A/N: okay, now this is my way to deal with the heartbreaking end of CoLS :'(
For now, until Clare brings out the next book and doesn't break my heart all over again, this will be my headcanon, and i'd like to share it :)

Song of choice: Rubick's cube by athlete (this one is really essential)
Never let me go by Family force 5

I don't own anything :(

You know how they say, that just before you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes?
Well, Alec now understood what they meant by that.
Though he didn't see the scenes of his life, his family and the people he had met throughout his entire time on earth…
He saw only one face, one pair of wonderfully feline eyes, that meant the world and his life to him
Magnus.

The vampire, Maureen, that pressed him down onto the ground, laughed insanely and licked off the drops of blood that stained her face red.
Alec coughed and more blood hit her face, but she didn't seem to mind. She rather enjoyed it.

'I love you, more than I ever thought I could'

Magnus' voice kept echoing inside his head, repeating the conversation they had shared hours ago.
The words that had shattered his heart into millions of pieces,
had forced him down on his knees were torturing him, along with the cold knife that punctured his lungs.
But it didn't matter, in the end.

He would die here.
No one besides Magnus knew that he was here and Alec was sure that Magnus wouldn't dare to turn around and look for him…

And honestly, who could blame him?
Alec felt something wet and warm on his face, slowly, almost agonizingly slowly rolling down his cheeks.
Tears.
He had betrayed Magnus in a way that couldn't be excused, and he knew it. Had known it the whole time.

Again, Maureen burst into hysterical giggles and raised her hand, fingers and nails razor sharp.
Alec tried to move, shove her off, roll away, but he couldn't.
His left arm and legs were broken, his right arm trapped under his heavy torso and his body useless.
The last thing he could, was crying out his beloved's name before Maureen's hand came down, too fast to see, and Alec fainted.

When he opened his eyes again, he didn't feel the pain anymore.
Maureen was gone and he felt warm and light, as if he was floating.
But he was able to move!
At least slowly.
He pulled out his cell phone with his good arm, and called the number he knew by heart.
Cheering the voice mail on inwardly, because he felt his consciousness slipping again, Alec waited.

"Hello, sorry but I can't come to the phone now, please leave a message."

Magnus' voice sounded light and cheerful, and Alec would have chuckled if he had the strength.

"H-hi…" he sighed more than said, holding the phone close, so that Magnus could hear it.
He managed to get out the next words fairly well, after one or two attempts,
but he had to stop when black dots appeared in his vision, and he felt the pain washing over him.
For a moment the warm and fuzzy feeling faded and he coughed, feeling his lungs filled with blood and his sore ribcage.
He couldn't feel anything below the ribs though…
Then, the feeling returned and he almost blacked out, but managed to cling to the phone.

He spoke again, his voice dying slowly, and he tried to keep awake with all his might, but his vision started to fade.

Please don't, he thought, not before I can tell him…

He couldn't tell how often he repeated the words, desperate to at least say it once,
loud and clear enough for Magnus to understand,
before the phone slipped out of his bloody fingers and the warmth embraced him wholly, devouring all the noise and colour from the world.
The last thing Alec saw, was Magnus.
Not the flashy and flamboyant Magnus everybody knew.
The quiet and bedhead Magnus.
The one who loved to wake up next to Alec, no make up, no glitter, no mask…

Shadowhunters fall in love differently.
They truly love only once, and Magnus was Alec's only true love, so Alec almost felt happy, dying before the grief had hit him.
He could die, knowing that at least for a short time, he had been happy, happy to be wrapped in these wonderful, safe and familiar arms, and to be loved by the most wonderful person on this planet.

Jace woke up, tears running down his cheeks, alone.

"No" he whispered into the silence of the empty infirmary.

Terrified of what he'd see, he hesitated to look at the bed beside his.
It was empty…

"Alec…"

A sob escaped his throat and his fingers wandered to the Parabatei rune on instinct.
He wished that it wasn't true, but somewhere deep inside, he had felt it.
The part that had been Alec, his brother, his friend, his other part in battle, had been ripped away.
Like an animal in pain, he cried out and buried his face in his hands.

"Jace!"

Isabelle and Maryse stormed into the room, and hurried to get to Jace.

"What is wrong?" Izzy asked, scared of the answer.

Slowly Jace calmed down and stared at Maryse, seeing his sorrow, pain and horror reflected in her blue eyes that looked just like Alec's.

"Alec" he whispered, feeling as if there was not enough air in his lungs to speak up.

Izzy showered him with questions, but he ignored her, too focused on Maryse.
She had known too.
A mother's instincts, one could say, that had told her that something had happened to her son.
When Isabelle looked at them, she realized it.

"No…" she whispered and it rose to a scream "No, no, no, NO!"

Maryse pulled her close and sat down on the bed, holding her crying daughter in her trembling arms.

When Magnus arrived at his apartment, his heart sank once again.
He had hoped that Alec had taken everything, so that nothing would remind him of the time they had spent together anymore.
But when he closed the door behind him, a sob escaped his throat.
Everything was still the same…
And suddenly, like in a movie, memories flooded into Magnus' mind.
The two of them sitting on the sofa, cuddling, watching TV, arguing, kissing, making love.
In the kitchen, where they had cooked together, had fed chairman meow, had made plans for holidays…
And dear, he didn't even dare to enter the bedroom.
But there were no keys left on the table, no indication that Alec had even dropped by.
Annoyed and exhausted, Magnus flopped down onto the couch and decided to sleep.
He had been out all day, avoiding the dreaded apartment the whole time.
Before going to sleep, he checked his phone, which he had left behind to avoid calls from Alec or the fury called Isabelle.
He chuckled at the thought.
Of course, Alec's family would want his head after their breakup, but he didn't care.
At least Alec's father would stop harassing the both of them now.
Only one missed call…
Wow, Magnus thought, that was strange.
He hadn't exactly expected Alec to go home sobbing and wailing, but he had expected at least some kind of reaction…

One missed call from: My_beloved3

Magnus dreaded the call, but he mustered all his strength to listen to the voice mail, Alec had left behind, bracing himself for the worst.
But he would keep strong, not letting himself break down because of …
well because of the person that meant more to him than any other person on this planet ever had before…
He let out a shaky sigh, and called his voice-mailbox.

"You have one missed call" came the mechanical voice, followed by a beep that indicated the start of the message.

"H-hi…"

Magnus flinched at the weak voice of Alec. It was barely a whisper.

"I know… that you don't, don't want to hear my voice now… But I… I wanted you to, to know that I am happy that I could hear yours again…"

Magnus' heart skipped a beat, and suddenly, he sat up listening intently.
Alec sounded like he was in pain, slurring a bit and breathing heavily.
Then there was a cough and Magnus imagined blood gushing out of Alec's pale mouth.
There was a short moment of only heavy breaths before Alec's voice was there again.

"I am so… so sorry, about us. I don't think-" another cough "-that you ever want to see me again. So I will tell you over… over phone."

The voice grew weaker and weaker, and he couldn't make out some of the words that followed,
but eventually Magnus realized that Alec was simply repeating the same words, over and over again…

"I… I love you, Magnus"

Then he heard a thump, and the call ended.
Magnus stared at the phone, terrified, when tears escaped his eyes and he absentmindedly pressed the repeat button, listening to the words again.
When he was half-way through, he melted out of his stupor and jumped up, putting on some shoes in a hurry, he didn't care what shoes and stormed out of the door.

The call had been about . now it was half past eight.
He ran all the way, not clear enough to summon a portal, and arrived, soaked in sweat and breathing fast.
Not able to tell how or why, but he knew that Alec was still here, where they had shared their last kiss.
His mind was full of horrible pictures, of his beloved, dead and in his own blood, and he was so panicked in reaching Alec, that he almost slipped while climbing up.

And when he actually saw him, Magnus dropped to his knees immediately, tears welling up again.
Alec had his eyes open a bit, his once lively blue eyes were now dim and without any life..
His left arm and both his legs were broken in several places and his shirt was drenched in blood, covering only parts of the huge wound in his abdomen.
It was deep and looked brutal, as if parts had been ripped out.
There was another wound, a more clinical looking one, in his ribs.
Next to his bloody right hand, was Alec's cell phone, vibrating and lighting up.

Magnus scooted closer, gently lifted up the phone, not sure where he got the strength, and picked up.

"Alec?" It was Isabelle. Magnus could hear the tears in her hoarse voice.

"God Alec, I am so relieved. I called like, a hundred times! Jace told us something happened, maybe it's just his Parabatei rune acting up, right?"

She waited for an answer, and her voice changed from relieved to horrified.

"Alec? Alec, this is you right?"

Magnus, who couldn't say anything, bit his lips to prevent a sob.

"Alec? Say something!"

Finally, Magnus let out a sob. He had intended to answer afterwards, but another followed, and another,
and soon he found himself sobbing and crying, bended over his dead beloved.

"I'm sorry" he cried.

"I'm so sorry"

"Magnus?" Isabelle asked, her voice shaking.

"No. don't tell me… please don't"she pleaded before crying out loud.

Magnus ended the call and stared at Alec, still sobbing and crying hard.
Gently, he closed Alec's eyes with his hand, feeling the cold skin under his fingertips.
Like this, Alec looked as if he was simply asleep, peacefully and happy.

He shouldn't have left Alec alone, shouldn't have ended it…
If he hadn't, Alec would still be alive.
They would be at home, fighting and crying, cursing and shouting, but alive.
And after that, they'd make up, like they always had…

But now, Alec was dead, and there was no way to change that.

Oh, but there is, Magnus, he heard a voice whispering inside his head.

It was not the kind of voice that was always in your head, like a little cricket that told you what was right or wrong.
It was a familiar voice, that Magnus feared and hated, but clung to in his desperation.

"Father" he said out loud.

Yes, my son. I could help you and bring him back.

Under other circumstances, Magnus wouldn't even consider listening to the words his father whispered to him, but now?
Now, he only wished for one thing.
Alec.

"What do I have to do?"

He heard something like a chuckle inside his head.

That's my son.

Alec woke up, feeling soft grass tickling his cheeks and fingers.
Slowly, he opened his eyes, staring at a completely white sky and grass growing high all around him.

"Alec."

Alec shot up when he heard the familiar voice next to him.
Next to him sat a boy, about nine years old, brown haired and smiling.

"Max" Alec gasped.

The boy nodded and scooted closer, but he was interrupted by Alec who grabbed the boy and pulled him into his arms quickly.
They remained like this for a moment, until Max gently pushed Alec away.
Only now, Alec noticed that both of them were dressed in matching white clothes.

"I…" he hesitated "I am dead, right?"

Max nodded again, gently taking his hand.

"Yes, but don't be afraid."

It was not that Alec was afraid, it was something else. He was sad. Sad that he had left behind so many people that he cared about.
He looked down at his arm and realized that all his runes were gone, even the partner rune he had shared with Magnus.

"Is this heaven?" he asked, still focusing on his arms.

"No. this is…" Max looked around, sighing softly with a smile
"This is like a waiting room. At least that's how the angel had explained it to me. We will wait here until we are being judged."

"Judged?"

Max smiled soothingly.

"Don't worry, the angel told me, that whoever ends up here has a good chance of staying at the lord's side."

Still confused, but happy to be with his brother, he studied his surrounding.
There was nothing but grass, green and beautiful, and the white sky.

"Are there no other people here?"

"There are" Max gently leaned against Alec's shoulder and closed his eyes.

"But they are a bit further away. There are a lot of kids, though, not many your age."

Alec chuckled bitter.

"So, I can't even find a hot guy for me?"

Surprised and frowning, Max looked up into Alec's eyes.

"A hot guy?"

Alec immediately regretted what he had said, of course, his brother didn't know…

"Uhm, you couldn't know, but I like men"

"I know" Max said, shaking his head "But I also know that you love Magnus, so why would you think about another guy?"

Baffled, Alec stared at his brother.

"How'd you-"

"-I can see you guys sometimes" his little brother answered, and Alec noticed tears shimmering in the boy's eyes.

"I saw you and Magnus together, in Paris and Vienna. And down in the subway station…"

"Max…" Alec sighed, desperate to keep a straight face.

"I see the others as well. Mum, Izzy, Jace…"

Alec's heart broke for his brother when Max's lip started to quiver and tears rolled down the pale cheeks.

"Alec, I miss them. I miss all of…" he couldn't finish, when violent sobs started to shake him and Alec wrapped his arms around Max once again, rubbing his back soothingly.

"I know" he said, his voice hoarse and shaky "They do too. They miss you so much…"

There was no telling, for how long they sat there, Alec holding his little brother and Max crying into his big brother's shoulder.
But suddenly, Alec felt his hunter instincts kick in.
He tightened his grip around Max protectively and looked around nervously.

The sky was no longer purely white, but turned into a dark gray and a strong wind began to blow, tousling Alec's hair.
Something like static was in the air, creating a tension that threatened to burst any second.
Like never before, Alec wished for a weapon, anything to protect his brother from what was coming.
But his thoughts were interrupted, when a white light blinded them, forcing their eyes shut.
When Alec opened them, he saw the outlines of a man standing in front of him, tall and intimidating, towering over them.

"Well hello little Shadowhunter."

After stepping out of the portal, Magnus carefully repositioned Alec in his arms.
He looked around and confirmed that he was indeed at the right place.
To his side, the mount Hermon rose up high into the sky, an to his other side he saw a river. The Yordan.

Quickly, but careful not to move Alec too much, Magnus hurried to the riverbed,
choosing a place where the river was broader than the rest and almost looked like a little lake.
The waters of Dan, he reminded himself.

Before he put Alec on the ground, he brushed away a strand of his black hair and kissed Alec's forehead gently.

"It's going to be all right my love" he whispered.

Almost afraid to leave him alone, Magnus left Alec's side only hesitantly as he stepped into the water.
While he chanted the words to summon his father, he replayed the conversation they had led in his mind.

'What do I have to do?"

Magnus heard something like a chuckle inside his head.

'That's my son.'

'Tell me' Magnus hissed.

'All right, I will."

While his father's voice had sounded mocking before, sincerity had now replaced it, making him sound more frightening than ever.

'You will have to summon me, and I'll offer you a bit of security, at the foot of mount Hermon, in the waters of Dan.'

'Why there? I can't let you roam free in this world and you know that'

'Exactly. That's why you will summon me there. It's a holy place where Enoch spoke to god.
You can summon me, but I won't be able to cross the border into this world completely.'

Magnus wondered, why his father would let the chance to be free slip, but he knew that his father wouldn't lie.
It was one of his only qualities.
He never lied.

'And then?'

'Then I will bring him back to you, with… certain differences.'

'What do you mean?'

'Well, you can't expect him to be completely normal after I have touched him.
He will bear the scar as proof of my contact, and he will be immortal.'

Magnus gasped, not exactly believing what he had just heard.

'Where's the catch?'

He heard a sigh and could imagine his father shrugging.

'My my, why so suspicious?"

'Are you really asking me this?" Magnus growled.

'Just kidding. Now, he will be immortal and will still have the same powers he had when he died.
All of his memories, all of his emotions and features, but… he will belong to me after his time on earth, as will you.'

'What?'

'If you want him back, I want your soul in return. Don't worry, I just want my son back at my side, you won't suffer.
And him, well unfortunately he will be damned after I touch him. and I suppose he will have an ugly scar where our skins touch.'

'You won't have him!' Magnus yelled, realizing that he was still alone and the conversation was solely in his head.

'Oh, but then you will not have him either. And don't forget, it was your fault he died. I promise to add a little bonus if you agree.'

'What?'

'I will not only let him be your companion in my world, meaning he won't suffer, I will also assist him in your world whenever he needs me.
And I will make sure that he won't have to sever his ties with his family.'

'Why would you do that?' Magnus asked, breathless and exhausted.

'Because you are worth so much more, my son. I know you will survive this war, but others will come.
And then, one day, I will need my children to fight at my side. And you will, because I know that the blue eyed boy means enough to you.'

'He does' Magnus whispered, admitting defeat.

'So, does the deal stand?'

Magnus swayed, but when his eyes fell on Alec again, he knew.

'Yes.'

"Well hello little Shadowhunter."

Alec stared at the man in front of him, dressed in a perfectly fitted suit. His long black hair was combed back and fell over his slim shoulders.
There was something about the man that made his gender almost impossible to guess, but his voice was male.
But Alec saw that he was stunningly beautiful, and somehow reminded him of someone else, though he couldn't remember who.
On instinct, he looked into the man's eyes, hoping for a clue, but they weren't what he had hoped for.
They were completely black, but depending on the light, they shimmered red.
Somehow both, the hair and the eyes didn't match the pale complexion and made him look slightly sick, as if these weren't his original colours…

"They aren't" the man spoke, with a voice like liquid silk.

"What?" Alec gasped, arms still around his trembling brother.

"Oh, I read your mind, my apologies, that was rude. But I was once blonde with blue eyes."

Alec gave him a puzzled look.

"Never mind" the man said, adjusting his black tie.

"I came here to fetch you little boy, and I have to say, I understand the fuss that a certain someone is making over you.
You are gorgeous." The man winked at Alec, and it sent a shiver down his spine.

"Would have taken you myself, but you are already in someone else's hands, what a pity."

The man held out a hand for Alec to take.

"Come, there's someone waiting for you."

Alec stared, noticing that despite the strong wind, the man seemed to be unaffected by it.

"NO!" screamed Max, clutching Alec's arm.

The man frowned and stepped closer.

"You little, annoying brat. This has nothing to do with you. Release him."

"No." Max repeated, glaring at the man, who simply shrugged.

"Oh well, I hoped that it didn't have to come to this,
but now your beloved big bro will carry a nice and fat scar for life" he said, grinning, before his long fingers grasped Alec's shoulder.

Alec tried to fight it, but the pain the fingers caused, caused him to black out immediately.
The fingers had burned their way through the clothes instantly, and seared Alec's flesh.
He only heard Max screaming again before he passed out completely.

Magnus was pulled back into reality when blinding light appeared on the water's surface, and the river began to steam, but remained cold around Magnus' feet.
Out of the light, stepped a Man, the man with the red eyes, smiling with his hands folded in front of him.

"Magnus" he spoke with affection, but calculating at the same time.

Magnus nodded him a greeting and gave him an expectant look.

"Father, where is he?"

Magnus' father chuckled and pointed somewhere behind Magnus.

"Well, he's lying right there, isn't he?"

Instantly, Magnus whirled around and ran to where he had left Alec's body.
He knelt down next to the lifeless corpse and he held his breath, waiting for a sign, anything that would show that Alec was back to life.

"Uhm, Magnus?" he heard his father behind his back.

"Maybe you should fix his body, I mean if he wakes up in a destroyed body he won't last long."

Of course, thought Magnus, cursing under his breath, Alec wouldn't return to a broken body.
Hastily, but still focused, Magnus healed Alec's body, which was pretty difficult because the cells in Alec's body weren't reacting.
But nevertheless, Magnus managed to get Alec's body back to its original form…
Whole, and beautiful.
Long, black lashes brushing against pale cheekbones and if Magnus hadn't known any better, he'd think that Alec was simply asleep.

"Okay, now. Step back, and I will pull him over into this world."

Magnus gathered Alec into his arms and shook his head violently.

"No. I want to hold him."

His father sighed annoyed, but eventually Magnus began to feel a heat rising from Alec's body, creeping over the fair skin.
It spread from his heart to his fingertips.
But still, the body itself was lifeless, no motion, no indication of a soul inside, and panic started to take over Magnus.

"Come on, Alec, Alexander, love, come back… please" he pleaded, not sure if Alec could hear him.

He shifted Alec, so that he held him by his shoulder and cradled his head in his arms.
And slowly, he felt something move under his fingers that held the boy's shoulder.
A scar, a wound began to form in the shape of a hand, like fingers that had gripped Alec and pulled him back.
Magnus looked up to meet his father's eyes, hoping for insurance and was rewarded with a nod.

"He's coming back."

Magnus hadn't noticed that he was crying, but now the tears rolled down his cheeks,
and he laughed and sobbed softly at the same time, when suddenly, he noticed another change in Alec.
His scars…
The runes slowly vanished, as if they were wiped away.

"His runes-"

"His runes don't belong to him anymore" his father interrupted

"He is now touched by a fallen angel, and under my protection, but not my influence.
He is his own master, not bound to anyone for as long as he is alive, not to an angel, not to the clave."

Magnus nodded, and returned his attention to Alec, whose eyelids started to flutter softly.

"Alec!" Magnus said, louder than he had intended to be.

"Magnus." His father spoke, determined "Don't forget, and don't try to wiggle your way out."

Magnus didn't even look up anymore but simply nodded,
not giving a single fuck about his father or his own fate, only Alec mattered now,
only Alec existed in this very moment when he opened his eyes and stared up at Magnus, his wonderfully blue eyes unfocused.

"Ma..." he croaked, his voice unusually hoarse and without enough air to talk and breath.

"Don't" Magnus said quickly, gently caressing Alec's face "you need to breath, slowly now."

Alec obeyed and slowly regained a steady breathing.

"Magnus" he whispered "I'm tired…"

Magnus chuckled and pulled Alec as close as possible without hurting him.

"We'll go home, don't worry."

Alec nodded and dozed off in Magnus' arms, his head resting against the warlock's shoulder.
Magnus faced his father again, but saw that the man was slowly dissolving into gray smoke.

"Magnus, I will now take care about your little boy's situation. Don't worry, I'll return to my world afterwards, I swear."

"What will you do?"

A knowing smile spread across his father's fair features.

"Oh, I will whisper into some of the important ears and when they are informed of Alec's condition,
they will suggest keeping him as a co-worker of the clave, kind of like you, but he will have to leave the institute."

"He can live with me" Magnus said, without hesitation.

"Oh" his father said, voice dripping with mockery

"So you've already forgiven him for what he has done to you?
But of course you have!
I mean you just damned his soul for eternity and made him immortal, while he only thought about shortening your life and never went through with it…
I'm sure he'll forgive you."

His father winked before he vanished, leaving a shocked Magnus behind, who still held his unconscious but alive lover… ex-lover.

Isabelle had fallen asleep on Jace's bed.
The exhaustion had knocked her out cold, and even Jace hadn't been able to calm her down.
And for the second time this night, Jace was ripped out of his sleep because of his something he felt deep inside.
But this time, it was only a short sensation, not as if something was ripped out or cut off, rather than a short connection that vanished instantly.

"Izzy."

He gently shook her by the shoulders, feeling her stir.

"Izzy" he called again.

She shot up, glaring at him.

"What's wrong?"

"I think-"

He was interrupted, when Isabelle's phone started ringing, and Nicki Minaj's starship filled the air.
Grossed out, Jace stared at her picking up the phone frantically.

"Minaj?"

"Shut up" she hissed "Magnus chose his own ringtone."

Jace watched her pressing the speaker symbol, allowing him to listen too.

"Izzy?"

Magnus sounded excited but also exhausted.

"Magnus, Jace is here as well…"

"Hi, well, anyway. Please get over here as fast as possible, I mean, if you can Jace you can come too, but I think I need you here."

"Magnus" Isabelle sighed, her voice shaky "I don't think we can take…"

"Just believe him" Jace interrupted, earning a puzzled look from Isabelle.

"Please…" Magnus pleaded.

And that was how Isabelle and Jace had snuck out of the institute and wound up on Magnus' doorstep, not sure what to expect.
But after they had learned of their brother's death, a gleaming and widely smiling Magnus that opened the door and pulled them inside,
where the apartment was decorated with sparkling furniture in bright happy colours, was definitely not on the list of expectations…

"Magnus!" Isabelle screamed, tears in her eyes and her hands clenched into fists.

"How can you?"

"Wait" Jace held her back, to prevent her killing the grinning Magnus.

"What happened?" he asked, unusually calm.

Magnus' smile softened and he glanced towards the bedroom.

"Alec… I brought him back."

Both of the Lightwood siblings gaped at him.

"You did what?" Isabelle asked, dropping her fists.

"I brought him back. I just thought you needed to know. He's resting right now. If you are quiet, you can go inside and check for yourself.
Jace, you felt it, didn't you?"

Slowly, Jace nodded and padded towards the bedroom, closely followed by Isabelle.
They both held their breaths when they entered the room and actually saw Alec, alive and well, under a bright red blanket, his black hair spread all over a white pillow.
Isabelle hurried to his side and checked his pulse.
She looked up and met Jace's golden, worried eyes.
When she nodded, he let out his breath, and Magnus saw the tension leave his shoulders.
He watched Jace walking over and sitting down next to Alec, gently holding his hand, when Isabelle made to walk out of the room, brushing past Magnus.
Magnus turned around, looking after her.

"Izzy…"

"Don't" she said, her back to him "I need to make a call."

Outside, the air was cold.
Isabelle hadn't noticed it when they had come here, she had felt numb back then, but now, she felt it and shivered.
She had just finished talking to her mother, though she hadn't been able to explain a lot,
because Izzy herself didn't know what had happened, only that Alec was alive, and that Magnus wouldn't ever do anything to hurt Alec…
Or at least she hoped it.
But she had another call to make…

She heard the other person pick up immediately.

"Hi, Simon? Yeah, I-I… Simon, I need you… Please pick me up… I can't tell you over the phone like this…"

Simon kept pressuring her to answer, when a sob escaped her and he stopped immediately.

"Simon, please. Just come and get me…" she said, a tear escaping her red rimmed eyes.

She didn't even bother going back inside, she sent Magnus a message, saying where she was going to go and how he could contact her,
but she couldn't handle staying anymore.
She had been the emotional support for both Jace and her mother the whole night, and now, she needed to get away.
It was the only thing she could do before she would completely break down, and out of instinct, the first person she thought of calling for comfort was Simon.
She laughed bitter at the thought.
That stupid, lame vampire had managed to find a way so deep into her heart, that she couldn't get him out…
And she knew he'd come.
As soon as he had heard her voice, the sounds of a person getting dressed had been heard over the phone.
Now she stood there, leaning against the apartment building, counting the minutes until Jordan's truck finally turned around the corner and she practically ran towards it.

"How did you do it?" Jace asked, his eyes still glued on his brother.

"I mean, his runes are gone… and he… he was dead. I felt it."

Magnus slowly walked over and stood next to the bed, gently stroking Alec's hair.

"He was. And I brought him back."

"But how? And, I mean you know what happened after I came back, nothing good has come out of it."
Jace sounded tired and bitter, Magnus thought, as if he regretted ever having returned.

"What if I tell you that he isn't possessed, evil, or anything, but simply the same? Do you think he'll regret having come back?"

The blonde sighed and looked up into Magnus' eyes.

"As long as he's fine and not in danger of the same I was, I'm fine. And I don't think he'll regret it. But…" his voice changed into concern and sadness

"we are no Parabatei anymore, right?"

Magnus hated to shake his head, but he did.

"He won't ever wear a rune again" he said, feeling his heart sink when Jace looked at Alec as if he was still dead…

"It doesn't matter… He's my brother and he's alive. But… why? You said he didn't change."

"Well, not in that direction. He" Magnus sighed and leaned against the wall

"He won't be able to stay a member of the clave because, like you have been touched by an angel, Alec was touched by a fallen angel."

When Jace glared at him, Magnus held up his hands.

"Look, he is now immortal, and he is still the same Alec inside, he just… he is now protected by the fallen angels and not the angels.
But he himself, his personality didn't change."

Slowly and ready to jump, Jace got up.

"So you damned his soul?" he hissed, coming closer.

"I saved him!" Magnus yelled, but shot a worried look in Alec's direction instantly, afraid he'd woken him up.

"you sold him!" Jace growled "Because you were too selfish to let him go!"

"No. I…" Magnus hesitated, because Jace was right…
He had been too selfish and had done something even worse than Alec had only thought about, and Magnus had used that as a reason to break up…

"I didn't sell his soul. I sold mine" he said, staring into Jace's eyes.

Lying was an art that Magnus had perfected over the years…
He wouldn't tell Jace or any other person about the time after Alec's death, before he had talked about it with Alec.

"I will go to hell for this after I die."

Jace gaped at him, taken aback, and backed away.

"I'm sorry" he said, voice low.

"It's okay" Magnus said, his face straight.

"Can i… can I crash here?" Jace asked, almost shyly.

Magnus nodded and walked him out of the room, directing him into the one Clary had slept in not too long ago.

"If you need anything, food's in the fridge. Or knock."

Jace nodded, gratefully, while Magnus turned around and headed back.

Alec opened his eyes and stared at a ceiling…
Well, normally that wouldn't be too much of a surprise, but this particular ceiling he knew.
He was in Magnus' bedroom…

Slowly, he heard the door being opened, and he sat up a bit to look who entered.
When he realized who stood in the doorway, Alec almost cried, but he held back the tears.
Magnus stood there, staring at him, just as surprised.

"Alec…"

"Magnus I am – "

He couldn't finish, because Magnus had hurried over so quickly and had his arms around Alec in an instant.
At first, Alec was a bit surprised, but eventually leaned into the familiar arms and slid his arms around Magnus' waist.
Magus was fully dressed, while Alec wore a bathrobe, smelling of sandal wood…

"How are you?" Magnus whispered into Alec's ear, sending shivers through his body.

"Fine… tired" he answered "Magnus… what happened?" he shifted a bit, so that he and Magnus were face to face, only inches apart.

"I remember being attacked, and then…"

"Alec" Magnus cut him off, his feline eyes darkened and Magnus leaned even closer.

"I'll tell you tomorrow, okay? But now-"

Magnus gently brushed his lips against Alec's

"-let's not talk. I just need to hold you right now."

Alec wanted to protest, but he was shut up, when Magnus pressed his lips against Alec's gently, but longingly.
Alec, not aware that Jace was not too far away, moaned softly and returned the kiss, pulling the warlock close, clinging to his arms.
one of Magnus' hands wound through Alec's hair, gently guiding Alec to lie down, and he positioned himself on top of Alec.
The kiss deepened and even if both of them were gasping for air eventually, it was as if for the first time after their break-up, they could breathe again…
Alec moaned Magnus' name when the warlock started to kiss his way down to Alec's collarbone, gently nipping and biting on the spots he knew Alec loved.

"Magnus… oh god!" Alec cried out softly when Magnus bit his nipple, while rubbing the other gently.

"N-not today…"

Magnus got up and kissed Alec again, gentler this time.

"Tired?" he asked against Alec's lips.

"Exhausted" Alec chuckled.

Deciding that it was probably best to leave it at that for today, Magnus rolled off Alec and pulled the boy close, so that they were both on their side, their legs intertwined.

"So…" Alec mumbled.

"Can you forgive me?"

Magnus wanted to answer right away, but the guilt kept nagging. Some day, the roles may be reversed and Magnus would beg for forgiveness for what he had done…

"Yes. I love you Alec. I always will…"

The smile that crept onto Alec's tired face, was adorable, and made the guilt inside Magnus even bigger.

"I love you too" Alec replied, huddling closer, and falling asleep almost immediately.

When Magnus came to the next morning, Alec was gone.
Feeling panic rise inside, Magnus got out of bed and hurried out into the living room where Alec sat, chairman meow in his lap, purring softly.
Alec was reading the newspaper, but something in the way he gripped the paper was wrong.

"Alec" Magnus said, cautiously.

"Sit down" came the answer, angry and determined.

Magnus obeyed, sitting down next to Alec, while Alec threw the papers on the coffee table.

"Alec I – "

"-Don't. I don't want to listen now, you will."

Alec turned to look at Magnus, his eyes were filled with hurt.
Shit.

"Yesterday, I thought all of it had just been a dream… our fight, my… death, and the return.
I thought I had dreamt it all up and that I'd wake up next to you, happy and perfectly fine.
But do you know what happened in between? "

There was a moment of silence; Alec usually never got this upset.

"Your father happened. Oh and don't give me that surprised look, I know he's your father!
He came to me in a dream, explaining everything to me.
My death, my time with my brother, that you had brought me back, what you have paid and what it did to me."

"Alec, please"

"NO!" Alec yelled, scooting closer and cupping Magnus' face with one hand.

"You sold my soul! You damned me! For eternity… I will never go to where my family is when I die!"

Magnus felt a tear escaping, and he grabbed for Alec's hands, when the furious look on Alec's face softened.

"But you know what? The thing that bothers me the most about this whole damn thing?
No matter how hard I try or want to, I can't bring myself to hate you for it…"

"What?" Magnus asked, his voice shaky.

"I don't know how or why, but somehow I am okay with it. I would have sold my soul myself if it meant staying here, with you."

Alec closed the distance quickly, kissing away Magnus' tear and then his lips.

"And the deal we got. It's pretty good. I mean the clave already knows and is okay with it.
I won't have to patrol actively anymore and I'll be a back-up warrior.
I just won't be allowed to live with the institute.
But I called mother already, and she's fine with it. I just – "

He looked down at himself

"- It think I'll miss the scars somehow. Besides the one on my shoulder."

Magnus laughed, relieved at Alec's reaction.

"I can't even try to understand how you manage to keep this calm" he said, and smiled at Alec.

"I don't know. But let's just stick to this, shall we?"

Alec winked at Magnus and got up, gathering Chairman meow, who had jumped down during their conversation, in his arms.

"Yeah, I think I can do that" Magnus said, marvelling at how Alec managed to smile so freely.

A month later.

Magnus heard the buzzer to the door and flicked his finger, opening the door, blue sparks chasing the chairman off his lap.

Clary, Jace, Isabelle and Simon entered the apartment, happily chatting and laughing.
Magnus got up to greet them, kissing Izzy's cheek and giving Clary a hug.
Before he let her go, though, he whispered into her ear:

"Alec's in the study, waiting for you. He said he wanted to show you something."

When they let go of each other, she nodded smiling and left the group, Jace staring after her.

"What are they doing?" he asked Magnus who began to make delicious cakes appear on the coffee table while Isabelle and Simon sat down, holding hands.

"Oh, just… stuff you know?" Magnus replied, innocently.

"You don't know?"

Magnus waved it off.

"Alec told me that he'd show me when he's done, so no. I don't know anything.
All I know is that he went out this morning, for hours.
So I hope it's something nice"

He wiggled his eyebrows before focusing back on letting cakes appear and pointed at Simon.

"Hey, Shakira, could you please fetch us some dishes?"

"Shakira? Seriously?" Simon asked, raising an eybrow.

"Nah, I'm just kidding, Sammy."

"Whatever" he said while getting up "it's pretty close."

When Simon left, Magnus turned to Izzy, a confused look on his face.

"He's not called Sammy?" he whispered completely serious.

"I'm Simon!" the vampire called from out of the kitchen "And I can hear you, you know Vampire. Just in case you forgot that as well."

Isabelle laughed at the embarrassed face Magnus made, but he recovered quickly.
After a while, Alec and Clary joined the group and Isabelle immediately grabbed her brother and sat him down on the couch.

They now sat around the four cakes Magnus had gotten like this:
Clary and Jace cuddled up on the floor.
Magnus and Isabelle occupied the couch with Alec in their middle.
And Selina, ahem, Simon sat on a comfortable leather armchair, pouting a bit, just a tiny bit.

"Oh, I almost forgot" Magnus cursed and snapped his fingers, when on one of the cakes, a strawberry cake, blue letters appeared and candles lit up.

'Happy birthday Alexander Lightwood'

Alec smiled, blushing a bit and blew out the candles while the others cheered him on.
Instantly, Isabelle and Jace attacked the cakes, while Alec leaned back against Magnus, kissing him on the cheek.

"What did you wish for?" Magnus asked staring deeply into the blue eyes of his beloved.

"Nothing, actually" Alec replied smiling happily "I have all I need, but…"

"But what?"

"Well, I've been thinking. Chairman could use some company, right?"

Magnus chuckled.

"I could turn you into a cat you know."

He leaned closer and whispered into Alec's ear, his breath hot and it made Alec shiver and he closed his eyes.

"Or, just some ears or a tail, I heard cats are very sensitive there. You know, like humans are here."

Magnus' tongue slid over Alec's ear, making him gasp, and suddenly Alec was uncomfortably aware that they weren't alone and somehow, all the noise had vanished.
When Alec opened his eyes again, and Magnus backed away, smirking smugly, he saw the others staring at them.
Well, Clary and Isabelle were, Simon looked away and covered his ears, while Jace had his eyes clenched shut and leaned against a flushed Clary.

"That was hot" Isabelle said, gaping at them.

"Are they done yet?" Simon and Jace asked exactly at the same time, making Magnus burst into laughter.

Alec grabbed a plate filled with cake and shoved a piece of it into Magnus' mouth.

"Shut up and eat your cake!"

Later that evening, Magnus lay in bed, naked, just in case for some awesome birthday sex, reading a book.
He looked up when Alec stepped inside, freshly showered – (a good sign, that made Magnus grin involuntarily) – and dressed in boxers and a long sleeved shirt.

"You cold baby?" he asked, eying the long sleeves as if they were made out of pure evil.

"No, actually" Alec climbed into bed on top of Magnus smiling shyly "I wanted the surprise to last as long as possible."

Magnus stroked Alec's are thighs and purred.

Slowly, Alec pulled off the shirt and revealed the surprise,
but as always, Magnus' gaze was drawn to the scar over his beloved's shoulder instantly and guilt tugged at his heart.
Then he saw them…
A rune over his collarbone, like a scar that had used to be there before.

Magnus gently traced it with his fingers.

"It's the Parabatei rune, right?"

Alec nodded sadly.

"Jace told me that he misses the bond, and… I do too.
I thought in his honour I could at least keep it on my skin, even if it's only a tattoo.
Clary helped me."

"It's beautiful."

"But it's not the surprise."

"It's not?"

Alec shook his head and held up his left arm slightly, showing another rune.

"The rune we – " Magnus said, breathless.

Alec leaned down and intertwined his fingers with Magnus' his tattoo perfectly matching the scars on Magnus' arm.

"The rune we shared, when we first became one, not in the physical way."

Again, Magnus purred and a sultry smile appeared on his lips.

"Is there more?"

Alec nodded.

"But it's written in an old shadowhunter code. You can try to decipher it if you want."

Magnus liked where this was going and started roaming his hands all over Alec's body, causing the boy's breathing to fasten slightly.

"Well then show me."

Alec smirked.

"Well, to see it, you will have to see my back…"

"Baby, I'd love to bend you over, you know that" Magnus said, letting out a deep growl.

Alec drew his fingers down Magnus' upper body, scratching him lightly.

"Oh, I am sure it'll take even you a while to read it, think you can last that long?"

Suddenly, Magnus grabbed Alec's hips and ground up against him.

"I wouldn't worry about me lasting, baby."

Alec let out a little shriek of surprise when Magnus rolled them over and found himself being pressed into the mattress,
while his lips were caught in a fierce fight over dominance with Magnus'.
They chuckled and for a moment, their embrace softened, loosing the brutal need for each other and was replaced by gentler touches and soft moans.
To Alec's disappointment, Magnus drew away all too soon.

"You know I love you Alexander, right?"

Alec smiled softly and gently stroked Magnus' cheek.

"I do. And I love you."

"Forever?"

"In life and death, Magnus. Forever."

For a moment, Magnus' heart sank.
He had been the one to damn Alec's soul, to rip him down into hell.
They were doomed and it was only a matter of time until their time on earth would end.
But at least they'd be in hell together.

Their lips met again, and Magnus decided to leave it at that.
There would be more than enough time to cry and ponder about the whole matter.
But for now?
For now he just wanted to be as close to Alec as possible, and he'd never let him go again, come what may.