Chapter 3

I would like to thank for the people who reviewed! C: You are the reason I wrote this chapter. Merci! :D

Pairings: Tony/Ziva

Spoilers: Um... A hint of like the first undercover mission with Tiva, but if you are reading this, I hope you have kept up with the seasons...

Disclaimer: A girl can dream can't she?

Also, like I said, I'm trying to do Tony's POV more… I find it more challenging, but practice makes perfect, eh? c:

Chapter 3

Ziva had ended up falling asleep on the couch, and Tony turned to see her head snuggled into a pillow on the armrest. She didn't even wake when he brushed her hair out of her face. Tony smiled, looking at her. His Ziva. The term "his" stung him, because it wasn't true, no matter how much he wished it was. He continued staring at her for he doesn't know how long before realizing it was getting close to 2am in the morning. He stood up, and walked to put on his shoes, when he heard her sigh.

She'll wake up with a bad back tomorrow if she doesn't get off that couch. He stood there for a few seconds, before deciding what to do. He walked over, and, very carefully, picked Ziva up, and walked slowly to her bedroom. He pulled down her sheets with one hand and laid her down, and tucked her in. He had just started to turn to leave when he heard her speak in a sleepy voice.

"Tony? Don't leave me. Stay" her voice, groggy, probably didn't even know what she was saying, but Tony couldn't say no. Not to her. He sighed and took off his shoes, and crawled onto the other side of her bed. She then rolled over to where he was sleeping and curled into his back. "Ziva, what are you doing?" Tony knew his voice sounded tense, but he was! Ziva, who drew herself up into a tight ball ever since Somalia, was curled up next to him, in HER bed.

"Mmm… Don't flatter yourself Tony, its cold." Ziva was already almost asleep. "I wasn't, and fine, just don't kill me tomorrow." He thinks he heard a faint chuckle in reply, but he wasn't for sure. He finally closed his eyes, and fell into a deep slumber himself.

~'O'~

Tony awoke to a scream, and turned to see Ziva, screaming. He reached over and started say her name over and over. "Ziva? Ziva, Ziva!" He realized then that she was asleep and having a nightmare, so he did something he normally wouldn't even think of doing. He started shaking her. "Ziva, Ziva, wake up!" Before she had even opened her eyes, she had her hands on his throat. Her eyes flew open, and all he saw was tears, and fear etched into them.

"Zi, you know, I told you, and if you were gonna do that, not to kill me?" Tony was starting to really need oxygen. Ziva stared at him for a moment longer before releasing her hold. "Sorry Tony, I..." she stopped, her eyes filled with tears, and his heart broke when he saw her like this, so vulnerable. The Ziva he knew wouldn't even dare cry. People her whole life had done this to her, and it angered him.

"Oh, it's fine Zi. I'm just glad it wasn't your gun, like last time." He smiled down at her, knowing that's all he could do for her, at the moment. She finally sat up, and continued staring at him. "Zi, I'm going to make some tea, want some?" Tony asked as he climbed out of the bed, and went to turn on the hallway light. He turned around to see a confused look on her face. "Tony, you don't like tea." He then understood her confusion. He could make a smart remark, but he decided against it. "No, but you do. It calms you, which I am figuring what you want right now." He gave his prize winning Dinozzo smile, and walked to the kitchen leaving her without another word.

Fifteen minutes later, he had made a pot of tea, and was about to get out the cups, when he heard someone behind him. He turned around to see Ziva, hair in a mess, pajamas wrinkly, with a sleepy look on her face. "The third cabinet, bottom shelf." She said, causing Tony to not understand what she meant. "The cups, third cabinet, bottom shelf are where they are." Tony turned his head to the cabinet she indicated, and grabbed two cups, and poured tea into them. He watched as Ziva sipped her cup slowly, careful not to burn her mouth.

"I have to admit Dinozzo, you make decent tea for someone who doesn't like it." Ziva said which Tony smiled at this remark, for who knows what reason. "My mother used to be fond of it, so when I was little, I would make her bed in breakfast a lot, and tea was something I learned how to make. She actually taught me, after I tried my first time without her. She didn't like it." Tony watched as Ziva took in every word he said. He didn't talk about his mother much and she knew he didn't really like too, because he had loved his mom, and she died when he was at a young age.

"Ah, she told you that did she?" Ziva tried to lighten the mood, trying to make her sound funnier. "No actually, she would never say that to me. It just added up when I left and her tea was gone within two minutes, and the Aloe Plant died a few days later. That and she then told me, since I liked making tea for her, she would show me how to make it." He saw her face glued to every word he said, but it seemed a little forced. Like she wanted to think about what he said, trying to forget something else.

"Ziva, how long?" His voice questioned. "I do not understand your question Tony." Ziva's voice tried to sound confused, but instead sounded guilty somewhat. "You do too understand my damn question Ziva. How long have the nightmares been happening? The screaming?" His voice had a hint of anger in it, but not at her, at the fact he hadn't known until tonight, that he hadn't been there for her. "Tony, it doesn't matter." Ziva almost had a begging whine to her voice. "The hell it doesn't Ziva! You wake up screaming every night, almost crying. CRYING Ziva. You won't talk about it, not even to me! Your partner! There is something obviously wrong!" His voice strained towards the end.

"Ever since Somalia, okay? I wake up every night. The doctors and therapists, they say it's something that should have faded away, and they don't understand why it hasn't. I understand why Tony, because I wish sometimes that I hadn't survived then. That I would have died, before any of it had taken place, because it's sometimes so hard to live with." It was the longest and truest talk about Somalia he had heard from her. He knew she had kept a lot of this bottled up, even when her shrinks had asked her if she had talked about it with someone. He knew, now that she had finally opened up a little crack behind her door, he would have to make his way in, slowly.

"I understand. I want you to know something though. I am glad you didn't die then. It may sound selfish, but you got to come home. Even through all the stuff you went through, you're still my partner Zi, and I would, and have went across the world to save you, to avenge your death. I wasn't lying when I said I couldn't live without you, you are my best friend, my partner. So, I am happy you are still alive." He drew in a breath. "And if you want, we can talk about it. Now, or later." He looked at her, trying to understand what she was thinking. She opened her mouth to speak, and then reopened it. "Tony, I did not say, I wish was dead all the time. It's just sometimes I feel so alone, and miserable. I am trying to move on, and I have to some extent. Also, thank you, I know you have always been kind, and caring to me. I have pushed you away a lot, and for that I am sorry." He smiled at her words and poured his tea down the drain.

"Well, it's 4am according to the stove, and I am not tired, are you?" She shook his head at him, and ushered him towards the couch. Where they sat and talked for hours. About Somalia, life, the past, them, everything. Tony then felt, as if they were getting back how they used to be, and realized, they would never be the same they was, but they could create a whole new them.

Dun Dun Duhhh. Done with Chapter 3 c: I have to admit something, the last paragraph, I think was subconsciencly (Yeah don't ask me how to spell that…) stolen from someone names "DestinyBlue" on DeviantArt. It was her puzzle anime art. Because, I am obsessed with her artwork! She said maybe it's not always about trying to fix something broken. Maybe it's about starting over and creating something better. but like… this woman's art speaks to your soul. I 3 it! C: