A/N: I'm trying to write things I'm bad at writing. This is one of those things. I like to fancy myself better at writing emotional turmoil rather than happy times. I don't know what that says about my person hah. But anyways, my attempt at not complete and utter pure angst (even though it's still kind of angsty). hah We'll see how it goes though. Also established Rizzles.

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters. Not making money. Etc.

"Don't you think you're standing a little close to the edge there, Detective?" Maura Isles wrapped the thin blanket she brought with her from Jane's couch tighter around herself. It was nearly midnight, and Boston winters always held a little extra bite at night. A cool breeze swept over them. It was Friday. Maura hadn't seen or heard from Jane all day. She was out doing detective things and catching a killer in the process. When Jane didn't make it to her house for their normal movie night Maura got a little worried. She knew from Frost, Jane was home but for some reason her friend wasn't answering her calls or texts. It was unlike Jane and very worrisome.

Jane closed her eyes taking a deep breath. She was on the roof of her building. "I'm not going to jump." Her hands were stuffed in the pockets of the leather jacket she was wearing. Her loose hair was blowing slightly in the wind. She let her words hang in the air but she didn't try to move further away from the edge of the roof. It was strangely calming to know that with a step or two her life would be over. Not that she would ever take that step. She was too much…too much of something to do that. Some would call it cowardly, some would call it brave, some would call it stupid but knowing that it could all be over, looking death straight in the face, gave her a strange sense of peace. This was much different than standing in front of a loaded gun for a stranger, like she did earlier in the evening.

"I know." Maura said taking a step further onto the roof. "I'd still feel better if you stepped away." Maura gave a sigh at Jane's stillness. In all the years she'd known Jane she had never seen the other woman so listless, so indifferent to the world. She was sure if Jane would ever turn to her that she would see no trace of emotion in the detective's dark chocolate colored eyes.

Jane took another deep breath staring out over the city she took an oath years and years ago to keep safe. Then she turned to the woman she had a secret vow with herself to never put in harm's way ever again. Gruffly she sat down in the fold out chair she had stashed away on the roof for occasions such as this. "I'm sorry Maur, but I'm not good company tonight." Jane reached down for a small Styrofoam cup that was next to the chair taking a sip. The coffee was still warm. "You should go home. Enjoy your evening." She wasn't surprised when Maura didn't leave nor when the prim and proper woman sat on the roof next to her chair. Maura wasn't supposed to be there. Every few months she needed a little break. A weekend where she wasn't on call where she could just sleep all day or eat all day, a weekend to be left alone to her dark and twisted thoughts with only herself as judge, jury, and executioner. It started with Hoyt and then later grew over from other things once he was gone. It wasn't a depression or a psychotic episode it was just a time that she could decompress from the stress of her life. But Maura being there was ruining it.

Maura wasn't sure what she should do so when her detective moved to sit on the chair she sat down beside it. It didn't surprise her that there were no beer bottles littered around the fold out lawn chair. Jane wasn't much of a drinker except when they went out to the Robber. There was the occasional beer or glass of wine but never in living memory had she ever seen Jane completely drunk. "What are you drinking?" She placed her head on the arm of Jane's chair.

"Coffee." The answer was short, crisp and to the point.

"It's midnight, Jane."

"I don't plan on sleeping tonight, Maura."

The response caught the doctor slightly off guard. She once again found herself torn on her next move. She knew from experience that Jane would open up on her own time. The other part of her, the girlfriend part of her, wanted to sit in Jane's lap and trace her face with her fingers while kissing her into oblivion so she'd forget about all the hurt and the mundane and just focus solely on Maura. Maura knew this fight, this internal struggle, was all a part of loving Jane and she wouldn't trade it for anything as cliché as it sounded. The medical examiner instead scooted herself forward wrapping one arm loosely around Jane's ankle and her cheek on Jane's knee. The silence between them was not uncomfortable. Maura liked knowing Jane was safe by her side and the night sky set a beautiful backdrop for the night. She and Jane had been dating for two months. It wasn't that much of a change if she was being honest. When she brought it up with Jane the other woman just laughed and said they were already dating just not exclusively and without the physical stuff. The night it happened was a normal night, much like the one they were having now. They were talking about the show they were watching and Jane just kissed her. From there a long conversation had ensued and now two months later Maura couldn't be happier.

Jane let out a contented sigh at Maura's move. Maura was giving her a lifeline. Best friend, girlfriend, whatever, she was there and she'd always be there. The sentence 'to hell and back' didn't even cover the amount of things the two of them had gone through together just to get where they were. She took another sip of her coffee. With Maura it was easy, the romantic stuff anyways. The physical stuff was kind of awkward at first but they got through that phase and it was just easy. Maura was comfort, safety, security, and stability. Those were all things that Jane sorely needed. Maura was someone who'd weather the storm of her life at her side. "I come out here sometimes." Jane said breaking the comfortable silence cursing her own voice for being so quiet. She closed her eyes letting the breeze hit her skin. She felt Maura's hand trailing up and down the bottom half of her leg. "I feel like I'm drowning, like I'm treading water and I just can't swim anymore. Then I come out here and that…that feeling slowly fades." She bit her lip at the confession. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess." She added softly.

Maura laughed at Jane's last comment. It was a deep throaty laugh, the kind of laugh that always made Jane smile. "You're not a mess." Maura placed a soft kiss on Jane's knee. "I understand though. There are no walls out here; it's just you – us – and the sky. It's very peaceful, very calming." She snuggled closer to Jane's leg. "The – the other thing, I understand that too." She took a deep breath. "We have very demanding, challenging jobs. Everyone needs a way to de-stress, to relieve the tension. It's nice up here."

"Isn't that what sex is for?" Jane asked the humor in her voice only half-hearted.

Maura grinned into Jane's pant leg. "There's that too. It usually only releases the physical tension, endorphins, and other hormones that help the body heal. Ultimately you would feel better, but it's not a permanent solution. Well," She thought. "I guess it could be but that could be very tiring." Jane laughed at Maura's statement the sound reverberating through out her body and slightly rocking her chair. "Jane," The sincerity in Maura's voice made Jane's breath hitch in her throat. "Whatever you're feeling, you don't have to carry it alone. I – I know you hold yourself to a higher standard but when you feel like you can't swim anymore and you can't come up here, you have me." The sentence was full of love and kindness.

Jane felt her eyes burn and her bottom lip tremble unexpectedly. People were always telling her they were there for her but few of them actually followed through or even knew how to follow through. Maura was different though. Ever since that first crime scene together Maura was different. The woman was so…Jane couldn't even find a word for it. Kind didn't do her justice and generous also didn't quite feel right. Maybe it was honest. Maura was just so honest. Not in just the fact that she couldn't lie but in the fact that she was so inherently good. The world and the things she's had to endure haven't ruined her. It was amazing to Jane. Maura always amazed her. Something inside Jane snapped. Suddenly she wanted to bury her face in Maura's shoulder and just fall asleep there. She wanted Maura in her arms. A shiver ran down her spine and the fact that they were sitting outside in the middle of a Boston winter fully hit her. She reached down grabbing Maura's gloved hand that was wrapped around her leg. Maura looked up at her with inquisitive hazel eyes. Jane could only wonder how she was so lucky to have Maura as a friend much less a romantic partner. "Let's go inside." She stood from her seat pulling the doctor into a standing position as she did.

"But –"

Jane interrupted her with a kiss. "I have you right?"

"Always, Jane." Maura placed another kiss on the detective's lips.

Jane pulled Maura's beanie further down her head to cover her ears more. "You are freezing." Jane chuckled.

Maura giggled before wrapping the small blanket she had around them both. "Likewise, Detective." Then they made the small trip back to Jane's apartment.

A/N: Have you ever felt that way? Where you just need to be small and outside and the world just fades? It's like that fog clears and you can just be? Moving on. I don't know what it is about Jane's character but I just love her so much. I relate to her a lot more than Maura (I mean I still can relate a lot to Maura.) I think I've taken too many English classes in college/high school so it's like engrained into my head to look deep into characters. The good thing about these characters is that they are so real and I don't get that a lot with other shows. (Maybe I'm watching the wrong shows? lol) In my first draft I had Jane's confession be longer and there were tears but then I was thinking that's not really how she is in the show. She usually just gives out bits and pieces and it's up to Maura or Angela or Frankie or Frost or whoever she's talking to to put it all together. So helpful comments? Ways to improve my semi-fluff writing skillz?

Thanks for reading!