran into an empty classroom with Seamus and Crabbe hot on his heels. Checking to see no one was there he took out another parchment.

Mr. Potter (Draco smirked at the use of the name)

I will not be able to converse with you in private due more important matters at hand. If it is not a grieve matter than I do not wish to waste my time and if it is, I believe it would be appropriate if you told your head. I am sure that Professor McGonagall would be more than happy to aid you.

Professor Snape

Draco cast a charm on the paper causing his handwriting to be identical to that of Professor Snape's.

"There you are ferret!" Seamus yelled.

Draco folded the paper and signaled Crabbe to let go of Seamus. Draco did not want to make it obvious that he might have done something to the letter so he created a scenario where he gave access to Seamus to snatch the parchment from his hands. Draco pretended to be mad and muttered a hasty, "My father will hear about this," before storming off.

Seamus shook his head and ran his finger through his hair to smooth out his disheveled state. All spent he walked slowly to his classroom, that is until he saw Harry.

"Harry," he yelled. Harry stopped in his tracks and turned around.

"Professor Snape gave this to me to give to you." Seamus said panting. Harry accepted the folded parchment and thanked Seamus. They both entered the classroom together. Once he sat down in his seat, Harry began to read the letter. A few minutes passed and yet he could not feel nor understand anything.

"Harry, are you okay?" Hermione asked as she sat beside him.

"Yeah," Harry said however his voice had grown hoarse. It felt as he was suffocating and the air simply refused to reach his lungs.

Soon Hermione began to chat with a nearby Ravenclaw. Harry diverted his gaze back to the letter and read it one last time. He felt a lump form in his throat and a terrible feeling nesting at the pit of his stomach. He looked up and his gaze was met with dozens of students laughing and chatting. The voices surrounded him and new feeling of loneliness, abandonment, and isolation threatened to overwhelm him. He couldn't help but remember Draco's words.

You boast about friends, love, bravery but you are nothing but an unwanted speck in everyone's life.

The uproar fell on deafened ears, Harry felt a few tears escape from his eyes. He was burning, being torn apart, all he wanted was this feeling to end. Slowly and reluctantly he put the letter away in his bag.

He felt no longer a part of this world, of Hogwarts. It all seemed a stranger to him once more.

…

Harry did not speak nor did he attend dinner that. He had spent the whole day huddled in his dormitory. Unknown to him, Snape had waited for him hours after dinner that day before finally falling asleep on the couch.

Ron and Hermione had tried to talk to him but Harry did not communicate much. He refused their kind gestures and offers to help. Every time they would question him, they were met with this new cold wall which came as calculated words and responses. No one knew why or what truly was wrong with Harry? Harry himself had trouble pinpointing this whirlwind of emotions.

The letter now lay forgotten in Harry's bag, suppressed by heavy textbooks and disorganized papers.

…

Harry did not attend any meals the next day or the day after that. He became confined to his rooms. After attending his last class on Friday, he stayed in the library till night before returning to the dormitory. This absurd schedule continued for 2 more days and even his friends were having trouble identifying his location now. While his whereabouts did remain a mystery, students began to talk about his lack of appearance during meals and populated places. Of course Snape heard all of this and soon he began to worry for the boy.

…

3 days and Harry had ate next to nothing. He would perhaps nibble on a few pieces of bread or maybe a few spoons of rice or soup but that was all what his meal was limited to. He consumed nothing else and for a majority of his days he would work to the point of exhaustion. He would conduct unusual research and studies and give in lengthy assignments; in this fervor all enjoyable extracurricular activities were successfully avoided. Regardless, his newly produced work was even giving competition to Hermione.

After a tiring and sleepless night of working late, Harry attended all his classes in a dazed state. During his free period, when all the students filled the great hall, Harry walked in isolation to the Forbidden Forest. A very sturdy and tall tree came into view, thick and in the very middle of the forest. Harry slumped against it and took out a book he borrowed from the library. It was a book describing the inventions of spells and the meanings behind them. Harry studied them carefully. The combination of Latin words and wand movements intrigued him. "Maybe I can make my own spells," he wondered. He was so lost in the text that he did not notice a dark cloaked figure heading towards him.

"My my, aren't you learning to be shrewd?" Harry turned sharply, wand in hand. "Mr. Potter, I suggest you put that wand of yours away or it may lead to undesirable outcomes." Snape punctuated each word carefully as he sat down next to Harry. Harry continued to glare at him however he did put away his wand.

"The boy who lived has finally grown a brain to study. Oh lord, please Mr. Potter, do tell who I owe this gratitude to for finally getting the message through your thick skull the significance of education."

Harry pursed his lips and continued to read, fully ignoring Snape. Not like being ignored, Snape first had the intentions of deducting several house points from Gryffindor but upon seeing the dark circles underneath Harry's eyes and remembering Harry's lack of appetite in the past few days he decided against it. Harry looked exhausted, his appearance disheveled and his hair appeared as if a mini-tornado ran through it. Feeling concern swell up within him, he remembered the purpose of his visit.

"Mr. Potter, would you please kindly explain why I do not recall seeing you at the Great Hall during meals for the past few days." Snape asked moving himself slightly closer to Harry.

"Because I wasn't there Professor," Harry replied cheekily. Harry knew that Snape wanted him to explain his disappearances but Harry began to enjoy this sudden concern coming from Snape. Feeling as if the tables had turned, he in a further attempt to exacerbate Snape went back to his book.

Snape hated being ignored, especially by this brat. The disparity between them did not explain the crucial matters at hand of his lack of appetite. Snape snatched the book of his hands and the emerald eyes met the obsidian.

"What is the matter with you, you insolent spoiled little brat?" Snape snarled as he threw the book out of Harry's reach.

"My problems are of no matter to you." Harry said though his voice began to rise.

"As a matter of fact, Mr. Potter, they are!" Snape looked Harry dead in the eye. "Where have you been these past few days?" Harry swallowed hard remembering all his time he spent in the library hiding from Snape.

"None of your concern git." Snape's eyes turned darker and raged. He grabbed Harry by the wrist and hauled him up, surprised at how light he was. Harry struggled before Snape let go of him and watched as the boy regained his composure.

"As far as I know Professor, you are no longer my guardian and thus I am not obligated to share any of my personal information with you against my wishes." Harry snarled back. He knew that wasn't true considering how he burned the adoption papers but he was running out of options.

His words provoked Snape, tearing old wounds apart and drowning him in old memories.

"Yes, you are obligated to answer because if I may remind you Mr. Potter, I am a respectable professor here at Hogwarts and it is my duty to ensure that my students are safe and in good health. Your constant disappearance from the great hall and receiving information from the house elves about your diet puts me in full authority to question you." Snape knew he had won, there was nothing Harry could say now to change the tables.

"Professor I am in good health, as for the lack of food, I have been making dinner for myself to consume as Hogwarts food was becoming too heavy for my liking." Except that. Snape grimaced inwardly, this boy was just so frustrating.

"You're lying." Snape spat.

"You have no evidence Professor." Harry turned his face the other way and remained quiet.

Snape breathed deeply, he needed to try a different approach if he wanted the boy to eat.

"Harry," Snape tested the name once again.

Harry's head quickly snapped up, eyes sharp and fully alert at the sound of his first name. Snape did not continue, with a flick of his wand, a dark green blanket appeared and unfolded itself, hovering a little before settling on the green grass underneath the shade of the tree. With another flick, Snape conjured a picnic basket and settled it in the center of the blanket.

"Sit," Snape said softly. Harry made no move whatsoever and remained rooted to his spot. Sighing Snape put his hands on his shoulders and pushed him forward to the edge of the blanket. Harry's eyes never left the blanket as he was forced into a sitting position. Snape sat opposite of him, folding their legs they both sat in uncomfortable silence which lasted for a few minutes.

Snape waved his wands one last time and the contents of the basket began to empty out. Soon the aroma of delicious food surrounded them. However Harry was shocked. The food, it was from a Turkish restaurant that he went to frequently. It was a block away from his muggle school and often the place would be crowded but the food would be excellent and rather expensive. He never went there when he was in muggle school for he never had enough money but the smells would make him drool. Once he had figured how to exchange wizarding currency for muggle, he would visit that restaurant often in the summer, usually at night he would sneak out, away from the Dursleys. He would visit the restaurant and the people who worked there acquainted well with him. However the more surprising question was how did Snape know about this? Did he see it in his memories? Perhaps?

"No Mr. Potter, it wasn't your memories from which I knew of your interest for this restaurant." Snape's voice brought him crashing down to reality.

"Stop reading my thoughts." Harry yelled.

"Stop broadcasting them." Snape yelled back.

Back to square one they both thought.

"When I was inquiring the house elves about your whereabouts, one of the house elves, Dobby who revealed to me that this," Snape pointed to the neatly laid out food on the blanket, "was of your liking and considering to rejuvenate your appetite, I ordered it."

Harry could not believe that Snape had gotten through all this trouble for him. His stomach growled, he was starving. He looked at the food, thick lightly buttered rice topped with shish chicken kebabs, a light salad coated with lemon and dark peppers and spices, a wrap (thin bread) consisting of adhana kabab, and garlic bread, with a few dressings. It all seemed so appealing and it was all his favorite.

At first he did not touch, ignoring his instincts he continued to glare at Snape but the contractions of his stomach gave him away. An amused smile spread across Snape's face as Harry's stomach continued to growl.

"I do not want it." Harry said though his voice was hoarse.

"Are you sure Mr. Potter," Snape said as he ate a spoonful of rice from one side of the plate. "I can see why you like this." Snape said after a few seconds, Harry swallowed, repeating in his mind, "Don't look at the food, don't look at the food, don't- oh it would taste really good." While Harry was busy repeating his mantra in his head, Snape had gotten closer and now sat beside him but Harry did not realize the proximity until he felt the heat radiating off the other man. Harry was about to snap at him when he came face to face with a metallic spoon contain the rice and chicken.

"Well Mr. Potter, I'm sure a little bite won't hurt your ego." Harry glared at him, it wasn't his ego, maybe a little but he wasn't going to tell that to Snape. He began to think of another sly answer however it required too much thinking on his part. It was so close and without realizing he ate the contents the utensil offered. As soon as the food came into contact with him mouth, he became almost primitive. He took the spoon from Snape and began to eat mouthfuls of the rice and chicken, it was so good and he was so hungry. He picked at the salad and garlic bread but soon grew too full. Tired and now full, he became slightly sleepy.

Snape watched as the boy stuffed himself with food. Merlin, how long was the boy starving for Snape wondered. He looked at Harry again however the sight was too much for him to hold, Harry had gotten a few grains on his cheeks and was yawning. The dark circles, the poorly attempted glares, the failure to raise one eyebrow without raising both, the "I'm going to kill you if you come near me," attitude, the dark gloomy boy sat like a 5 year old child crisscrossed and trying to eat his wrap with sleepy eyes. It was too adorable and Snape continued to have an entertained expression. After a little while Harry began to doze. Snape looked at the contents of the food, only half was eaten but Snape knew that this was a huge improvement from the previous days. While Snape was busy calculating the nutritions Harry's body would still require, Snape was surprised when he felt a head hit his shoulders.

Harry had finally fallen asleep after so many days. Snape readjusted Harry into a more comfortable position. In other words, Harry's head rested against the dark potion's master's chest as Snape reclined onto the side of the tree for support. Muttering a few more spells, he cast a few protection wards to hide them from plain sight and ear. Casting nonverbal spells, he made the food and utensils disappear however he let the blanket stay. With another nonverbal spell, another blanket appeared though this one was white and furry and the corners of it had a serpent and a lion embedded on it. Snape covered Harry with it. A few moments passed and Snape absent-mindedly began to stroke Harry's hair.

This was the most peaceful sleep Harry received in a long time, he snuggled further to the mysterious figure realizing it smelled of musty spices. The smell was not unwanted and Harry was too exhausted to realize that the man he was hugging was the same he intended to forget.

But only if forgetting was that easy….

Author's note: This chapter is by far my longest chapter, over 7,000 words and it is more of an apology for my absence. While I did not want to ruin the plot, I wanted to give you something to look forward to. I once again thank you for your support and hope this meets your expectations.

Love SCN